+- Subliminal Talk (https://subliminal-talk.com)
+-- Forum: Men's Journals (18+ NSFW) (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals-18-NSFW)
+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM6 RE-RUN Stage 2 - Letting go (/Thread-Apex-Predator-Evolutionary-Log-AM6-RE-RUN-Stage-2-Letting-go)
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - Total Life Transformation - AeJe - 01-07-2014
re: LIFE IS REAL
yes!! totally!!
i completely believe that is what we all want -- real-ness.
but we live in such illusions propagated by the mainstream, hollywood, pharma, religion -- this world system.
i, too, back in early 2000s, went through about 3 years of
-NO TV
-NO movies
-NO music
-NO anything mainstream
and then after 3 years, i felt it was ok for me to wander about and i noticed that i did NOT get emotional or triggered easily because of a song or that is am not attached to one (person or thing).
meaning, i came from a place of strength and power.
in fact, my taste in music is so far from what i used to grow up with.
if it aint good for my SOUL, i stay away from it.
-
there is this old western resto i went to one time.
and there was this old jukebox where anyone can put a quarter and play any song in the jukebox.
i remember there was this song titled: "Heaven" and it was on #7.
meaning you press #7 to play this "heaven" song.
well, one of my friend pushed #7 and it was really HEAVEN.
it was bliss.
the music = SILENCE.
pure bliss.
-
this was a good post, DEE.
i totally joke and make fun of celebrities and sometimes kinda feel bad for them.
and have met women who really are a beauty in every sense of the word though they may be no "model-look alike" or barbie-esque, but i would pick them over any polished up babe any day of the week and twice on sunday.
EXCELLENT POST!!!
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - Total Life Transformation - n0ddy - 01-07-2014
On September 18th, 2009, I started reading EasyWay. I finished it on the 19th. As Allen says "the only thing you'll wonder is how you smoked for so long".
I didn't really believe him, but here I am, several years on, and now I wonder how I smoked for so long.
Shortly after that, I bought his book about alcohol. I read that one slowly, as I really couldn't see how I could live without alcohol. It had been a coping mechanism of mine for years, and despite that it almost killed me on several occassions, I still drank.
I finished it on 10th January, 2010, or 10.01.10 - I actually specifically chose 10.01 because I like numerology, but I could definitely have finished before that while still maintaining a slow pace.
I haven't drank alcohol since.
What I discovered is - it's not what you do, it's the attitude you have while doing it.
Nice to hear of your progress
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - Total Life Transformation - Dee - 01-08-2014
(01-07-2014, 04:05 AM)AeJe Wrote: re: LIFE IS REAL
yes!! totally!!
i, too, back in early 2000s, went through about 3 years of
-NO TV
-NO movies
-NO music
-NO anything mainstream
and then after 3 years, i felt it was ok for me to wander about and i noticed that i did NOT get emotional or triggered easily because of a song or that is am not attached to one (person or thing).
meaning, i came from a place of strength and power.
Sounds like a natural “BS Detox” solution to me, what music do you listen to now? New agey stuff or anything you feel isn’t negative? And do you still wander on a daily basis? It would be interesting to know.
(01-07-2014, 05:23 AM)n0ddy Wrote: I haven't drank alcohol since.
What I discovered is - it's not what you do, it's the attitude you have while doing it.
Yep, I even have had dreams where I go to the bar and just order fruit juice or a coke it’s amazing. It also amazing that the book worked for you, you must had had a strong will to quit.
Thanks Guys The encouragement will keep me going, fuel the fire as they say
AM5 Stage 1 - Garbage Disposal Summery - Dee - 01-08-2014
Summery
HighLights
Sober in the Club, SAY WAAAT!
Why can’t I just be myself?
