(10-08-2022, 01:39 PM)rono Wrote: Hi Shannon,
Your thoughts are intriguing and I will attempt to do this, just not sure about how to figure out what 'part' of me is limiting and then how to actually engage it. Sounds kind of like self-hypnosis which I am, admittedly, not tremendous at. I know how to hypnotize others and I'm pretty good at it. I use hypnotic languaging (w/o trance) with myself all the time with more-or-less good success.
It is funny that you talk about part of me being fearful for a couple reasons: 1) I have a pretty good level of courage--that is, while I feel fear I still know how to walk into the dangerous situation in a relaxed and attentive manner (my job requires me to walk dark, inner-city streets in Los Angeles, for instance). I just do it, and trust that I'll be ok even if I'm not ok. 2) The main thing I was consciously fearful of was going off of the TRT and supportive herbal protocols. I've now been off of it now for about 2 months I guess. So it is tough to see what the nature of the fear might be.

I'll just try asking myself the question "what am I afraid of about letting the sub execute?" The first thing that comes to mind is "well, I don't know what it is saying to me--how can I completely let down my guard if I don't have the conscious ability to determine it is 'safe'. In response to this (which I have had since I began using your subs), I say to myself, let's see how it works and if we like the results we'll keep them, if not we can let go of any changes it makes. This is a sort of double-blind we use when hypnotizing people. We presume the person will like the changes, but they don't have to keep the results after trying them out. This normally frees the subject to open up.  So it is a little funny, if it is indeed the case as you suggest, that I'm resisting at some level even with my efforts to bypass the subconscious rejection.

It just occurred to me: I do have a hesitation to allow post-hypnotic triggers to be embedded. Could that be a thing?

If you think of anything else that might help, let me know--I'm always trying new things and I'm willing to learn!

Cheers,
RonO

Forgot to add:
* I just had my first migraine in over a year this week
* I also just had a bad case of heartburn (on an empty stomach) just now-- something that has never happened during the day when I'm up and about

The overall feeling is that I'm just not doing well anymore, and getting worse.

(10-13-2022, 12:01 PM)rono Wrote: Hi All, (10/13/2022)

So, this is not so fun right now... but there is a mix of good and bad news.

Just finished another full cycle with he 5 days on and 1 day off. Been on the sub for 2.5 months.

Good news:

• Mood is pretty good
  
• Mental clarity is pretty good
  
• Motivation is ok (could be a lot better) 
  
• Distraction isn't too bad, but it's not great
  
• Able to perform sexually
  
• Weight is staying constant - it had dropped and I was certain I was losing muscle mass, now I'm staying pat
  
• Resting heartrate is great
  
• Blood pressure is in the sweet spot, 
  

Bad news:

• low sex drive - I don't even think about sex unless it is 'time' and I have to -- so not like me in the past, just glad I can perform
  
• Strength is terrible -- for a couple weeks I was unmotivated to work out, BUT I still did. Early on, I was tearing up the gym and getting back to my pre-covid strength. Now my strength has dropped at least 20%
  
• Endurance is down
  
• Pain in my shoulders in spite of the fact I'm doing less exercise with less weights.
  
• Exercise is becoming a drag because of the decreased strength, endurance and pain... I'm wondering if I should take a break from even trying because I'm seeing the opposite of progress. It's not a plateau--I've seen these before, this is worse. I'm suddenly struggling to lift weights that I was able to lift easily right after my bout with covid.
  

I've tried the things Shannon suggested, talking to my subconscious and trying to get it to execute and it doesn't seem to be responding. 

This is starting to feel like a see-saw. I can have the beneficial sexual effects and strength OR I can choose mental clarity. 

@Shannon: I'm getting frustrated cause of the lack of positive change (and the negative changes in strength), so far I'm still trying, but I'm starting to wonder if I should try adding back in some parts of my doctor's longevity protocol.

What do you think about me going back on:

1. Peptides that encourage your body to boost Growth Hormone
   
2. Peptides that help induce deep sleep
   
3. Testosterone injections - could do a low-level like 200mg rather than 500mg 2x/wk
   
4. HCG - could do half doses to see if it picks up the slack
   

I'm concerned now-- I'm watching my body change from cut and strong-looking gradually to 'old man belly' and weak-looking shoulders and legs. At my age will this experiment lose me ground I can't get back?

When I started the experiment I had high hopes and expectations. Now I'm wondering when the magic will happen. 

Maybe I just need a pep talk, or some tweak to my process? If I don't see any change in the next couple days, I'll start experimenting with changing the volume around since lowering it modified the effect and got me the mental clarity back, maybe alternating days low volume one night higher volume another night will coax more effects out.

Cheers,
RonO

• I had a funny feeling that I needed an extra day of break before starting the sub so I took a 2 day break (instead of just 1) AND I could feel it 'bloom' both days. Makes me wonder if I should try a 3rd day
  
• Was going to back off the volume on this cycle, but when I went to start the sub, my subconscious seemed to be nudging me to keep it at 9, trying to compromise, the first night I did it at 8, but then following days went back to 9.
  
• Have been feeling the effects more than in the previous month. Last month had a couple colds, viruses or such and am now over the last vestiges of the cough, so that could be part of it.
  
• The effects I'm feeling do not correspond to raised libido or sexual performance, both of which are at a low ebb as in just barely functional. 
  
• The effects I'm feeling are most like when I went on peptides prescribed by my doctor to boost growth hormone. That is: improved sleep and some improvement on energy, muscles feel fuller and respond better to exercise than in the previous 2 months, without eating less or changing my calorie intake (or outflow) I am dropping some weight again, which had begun to creep up. Now it has trended down over the last 2 cycles, especially this current cycle I'm wrapping up tomorrow.
  
• I have found that the improved energy level, fades quickly--especially some days--but this could be that I'm still dealing with some long covid symptoms. I'm going to my functional medicine doctor at the end of the month to discuss these.
  

• Libido is unchanged, wishing it would go up, I'm pursuing this now with my functional medicine doc, she has ordered some tests to see if she can determine the underlying cause. Might be interesting.
  
• I've changed the run to 4 loops/night, 5 days (usually, I have messed up on this and lost track a couple times), 2 days off (I found that increasing from 1 day to 2 days, the sub activated more. 
  

• Total Testosterone: 499 -- in range, but in the bottom third of norms for my age for men
  
• Free Testosterone: 28.9 -- below low range, this is the T that makes you feel something
  
• Bioavailable Testosterone: 63.2 -- this like 'Free' is also important, it is the active version of T
  
• Sex Hormone Binding Globulin: 83 -- this is a culprit preventing me from feeling the effects of the Free and Bioavailable T. It appears that the HOY program does not adequately address this part of the equation. Note that there are no medications for this available, there are two herbs that I used in the past to modulate it (alternating between them), but I have not been using them during the HOY until recently, I began using one of them at my doctor's insistence. I figured it was ok, because this is not affect hormone production. 
  
• FSH and LH -- 3.7 and 4.5 respectively: this puts me in the low end range for these hormones for men my age. For younger folk they are much higher. So it did not return my 'youthful' hormone levels.
  

• HOY does not adequately boost T in me and/or men of my age and condition of low T caused by eating too much Soy back in the 90s.
  
• It does nothing to address the Total T vs. Free and Bioavailable T, as my SHBG has only increased through the experimental period.
  
• FSH and LH which I feel need to be boosted to feel younger, more vital and libidinous were slightly increased, but the target is in the upper range, not in the lower range where I still get symptoms. 
  
• Cortisol is at an all-time high for me, which is hard to explain since the test was done late morning (around 11am) after arising at 6:30am.