+- Subliminal Talk (https://subliminal-talk.com)
+-- Forum: Men's Journals (18+ NSFW) (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals-18-NSFW)
+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: User_000 OF 3 thread (/Thread-User-000-OF-3-thread)
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-10-2021
Now the muscles around the region of the heart are hurting, even my back and been sweating a little for a while, like that friday when I was dying, feel similar except I'm not dying this time, I don't even care about tinnitus, by the way I was right is something muscular, looks like my right ear is always tense for some reason so when I put on earphones for hours when sleeping it tense the ear even more and tinnitus gets louder, then it calm down and become more quiet.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-11-2021
I'm pretty sure tinnitus is related to the strain in my ear, today it was more strained (to the point it was hurting) than usual and tinnitus was very loud, right now it has dissapeared but my ear is less strained, the way I measure it is snaping the fingers close to the ear and depending if it shrinks, the sensation and the timing I can now how bad it is, right now can't feel at all if it shrinks and there's not a big sensation, plus the timing is very low, so I don't think it's a coincidence tinnitus has gone missing, and i'm snapping them to produce a high noise that should be more effective but even so the answer is not great even though this morning a slight sound made my ear shrink, so maybe finally I have the answer, that means OF is making the subconscious to strain my ear for some reason, but that leaves the question about why only one and why is way more stressed than the left which tinnitus is less frequent and strong.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-12-2021
Before I went to sleep yesterday I noticed the symptoms from the previous day led to low blood pressure, because at that moment I experienced them again so it took almost 2 hours to fall asleep and also increase the loops to 5, rarely enough today my right ear is weird, the shrinkage became more frequent and gets triggered even with the movement but doesn't feel bad as the previous times, now I just hope my blood pressure remain stable, last time it lasted like 8 hours and even after waking up I was feeling kind of down.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-12-2021
Sometimes I wonder if coincidences are real, I was under a stressful situation and my right ear literally started to vibrate very hard I thought it will close off my ear for 3 times, now after that my ear never shrink or vibrate anymore so maybe it's safe to conclude it was trying to free from stress, now I just have to deal with muscle pain around the region of the heart that can trigger fear or indicates low blood pressure in case it shows itself a little above the heart.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-13-2021
Well, this is a great day, I was finally able to convince fear that mutilated organs or somebody else's illnesses are not myself, that makes tinnitus the only issue left, if it doesn't leave before the year ends I'm afraid I will switch to E5, plenty much of the job is done by now, fear can no longer regenerate itself I won't let it.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-15-2021
Tinnitus is getting weird, now the one from the left ear is getting louder and frequent while the right one is disappearing or maybe I'm just focusing on the left, either way I have noticed the sound on the right is getting quiet at night and now I feel fear from using OF with earphones when sleeping (but I keep doing it anyway), it's not like this is making me feel bad, actually now it feels like having a bug making noise close to my ear, what's the main cause of tinnitus? I have no idea, maybe it's caused by resistance or as an effect of who-knows other symptom.
Sometimes I got sudden ideas or remember something, then a few time later it appears in front of me, the same happened for the ears, one day I just thought that fear could trigger something to my ears and that was the end of it, now look at me now, well, at least I got rid of the fear that tinnitus caused.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-16-2021
Something might happen today, my right ear is going crazy, first tinnitus was loud then when I was having breakfast my ear suddenly started to hear the same sound but pretty much louder, this was first to me but only lasted a couple of seconds, and now I feel tickles in the right ear as well as earwax, also tinnitus disappeared but now the left is getting annoying, hopefully this is some kind of body adjustment instead of something bad.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-17-2021
This definitely has to do with fear, yesterday I couldn't sleep because fear was tormenting me with going deaf, It was pretty nasty I swear I was feeling sick and tinnitus was pretty loud, so now that leaves the question about why is so fixated on getting deaf, why can't be something else like cancer (I'm screwed either way haha), it appears the final boss wasn't the fear in my heart but that nasty fear, and it wasn't the first time I felt it, I can tell it's pure negativity which goal is more like harming rather than protecting, could this be some kind of psychopathic behavior? could this be related to the especific behavior of punish me when things get bad? No idea.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-23-2021
I'm getting some TID from E5, actually I don't know for certain if tinnitus on the left dissapeared because of that (it was getting louder and for some reason I was speaking with myself in a supportive way, when I finished tinnitus banished), I'm thinking the one on the right is related to pain and suffering (like stuff I don't want to hear) because it just won't leave and recently it has improve, the sound no longer annoys me at night and don't last that much when gets louder, now I'm wondering if subconscious has to do with injuring my penis to prevent me from masturbate, or I just overdo it (I don't know only did it once before that) but that's another matter.
