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+--- Thread: Ascending to Alpha (/Thread-Ascending-to-Alpha)
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 12-29-2017
Stage 2 Day 17:
- Starting to have both males and females act nervous and like they’re seeking my approval when they interact with me.
- Women speak to me in a very gentle way.
- My wife and I are actually reconnecting at a rapid rate.
- There’s a female coworker who was talking shit about me behind my back last week. This week she kept coming close to me and trying be friendly. She even kept trying to invite me out to go get drinks with her for New Years. Talk about bipolar. I don’t take her seriously at the end of the day. I never do when someone has a problem with me but never say anything to my face about it.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 12-31-2017
Stage 2, Day 18:
- Went on the date with the wife last night. First thing I’ve noticed is that I no longer harbor any hard feelings towards her for certain things she’s said or done. Our interactions were quite loving towards one another all throughout the date. Seems the forgiveness of self and others programming has taken hold.
- I found myself simply taking charge at every turn on the date, no hesitation. I did it all in a gentlemanly manner as well without being a doormat or like I was seeking any sort of approval.
- Bonus: it’s day 19 and I woke up to some morning intimacy.
Between Friday and night and this morning really reminded me of the times that things between us were great. The past couple weeks alone have shown me that there is potential to work this out. At times I feel myself missing my family being under one roof. No indecision here, I’ve decided that I want my marriage to work. Won’t happen overnight ultimately but I can already tell that we’re both in a better place. Even some of the things she says and does is beginning to show me that she’s finally making improvements as well. At least this time no matter what, I know I’ll be going back into this as a better man.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 12-31-2017
Stage 2, Day 19
As I close out this new year I know I’ll be in a good place. Thanks to IML I emotionally healed and became more positive. My level of maturity and wisdom has accelerated probably faster than any other year thus far. In just 6 months I feel as if I’ve made years worth of progress in my self growth. I haven’t felt that way since 2011. Looking back it seems as if I’ve even finished conquering the bit of ptsd symptoms that remained from my tour in Afghanistan as well. I’m glad knowing that I’ll have IML Subs under my belt for a full year and be an even better man by the time 2019 comes in.
I’ve only gotten to listen to around 2 loops today so far, and I plan on cramming in another 2 before midnight but I’ll still have catching up to do starting tomorrow.
- Today I’m pretty irritated with my daughter’s behavior but not responding in a negative way. Just asserting my dominance as her father.
- I’m in a “taking care of business” kind of mood, and getting things done.
- A girl who works at Walgreens stared at me while I walked around and turned a couple seconds after I glanced at her. When I checked out she began acting withdrawn which is strange considering how loud and vivacious she was with other customers just moments before.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - rayrocanaldo - 12-31-2017
(12-11-2017, 02:19 AM)DavisMind91 Wrote: Quick stage 1 Day 30 update. Thought the rest of the day would be uneventful so I posted early but nope. My wife came to pick my daughter up. When she got here she acted strange, kind of depressed. I asked if she was upset about something but she refused to talk about it. She then offered to buy me dinner. I let her stay and watch the baby while I went out to get food. When I get there, I make my order, and the cashier jokes that the price was $100. I joked with her and said my heart almost skipped a beat when she said that.
She says that we didn’t need me dropping in the floor as they need me as a repeat customer. At this point I thought she was just joking but nope. I sat down and my wife texted me that she wanted to spend the night with me, damn lol. There goes my peaceful sleep. Since she seemed depressed I simply told her to get comfortable while I was gone. I get the feeling she was lonely. She made the comment that she really wants to work things out.
I got my food 15 minutes later. When she called my number, the cashier acted unusually glad to see me. Once I told her thanks she said “try not to miss me too much”. I smirked, she said it again like she really wanted me to hear it. After the second time I said “I’ll try not to”. After I said that, she literally screamed “he’s so cute!” So loudly that the whole place heard it. I walked out smirking, I found that random as hell. Got back to my place and my wife pretty much just wanted me to hold her all night.
This is a journal to watch !
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 01-01-2018
Stage 2 Day 20
- Found myself irritable today.