Natural Game Vs Outer and Inner game
Matters of the Heart
Everyday’s “ThanksGiving Day”
How Porn Almost Ruined My Life
LIFE IS REAL - In love with an illusion
Stage One of AM5 has been breath-taking. I went from been mildly paranoid about what people think about me as a person, about my actions/reactions, and words; to only caring about what I think of myself.
Beautiful women triggered a combination of emotions that would kill any prehistory animal if exposed to too long. I would feel all my insecurities come into my awareness, balanced with pitiful coping strategies. I would feel lust, fear and worthlessness. And all this was made worse by the fact I was programmed to desire and do anything to posses these “high quality” women.
I now feel "nothing" toward beautiful women, I may still want to devour them sexually but that’s only natural.
I feel as though they are just like me (on the same level) and everyone else on that matter.I am also now aware that all people have the issues, complexes and insecurities. I may have to overcome anxiety to approach a female and she may have to stop herself from panicking for many reasons.
I may not care what people think of me and it has created a whole new world for me, one that I am free to act and be as I wish without fear of criticism, judgement or disapproval from anyone.
But I still have to deal with the negative things I think about myself or the negative echoes from other people's negative statements in the past. Been a dyslexic has self-esteem issues of its own caliber and classification, so next stage of this transformation is Mental Renovation
I notice that my posture is improving and I have this feeling that I need to do what I need to do, no matter how unpleasant the task may be, it needs to get done. The quicker it gets done the better.
Am so excited about Stage 2 of AM5
Report
AM5 Stage 1 - Garbage Disposal
AM5 Programing Time – 266 hours , BYBH – 256 hours Current Journey investment - £940
New Sexual Experiences: Sex- 0 Kisses – 0 Other – 0 Dates - 0
Known negative beliefs reprogramed - 65
Total Hypnosis Sessions – (Live) 0 (recorded) 600 mins Affirmations – 240 mins
Brain training - 0 Brainwave Training – 240 mins Meditation – 60 mins
Study Time – 260 mins
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM5 Stage 1 Summery - stratos - 01-08-2014
You're trying to manage a right-brain problem (emotional, creative, expressive) with your left brain (organized, rule-based.) Relax about it.
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM5 Stage 1 Summery - Dee - 01-08-2014
What specifically are you referring to Stratos?
Links and layout? I was planning to compile my journey into a book when am done, 2-3 years’ worth of posts would make a good read especially when I achieve all my goals. Am not looking for a best seller, I just always wanted to be an author plus it’s an interesting convo topic. If I manage to recoup my costs that would be a benefit too
Cost of journey? That’s no biggie, as I was planning my business I stumbled upon the importance of accounting. Those pennies really do add up, if I am to reach my goal of becoming finically independent, I will need to create a habit of personal accounting and budget discipline. It’s all part of my transformation.
Times spent? I know off the top, am a right brain guy, meaning I can’t keep track of time. I have so many extra things to do now plus launch a business. If I did not have some Time Management aids I would get overwhelmed or procrastinate, spend too long on certain tasks etc.
They say times money, the way I see it every one should account for they time more than they do for they money. We spend one 3rd of the day sleeping, another at work, am trying to invest my time in my early retirement fund
Noting changes? Am just trying to be sane
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein.
To be honest it can’t even remember how old I was been I first had sex, something no one forgets right? The right brain thing in action again. I always wanted to keep a journal as a aid, but I could always write for a few days then get distracted. For some reason putting it up here seems to help me stay on track. Great materiel for my project.
(12-27-2013, 12:50 PM)Dee Wrote: Secondary Goals
2)Achieve all short term goals that lead to accomplishing the main goals.
3) Write and publish a book about my transformation on this forum.
