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+--- Thread: Alpha male... exhausting :/ (/Thread-Alpha-male-exhausting)
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - somebodynew - 08-23-2013
AM Stage 2 Day 25
Okay 7 more days to go - i stopped having ups and downs last 3 days and feeling really nice - but today was a chaos. Job hunt is going really great, a lot of companies are interested for me - but until enter - that interest doesnt mean a lot, right
Today was day when i exploded, entered house and my family started attacking me about a lot of stuff, i tried to tell them its not okay - they continue and i exploded , i exploded all over the place.
Said everything that i meant, ( it was strange how i was so stable while saying this ) they didnt wanna let me finish senteces like they always do its always "WE , WE , WE " and they were shouting.
I tried once more to tell them that its my life, and its not okay to interfiere in something i dont want them , they started even stronger and i got up and shouted 5 senteces so loud that i think they got affraid for a moment, then i sat down and said can we talk like normal people instead of you shouting.
But as it goes, they started attacking, i was really calm talking inside and out , mother started crying etc... and she was ssaying some really mean stuff to me ( i didnt to her - i just said my opinion ) and she starts crying in end ( and i should be the one crying ) - i just turned and said "This is so you, when you cant win in argument you start crying and wait for me to feel bad and stop - not this time"
anyways ... i dont feel bad, i feel okay Lets see what goes in next 7 days
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - somebodynew - 08-30-2013
Stage 2 Day 32
Today i am finishing with stage 2 so i will write report from stage 2.
First 2 weeks i had major mood swings which led to being angry/depressed - but after them they all went away .
Had couple of dreams which last was today - mostly in dreams i am fighting and then when i feel alone - a "new friend" comes and stands by me. I am more comfortable when entering anywhere, feel very loose and i dont ask premission for anything but i am more kind to people. I am at moment - analyzing whats happening and not jumping to conclusions - its funny how people get lost in their subconcious and start spinning around. I am thinking and trying to make more money - so i need to leave country which i will tell you is almost impossible as NON EU citizen . But i am looking for ways because i am high deegree/quality employee - and I WILL FIND WAY.
What happend
- Body is more relaxed
- I got back in shape - down on body fat 11% and having atheltic look again
- Diabetes is under control in great way
- Been angry most of the time on some small things
- Conflict with a lot of people ( always had but now on higher level )
- Constantly working on my dream ( i was always really hard working person - but now i have clarity when i am doing something "its like matrix - i see code" )
- When i want something i am working on it ( always did this - but now have calmness and as i mentioned in upper row - i have feeling that i know what i am doing and i am not spinning around )
- Working skills jumped in last 2 months more than in last 8 months
- I am thinking about making more money all the time, so i started working on going out of country - going trough some really roght stuff because of this - i am working + 4 more hours on already 10 working hours every day including sathurday and sunday - getting a lot of rejections because OF BEING NON EU CITIZEN but i will find a way.
- Its all about bussnis , literally thinking only about that - forgot about anything else.
- Girls, approaches become easier and smoother - like hot girls "belong" to me ... and if i want them just come and introduce myself
-I am not talking anymore a lot - just sitting and listening - when i want to say something i say it direct and short. People arent complaining or saying anything even though they should maybe because i am not like that - so i am expecting that in future
- More taken care of - hair/skin/clothing always in place
- More cleaning of room, apartmant - tidier
- Angry/depressed a lot - like i am having no tollerance for people who are close to me to act like idiots ( by idiots i mean like children - THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT cause they are not children)
- on the other hand more carring towards younger people
- Wanting to help people who dont have money - i need to make money first
- Diabetes under great control
- Walk is more calming relaxing , like i am walking somewhere alwways with a mission ( have mission since age of 16 - but now like i am walking towards it when i walk )
- Getting looks from people - yestereday girl was passing with her boyfriend i reammeber shirt ( have no idea why - it was strange ) - so i went to toilet and someone tapped me on sholder - i turned and it was her . She gave me her number on paper, and told me "call me" she was hb 9 really nice body.
- Vivid dreams of future, fighiting , loosing - then "new friend" coming ( random people in diffrent dreams but noone close to me ) and helping me with things cause they are right.
- Less going out , sitting at home and thinking ( before i went 5 times a week out even though i work 10h per day + workout 1h - i would go out and not sleep)
- Enjoy being alone more.
