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+--- Thread: UH is awesome (/Thread-UH-is-awesome)
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 03-25-2022
I just hope OGSF can make it to 5.9G in case I can't overcome the fear causing tinnitus with UH, but I have to say I'm progressing even more now, now I don't associate symptoms with danger or death even if it is pain, yesterday something curious happened, at night I was feeling it was getting hard to breathe but then my mind was "fearing" with everything, if the cellphone battery explodes, if there is a fire, if I get hurt by moving while sleeping, it was crazy and uncontrollable.
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 03-26-2022
Today I want to disappear, at least my personality, beliefs, feelings, emotions, thoughts, and now I'm dizzy as hell.
For context i just send to hell something i was working for quite a time, but in the end I don't even care in fact I feel free but unable to do something else, I don't want to exist now, nothing really matters to me.
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 03-27-2022
It appears that fear is finally getting serious, no more symptoms, just the two of us, me trying to change the associations that trigger fear and the subconscious trying to trigger fear with everything it got, also tinnitus is getting quiet each week it passes, maybe that's a sign or just some quiet days followed by louder days, I don't know, now I'm getting excited.
I'm going to redo the thing I send to hell yesterday but in a different direction, I also don't want to give up.
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 03-31-2022
For the last two days perfectionism has been pretty annoying until yesterday at night when suddenly I found myself just enjoying what I was doing instead of thinking if it was wrong (curiously I get to the conclusion if everything I do is wrong then thinking what is right is also wrong, ironic isn't it), then after that symptoms came back, slight dizzyness as well as tiredness and my body temperature was high, also the subconscious trying to deceive me with the breathing and the throat feeling like throwing up, now symptoms are nowhere to be found.
RE: UH is awesome - Shannon - 03-31-2022
The struggle is being won by the cooperative parts it sounds like.
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 03-31-2022
Hello left tinnitus, I wonder if it has to do with me feeling more miserable than usual.
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 04-01-2022
Now the left tinnitus behavior is kind of random, it appears sometimes at certain times of the day and then leaves, for the time being perfectionism is not that much a pain in the ass but my nose still gets congested at least half of the day, yesterday was a bad day but today seems to be fine.
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 04-01-2022
Right now I'm dealing with pain around the heart as well as numbness in the same zone, at first my mind goes like "shit, the pain means I'm gonna die" then I try to convince myself that pain does not necessarily means i'm dying, in this case is just resistance to overcome fear so half an hour later my mind goes like "I'm feeling pain... whatever", this is the last day off and it was a while since the symptoms give a hard time in days off.
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 04-02-2022
I still feel some pain and numbness around the heart but it no longer trigger other symptoms as tiredness or dizzyness, which was usual, if my nose is not congested then is pain in the chest and the same in the other way, well at least I'm feeling better now, today I remembered I need to let go my emotions instead of being stiff all the time, and sometimes just laugh at my misfortunes and life in general, what if everything got no sense at all, what if I haven't accomplished anything, before I realize I will be dead as if nothing happened, I wonder if death feels similar to passing out, just nothing, in any case why should I even fear death, everything will become nothing and I wouldn't even realize, so I'm just going to live my life as I like.
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 04-04-2022
I'm having a hard time dealing with contractions of my throat especially when trying to sleep, maybe I should increase to 4 loops.
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 04-04-2022
I'm having headaches for the rest of the day, also been quite angry, I'm going to increase loops.
RE: UH is awesome - Shannon - 04-05-2022
How many are you up to now?
RE: UH is awesome - User_000 - 04-05-2022
Before it was 3 loops of hybrid, now 4 loops, I have one thing clear, the symptoms are gone, but now I feel my body overloaded with energy that my head feels a little dizzy and my limbs shiver at times, no idea if it was caused by the increase of loops or just because I slept more than 8 hours in years, or both, I also found interesting stuff while sleeping but right now my head is spinning so when it feels stable.
RE: UH is awesome - Shannon - 04-05-2022
That's a pretty heavy impact level. It's possible that the feeling of dizzy is either overload or the result of your subconscious being unable to escape fear that it is processing. I cannot tell which, but if this is what is working, then so be it. Do what it takes.