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+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: AM6 Round 2 (/Thread-AM6-Round-2)
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Darwinn - 01-20-2015
Not really. I've done am6 once before. If my judgment is that my time is better spent now doing somthing else before starting it again then that's the right judgment. Pushing though a desire to quit is something i do all the time and enjoy.
Still, I appreciate the sentiment behind your comment.
That aside. As I said I was considering stopping. I've decided to continue to the end now. In privately journalling and in posting here it did occur to me that this sense of overwhelm was untennable, and it was necessary to just start saying no to a lot of things. I've simplified my life and my goals drastically, cutting out options open to me which might yield positive results but none the less can wait for anothe time.
I am calling people out now on BS behaviour. close friends, associates, and colleagues at work, most importantly myself. One of the things that happened in the last months that i didn't report is that i was, you might say somewhat magically, put in front of of a few alphas who really called me out on a lot. Frankly it was painful and humiliating, but very instructive. The lessons of those days are still coming out as i journal myself privately now that the haze of the prescription medications has gone a little.
RE: AM6 Round 2 - SurferJoy - 01-21-2015
Well, I can only wish you luck , success and the greatest recovery.
Consider also this, often our physical or emotional pains are caused not by the experience that is going on in our body but by the resistance to that experience.
I have been suffering from chronic migraine and intense back pains for years, it hasn't stopped me to accomplish anything.
I learned to rest through intense pain and to release it. A good start, if you wish to explore releasing your pains would be Les Fehmis book
"Dissolving Pain: Simple Brain-Training Exercises for Overcoming Chronic Pain"
Good luck!
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Darwinn - 01-21-2015
Thanks for the tip - I haven't looked at Les fehmi for a while, might give it another shot!
Waking up to reality sure is painful but refreshing at the same time, like jumping into an ice pool.
Painful jolts are horribly unsettling but have to be if they're going to serve their purpose.
There's these two nasty passive aggressive Young guys at work who've been making snide comments about me this last week. I've been slow and looking like shit because of the drugs come down and what that's done to my motivation, routine and energy levels. Today was particularly bad and I was furious, but unable to do something.
That fire though, I need it to propel me so a sick part of me welcomed the pain of it. I can't respond in this environment in any other way but to laugh it off, I don't have the wit right now to do so another way, though I would love to crack this guy in his smug face I can't do that either.
Anyway. As I said. Without that I wouldn't be at home now after a work out about to settle down for meditation, Making sure I keep water by my bed so I hydrate and get my system going right as soon as I wake up, and relishing (and being quite desperate) for the moment where I've secured my independence from this bullshit.
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Darwinn - 01-25-2015
Ah it's good to be gettin no back my humour again, went out last night and just sat around with the guys cracking jokes and laughing.
Concentration is very off at the moment though. Sitting down to do any work I need to is torturous, just end up on facebook or checking my phone. Re red the power of now and it's helping me to just be there with the frustration of the work that pushes me to distract myself, to witness and not judge and go back - but the presence power is a little weak at the moment. With time it will become stronger.
Again I seem to see the positive. That this situation has brought be back to practicing presence, eliminating ego. Last weekend I had such a ridiculous string of unfortunate events that it was laughable, but it seemed to me to not be so bad given that it had removed my worries of less significant things.
That's all for now
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Darwinn - 01-25-2015
A day of 'practicing the power of now'
Or at least trying to. Working on things that pull up massive amounts of resistance. Slowly slowly the presence is growing and my ability to observe the energy of frustration without it pushing me off task is growing.
The sharpness of my mind hasn't returned. Still feeling dull. Every now and then the temptation to grab some adhd pills crops up but I just remember that the costs far outweigh the benefits.
Also went back to the gym for the first time in a month and a half today - trainer gave me a big hug! Commented on how I'd put on a bit of weight but that he admired me for taking these knocks and coming back.
I must be around about 20 days into stage 5, and the question arises about what I do next. I might just do the refresher stage for two months before moving to base. Not sure yet.
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Darwinn - 01-28-2015
And depression strikes.
I suppose it's natural to have a low period after a period of intensity. Taking heart in Shannon's description of cycles. It's makes a lot of sense, but I know part of this at least is self imposed.
Couldn't get out of bed this morning for work. Nevertheless every day I've been resolved on doing somthing that scared me and today will be no different. Small things, sending an opinion around to my bosses on an email chain where I would have been silent. Critiquing some work my manager did. Down to refusing to do anything the other evening but relax - I'm deliberately taking action in going against the fearful voice that constantly panics about tomorrow, cries about yesterday and would have me thrown off a cliff.
It takes a lot of courage I realise to resolve on doing one thing at a time. Over extension, rushing, tends to come from fear, and only leads to a dead end anyway.
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Shannon - 01-28-2015
I have been through the medical community's pill prescription cycle and I can tell you that in my opinion, they have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to prescribing things that affect the brain. They're guessing more than they're doing anything else, and their patients are suffering. All the while they justify ignoring "DO NO HARM" and making money with "It might help!" This is what I have seen time and again from doctors, well meaning or otherwise, and I have experienced it personally with antidepressants that I was prescribed for a few years.
Did the antidepressants help me? Sure. Probably kept me alive long enough to figure out how to fix my depression myself. But it wasn't without a huge cost to me in other ways. When I switched doctors, he started playing with the dose. It got crazy, and eventually I just stopped taking them and did my own thing. At no time did anyone try to understand WHY I was depressed, or what was CAUSING it. But they were glad to listen (for five minutes) to my answers to their questions of what was happening and then throw pills at me.