ENDLINE 2018: Age 30
Don’t worry I know that me tracking all these things won’t change the results as much as knowing how many push ups done in a set will impact a person's fitness level, but it sure does help in keeping people motivated and focused. Or at lease it does for me
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM5 Stage 1 Summery - stratos - 01-08-2014
just do whatever (FEFT, subs, etc.) to become more free and spontaneous and you won't need all this organization
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM5 Stage 1 Summery - Dee - 01-09-2014
At least you appreciate the fact that’s it’s not as easy done as it is said, if it’s a problem I will be dealt with in due time. “Good looking out” Bro
I feel as though I can’t just leave my success to the mercy of my impulsive thoughts (that’s not what you meant I know), if you were a compulsive daydreamer you would know what I mean.
Am so obsessed with success I have to measure it with a ruler of effort
AM5 Stage 2 - Mental Renovation #Day 2 - Dee - 01-09-2014
AM5 Stage 2
Mental Renovation
It amazing how time flies I will soon be an Alpha.
3 things man cannot live without in this modern world, SEX, MONEY AND HIS HEALTH. . Having cleared a major part of my sex related hang ups I can move one.
I have noticed that I have serious problems been comfortable asking for payments from my clients, I would make a treble salesman when I comes down to closing the deal. (I still have someone who owes me money for a job I did and I am reluctant to chase it up).
It probably stemmed from my negative self-image and inadequacy issues. I wound not feel as though my services are worth the price; even though the job would be done to the standards of the industry.
So this month I will focus on clearing issues related to money and my self-esteem toward it. I have a pretty good wealth mind set but my lack of confidence always got in the way now that I have disposed of a lot of metal garbage I can alight myself for wealth without those blocks
Short Term Goal #1 – Early Riser
I have been going to bed at 10pm (spending time after doing excises the waiting to sleep) and awaking at 8am when my alarm rings. Since I started stage two I have needed more sleep. I don’t know how much it will affect my goal and if I’ll reach it in time.
Dream Journal
My posts would be too long to add this every day. I will take it to another forum of dream enthusiasts as I have been having many dreams that have been coming to pass.
And I would like to master the fine art of been able to tell the dreams from the "dreams" and know what the symbolism means.
New Goals for Mental Renovation
I have started Jim's one year success plan and there are many new success habits I will create during the rest of this year, One of them is journaling every day.
For this month I will have to read twice a day, once in the morning (something spiritual) and another time in the evening or during the day. The reading will be self-improvement stuff so my business stuff won’t count .
Brain Renovation
Also Shannon as recommended that I listen to Beta wave entrainment twice a day once in the morning and once at noon, while listening to LaserLike Focus for the duration of AM5. In theory this should eradicate my ADD and in turn increase my confidence and productivity.
I plan to use his beta track in the morning and then use my light and sound machine in noon; with the help of my EEG device to optimise the on-going process in real time thus making it more effective.
![[Image: 5dm5o7.jpg]](http://i44.tinypic.com/5dm5o7.jpg)
Proteus - Advanced Light Sound Stimulation System
To help me stay focused and actually do all that is planned I will need to restructure my daily weekday routines and make it a habit, then leave the weekends to my pleasure and creativity.
Short Term Goal #3 – Week Day Ritual
Morning Visualization - 30 mins
Morning Brainwave Entrainment - 30 mins
Morning Reading - 30mins
Morning Mirror Affirmations - 10 mins
Build My Empire - 8 hours
Noon Meditation 1 - 30 mins
Noon Brainwave Entrainment - 30 mins
Evening Brain Training - 40 mins 1
Evening -Excisie - 30 mins
Evening Walk and Affirmations - 30 mins
Evening Mirror Affirmations 2 - 10 mins
Evening Reading 30 mins
Evening Meditation - 30 mins
Evening Hypnosis - 30 mins
= 6 hours
Dead Line 3rd February or the end of AM5 Stage 2
![[Image: 2jfniq1.jpg]](http://i41.tinypic.com/2jfniq1.jpg)
Time management app to assist me in this goal. I don't allow myself to get distracted my anything else until the task is over and the counter buzzes. It works great for me.
