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+--- Thread: ASC 5g journal (/Thread-ASC-5g-journal)
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-22-2016
day 76 ( 20 days remain ? )
Looking in the mirror I have an sexy and attractive edge to me. Itys mostly reflecting in my eyes and presence. Im confident but when looking at some situations i notice there is GSF involved in it, which causes some thoughts pop up in my head and some tension in my body. ASC is an great sub but am considering biting the bullet for the multistage.
I catch myself saying an thinking that women have to meet MY standards.
Im pretty confused mostly and fed up currently. I just dont know.
Otherwise I still have an sense that by running the sub as it currently does will eventually break through again. Its really easy to still fall into some negative spiral while, when thinking I am confident i seem to sudden bring me in an uprising state.
+ I notice i can walk away easier, like, i dont really care at all right now
+ before the struggle over approaching is an matter of frame/mindset and state
+ I experience what seems to be resistance as there are results and changes right under my nose, I feel somewhat retreating and an pullback towards inner state. resistamce causing stuff to be "covered up", makes me aware of the agressive nature of this sub aswell.
+ I feel different, more mature, more sexy and attractive and notice the lesser i care, the more fluid i become. an surrendering and overcoming of resistance.
Im pretty sure there are other changes happening aswell, from which i am not aware but have an vague sense of, I notice but cannot place. I just leave it. Its simply this. No idea where I will go from now or where the sub will lead to, the stuff with women also seems to become empathized and an more agressive approach towards it, seems to work at it aswell. Im feeling very confident in my writing. The possibilities are limitless.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-23-2016
day 77 ( 19 days remain )
Currently listening to the trickling stream and feeling very confident. yesterday i somewhat shifted in my being and it showed that i was dealing with resistance all along. I feeling grounded and centered.
since the shift happened my eye contact went solid, automatically. Direct making eye contact amkes many people turn away or go submissive. I have no second thoughts to it. It just happens. When noticing I dont make full on eye contact people seem to be more responsive, an d I notice this out of the corner of my eyes.
Socially I also become way more calm, smoother and less tension to it. Many thoughts of frame and "creating an moment"through dominance aswell as comfort makes it all natural. there are no strangers. Its just friendly and people acknowledge my status.
Im feeling more cenetered aswell. I can walk easily away from people and dismiss girls instead of sticking to them. Just walk away without any pressure whatsoever. I keep having thoughts of "im feeling realy confident". I want an change in carreer. Im reading some stuff from Christian Mcqueen and millionaire stuff and the multiple income sources, social connections, business operation definitely resonates with me. Very powerfull stuff. Health, wealth, woman basically. Its inspirational just to think about it.
One woman at work made long eye contact with me. Another asked me if she could go to the store qas how she was dressed. I still notice some tension at times. Also make me think and shifted me into "she has to dress this and that and I decide" Not out of some beta controlling desperation kind of thing, but more from an alpha stance. Thats why i love Dzemoo's journal. It resonates deeply. Yesterday was all about changes basically, being totally solid when around people and just being in the moment, no fears or anxieties, no need to "fit in", they rather gravitate to me. It was like some sort of vibe/aura kind of thing, an sort of shield, but not one out of fear.
Im also getting aware of the depth and level of nediness I carried all along. Not going to entertain that but it was lots.
I now feel very confident, its running all smooth. My laving of caring has lowered, and the IDGAF has been raised. Its more calm aswell.
I look at woman bodies differently and involve the eye contact. No shame ( there is tho ) but more from an seduction kind of place, instead of needy betaness. Its way more deep and complex. more mature.
Thought about bonding, direct and openly sexual and I know it. The "I know"transferance is an powerfull one" I feel different, like having tools and all of that, yet seem to shift to an more "part of my being"kind of thing. seduce. My eyelids seem more relaxed, my gaze, aswell as I notice lately. Its almost like some pressure on the eyes, like the sub changes facial expressions. makes sense. It also make me let go and let the sub sub do its thing.
The sub cuts through shitttests and many layers, more penetrating, unfazed because of confidence.
At times feeling more agressive, "negative", raw. ( negative for the lack of an better word, but whatever, wordgames )
I realize aswell shame. I cant stand it in others and am all for embracing and releasing this stuff, and get slightly annoyed when I see it in others, being shamed by women.
How girls disqualify themselves autmatically from high status males males sense as well and might have that happened. I have an sense that this has happened more then once. triggered me in abundance. Abundance as in "there are countless girls, and i am attractive due my purpose and centredness, irresitable"on some level, Its more of an "it just is"kind of thing.
Time management, business running, investment, it all resonates deeply and is my way to go. Im going to expand my contacts and delve deeper in this. Im working from an top model, as dominance and topdog comes natural to me. Not from some state of false arrogance, but more from my nature in this. Expanding my circle, contacts and knowledge.
How I see myself in ten years. It all has taken an 180 degrees.
I notice approval seeking in subtle ways. Give value, not being automatically responding like some subservient kind of person. laughing and what not seems to be an defense mechanism, like showing the person you listened just to not having to face backlash. This can be dealt with easily.