I am going to ask you... when was ADD and ADHD "discovered"? When you find the answer to that, consider what that means about it. There was no ADD and ADHD back when our parents and grandparents were kids. Hell, it didn't even exist when I was a kid. I'd be willing to bet that it is the result of what's changed since those days: the overuse of multimedia devices that put your brain into Theta, and train it to stay there. Computers, smart phones, TVs, video games, and movies.
If my theory is correct, then the answer is not pills, it's training your brain back to Beta, where you have the ability to focus and concentrate. That is very easily accomplished by using a Beta BWE program for 30 minutes, twice a day, or depending on how bad your ADD/ADHD is or how much you must/choose to use these probably causative media, perhaps more.
Go get a copy of the basic BWE exploration kit we have in the store and see what happens when you try this for a month. Use the Beta program for 30 minutes about an hour after you wake up, and 30 minutes around when you have lunch. It may require more time, but you can determine that if this idea helps. Avoid exposure after the lunch time because it may affect your sleep schedule otherwise.
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Darwinn - 01-28-2015
Thanks Shannon, I'll try just that.
RE: AM6 Round 2 - enoch - 01-28-2015
Hi Shannon, can the Beta BWE program be used even when you are doing a six stage sub? Not at the same time, I mean taking a rest from six stage sub for 30 mins and use this.
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Shannon - 01-28-2015
Yes. It's brainwave entrainment, it has no script, and therefore can be used with any subliminal.
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Darwinn - 02-06-2015
Here at the end of stage 5 I have to say I haven't felt this way before.
Thinks are not magically going well now. nor do i expect them to. In fact they're oscilating between tragic, ok, painful and shameful. I don't think it matters all that much though. Everything appears to me to be like the weather, so i don't place too much stock in any particular event, whether it's positive or negative.
I'm kind of seeing a woman who seems to be really into me. A few of my friends are complementing me and 'bigging me up', a few people have gone out of their ways to be kind to me , in ways which are clearly out ofthe ordinary. I had someone call me up the other day and offer me a huge amount of money to invest in something i'm doing for instance.
On the other side I'm getting attacked and dismissed by people. I don't even think its something out of the ordinary, its something that has always been there but i'm unaffected by it enough now and (potentially) more resillient so i can face it better.
Even in myself, i don't place huge faith in my own consistency. i'm weary of the fact that i to fluctuate depending on how things are, and i have to surf my moods. Working with life seems a bit like working with the sea - it's a gargantuan beast which does it's own thing, and is mostly indifferent to you, but you can use it's temper and it's rythum to propel you forward - knowing that nothing is certain and all you can do is your best, it still has the capacity to destroy you regardless of your skill in sailing. (ironic that i understand things with all theses sea fairing analogies when i can't even swim
)
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Darwinn - 02-11-2015
Stage 6 day 4
I'm used to going through periods of immense exhaustion now - not really fighting it anymore. Never the less stage 6 is smoother Thankfully.
Seem to have, in a sense, given up on self improvement, it seems like a waste of time and none of the 'effort' I make seems to yield a return.
Now to make this confusing and contradictory, I can improve by giving up on improving - and am. Complete self acceptance, surrender, and 'giving up' , allowing things to flow instead of trying to control how they flow or where they go makes much more sense to me than anything else ( though I've tried to explain this to a friend or two and they had no idea what I'm saying - and think I've lost it.)
RE: AM6 Round 2 - MadTheReaper - 02-11-2015
(02-11-2015, 04:58 AM)Darwin Wrote: Stage 6 day 4
I'm used to going through periods of immense exhaustion now - not really fighting it anymore. Never the less stage 6 is smoother Thankfully.
Seem to have, in a sense, given up on self improvement, it seems like a waste of time and none of the 'effort' I make seems to yield a return.
Now to make this confusing and contradictory, I can improve by giving up on improving - and am. Complete self acceptance, surrender, and 'giving up' , allowing things to flow instead of trying to control how they flow or where they go makes much more sense to me than anything else ( though I've tried to explain this to a friend or two and they had no idea what I'm saying - and think I've lost it.)
I understand what you are saying, it is happening to me too. I've given up on reading books, watching videos etc. Everything I've learned for improvement has mostly become automatic. For example, I do exercise but do not think about it as self-improvement, It is just who I am and what I do.
Too much of a good thing can be bad. Too much theory can be disorientating.
RE: AM6 Round 2 - Darwinn - 02-14-2015
Apathy and sleepiness abound.
Still...Stage 6, seems to be leveling me out a bit. I'm more social, going out i love speaking with people again, and the women i interact with respond quite positively.
Same as last time though, with this stage, something happens to my motivation at work. it's like i just don't care about this office life, and almost refuse to engage properly with it, even though there is a tremendous amount of work for me to do.
I've given some thought to what i want to do next. Though i'd love to develop along the sex magnet path. frankly in terms of my personal values, thriving at work and in business is more important to me. so after i'm done I will either do LTU3.1 or the AM6 refresher for about 2-3 months and then jumo on to BASE to become unrelentingly focussed on my goals and motivated.
Theres little doubt that AM6 has impacts. i'm slow though, and i can tell with confidence that i need much more time in order for what it teaches to sink in properly.