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+--- Thread: Concious and Unconcious effort journal (/Thread-Concious-and-Unconcious-effort-journal)
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - AwesomeYoungDude - 04-03-2011
Batman stage 2 seems to bring out very deep issues. For many the last two weeks of stage 2 and the first week of stage 3 are down right brutal. The storm starts to pass by the end of stage 2. I'm in stage 3 and growing stronger. I'm emotionally stronger now. Life is getting good once again.
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - ronatello - 04-03-2011
(04-03-2011, 07:30 AM)batman Wrote: Im 6 days left on stage 2 AM11 this week, and i felt shitty in the past two weeks and ussualy on every weekend. the reason is because i dont think i just lost my best friend because hes married, and now im left alone with no one to talk to. although in reality there are many other that i can go to and socialize with, but i kinda stuck with this guy. and im still trying to let go and accept this feeling for a while now.
so, just like what spiral told me to not give up on this journey of AM11, I've been going out for the last two weeks trying socializing. i went out on a date with friend of mine that i kinda like to club this friday and i felt anxiety in my body the whole night. we were talking and dancing the whole night, i knew she wanted me, but i just to scared to make the move. my mind was telling me about how i am gonna get rejected and she will laughed at me. oh my god i felt like a wussy for not being able to be a man and not caring anything. shes also my friend from salsa class that i joined a couple of months ago and i stopped because i certain reason.
currently i really dont like my social life at the moment. social life had been my biggest problem since i was a child. and up until now i thought that my only last chance is in AM11. if this thing doesnt work, i dont know what im gonna do with my social life. maybe i just get some ordinary girl and get a generic life like other wussy in this world and live miserably...
i hate my social life, i hate going out alone, i hate have to wait for another 4 months for AM11 to finished, i hate that im such a wussy, i hate it because im lonely, i hate that i never been able to hook up with a girl that i like, the girl of my choosing.
i just want to blame life at the moment, i know only wimp do that but i dont care. im done sitting at home and waiting for another 4 months for AM11 to help me solve my social life problem. im starting my cory skyy routine again for the next 6 months. i want result right away, and the only thing it will happened in short time is by doing cory's routine.
Hey, I can totally relate so don't feel like you're the only one here that feels like that because you're not. The only thing I can suggest is to PLEASE YOURSELF. Put yourself 1ST.
Cory's method definitely works but you must be consistent and committed to change (and don't doubt the affirmations...ever!). It will definitely happen.
And for kicks and grins, I'm writing a story that depicts me going back into time to my 9th grade year around Christmastime and giving myself the Cory MM program (!) and all hell breaks loose. It's my story and my imagination and I will put in the story whatever the hell I want to. And yes it's rated XXX
. It's my life, that's all I got to say. Just don't give up. Keep going.
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - Jay - 04-03-2011
I'm currently on day 24 of stage 2 and so far the only thing I've really noticed was resistance, it has only been clearing up these past couple of days. I have really felt like crap the past couple of weeks, I literally hated everything everything my life encompassed, not many good moments. One of the things I got out from it, is that perhaps the program is steering you towards making a choice, if you're so sick and tired of your current situation and there is no redeeming quality to it whatsoever, the decision to leave it behind and go a different (and perhaps a better) road becomes easier. And this decision will stick, because you know that going back to the old and familiar will lead you nowhere (good) and nothing that that you haven't seen before.
It's fine to do some blaming, but don't make it more of a habit then it already is. I'm still in blame-mode as well, but realize that blaming only keeps you stuck, and it's part of victim mentality (you might want to look at this list). No one will change no matter how hard you wish or want it to be. The only person that you can change, is you. Work on that.
Your friend leaving also brings up a great opportunity with it, seeing how well you can get along with just you. If you can be with yourself and just doing your own thing, without feeling dependent of others, you won't have so much neediness towards others because of your fear of being lonely. You know that you're good company to yourself, and that you can handle and amuse yourself without the need for others.
For starters, try meditation, and see how much crap your conscious throws back at you before you're able to oversee your thoughts and become more silent inside.
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - jamboree - 04-04-2011
Good for you Batman! Resistance means its working. Nobody said the training was going to be easy cleaning out all that junk. You would have to deal with it now with alpha male or later with life in general. I get the sense you would not go back but rather move forward and bring out your best self. So you might as well make it a resolve and tell yourself your not quitting.
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - batman - 04-05-2011
thanks guys, really appreciate the support here.