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM5 S2 - Mental Renovation - stratos - 01-09-2014
then tap on "being obsessed with success"
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM5 S2 - Mental Renovation - Dee - 01-09-2014
(01-09-2014, 05:23 AM)stratos Wrote: then tap on "being obsessed with success"
It that’s a bit scary for me to be honest.
I think this EFT could be dangerous if not used with wisdom.
What it sounds like to me is that you are suggesting I neutralize my motivation and drive to become a better person because am organizing and tracking my results or doing it too much?
As I recall Napoleon Hill and all of his successors teach that a person must desire something with a burning passion to increase the changes of actually getting that thing/person/state etc.
And it sounds like you are encouraging me to decease my odds by getting rid of my inflaming desires.
Can you please elaborate on your last statement, advice that important deserves more than just a few words, as I can be taken the wrong way if left to speculation.
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM5 S2 - Mental Renovation - stratos - 01-09-2014
Glad you asked! Being obsessed with success and allowing it to happen are two different things. Whether it's business, women, etc. Allow it to happen naturally rather than out of desperation. Passion and desperation, neediness are different. Geodude maybe you can help me out here.
RE: Apex-Predator Evolutionary Log - AM5 S2 - Mental Renovation - Fonzy3 - 01-09-2014
Tap on "obsessed", putting in un necessary work, not having synergy etc.
Thanks
Fonzy
AM5 Stage 2 - Mental Renovation #Day 4 - Dee - 01-10-2014
Fear and Faith
Been clearing up my fears of competition, for resources and women and how abundance plays into it all. I also noticed that I have been using all my resources to recreate the same day year in, year out, it almost as though I am afraid of new experiences.
Every time something comes along that may change my life, I destroy it. Fear of the unknown, fear of change or attachment to the past? It will give in soon.
Action Plan: Try to do or experience something new every day, allow the fears and issues to come up then clear them all.
Giving and Receiving
Done some work on been a good receiver of money, gifts and sex too. I have also been tapping on the belief “Am Stupid” for the last 5 days, it has been a trigger word for me and I want to neutralize it completely.
First Session with a Sex Expert
I can’t believe how nervous I got. I sent an email before because It would have been easier to write about that embarrassing problem rather than speak on it. I would have beat around the bush for ages.
So she came online we spoke for a second and she went off to read it. During that 10 or so minutes I started creating a lot of nervous energy, (I still have to dissect the process I use).
Then there were problems with the connection she could not hear me even though I could see and hear her. Some random thought suggested to me that she read the email and she’s cutting me off (fear of rejection?), that’s a smart way to do it. Then another thought that maybe the universe, God or a part of me is causing this, any way I ended up using my phone and we began the session.
Tapping really proves itself when done in the heat of the moment. So managed to get my nerves in order but the session went downhill in my mind. I failed to speak my mind, and the questions made me feel like it was a test and there where right or wrong answers.
On the positive I should be proud of the progress I have made. Before I would be thinking a lot about what she thinks of me, what a loser I am for even needing her help. Now it was more of me not speaking my mind and feeling nervous as a conditioning or out of habit (and a few minor issues).
Also It seems that that same “conditioning” makes it difficult for me to slow down relax and sort the 1000s of images and feelings in my mind into easy to understand sentences. Feels as though am been rushed or am waiting for someone to cut me up, even when am paying someone to listen to me, funny huh.
HomeWork
I have some assignments for the week that will mean me moving out my comfort zone. Plus I will work on my communication anxieties, my brother put it in my head that am a bad communicator and I now speak to people like children or go on more than necessary in my attempts to be clear.
Points to tap:
Racial based inferiority complex (am just been honest)
Relax when speaking and listening, taking my time to explain and increasing comfort levels
Am a bad communicator
It’s really f*cked weird in a awesome way, I don’t care what she thinks of me or how the session went down I am only pi**sed at myself for all the things I wanted to say but didn’t. And all the things I did say that I thought where the right things to say.
Note to self: Improve on your small-talk and put effort in it.