- Starting to notice that when I assert myself lately people shut up and fall in line. In the past it was normal that I got a little pushback or into downright arguments. I’m not looking to be a bully or dominate people but I can’t stand when a you try and calm a situation with a calm head and maturity and people want to argue more than they want to get there point across just for the sake of drama.
- I’m now mapping out what moves I’m going to be making money and career wise this year. I’m sick of doing things I hate for little money. I’m also sick of so many of the things I’ve tried to get ahead failing. Financially I know people who are doing worse but my frustration has been present for a while since I often feel like I’m not where I want to be. I plan on starting BASE exactly a year from today so we’ll see how that works out. In the mean time there are about 2-3 options I have in front of me. No matter what road I take it’ll effect the course of my life for at least the next 3 years automatically.
- A few people lately have been asking me if I’m ok. Guess they’re seeing certain changes, of course I don’t notice them all at once because of the naturalizer.
- My sister’s insurance agent stated to her that I have a sexy voice. Didn’t know my voice turned women on that much, maybe that’s why they sound a particular way when I’m talking on the phone at work. One thing that did take me a while to notice is that it seems I speak with more bass in my voice.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 01-03-2018
Stage 2, Day 22:
Going to have to scale back my listening from 12 hours daily to 8. The mental drain is getting to be a bit much to handle. I'll scale back for the last 10 days of this stage and see how things effect me in stage 3.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 01-04-2018
Stage 2, Day 23:
Kinda early but it’s already eventful.
- Technology all around me acting screwy.
- I’m feeling frustrated as I’m trying to sleep. Feels like the sub is effecting my sleep quality.
- Over the past 2 weeks I’ve been fasting a lot and being careful not to overstuff myself when I eat.
- Female coworkers who never even used to speak to me are beginning to go as far as to do small favors for me without me even asking.
- Thoughts very prevalent today about how I can’t wait to finish stage 2. This may be resistance because listening to the sub has been getting on my nerves all night.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 01-05-2018
Stage 2, Day 24:
So much for 8 hours daily. I believe the STC programming has me sticking to 12 hours. I remember APE and E2 being mentally taxing some days but damn, AM6 is on another level. It's giving me insight as to why some guys couldn't finish on their first runs. I'm even starting to feel cluster headaches at times while running the sub.
In other news, I'm almost done with stage 2 and ready to be introduced to the "big guns" stage. I like the fact that by the time my bday comes around, I'll be well into stage 3. What a great birthday gift to me.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 01-06-2018
Stage 2, Day 25:
Naturalizer is something else. Went to the grocery store this morning and didn’t realize until after I got home is that 99% of what I bought is all healthy foods and beverages. AM6 is having an unforeseen effect on my dietary choices lately.
I’ve also caught myself having small worries over external validation concerning my next moves in life and what my wife may think of them if things work out between us. Ultimately though I keep telling myself that I have to put my self-Love above all as well as my long-term happiness. I may have forgiven my wife for many things done and said but I won’t let anyone try and control what I do or walk over me. Even if that means not being on good terms any more which is just fine with me considering the fact that I hate drama.
She has to learn at some point that she can’t control anyone and just because she has “control freak” issues at times doesn’t mean she’ll be listened to.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 01-07-2018
Stage 2, Day 26
- Feeling extremely irritable, almost as irritable as I was as a teenager which in those times, I had a short fuse.
- I’m pushing past procrastination to get things done. I even went as far as to plan out my entire week and gave myself a due date for each individual task I want to accomplish.
- My wedding anniversary is next weekend. I actually do plan to celebrate it. I already chose what to do and knocked reservations out of the way. This is where the maturity programming had to kick in because I could’ve easily used the money on something else. Even now I could still get what I desire but that could put me in a bad situation over the next 11 days. I’m just going to have to delay my personal gratification because I’m not putting myself in the hole for the purchase. It is a tool I’m going to need in the near future and I’ll probably have to wait months for it to be available again but oh well, I’ll just save up for it so when the next opportunity comes around I’ll be ready to buy it and actually be able to afford it in the long term.