@Jay, yes i bought the meditation set, since lots of people use it and have shared some great stories about it. im on stage 2 meditation currently, and i try my best to always meditate everyday the result is amazing. i become more organized, increase long term memory, feeling present, calm, so on.
a couple of months ago i stopped cory's method because someone in the forum said subs was way better than cs method. so i stopped, but at that time i was using AOS not Alpha. i got decent result using cs method for two weeks, so i have faith that the method is workin due to lots of time consumption routine, but its oke i can manage it.
today i managed to do all three of them, i did my best.
alpha is set to play the whole night...
work is great, life is great, got a great body, spiritual life is great, social life...NOT. lol
hoamm....
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - Shannon - 04-07-2011
The path from beta to alpha is one with stones in it. You stop at stone, and get frustrated. Stone is in your way. Get more frustrated. Stone not move. Kick stone, but only hurt foot.
If stone is small, pick it up, and move it. If stone is big, pick you up, and move you. Stone is only in your way if you let it be.
Resisting what is has a name. It is suffering. But in your suffering, you see something valuable. You see motivation to make changes. Change is good, if you make positive change in yourself. Frustration is negative, and unnecessary, but can turn it positive by making positive change in self. Motivation is good. Anger, frustration, make good fuel for motivation. Turn negative into positive.
Right now, you are dissatisfied, and alpha set is pushing you to become something that makes you even more dissatisfied. You are now caught between fear of change and carpet bombing of mind. If you keep listening, pressure will build until you are sufficiently motivated to make big changes.
Fear does not make you weak. Surrendering to fear makes you weak. But you are not surrendering to fear; you are dealing with it. That's why you feel agitated. Agitation is motivation. Motivation is change. Change is growth. Growth dissolves fear.
Blame is wasted energy. Blame is unnecessary. Blame changes nothing, accomplishes nothing. Blame is empty, waste of time. No blame.
Instead of blame, seek to understand. Realize that frustration comes from resisting what is. What is? You changing is. You becoming is. Old ways no longer fit new ways, developing ways make you grow out of your current circumstances. You become within, before you become without. Outer world will match inner self when inner self is solid. Keep listening. No blame.
Spend time sitting still. Think about why. Ask why. Question everything. Why blame self? Why call self wimp? Why think badly of self? No need. Self good. Just changing. Accept what is, let go of expectations, still your mind, and be. What is becoming will become, and the outer will match the inner. This process takes time. No blame. Forgive and accept. Let go and become.
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - batman - 04-10-2011
(04-07-2011, 05:28 AM)Shannon Wrote: The path from beta to alpha is one with stones in it. You stop at stone, and get frustrated. Stone is in your way. Get more frustrated. Stone not move. Kick stone, but only hurt foot.
If stone is small, pick it up, and move it. If stone is big, pick you up, and move you. Stone is only in your way if you let it be.
Resisting what is has a name. It is suffering. But in your suffering, you see something valuable. You see motivation to make changes. Change is good, if you make positive change in yourself. Frustration is negative, and unnecessary, but can turn it positive by making positive change in self. Motivation is good. Anger, frustration, make good fuel for motivation. Turn negative into positive.
Right now, you are dissatisfied, and alpha set is pushing you to become something that makes you even more dissatisfied. You are now caught between fear of change and carpet bombing of mind. If you keep listening, pressure will build until you are sufficiently motivated to make big changes.
Fear does not make you weak. Surrendering to fear makes you weak. But you are not surrendering to fear; you are dealing with it. That's why you feel agitated. Agitation is motivation. Motivation is change. Change is growth. Growth dissolves fear.
Blame is wasted energy. Blame is unnecessary. Blame changes nothing, accomplishes nothing. Blame is empty, waste of time. No blame.
Instead of blame, seek to understand. Realize that frustration comes from resisting what is. What is? You changing is. You becoming is. Old ways no longer fit new ways, developing ways make you grow out of your current circumstances. You become within, before you become without. Outer world will match inner self when inner self is solid. Keep listening. No blame.
Spend time sitting still. Think about why. Ask why. Question everything. Why blame self? Why call self wimp? Why think badly of self? No need. Self good. Just changing. Accept what is, let go of expectations, still your mind, and be. What is becoming will become, and the outer will match the inner. This process takes time. No blame. Forgive and accept. Let go and become.
