(11-12-2018, 01:15 PM)Paul1131 Wrote:

(11-12-2018, 11:01 AM)Shannon Wrote: Obsessive behaviors also can be rooted in fear. In some personality types, the FRM will take longer to achieve its goals. It's design is such that it should be impossible to stop or resist completely and permanently, so eventually ALL of you should be affected by it, regardless of how strong their will is, how proud they are that they can "beat me" by resisting, or whatever other silly nonsense there is fueling the resistance on top of fear.

What we see here looks to me like your wife is responding with fear to the fear removal process, which would be normal for an emotional core type. The subtype you describe sees security in things, and apparently in her case, food. The more they have, the less insecure they feel about "what if we run out and can't get any more food?" type imaginary scenarios. I'm familiar with that, as my mother was like that and she had me doing it too for a while. But it sounds like it's a kind of hoarding behavior, and that is based in fear.

Hoarders are supposed to be among the most difficult of people to help. It would make sense, then that she would be responding more slowly and with more hoarding as she sees things (including you) change. Over time, if she is exposed for long enough, FRM will remove the fears that cause that behavior. This design is such that as long as you get enough exposure, it will work.

At least that's my take on what she's doing based on what I can see.

Part of the problem may be that she is only being exposed to the program two nights a week on my nights off. I work nights, she works days. In order for her to run it properly, I would have to put a copy on one of her devices, and I think Ben told me that that would cause problems with your anti piracy programming. Is that correct and is there any way around that? Oh, yeah, and I’d have to convince her to run it properly.

Quote:Wait, beat you? Why would someone pay over a hundred bucks for a sub, run it, then deliberately not go along with it? Seems like an awe full waste of time and money.

(11-13-2018, 12:25 AM)Paul1131 Wrote: I’m actually feeling the sub this evening. I’m getting those light surges of dizziness while it runs, usually they coincide with the barely heard voices. I usually don’t get that anymore, but it’s nice occasionally because it lets me know it’s still busy forming those neural connections.
I gave myself a break today. Yesterday when I was working so hard, I realized that I’d been driving myself really hard for the past several weeks, and that the world wouldn’t end if I didn’t worry about the to do list or anything like that for one day. All I got done today was to cook everyone a nice dinner and get on my way to work. Tomorrow, I’m back on it.
After I got dressed for work, I got downstairs only to be berated by my wife for leaving one of the “good” steak knives in the sink. This confused me a bit because I hadn’t done that, but she went on and on until our roommate said that she had done it. Roomie was annoyed and told Wife that not everything was my fault.
I realized that for the past few weeks, she’s found something small like that to go off on me in a big way for at about the same time every night. And this is nothing new.
The wife has been very critical of me since long before we were married. It’s gotten better and worse through the years, but it’s been a fairly constant thing. Last year when she moved in, Roommate told me that it was at the level of psychological abuse. I did used to get angry and fight back, but it did no good, so I don’t anymore.
It got real bad last year when I was in OJT for the job I really wanted, and the time before that too. It seems to get worse when other things are starting to go well for me. I partially blame the additional stress for my failing at those jobs. She does seem to be having difficulty dealing with the new me that is emerging. I can take it, but at the moment it’s upsetting our roommate and our son. She got some meds because we were thinking it was the result of MS related depression, and that made it a bet better for a while, but now it’s coming back. Not sure where this is going to go, but I don’t deserve to be treated like this and kiddo doesn’t deserve to be exposed to it.

(11-13-2018, 12:31 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: I actually remember having a dream this morning. There was was a raccoon that I thought was rabid. It actually looked all rotted and mutated. It bit me, and that should have scared me, but I just kind of thought “oh, well I guess I’ve got to go get a shot now.”
No flipping clue what that means, if anything.

(11-15-2018, 05:13 AM)Shannon Wrote: When I am driving and showering, I find that my mind wanders to things I don't usually get. It is when I have my best "Aha!" moments for figuring out how to solve problems for whatever I am working on with subliminals. It's because during those times, my conscious mind is pre-occupied with something else, I think. Maybe this is true for you as well, and reveals more of what your subconscious is thinking?

(11-17-2018, 11:00 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: We had a sort of marriage counseling session today with a lady who is a trained counselor, and needs some hours in that type of counseling for some licensing thing. She’s a friend of a friend, and is helping us out for the hours and breakfasts at the diner we meet at. I think it was very productive. Hmmm, come to think of it, finding her was quite a stroke of luck. This thing seems to give me the luck on the important things. I haven’t really noticed the small random stuff that some have.
We discussed purchasing another copy of USLM so that she could be fully on it herself. I told her about the anti piracy thing. She didn’t seem to get it, and eventually said that she didn’t want to spend the extra money so she declined to go on it. I am continuing this journey on my own. Ok, that’s her choice.
By the way Shannon, is there any way you would modify the anti piracy statements in future programs so that it is ok to share it with family members who live in the same home? I can’t be the only one who doesn’t have the same schedule as their spouse. If we did, she’d be exposed as I listened anyway. I think it would be great if we could run the new LTU , but I am not going to pay five hundred plus dollars twice. No disrespect intended and I won’t mention it again, but I think being able to share it with someone who I’d normally share sleeping space with is reasonable. Please understand I am requesting, not trying to demand, and doing so with respect.