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+--- Thread: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) (/Thread-6G-bonanza-journalings-and-random-musings-Currently-OSC-DRS)
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-19-2025
I got to practice singing today finally and it went "fine, I guess", with moments of brilliance at the end, but I did experience hints of anger and frustration still - even without much of a reason, TBH. Maybe these'll pass, I dunno, I hope so.
I did not manage to listen to OSC right before practicing because I need to commute to my practice space and it takes about 30-45 minutes to get there. I'd have to listen to OSC on earbuds while underway.
Now I can finally get some rest and do my EMS session. I'm now at 103 kgs and counting down! Also the EMS training is beginning to make me look kinda hunky; with less flab it'll be even more so.
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-19-2025
I'm getting bouts of *manageable* anger here and there, making my internal monlogue become more rapid and having me swearing out loud and wanting to punch and kick things, lewl. It's annoying because it messes up my eudaimonia and good mood, but on the other hand I remember Shannon mentioning in a another journal here that OSC can have such an effect because as you become more self-confident you become more confident in expressing your anger as well, or something to that extent. Could apply to other emotions as well.
It comes and it goes though. Normally, I'd channel this into listening to angry metal music, lol, so maybe I'll do that. Just gotta find the proper tunes.
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Shannon - 03-20-2025
You tend to become more confident expressing yourself, and where it is doing things under the hood to achieve it's goals that upset or anger some part or parts of you, or give them the confidence to express long buried emotions and responses to things that have been holding you back.
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-20-2025
Thanks for the additional clarification.
I do believe this anger is an expression of legit beefs which were being forcefully "repressed" by outside circumstances, given from whom I'm cussing out (it's personal beefs mostly with people I've worked for, idiotic family members, stupid girlies and their Oedipal Sonnies, and the like).
I'm putting the "repressed" in quotation marks because actual repression, in psychoanalytic terms (the underlying mechanism of neuroses as per Freud), it is not, I think (or at least is so no longer). Neuroses are symptomized by, like, false memories, intrusive thoughts and repetition compulsion, for instance.
I did call myself a "fat slob" just right now after finishing my workout. It's also due to natural weight fluctuation throughout the day. I think I might be weighing myself too often due to feeling insecure about my weight.
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-20-2025
I did find a song which I like to express the above, but it's surprisingly not of the metal genre.
Talking Heads - Psycho killer!
"Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là
Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-là
Réalisant mon espoir
Je me lance vers la gloire, okay
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
We are vain and we are blind
*I hate people when they're not polite*
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eauZzwt8Ci8
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Catman - 03-20-2025
(03-20-2025, 10:09 PM)Have at ye Wrote: I did find a song which I like to express the above, but it's surprisingly not of the metal genre.
Talking Heads - Psycho killer!
"Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là
Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-là
Réalisant mon espoir
Je me lance vers la gloire, okay
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
We are vain and we are blind
*I hate people when they're not polite*
Psycho Killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eauZzwt8Ci8
Great song, I enjoy a lot of your music posts.
Here's another version of this song, from a group I have liked forever: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkt20fqXPnw
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-21-2025
Musac is always good. I'm glad someone's enjoying it!
I like the Velvet Revolver version as well, hadn't heard it before. It's a bit heavier and the singing's better.
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Catman - 03-21-2025
(03-21-2025, 12:29 AM)Have at ye Wrote: Musac is always good. I'm glad someone's enjoying it!
I like the Velvet Revolver version as well, hadn't heard it before. It's a bit heavier and the singing's better.
That's why I wanted to suggest it, man. From what you've posted, you seem to like harder and more metal songs.
You dig Megadeth? I loved them. Rust in Peace and Countdown To Extinction are class albums. Youthanasia wasn't bad either, but hard to compete with those two gods.
Bit of French in this one too for you since you liked Psycho Killer, haha: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9QqkcDRYFw
Glad you enjoy too! Rock on bro.
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-21-2025
Sure, I've been a Megeadeth-head for quite some time.
I actually have two songs I've had on repeat every now and again in recent times, "I'll Get Even" from Cryptic Writings (because some women be b****es
) and "Washington is Next!" from United Abominations, because... erm, politics are not welcome here, so I won't go into it. 
I'll Get Even:
"I'm like a bomb that's ticking, I got voices in my head
I got a doll with needles and wishing you were dead
I'll get you back somehow, that's what I'm gonna do
I'll get you back somehow, your nightmare coming true
It's coming true
I'll get even with you"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lN1H4JnS5s
Keep on rockin' (in the free world)!
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-21-2025
OSC + DRS v2 Day 43
I think I've gotten most of the HULK SMASH anger out of my system - most of it, I think! Hopefully. I've got stuff to do and I need to be able to focus on it, lewl.
Singing practice went fairly well today, I was feeling less frustrated to boot. I did go at it for over an hour (while lately I've been doing 30-40 minutes per) because I got so engrossed in it. I had to make myself stop in order not to overtrain.
I've been dreaming heavily about erotic situations with my lady analyst these past two days, lewl. Let's chalk it up to transference, shall we?
(She's a fine woman, though).
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-22-2025
OSC keeps digging at making me more self-confident in areas where I could use some, like f. in. confidence in my sexual prowess (which is spectacular, I just lost a lot of confidence in it due to my psycho ex's abuse). I can feel it kicking in whenever I'm in a situation or read something that would remind me of, f. in., situations in which I wouldn't get hard on my psycho ex's demand (it's not even actual ED, not really. It's interesting to read what Freud had to say on cases of "male impotence" in his psychoanalytic work, like f. in. here: http://math.msgsu.edu.tr/~dpierce/Texts/Freud/freud_debasement.pdf) I can feel an internal struggle between the trained helplessness and the re-newed sense of self-confidence taking place.
Got a social gathering today, a lengthy one. Let's see what fun stuff happens!
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-22-2025
As per usual, let's have a song about the above. Halestorm - I Come First
"I'm not your victim, I'm not your prey
I may be good at bad things but I'm not yours to shame
You're never gonna get it with the games you play
A little respect goes a long, long way
I'm gonna make you wait like you made me
So how does it taste?
'Cause I come first
Yeah, I'm worth it, yeah, I'm worth it
I come first
Go on and work it, go on and work it"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrdQ-wHdlSY \m/ (I totally have a crush on Lizzy
)
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-22-2025
So the social gathering was fun (and very lengthy, TBH, but my "social battery" lasted out the entire time, so that's nice); one funny situation was when this girl I find kinda pretty fumbled with her backpack and condoms started falling out of it, lol. She took it in stride, but it does imply she's ready for action whenever. :wink: :wink:
I've been thinking I'd love to run OGSF v3 but that's mostly in order to make running further 6G programs more pleasant in the long run, because as OSC goes lately when it touches upon something unpleasant it is able to power through, but, as mentioned above, this takes mental effort and messes up my eudaimonia, lol. Trouble is, I really, really, really do not want to stop DRSing because it's improving my quality of life so much.
The perfect solution would be a three-month long, like, sanatorium visit for the express purpose of OGSFing in a proverbial safe space, heh, but who has the money and time for that? I bet some people do, but I am not one of them.
RE: 6G bonanza journalings and random musings (Currently: OSC + DRS)) - Have at ye - 03-22-2025
Okay, tell ya what, change of plans: I just purchased OGSF v3 and am running it after OSC, as I had planned initially.
I might break some instructions here and there and use the DRS v2 incidentally, if I notice too many attack symptoms, but otherwise OGSF v3 is next. Sorry, guys, the science of X4A-1600 shall have to wait three more months!