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+--- Thread: DMSI Journey (/Thread-DMSI-Journey)
RE: DMSI Journey - chaosvrgn - 10-04-2016
Just read your post on DeadBedrooms, Shanghai. Sending you positive energies. Stay strong. When I decided to do this (on a much smaller scale, I just moved out when she was at work), she suddenly became Miss Perfect. Lots of promises of more sex (and I admit, I faltered a few times and did it), became much more pleasant.
But... when I'm done with someone, I'm done.
RE: DMSI Journey - Blink - 10-04-2016
(10-04-2016, 07:10 AM)ShanghaiKiwi Wrote:(10-04-2016, 05:59 AM)bits Wrote: Good for you for getting away from here ShanghaiKiwi, I can only imagine how bad it got if you have to secretly flee the country in order to escape.
Thanks guys I appreciate the support. Yeah she holds all the money, won't let me do stuff like going to the pub or watch movies etc. The only way I could get to Shanghai to catch a plane was to suggest we move house there, I wasn't able to just go on my own because she runs everything. All packed, we leave tomorrow.
Kicked me out of the house once in the rain for playing computer games so I had to sleep at the neighbors house, knocking on their door at midnight all soaked. Worried she might do something like that if she caught me planning my escape, but it would be much more difficult in China. You can read about my escape plan here if you want:
https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/55hvu7/getaway_update/?st=ITVM1E2Q&sh=d1d0e401
She's one psycho crazy lady. I'm done. I'm going to try and get some cash to leave earlier and spend some time in a motel before my flight so I can bed some random Chinese chicks before the day I get on the plane. See what real sex feels like. Seriously no love left for this woman, I want to make up for lost time.
It hurts to even read this stuff...
You're stepping up tho, which is amazing. Wish you good luck with your plan and what follows!!
RE: DMSI Journey - RoaringLion - 10-04-2016
The other post on there where you mention losing attraction for her because of her rejecting you so many times felt like i was reading something i wrote myself. I guess if she knew what she was doing everytime she pushed me away she wouldn't have done it, but probably too late for her now.
RE: DMSI Journey - Shannon - 10-04-2016
(10-04-2016, 02:23 PM)RoaringLion Wrote: The other post on there where you mention losing attraction for her because of her rejecting you so many times felt like i was reading something i wrote myself. I guess if she knew what she was doing everytime she pushed me away she wouldn't have done it, but probably too late for her now.
Whether or not she knew, don't you think if she cared it would have mattered a lot more? If all she wants in the relationship is to satisfy her own needs and wants, she's going to be too selfish and self absorbed to care about yours... which is why she rejects you.
At which point you have to conclude that your presence is only valuable to her for some reason other than sex, and if sex is a normal part of a healthy relationship (which it is in cases like this) then that relationship is doomed because she doesn't care.
Let her have her shopping. Move on and find what makes you happy.
RE: DMSI Journey - ShanghaiKiwi - 10-04-2016
(10-04-2016, 12:18 PM)chaosvrgn Wrote: Just read your post on DeadBedrooms, Shanghai. Sending you positive energies. Stay strong.
Cheers mate. It's really helpful having so many people cheer me on. I'm pumped and excited. Going to Shanghai in a few hours, if I can get my hands on enough cash for a few extra days at the motel I'll leave her tomorrow instead of waiting for the 8th. Can't wait to be free and start hitting on other women!
RE: DMSI Journey - ShanghaiKiwi - 10-04-2016
(10-04-2016, 02:23 PM)RoaringLion Wrote: The other post on there where you mention losing attraction for her because of her rejecting you so many times felt like i was reading something i wrote myself. I guess if she knew what she was doing everytime she pushed me away she wouldn't have done it, but probably too late for her now.
Oh you read that? This one right? Cool.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/519lts/on_the_brink_of_leaving/?st=ITWDKXUU&sh=4715a73a
Yeah. Whenever I try to touch her affectionately or hug her or something she habitually swats my hands away like a fly. Sexually I am just a pest, and giving me HJs (or letting me fondle her while I do it myself rather) is something she has to do every now and again to make sure the pestilence problem doesn't get too bad.