YES SHANNON !!!!! I trully understand with you. AND YES SHANNON right now im made that changed a couple of days ago by making a spontaneus moves in my life. im inspired by watching movies such as spartacus, into the wild, 127 hours. these are all alpha man who go out there to live their dreams, chase 'em, fight for 'em.
and yes shannon, thanks to all that resistance now i finally made that change now. my mentor always told me that when the resistance happened in your daily life, its trying to tell me something. it wants to be understand, and when i understood, i effortlessly made the change, and now i finnaly got it. now i welcome resistance, now i ponder about it, i pay them attention but i wont let them control me instead of me being in control.
and im proudly to tell you shannon, that i am a man now. i made my own decisions now, i choose my own path now, im living my life at the moment, and im havin fun with my life for the first time im very grateful for every bad things that happened in my life.
at this moment, im sitting here in BALI !!!! to tell you all that i made a big move by going here spontaneusly. the old me will never ever ever have the balls to take a vacation anywhere because of the fear of dependent to my daily routines.
another inspiration comes from an ads, that im sure you will be inspired after listening to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qekZeTtjXxM
today i finnaly finished my second stage of AM11. and i cant wait for stage 3.
thanks to shannon and those who supports me, spiral, ryan, ben, wildflower....THAT I FINNALY MADE THE CHANGE IN MY SELF !!!!!! I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN !!! EVER !!! IM LIVIN MY LIFE !!! I LOVE MY LIFE !! NOW I AM A MAN !!! A REAL MAN !!!
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - Shannon - 04-10-2011
Congratulations.
I know how you feel. Upon walking around the boulder, though... you discover that a man is not a moment in time, but a journey in life. Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life, and don't forget that the real man is always seeking to better understand himself, and become more and better than what he is.
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - Spiral - 04-13-2011
I love the energy in your post man! Just keep going man and keep enjoying it. Don't let anymore resistance mean anything to you but another bump in the road!
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - batman - 05-15-2011
its been a while since i post my journal, i havent been posting a lot since im just to lazy with my life. i think stage 3 is the worst of alpha male 2011. my anxiety level are too high, you guys know how it is right with this subs. one day you feel like a million bucks, but feeling like a freak the day after. its amazing though, i never thought that i would feel anxiety this much on a daily basis in my life. like most of the others around here, the thought of stopping subs are popping in my head many times. i felt lonely right now, i felt like i had no friends at all, i only felt alive when i am at work, and i only comfortable with people that i knew. last night i come to this gathering in my new office, and i felt like i dont belong there. oh well, its just one of those days right.
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - batman - 05-15-2011
i just want to share my stories concerning women, everything that we have right now is based on what we do in the past right. i'm 100% ya'll agree with me on that one. i've been writing for 2 days now about my social and women biography, and its getting to much so enjoy it man.
My Women autobiography
Hey man, growing up i was always the guy who have low self esteem. i think it was because of my mom who likes to control everything.
she told me a lots of stuff about being a normal guy, dont cause a lot of trouble, be a good boy, and she always get angry everytime i made a mistake. we are a moslem, and in moslem there is this belief that if you hurt your mother, you just made a big ass sin. and also theres a belief that the heaven's located below your mothers foot. when i was a kid my parents are very strict with rules and they also force me to study islams, and i also went to a moslem schools.
My experience with women actually starts when i was 12th and that was right before i finish elementary school, we got this farewell party and everyone is asking each other to be their bf/gf. so, there is this girl that i like and i just shoot for it. ask her to be my gf with a letter. LOL. and she agreed. it only last for 2 months, and we only got out once and most of the time we talk on the phone. and when we were on the phone my mother always get suspicious of me talking on the phone for a long time, so she always screams at me and asking me what im doin, and i always got scared of her for doing that. so everytime me and my gf talked on the phone, usualy it was because of my mom wasnt there, and when she did come, i always hang up the phone really fast. me and my first gf brokeup just before the elementary farewell party, because another boy ask my gf to be her gf and she accepted it. at first i didnt know that she broke up with me because of another guy, i thought that she didnt like me. after 2 days broking up with me, the news came up that she already got a new bf. im not really sad at the moment, but i just felt betrayed by a girl. and i dont like that. and then i went to the farewell party and i saw my gf were in the popular peer group of our school. so i was jealous of this popular group, and at that time i wish i was also in that peer group having lots of fun, got cute girls. and all i did is watching them from the side and playing with my not so cool friends. and also i got this anxiety everytime my ex and me met, its like that akward feeling in my chest and so i often go away when i felt that. even though, when she was still my gf, i also got that feeling. maybe its because i was afraid about what other boys told me, and i always felt that other boys are better than me, they got more money, cool friends, bla bla bla and i dont have that.
