(08-15-2018, 05:58 AM)Frosted Wrote: I had similar dreams on SM3. It felt like I was healing from social trauma.

(08-15-2018, 09:12 AM)Frosted Wrote: I think it was like stage 2/3ish. I think it was just during that time, but I'd have to go back and check. I also seemed to mature more looking back on my SM3 video journal. It was when I started making the transition from fake alpha to being myself. I'm actually flattered that you want to read my journal cause I have a negative image of how people view me on this forum, due mostly in part to my own behavior.

Anyways, that just gave me an idea. I'm going to go look at my journal too. I could also show you some videos of myself, although I'd have to cherry pick them as I say some really personal shit in most of them. SM seems to dig deep despite how superficial of a program it might look. SM caused the most upheavel in my life from any program I've ran before so far. If you recall that was the time I thought I was transgender and reaching "enlightenment" and a bunch of other delusions. Basically ever since that point my life has been constant upheaval and ups and downs.

I'm also scared to look lol. I might have to have Ben dig it up from the graveyard cause I had told him to take all my old journals and put them in the thread graveyard.

(08-15-2018, 09:31 AM)thor2014 Wrote:

(08-15-2018, 09:12 AM)Frosted Wrote: I think it was like stage 2/3ish. I think it was just during that time, but I'd have to go back and check. I also seemed to mature more looking back on my SM3 video journal. It was when I started making the transition from fake alpha to being myself. I'm actually flattered that you want to read my journal cause I have a negative image of how people view me on this forum, due mostly in part to my own behavior.

Anyways, that just gave me an idea. I'm going to go look at my journal too. I could also show you some videos of myself, although I'd have to cherry pick them as I say some really personal shit in most of them. SM seems to dig deep despite how superficial of a program it might look. SM caused the most upheavel in my life from any program I've ran before so far. If you recall that was the time I thought I was transgender and reaching "enlightenment" and a bunch of other delusions. Basically ever since that point my life has been constant upheaval and ups and downs.

I'm also scared to look lol. I might have to have Ben dig it up from the graveyard cause I had told him to take all my old journals and put them in the thread graveyard.

If you can have them dug up from the grave I would love to read them. The SM journals are far and few on the forum which is a real shame.

(08-15-2018, 09:45 AM)Darkness Wrote:

(08-15-2018, 09:31 AM)thor2014 Wrote:

(08-15-2018, 09:12 AM)Frosted Wrote: I think it was like stage 2/3ish. I think it was just during that time, but I'd have to go back and check. I also seemed to mature more looking back on my SM3 video journal. It was when I started making the transition from fake alpha to being myself. I'm actually flattered that you want to read my journal cause I have a negative image of how people view me on this forum, due mostly in part to my own behavior.

Anyways, that just gave me an idea. I'm going to go look at my journal too. I could also show you some videos of myself, although I'd have to cherry pick them as I say some really personal shit in most of them. SM seems to dig deep despite how superficial of a program it might look. SM caused the most upheavel in my life from any program I've ran before so far. If you recall that was the time I thought I was transgender and reaching "enlightenment" and a bunch of other delusions. Basically ever since that point my life has been constant upheaval and ups and downs.

I'm also scared to look lol. I might have to have Ben dig it up from the graveyard cause I had told him to take all my old journals and put them in the thread graveyard.

If you can have them dug up from the grave I would love to read them. The SM journals are far and few on the forum which is a real shame.

I’ll put my experience up.

(08-15-2018, 01:44 PM)Frosted Wrote: I will ask Ben. I looked at my current SM3 journal but a ton of posts are missing so I think there's another SM3 thread that got put in the thread graveyard. So will do that.

Anyways, to tell you flat out I didn't get laid. If you're reading it for that then I saved you a bunch of trouble. But I did get some benefit, although I was too stuck in my own ***** at the time to realize it so might not have wrote it down eloquently.

Edit: Sent Ben a message although I'm sure he's reading this anyways . I asked him to bring back all my old journals so if anyone wants to read them they should be back up soon. I warn you though there's a lot of mental masturbation and... cringe.

(08-24-2018, 06:31 AM)Frosted Wrote: YES. I remember that. I didn't know what it was either.

(08-24-2018, 09:23 AM)thor2014 Wrote:

(08-24-2018, 06:31 AM)Frosted Wrote: YES. I remember that. I didn't know what it was either.

Its weird its as if women do not want to look at me. As I walk down the road they either look down at the ground or gaze to the side to avoid my eye contact.