RE: DMSI Journey - RoaringLion - 10-04-2016
Yeah it is like mine is scared of being shown affection. If i hug her or cuddle with her she will push me away within 1 or 2 seconds and say "oh i forgot...". Touching her body anywhere other than nipples or clitoris seems to do nothing. I feel like I'm touching a robot most of the time.
I talked to her about it and she made an effort to be more affectionate towards me and even made an effort to have more sex, but it is abit too late now, I'm already bored, plus i feel like I'm a just 1 level above a dog to her, just here to keep her company, make her cum when she wants to. I love doggy style and she complains about me being too big when i do it when in my opinion I'm not really.
Sounds like I'm in a better situation than you because my wife actually has sex with me sometimes but just once per week or so. Often she has some kind of excuse though. Not only this but she has no patience at all and is way too worried about us being clean so we can't have spontaneous sex, everything has to be planned and usually she will only do it at night when she is in bed or in the morning when we're both in bed together.
One time i got her to buy some sexy outfits online, she said "ok if you buy them" so they came and she went crazy about it, telling me I'm a pervert and she won't wear them, just lingerie and a fishnet body stocking that looked hot in the girl in the picture. Finally got her to wear what i bought after arguments.
Anyway, I'm still here because i want other Chinese girls and i get easy access to a visa this way. Now i don't really feel like having sex with her so i rarely initiate and i find other girls who do want to.
Now i will stay until i make the contacts and a higher paying job i need to be able to stay here myself. Until then i play with other girls. I don't like this and before i came i never thought i would cheat but after being shouted at so much by her so much and having a lack of affection i don't care.
She hates me going to clubs alone, especially after she came with me one time and found out i added a girl i like to Wechat and another hot girl came to me and said i have beautiful eyes, then said she wants to find someone like me to my girl.
I plan to use my time here to learn Chinese and meet many beautiful girls. So i have to put up with this as long as i can for now. Not exactly an Alpha situation, but I've got to build myself up into a better position strategically since i don't want to leave yet.
RE: DMSI Journey - Shannon - 10-04-2016
My uncle married a Chinese woman he flew to China to meet, and married her within 24 hours. Within 36 hours, she was pregnant, and he was 54 at the time. They did not speak a word of each other's language for over a year. He was there for 3 or 4 years teaching English, and when they returned, she was incomprehensible speaking English, and all he could say in Chinese was "Beer" and "Thank you". Since she got pregnant on their wedding night, she hasn't touched him, and refuses his every advance. They have a 10 year old son now.
They tried to set me up with her sister and some of the Chinese women he met, but as far as I can tell, Chinese women are all about the Benjamins and nothing else. There is no affection, and no interest in the man. He is there to be a provider an that's all. This is virtually every Chinese woman I have ever met so far.
Well sorry, but I need love and affection from my female. I need to be touched lovingly, and I need frequent and regular sex. I also need freedom, and none of that seems to fit with a Chinese woman. My uncle doesn't understand why I haven't married one. Why would I want that? That fills none of my needs. And don't even get me started on how insane marriage is for men these days...
I don't care how good looking a woman is, if she doesn't fit and fulfill what you need, you have no business being with her.
RE: DMSI Journey - RoaringLion - 10-04-2016
This is my experience with most Chinese women so far, but i have met some that aren't like that though. Even my girl doesn't care too much about money, just she has a strong lack of affection and anger issues that i can't take. I have a friend here who has a Chinese wife and he is also unhappy with her. Mostly her lack of sex drive, lack of affection and some cultural differences.
I wouldn't recommend marrying a Chinese girl to anyone, but there are always exceptions. Mine ignores me sexually but other girls want me, i can't say no to that when I'm not getting my needs met from her.
I wonder how the cultural differences and maybe even racial differences affect DMSI. It seems many Chinese people including men have a lower sex drive than people in the west. Many of the girls here want to get married and give sex next to no importance. Just yesterday i mentioned sex to a Chinese girl who I've been talking to for a long time (didn't talk for a year though) and she said "don't say it". She didn't want to talk about sex even though i was just giving her one of my reasons for losing attraction for my girl.