then comes the junior highschool, all of my friends went to other school, while my mom told me to stay in the same school. the reason was so that i dont go far from my house, and at that time there are rumours of fights between schools, and she want me to be save. she dont want me to become one of them, and be a delinquit. its fucked up, because we only got 2 class at that moment and not a lot of student there. my first perception of attending the the junior school was to meet new friends, and i want to be popular with other kids and i didnt get that there. while my friends in other school told me that he met a lot of other people there. he met lots of friends, girls, etc and i just stayed there like a chump afraid of my mother and be this litle nice boy for a freaking 3 years. so at that time, i picked up a belief that "i dont have a lot of friends", "im not popular". in junior highschool, the one thats popular was my senior ( a year above me), they even more popular that their senior. so i look up to them to be popular, but i dont get that acknowledgement from them.
there was this girl that like me at junior school, and she told everyone that she liked me. but for some reason, i didnt acknowledge her. and we ended up not talking for 3 years. thats some fuckup shit man and thats not cool at all. in junior high, i watched my friend get a girl, he was popular, become a cover on some teen magazine. and i only can watch them havin fun and all. dont have a girlfriend here, and i learned about masturbation. boy, i masturbate a lot with internet porn and this habit are still present today.
in highschool, i went to the same school again but only for 1 year. the same story goes with junior high, i was never popular dont have a gf and all. then suddenly my parents ask me to go to college in malaysia and i accepeted. im so happy that i can go to college, because from what i heard, college got a lot of students, i got to see new friends, cool people and all. but the same shit hapened again. the college was not popular, i dont see cool people in there. LOL. not so many hot girls around. so there goes again i said to my self, im not popular, i dont have a lot of friends. but in college, i met a friend of mine who got this pretty indian girl with big boobs. LOL. i thought he was popular with women, so i try to befriending him and we did become friends. he took me to his peers, i met a lot of new people. some of them are what you call alpha male. all they did was going to a club, meet women on the club, and fucked. although they are not that pretty, but they get laid atleast. so almost like every week, i went to a club, and all i did was just dancing, just watching pretty girls havin fun with other guys.and almost two years i went clubbin like that without having any girls and all i did was masturbate after i reached home.
i lost my virginity in college when i was 18, and i lost it to someone women 4 years older than me. we met in a club, and for some reason, that night i was very chatty and told random girl that i like her and i want her number. then i got hers. im so happy, i got her number and follow up next week to get together and she agreed. at this time, i got david de'angelo DYD book. read it, and all i know was just busting balls. i think i got some result with it. anyway, i met her at some mall and i met her friends too. and we decided to go to her apartment and drink for a while. her friends was a bartender, a he mixed quite good. after everyone left, i fucked her. it didnt go that well with that girl, because she was older and so on. i did feel guilty because i lost my virginity, because in our religion its also a big sin. after that, i the days went as usual. clubbin, hanging out, masturbate, and so on. until i met my next gf, which i really like. although shes not that pretty, but she has a killer body. maybe its because i watched to much porn, and i really like women who got phat ass. LOL. at first, i just went to talked to her, because i have a belief that shes not that hot, but she got a nice body. and at that time i only feel a litle bit of anxiety when i talked to her. we talk on the phone, go out for a couple of times, then we fucked almost every 2 days and so on. i was really happy with her, because shes open minded with sex and willing to do things that i liked, shes also funny, and kind smart. we broke up because at that time i finished my college study and goin back to my country. when we broke up, she asked me "after you go back, are we still going to be in a relationship?" and i said no so easily. because at first she told me that she was wants this non attach relationship, but i gues we bond pretty deep because of sex and unconciously she wanted to be with me. she cried, i felt bad, i felt sory for her, at that time i wish i could stop her from crying.
when i went back to my country, i dont have any friends at all. feel kinda lonely, and after that i managed to contact one of my friends and from there i met other friends and all. at this point i already know about the PUA community, i read about mystery method, and also other PUA guru outhere. through mystery method forum, i met a friend who live in the same city and we become close friend. we try to go out every weekedn and try to meet girls on the mall and so on. most of the time we were afraid, and we like to blame each other because pushing each other to talk to women. my daily routine of masturbation still occurs here.
I didnt say that i never get anygirls, but thing was i just never get the women that i want, well accept for barbara the one i told you in malaysia. the feeling that i dont want to hurt women, i got this belief i think from an big fight that i saw when i was litle between my father and mother. when i was 13 or 14, i saw this big fight between my mom and dad. first of all, my father had another wife but he didnt tell my mother until 7 years after his secret marriage. after she knew about his affair, theres been a lot of fighting between my mom and dad. everytime my dad came home from "business trip", my mom always got angry because she knew that he went out with his 2nd wife. my dad 2nd wife was his subordinate in his company, he got a really succesfull business in the 90's, and i think he like the feeling of successfull, power, money, and i think most people in that kind of situation are easily tempted with having more including women. they want to feel on top of the world, have the ability to do anything they want whenever they want. well my dad did just that, last time i heard from my mom that he married another women again. my dad is a playboy, and im sure when he did all that he think litle of his family.
i think from the age of 8 - 15, i've seen so many fight between my mom and dad. they used to fight in their room, although they didnt fight in front of us, i remembered that me and my brothers and sisters used to sit in the living room hearing my mom shouting. usually after the fight, my dad went out of the house and leave for another 2-3 days. and when he came back, they usually fight again. my mom used to call us and she told us things about not doing this to our wife. respect woman/wife, treat her good, be nice, dont hurt them while crying. and she did that quite often. she had the belief that she cant do anything about her marriage, she want to save her children even though she had to sacrifice herself. i think my dad did this on purpose, he never wanted my mom to work, to earn money, all he wanted was for her to take care of his children.
When i was 16, my dad offered me a chance to go to malaysia, to study in a college there. and i think i accepted the offer without thinking much. i guess, i want to runaway from this house, not wanting to see these fights between mom and dad anymore. and so i did fly to malaysia, leaving my mom alone. although i felt sory for her, for 3,5 years i left her behind, alone with no one to accompany her in the house and the thoughts of leaving her alone with my dad was something that i didnt want to know at that moment.
I met one of my best friend a couple of months after reach my country. since i want to be popular, i remembered when that i said to my self that i want to be friends with someone popular. and it did happened, i met my bestfriend who likes to come up on the tv commercial. at that time, i was so happy, because the guy had many cool friends and girls and i can meet new people. so i did meet people, nice cool people and fuckup people. the first time i did drugs was with him (ecstasy). i was in a really depressed at that time, and i kinda dont care about what hapened that night. since i liked it, i keep on using it as away of running away from my problem. almost every weekend we went out, and do drugs in our friends house.
the thing is, when i did hang around my friends. i did feel a bit cool, i got that litle acknowledgement from my peers, but i still couldnt get women. my money was gone, i cant work in the morning, at night i went out till morning...life is a mess at that time. at this time around, a couple of girls come into my life. they are a potential gf, but everytime we get closer, i always said to myself that "i dont want to have a gf, all i want is just someone to had sex", so none of those girls become my gf. until i met this girl that i really like and she become my gf for only just 1 month. you ever heard of a saying "the same bird flocks together", well at that time, i think i live a fuckup life, that girl was more fuck up than i am. her family were more fuck up than i am, she became the family's backbone and so on, come to think of it, i should be grateful that i still had my parents together, but hey, when you are in a trouble and become a victim of your life, you only talk and care about your own problem right. you dont give a fuck about what other people problems are.
she's a singer, and she often called to sing at a gathering. she had a freaking lots of friends, guys and girls, powerful peer group that can protect her from trouble. i think i like her because of her popularity, pretty, social peergroup, and so on. i think im the same as my dad who married his 2nd wife for her popularity and all to get benefits...well, at first the relationship is really goin well, you know how it is when two people fallin in love right. everything is beautiful, all i wanna do is be around her. although i often went out of town for a week, everything seems fine. the thing with her was she likes to hurt herself without thinking much. she also had a victim mentality, and she want someone to save her. so, from family, money, love and all she demand that from me. she had a belief that "you need to sacrifice, if you really love someone" and i really disagree with her on that belief but i just didnt say anything about it. everytime im in town, almost everyday i went to see her. just do whatever she wants, at that time i dont really care about where we goin, all i wanna do is be around her. so its kinda like she's the leader in our relationship, and all i do is just followin her everywhere she go. i got sick of this situation, and i told her that i didnt like the relationship we had, with all the drama, money, and i felt like im being used. we broke up, and i felt really sad. i even cry, because i really-really liked her and i thought she's the one. i dont really know why i cried so hard at that time, i think it reminds me of mom and dad when i saw the big fight when i was younger. and after the breakup, i felt abandoned, i wanna go back to her but my mind told me if i go back to her, the same thing going to happened again. so i repressed all my feeling, and it messed up with my work and my life for a month i think.