- For part of the day I’ve begun to realize that when I lack direction and purpose, I’m easily not at my best. Seems I’ve come to the realization that I have to actually have a reason to do things in order to even act these days, as opposed to in my early 20’s where I literally did whatever I wanted just for the hell of it. I’m contemplating who I am and who I’m becoming, what I truly want, why I want it, what I’ll do once I’ve achieved my goals, and even what I’m willing to give up to reach my goals. I feel lost but don’t want to do what everyone else is because then I feel like I would’ve dug myself too deep into things that don’t make me fulfilled. I’d just be doing them just to have something to do and I’d rather not act at all if that’s going to be the case.
- I’ve decided to start meditating again in order to ground myself and maintain my “zen”, especially as a man.
- I’m questioning all the information from my past and present. Reason is, I don’t want to hold onto or adopt beliefs and philosophies until I know the origin, why and how a particular belief or philosophy came about, and if I feel it’s valid according to my personal experience, and if it can stand up to a scientific method of questioning and observation to distinguish fact from falsehood. I won’t live my life believing what others think just because they believe in something. We all have our personal views and opinions but more often than not, these views were programmed into us and never questioned, which made us into people we weren’t meant to be. After all isn’t that why were using subliminals in the first place? To clear out the junk and replace it all with productive thoughts, beliefs and attitudes, and ultimately actions?
...it’s been a long day.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 01-08-2018
Stage 2, Day 27:
- Noticeable attention from females today.
- A few guys stared at me like I was an alien for no apparent reason.
- Females seem nervous to look me in the eye unless I talk to them daily at work, or they're attracted to me.
- One receptionist in particular kept referring to me as "Mr." today as a sign of respect
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 01-10-2018
Stage 2, Day 28:
- More attention from females. As I walked around my college campus I got a few more admiring glances than normal. In my psychology class I spoke with the girl that sat next to me for an assignment. Towards the end of class as she was walking out, I caught her staring at me.
- One other kind of surprising factor is that my psychology professor took an unusual interest in me. I had a question for her before I left class. Once it was answered, I kept trying to walk away but she would keep saying things to prolong the conversation. She kept telling me the same thing in a different way, and I know it’s not because she thought I was stupid, I know it’s because she seems drawn to me. Mind you she did this in front of 5 other students who were waiting in line behind me to speak to her also. After the FOURTH, yea fourth time of me trying to walk away, she finally let me go, well of course that was after she made sure that she remembered by name by asking me what it was and repeating it back to me. Looks like I may be in for an easy A this semester haha.
- There was also a girl that kept staring at me excessively as I washed my clothes at the laundromat.
- Something strange I noticed is that I feel a bit repulsed towards my wife the past couple days. It’s not actually her fault either. She’s actually being pretty sweet. I just feel annoyed by her presence and her voice. I’m showing only about half of the affection that I have in the past 3 weeks or so. She’s even been asking me if I’m ok.
- Jist noticed that it seems like the manifestation sequence for friends is working. I had 2 female coworkers actually call me yesterday to see if my daughter is ok due to her having a high fever. That’s not why I think it’s working though, it’s because I noticed that these 2 particular females are ones that I share intimate details about my life with to a certain extent and we do each other favors. We’re becoming like the 3 amigos but only with one guy haha. I admit that even though I’m pretty sociable, damn near friendly at times, I don’t socialize much outside of work.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 01-10-2018
Stage 2, Day 29:
- 3rd day in a row with explicit attention from women.
- My other female professor was talking to me today in class and her pupils dilated. She began sizing me up and her eyes said "I want to F**k right now".
- Males have been staring as I walk by, like there's a look of admiration on their faces.
- A female supervisor came to ask me for a favor, at first her hand was balded up and rested on my shoulder, a couple seconds later she began to message my shoulder, and rubbed it a bit.
- I notice more of a take charge attitude and mindset within myself.
- I feel fear dissolving more within me the past few days.
RE: Ascending to Alpha - DavisMind91 - 01-11-2018
Stage 2 Day 30
- Noticing that my body language is conveying more confidence and a display of dominance and personal power.
- I've taken the lead in every group setting I've been in today.
- Humor is still improving.
- I'm talking at a much louder default volume.