I don't know yet if it's better to switch to E5, TID was very convincing I can't wait to use it, but I don't know if tinnitus may improve or gets worse by doing so, at least the worst part is over, my ear won't suffer like before again.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-26-2021
Now this is getting interesting, 2 days ago I found out the most accurate cause for tinnitus (fear of people getting mad at me when keeping silence, I'm not a talkative person you see), and since then tinnitus has been diminishing, also been feeling bad around the region of my heart or muscles around the heart for a few days, it's more like something annoying that last a couple of hours which makes me feel tired and dizzy apart from the pain and today I remembered something that might be the main cause of that fear, something stupid about heart cirjuries on TV and perhaps something related to my birth (caesarian), hell I was feeling like having a heart attack until I realized I was giving my energy and focus to fear so I stopped doing that and my suffering ended but still feel pain at times, and also the fear in my ear is trying to resist again, it tried something to make me feel desperate with a sensation in my ear, or maybe it's better to say I was getting desperate for worrying too much about my hearing (fear trying to deceive me), then I noticed and stopped caring.
Looks like I will stick with OF until everything is stable but I wish fear to be more gentle with me, seriously I might end up at the hospital one day.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 12-30-2021
Looks like fear is getting ready for round 2, both of my ears are stressed again and tinnitus of the left is coming back, I wish I could be as persistent as fear in life and not give up my dreams, it also appears there can't be two fully active symptoms at once, when I was suffering with my heart tinnitus wasn't that bad, now the first is gone and the second is awakening it's M side, I truly await the day when symptoms go to hell, if this was a game I would have all the masochist pasive skills unlocked, and my character class will be M, at this point I can only laugh.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 01-01-2022
Yesterday I was more dizzy than usual, and lately TID from E5 is so strong it doesn't look like I'm using OF (facing with self deprecation and emotional dependence), I wonder if I can get rid of tinnitus with E5, I mean if there is some trauma or emotional pain on the ear then OF from E5 should deal with it anyway, or I'm missing something here?
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - THolt - 01-01-2022
(01-01-2022, 08:34 AM)User_000 Wrote: Yesterday I was more dizzy than usual, and lately TID from E5 is so strong it doesn't look like I'm using OF (facing with self deprecation and emotional dependence), I wonder if I can get rid of tinnitus with E5, I mean if there is some trauma or emotional pain on the ear then OF from E5 should deal with it anyway, or I'm missing something here?
You may want to wait and see if Universal Healing will be built in the near future.
RE: User_000 OF 3 thread - User_000 - 01-01-2022
(01-01-2022, 08:45 AM)THolt Wrote:(01-01-2022, 08:34 AM)User_000 Wrote: Yesterday I was more dizzy than usual, and lately TID from E5 is so strong it doesn't look like I'm using OF (facing with self deprecation and emotional dependence), I wonder if I can get rid of tinnitus with E5, I mean if there is some trauma or emotional pain on the ear then OF from E5 should deal with it anyway, or I'm missing something here?
You may want to wait and see if Universal Healing will be built in the near future.
If I can't get rid of it and UH exists by then definitely I will consider it.