my best friend also had a really big impact on me, i remembered when i was with them, i cant make my own decisions. all i did was asking for my friends decisions, every time i told my friend that i want something, i always ask for their opinion, and if they didn't like it, i stop. so, with women is also the same. i did that so i can be acknowledge by them. their belief of women was she have to be very cute and all. so, when it comes to women, i often didn't tell my friend if i'm close to anyone.
its been so long since i am with a women now, i mean have a connection with women. i really missed that feeling of belong to someone.i lack the commitment to handle this problem of my life. all i have was reason about why it shouldnt be done. i need a system to remind me about this problem of mine. i need help, i need support, i need to take care of this problem of mine. please someone, help me.
huff....
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - batman - 05-17-2011
haha, last post was another cry baby stories episode. but today has been really profound. the day starts really great followed by a workout and felt refresh as usual. as of today, i still havent got any result with women, and its been 3 months since using AM11 and its the worst month ever. a lot of anxiety come up, sometimes i feel like im a freak after using this AM11. a lot of negative selftalk about my self saying i couldnt do this and that, some days they beat me sensesly and sometime i beat em back.
the feeling and selftalk about stopping this subs has been around my head forever. but i dont know why, i still keep playing this subs. lol.
here is a script that usualy comes to mind
mind: "hey, whats wrong with you? you can do this without the subs anyway...why do you give your power to the subs, as if just by listening to it you will get result. and that result will be another 3 months, but who knows whether you will get it or not. you tried everything but still no result...and so on and so on". im so used to it and im bored, if only i can tell em to just shut up for a moment. lol. im kidding, they give me good signal about my life btw.
huff, like everyone else, i think the result has been really subtle with this subliminal. i think i got some progress, but i dont feel it yet. well, how do i know if i made some progress? obviously, if i get result with women. well that not yet happen. what happened was a lot of anxiety about women.
so, right now my mind telling me to not expect to much from this subs. its telling me to take control right now about this area of your life instead of waiting for another 3 months. well, i had that belief thought, a belief that tells me you will get girls after you finish this 6 months program. and perhaps another 6 months after SM or WM. well, thats too long for me. i want it now...
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - Spiral - 05-17-2011
My anxiety became more noticeable when I began alpha. It's part of the program and it brings these things up to get rid of them instead of just suppress them. I've had no results with women in the last year.. I've met a few but nothing has come of it. If you want results with women you cannot think about the outcome and be open to anything. In other words just go with it kind of thing. But that's where many guys have hang ups and they begin to think of the type of behavior they are displaying and if they are doing this right or this wrong. Instead just focus your energy on feeling good, having a good time, listening to women, and playing with them. It really can be hard for alot of people like me who just couldn't control the anxiety. Just keep going and even if you feel like you could make improvements without these subs I'm sure you can but they will help speed the process up. I know for sure I've gotten down on myself so much about how I "can't" do what my friends can do.. what do they do different? It does kind of aggravate me that I've had to get help and listen to these subs... but They've helped me get up off my ass and do something about it. I'm finally taking control of my life and taking it into the direction I want to take it.. slowly but surely. I know where you are at man and it's a damn pain in the ass... just take a walk outside.. and smile.
Btw.. I'll make a suggestion... try out the Positive thinking sub. I don't know if you've been a negative person for most of your life but I sure have and the alpha male sub didn't address it as much as I'd hoped. but in conjunction with positive thinking everything is so much better.. and I know I can have things the way I want them to. All it takes is some patience and initiative to get yourself out there and experience the world. Take things much slower than you are used to.. it will help.
RE: Concious and Unconcious effort journal - Ryan - 05-17-2011
batman, I had a lot of anxiety come up from stage 3s and onward. I don't know if you're doing 2011 but I know the results are a bit different from 2010 folks... I can say that on my good days I have no anxiety... and this is coming from an extremely anxiety ridden guy who had to seek help a few months ago. But I have to say the biggest improvement has been from the sub...I still get it here and there on my bad days but it's been really improving a lot lately in stage 5.
And PS... do yourself a favor and read the book "Mode One": http://www.amazon.com/Mode-One-Women-REALLY-Thinking/dp/1591138973