She complained she can't find a boyfriend and now i can see why. She has an attractive face and an amazing body.
To test DMSI i have to find DTF girls, maybe this is why i was being completely ignored by most people on 2.3. One DTF girl stopped paying me attention and started getting angry at me. When 2.4 came out she turned normal again and contacted me recently for a booty call. I'll have to go to more clubs but my girl hates it and we live together so i wait until she goes out to gamble all night.
RE: DMSI Journey - Shannon - 10-05-2016
I get the impression that Chinese culture is largely responsible for this, especially when mixed with certain religious beliefs. They seem to shun sex almost entirely as being bad, and it appears to come out in such a way that even touching is frowned upon. The other day my Chinese aunt, who is 2 years older than me, was trying out my hover board in the grass at the request of her son. She was very unsteady, and so I was lightly holding her waist to keep her steady, but she pushed my hands away. Seriously, is touch that terrible? I think that culture is terrified of what other people might think and far too preoccupied with "what is socially acceptable". Maybe I'm wrong, but we shall see.
RE: DMSI Journey - ShanghaiKiwi - 10-08-2016
Update for those interested:
https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/comments/56kknn/the_canary_is_out_of_the_cage/?st=IU27TRNC&sh=15df0e8d
I'm a single man now. Had a date last night, it was fun but ended early (8:30pm) in the friend zone. Mostly because of language barrier. I kissed her hair and flirted a bit but it got awkward when we ran out of things to talk about.
I was cheating a little bit, I had Poetry of the Silent Eros #1 playing silently on my phone in my pocket during the date. That's just sex noise, no English right? She can't speak a word of English. Also that shouldn't mess with DMSI right? Since there's no words.
Reminds me, I was so drunk when I got home last night I forgot to play DMSI (went clubbing after the date, free drinks all night because they wanted me to get laid after I told them my story). That's the first time I forgot.
Flying home in a few hours, just chilling in the motel lobby enjoying the wifi.
(10-05-2016, 09:56 AM)Shannon Wrote: I get the impression that Chinese culture is largely responsible for this, especially when mixed with certain religious beliefs.
Absolutely, I'll testify to that.
(10-04-2016, 11:56 PM)RoaringLion Wrote: Many of the girls here want to get married and give sex next to no importance.
It's funny the polar extremes here, Chinese single women also have a reputation for being easy, especially with foreigners. Big population gives a wide range I suppose.
I was trying to get some of that before I left but was unsuccessful. Nevermind, just warming up!
RE: DMSI Journey - JackOfHearts - 10-08-2016
(10-05-2016, 09:56 AM)Shannon Wrote: I get the impression that Chinese culture is largely responsible for this, especially when mixed with certain religious beliefs. They seem to shun sex almost entirely as being bad, and it appears to come out in such a way that even touching is frowned upon. The other day my Chinese aunt, who is 2 years older than me, was trying out my hover board in the grass at the request of her son. She was very unsteady, and so I was lightly holding her waist to keep her steady, but she pushed my hands away. Seriously, is touch that terrible? I think that culture is terrified of what other people might think and far too preoccupied with "what is socially acceptable". Maybe I'm wrong, but we shall see.
I watched a documentary on China sexual revolution (youtube) recently it was mind blowing. I never understood why Chinese were so reserved before now I do. They lived through hell during the 60 when sexual repression was at it's highest, they were shamed if they showed any emotion.
But recently the Chinese government opened the Pandora box and the Chinese youth is rediscovering what sex is. This create a lot of differences between the old and new generation.
But the young generation seems still completely lost with sexuality. They are also copying what westerner do.
RE: DMSI Journey - ShanghaiKiwi - 10-09-2016
(10-08-2016, 11:12 PM)Alpha360 Wrote: I watched a documentary on China sexual revolution (youtube) recently...
Wow that sounds fascinating. Do you still have the link?
RE: DMSI Journey - JackOfHearts - 10-09-2016
Type ""sexual revolution china" and you will probably find it. It is really fascinating to see Chinese people behaving like american buying a dildo.
edit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMzpQYOvJY