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+--- Thread: alpha 3 (/Thread-alpha-3)
RE: alpha 3 - ffaux - 10-09-2016
Based on my own experience and the experiences I've followed of other people I think that AM needs to be more focused on women, albeit in a very different way to the way it is now.
It has been my personal experience and it appears to be the experience of others that women are a big hook for us that pulls us back to our old selves and is a major source of resistance. I think that the next iteration of AM needs to deal with this much more directly, much more aggressively and much earlier. The biggest pain users of AM experience is one of unmet expectations. If the hooks to our insecurities and low self-esteem around women are absolved up front in the first stages it would clear the path and free us emotionally for the growth that follows to help us transform into alpha males.
I would love to hear the thoughts of other people who have run AM6 multiple times on this.
RE: alpha 3 - ffaux - 10-10-2016
Stage 5 and 6 have had crazy emotional healing after breaking up with the girl I mentioned before. It's tough and a lot of tears have been shed but I always come out of it thinking "this is a better place" emotionally. A lot of healing is needed not just around women but also around friendships. I'm grateful for the release technique, AM seems to raise the right emotions to the surface to be released but it doesn't seem to help me release them so I consciously have to let them go using releasing.
Releasing is working much better for me this time because I'm actually releasing emotions lol. I think the problem I had before was that when I was "releasing" I was actually suppressing.
RE: alpha 3 - ffaux - 10-11-2016
I have been feeling so alone.
I realised that I never gave the girl I've talked about the opportunity to voice her feelings. I've learned just how important conflict and drama is to give the person with less power in a relationship the opportunity to voice their feelings. I used to avoid drama at all costs because of Black Dragon but I've come to realise that I was only emotionally damaged and was never going to form a meaningful relationship with an emotionally healthy woman if I won't give her the opportunity to share her hurt with me. Just like with this girl. It'll just spiral out of control into a "no fault" breakup because of misunderstandings and wrong assumptions. It's not Alpha 2.0 to avoid confrontation. It's beta.
I tried picking up a cute waitress. She was signaling very strong interest. She had a boyfriend though. It seems so obvious lol but I guess girls will still find you attractive, flirt with you and want you even if they're taken.
RE: alpha 3 - ffaux - 10-12-2016
Things are so hard right now. I'm so emotional. It's like a fire hose of emotions. I've cried so much in the past 24 hours that my eyes are red. It's like one notch down from overwhelming but I've made so many social mistakes in 36 hours. Neediness is out of control high and so is approval seeking. But not for girls…for friends.
Update: Hoooooooooly shit. I just had the DnM of my life with my mom. There is so much emotional healing going on inside of me. AM is provoking the fuck out of me to heal and god damn it's hard. This subliminal is not for pussies.
Update: I feel like I'm on my period.
RE: alpha 3 - ffaux - 10-16-2016
I have a deep rooted insecurity about being/appearing weak. I think it comes from being picked on as a kid. I have a difficult time revealing that I'm hurt because I don't think people will care or will think I'm weak and, either way, will want to distance themselves from me.
I have been walking around pretending like I'm strong for fear of pushing people away. This has been a great burden for me to carry. I've isolated myself and made myself feel very alone by not letting anyone in lest they discover how sensitive I really am.
I think men are meant to be strong or women will not want them, hence their constant challenges to test how emotionally strong we are and if we're still strong. This has made the insecurity even deeper because I've been carrying a lot of hurt from past relationships that I have attributed to the result being weak. So I have wanted to cover up and hide my weakness. I have been ashamed of my weakness.
I have felt a lot of shame lately for being vulnerable and revealing my weakness but I think it's step one in overcoming this insecurity and the people around me have surprised me with the love with which they've responded.
RE: alpha 3 - ffaux - 10-18-2016
I'm so sick of pretending like I don't have feelings and trying to hide them lest I push people away. I have been hurt so much because I've scared people away.
I feel so feminine. I want to listen to Lemonade by Beyoncé and Halo by Beyoncé and I relate to songs like Let It Go from Frozen about being fearless and not hiding that I have feelings. I feel this makes me gay and like no woman will want me. But I still have feelings and I don't want to hide them anymore. People here will probably judge me for this but I pray that I don't give in to shame and delete this post. I don't care if this makes me "gay" or undesirable to women.
I can understand why this song is so important for little girls so that they feel free to be themselves.
RE: alpha 3 - ffaux - 10-21-2016
I've been dealing with some intense feelings abandonment lately and it's been very emotional. And I think the last few posts about my feelings have been the result of AM undoing my validation seeking behaviour. I've been hiding my feelings because I thought I would receive disapproval for having feelings but almost the opposite has happened since I've started being quite open about having feelings and telling people what those feelings are.
It's fucking tough though. I'm really testing my friendships right now because of how needy my abandonment issues are making me.
RE: alpha 3 - Asanti - 10-22-2016
Congratulations on staying with the program, AM is a difficult beast to go through...
RE: alpha 3 - ffaux - 10-24-2016
I feel like I'm coming out of a depression. Every now and again I feel a surge of motivation and happiness and I realise that this is how I used to feel. I think AM6 hit me a lot deeper than I realised this time. I just hope this isn't a regression but rather that I'm growing as a result of finding a truer sense of myself.
RE: alpha 3 - ffaux - 11-09-2016
Finished stage 6, round 3 last night. I experienced a lot of personal growth this round, some of which was really impressive given some of the bullshit and drama I've had to deal with after breaking it off with the girl I talked about earlier. I approached more women in the last week than I have in the past year. Got 2 dates in the making and possibly a third eventuating from tinder.
Did I mention I've dealt with a lot or bullshit lately? The girl I was dating has been poisoning my friends against me and been absolutely shit to me when I've met her with nothing but forgivenesss, compassion and understanding. Somehow, she did everything wrong but managed to make me look like the bad guy from just sitting down and crying and manipulating my friendship circle against me. I'm exhausted. I can't take it anymore. Don't know how to deal with this anymore. I just need to cut her out of my life.
I still have a lot of work to do. My results are nowhere near where I want them to be and nowhere near what AM6 promises. I'll likely start round 4 as soon as possible.
RE: alpha 3 - Darkness - 11-10-2016
(11-09-2016, 05:24 PM)ffaux Wrote: Finished stage 6, round 3 last night. I experienced a lot of personal growth this round, some of which was really impressive given some of the ***** and drama I've had to deal with after breaking it off with the girl I talked about earlier. I approached more women in the last week than I have in the past year. Got 2 dates in the making and possibly a third eventuating from tinder.
Did I mention I've dealt with a lot or ***** lately? The girl I was dating has been poisoning my friends against me and been absolutely shit to me when I've met her with nothing but forgivenesss, compassion and understanding. Somehow, she did everything wrong but managed to make me look like the bad guy from just sitting down and crying and manipulating my friendship circle against me. I'm exhausted. I can't take it anymore. Don't know how to deal with this anymore. I just need to cut her out of my life.
I still have a lot of work to do. My results are nowhere near where I want them to be and nowhere near what AM6 promises. I'll likely start round 4 as soon as possible.
You the realist G , I'm supporting a 4th round.
RE: alpha 3 - Spareness - 11-11-2016
(11-09-2016, 05:24 PM)ffaux Wrote: Finished stage 6, round 3 last night. I experienced a lot of personal growth this round, some of which was really impressive given some of the ***** and drama I've had to deal with after breaking it off with the girl I talked about earlier. I approached more women in the last week than I have in the past year. Got 2 dates in the making and possibly a third eventuating from tinder.
Did I mention I've dealt with a lot or ***** lately? The girl I was dating has been poisoning my friends against me and been absolutely shit to me when I've met her with nothing but forgivenesss, compassion and understanding. Somehow, she did everything wrong but managed to make me look like the bad guy from just sitting down and crying and manipulating my friendship circle against me. I'm exhausted. I can't take it anymore. Don't know how to deal with this anymore. I just need to cut her out of my life.
I still have a lot of work to do. My results are nowhere near where I want them to be and nowhere near what AM6 promises. I'll likely start round 4 as soon as possible.
Finally, you've completed Round 3. Quite emotional roller coaster.
Talking about emotions, do you not have the desire to use E2? I think after three rounds AM6 and you're not satisfied, E2 is a pretty wise choice for the next sub.
But if you still choose to proceed with AM6, I will still support you.
RE: alpha 3 - ffaux - 11-11-2016
There is only one path now. I needed Stress Relief for a little while but I've tasted the freedom of AM6 and this journey must be completed. I can't live like this.
RE: alpha 3 - Life - 11-11-2016
I know that feel. As if AM is the only path. Remember you're evolving whichever program that's used I don't think you'd regress unless intentionally self destruct