Spike reaction through touch. Expose yourself until you realize. I see myself with multiple women. The deeper eye contact is like an "hidden" network so to say. All seems somewhat equal, eye contact with girls conveying some status, it all goes deeper. im sometimes dont even realize i lock eyes anymore. It wanders and locks. people turn heads.
Sometimes I feel going faster, or atkleast some developments seem so, Its as if being placed in the asc seat.
Shifting more to an "doing it for myself" kind of frame in terms of running the sub. shifting from future, to now in terms of confidence. embrace it. In terms of of alphaness. opens an new field.
Currently starting reading "no more mr nice guy". Preservance of ones feelings through external validation seeking sets one up for failure. Its insanity to be treatened nice all the time.
Edit: From my experience with girls many seem to have daddy issues. Its classica push pull aswell in an way and for some reason this goes deep. My former realisations/beliefs are replaced by new ones, and eventually those are again crossed. The one girl at work back then seemed to be very immature and the such, yet not different from others ( my mind seems to put her directly into place ) , almost narcissistic princess and I am developing something, Im still not attached to it at all and couldnt care less and she is just one out of several million girls ( false mindset to go from her and then raise anxiety ) but this daddy complex realisation and being the alpha made something click. In the end I envision pure confidence, not some endgoal in an static frozen way, but just asc. Time to relax and let go and sink in.
I can connect and talk with anyone just fine.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-23-2016
day 78 ( 18 days remain )
Thoughts of manhandling seem to increase, its getting more dominant and alpha. responses to bullshit are pretty much met with an harsh shift inside. It feels great. Its lan further dissolving of the nice guy stndrome. The batman archetype and image resonates strongly aswell.
the domination thing is almost like being an handler in some way. the girl being submissive and what not. I know it might pass aswell, and these are changes along the process and sub running.
Im having some sort of glow over me, my eyes are very bright and have something extra to it now. The green in it seem to come out more aswell, or atleast, its all more clear. I did freak me out a bit. The sub is ruthless in that, merciless in its breaking through. I felt very confused and had pass out feelings because of that.
At work there was an new woman, older woman, my eyes directly locked with hers and the IOIs where instantly there from her side. I dismissed her eventually without giving it any thought. suprised me a bit. Hips turn me on and lock me directly into sexual state. Its like an trance, hypnosis almost, an shift, moment. placing herself next to me, showing hip, playing with her hair, dangling feet, the drill. Yet i experienced aswell as how strong attraction can be, an absolute certain and pull, not thinking just go. An otherworldly moment almost. yesterday this pull was at its strongest I have experienced up to date, which startled me a bit, its like eyes lock and cannot let go. Being stuck in the moment lol. Before i would be somehow suprised by attraction, head turns and the such, but now my mind directly goes along with it, accepting this new reality.
Im feeling incredibly confident, its off the charts, its brutal, all is focussed on overcoming new obstacles and almost an sort of excitement, but feeling so natural and free. unsure if it has to do with the couple of seconds running AM 6.0 on accident with setting it over to my Phone, but I feel amazing in every damn way. Im of the charts and all I do is met with confidence and this awesome electrifying sense. My thoughts are rolling, my mind is on fire.
Social media and forums are that, social media and forums. Nothing more then that. using them for your advantage instead of letting it use you and chip away time. Hold time valuable. Deeper pull towards masculinity and an shedding of feminist toxity. Embracy masculinity. Be self governing.
Did read more material from Christian Mcqueen and it is very inspirational.
Things like failure dont exist in an abundant mindset. they plays an non existent role in my life and mind. I still have moment fears and avoidance come up tho, which is an old habit coming from GSF. Im getting more and more aware how this doesnt match up with confidence and how this even will not benefit at all and only stems from lack of confidence. Its pretty much an beta trait. Its dishonest and self sabotaging.
feeling insanely driven, fears are dealt with, hesitation is dealt with. will join an gym as i feel like doing so as an way of self-development ( having around 6 year history in bodybuilding and strength training ) It all rolling and smooth. feel the need to process.
Its no longer an matter of "its outside my reality "its more of an "when will it click" and pull towards that. To already have it here in an way. to manifest it later, which makes me realize that the sub has some manifestation like qualities while I am the centre so to say. Not truly manifestation, maybe pseudo manifestation, but more of an allignment.
Im processing right now and feel automatic. Also somewhat aware about 5G and how it running one sub at a time is maximum to run.
RE: ASC 5g journal - Kol - 02-24-2016
day 79
Bitten the bullet and now Im running AM 6.0. One of my initial fears was one of judgment which seems to be an red thread in some way through my life in the past. Some fears in switching subs. AM 6.0 waves feel heavier in terms of input already. Im feeling calm and great.
- have started brain warm up in the morning by counting backwards from 100 to 0.
- having more close to nature kind of stuff, like wqalking barefoot through nature.
- improving health routine including supplements
- noticing an less hesitation already
- will go back into strength training
Going to start an new thread. Just going with it.