- When i am out i am really enjoying everything - even air that i breath
- Having warm feeling inside me and need for partner - which i didnt have for i think 5 years
- almost forgot how it feels like to have a girlfriend ( not just friends with benefits).- Mood swings
- New ideas
anyhow this pretty much sums it all in STAGE 2
Stage 3 - starting tommorow.
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - MJ1 - 08-30-2013
(08-30-2013, 03:54 AM)somebodynew Wrote: - When i am out i am really enjoying everything - even air that i breath
it's because of being in the moment
wow great journey man,looking forward for updates and good luck!
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - somebodynew - 09-04-2013
STAGE 3 DAY 5
Okay i am working a lot these last 5 days - ( around 15h - at night i do trainig and go to bed) ...
I am not that tired since i am getting 8 hours of sleep and my concetration is good for now - we shall see if i continue for how long it will last
When it comes to stage 3 nothing is happening (Famouse moment when everybody is asking themselves "IS subliminal working" ) so i am watiing to see what happens
I am not socializing a lot so not a lot to talk about. One thing i am feeling is higher sexual drive, "my friend" telling me to go out and have fun.We shall ese when this chaos goes and in future of my subs usage what i will expirience.
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - somebodynew - 09-09-2013
STAGE 3 DAY 10
I am angry again, i think i am angry about anything that looks like "not proper behavior to me" from my close ones. My presence is stronger.
I am becoming irritaed a lot by people - but on other hand i dont keep quiet i say what is bothering me and calm down really fast.
But there are "electric shocks" going trough my body as i get really angry from time to time
I am talking a little - mostly observing ( as i mentioned really strange for me ) -
Working really a lot - and working out. Been in club only once this week (really strange for me ) and had a blast ... - so manny girls where do i begin (flo rida)
I am self centered more and acting like world is spinning around me - not in arogant way - just feeling.
What is strane i am sometimes being even more carelles than i was when i say something - this is one of aspects which i dont llike when it comes to changing - always been known as someone who says what he means but now its becoming to much.
Having a lot of energy ( suceeding in working 12h (6 days a week) working out 1h15min(4times a week ) + going out)
Determinantion is strong, very strong. i think i will try Woman Magnet or Sex Magnet next ... depending on what will i want in future.
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - somebodynew - 09-14-2013
@Shannon i was wondering
I read and understand that Ultimate sucess cant be used with AM ... i really need that to get hierd at the moment - so if i used it - would it maybe make 10% diffrence? by this i mean that
90% takes AM and US 10% - evn that would mean a lot at this moment for me
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - somebodynew - 09-15-2013
Stage 3 day 16
Had a dream last night ... i was fighting with some kind of "fish" like creature and at end fish poped out - i ate it ... and bone stuck in my mouth - the bone was like my height ( belive me funny situation ) and i was pulling it out of me ... and when i pulled it out it looked like tyranosaurus rex bone.
Still looking for ways to get out of country because of my non EU/US citizenship - going trough cause right now. I am going to buy Ultra Sucess to help me with this - but have to finish AM ( and as i read they cant be combined together)
Alpha male is playing around 14h per day (8 during sleep) and 6 during day)
So what is new - i started having new moments with myself - they are totally new. It happes to me that i start thinking someting with myself - that i caught myself couple of times - that everything around me dissapaers. Like i am the only person out there - and noone else. Its not that kind of thinking "oh how will i act, oh what to do in front of girl"
Its like i am with myself and not carring whats around me - got couple of times so shut down that some loud noise, light or someting got me back - and i thought to myself "Where was i?"
Last night i was talking with hot girl and she was telling me something - i got so shut down, (like i went somewhere else ) and at one moment she asked me "Are you here? Where are you? and it was like splash of cold water - i again asked myself "Where was i ?" and todl her "No i am listetning to u" ( even though i dont reamember a thing she said )
- Feeling of everyone is hating me is coming back, i feel like nobody likes me and that i am a sh*t. Yesterday got in fight - i am really trying to control myself but its not working - I tried being polite but then i said something that i meant (to much belive me ) and of course other side started fighting with me. But i said i dont give a fuck to them ( and meant that ) - "Fix yourself and then we cant talk"
- In meantime i started going out - and got rejected by 2 girls ( it wasnt a reject but girls tend to get affraid of me ) so they are always trying to find escape way "Oh i want sure" and than tomoorow they send me message/or dont send that they cant - when i get that kind of flake ( who doesnt if someone doesnt get at least 20 flakes per year they have never been trying to get girls ) i am alywas on point and tell them how rude they are "
This time i didnt care what they said - just replied "I dont give a damn, learn how to act like normal person and than we can talk"
one of them was shocked... and asked me "What do you want to say"
Just replied immediatly
"That u are without manners, my time costs - u could have sent message that u are not coming - see u in some other life"
thats it pretty much for new stuff.
I am confronting every little thing that is not okay.
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - IronSmooth - 09-15-2013
Love the posts. Keep em coming.
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - somebodynew - 09-18-2013
@IronSmooth thank you!
Okay guys i am in big problem - i need to start using Ultimate Sucess to help me get hired - but dont want to stop with AM
i have no idea what to do
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - Shannon - 09-18-2013
It's not a choice. You CAN'T stop using AM. Read the instructions. Once you start, you commit to finishing.
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - somebodynew - 09-22-2013
@Shannon... okay then lets continue with this
STAGE 3 DAY 23
When i said it was rough in previouse stages/weeks - now depresion/being angry is 10x stronger. I am literally shaking when something sets me of - and i unload everything that i have on other person.
Been fighitng with my friends/parents - people that i dont know
Also i am being attacked by random people who just meet me saying that i look "to proud" - "think that i am the shit" bla bla bla .... which is ridicilouse because i am mostly being silence/observing.
In last week i was attacked by 2 girls (diffrent times ) that they are better than me, and that i am "shit" ... It would be nice if i talked in company, but i didnt because i was in my mind - talking with myself about problems that i have. One of them was sitting next to me, and i didnt even look at her (belive me i am stuck in my head thsi days that i get shutdown from enviroment - i think if Pamela Anderson came and asked me to have sex with me i wouldnt notice her at that specific moments) - so she started attacking me - and i told her that there is no point of attacking me, because i am quite in my place not disturbing anyone - and then she started aggain ( she got notice ) - i literally demolished her mentally.
There was no reason for being rude to me ( because i didnt give her my time, what she is HB9 and i have to talk with her and droll over her because she is hot like any other guy ?) - so after 5 sentences everyone was shut. And i could see in her eyes that she was very upset.
She was saying i am a Jerk to her best friend ( even her best friend took my side which was funny ) - i juts shut down again and went to some other place, again thinking about something else .
That after 15 minutes i saw that look in her eyes (You didnt bow down because i am hot, on the other side u showed me where my place is when i am rude - take me please and have sex with me)
Because i didnt even care about that ( imagine bringing her in my life with sex, then i would have to fight with some drama ever fricking day ) - i said "see ya guys" and she said "See ya jerk"
So i turned and said "Some other time we will fix that frustration you have with rough sex" and left.
Anyways - i got out and was walking to my car - and saw girl walking by, i have no idea but i looked at her and our eyes met, she was looking at me - and gave me a smile while she was passing by. So i stoped her and asked her for her name. had conversation for 2-5 minutes, and said i need to go - she literally threw her number at me. This was great ego boost, after that girl screaming at me on party.
When it comes to dreams, in last 6 days i had 6 - 5 of them is having sex with diffrent woman (some of them i know, others dont ) - and i have no idea how my brain is choosing this girls - but mostly it considers chaeting on their boyfriends with me ( akwarrrrrdddd ).
There is so much sexual energy in that dreams that i wake up shaking from adrenalin.
Beside this, i am getting inside myself a lot - ( i mentioned this ) - sometimes it scares me that i am so shutdown and dont notice loud enviroment.
Yesterday i was walking in crowded space, and some music was playing there was around 50.000 people there - so very noise. At one moment i got lost , didnt hear music, people, bumping in people - and when i came back it was a like a splash of water "where the hell was i?"
This sometimes scares me, i never had this strong expiriences - mostly i like to observe whats happening around me - not anymore - i just stare at one dot and move eyes around.
Diabetes is under much better control.
Working out 3-4 times a week- really strong workouts.
I am not going out that much anymore.
And I am having feeling that everyone is hating me - literally hates me. But every time i get out i see its diffrent, i dont have urge to go out - sometimes i am on weekends at home enjoying myself. Which is really strange for me.
When i am talking to people - i am very short and precise - and what is making me go crazy when people are to insecure and start talking to much, just to confuse you with some random topics -in argument. I literally get on fire then, and say some really mean stuff.
I am much slower, rational, dont get emotional at all ( finally - meditation is helping with this a lot)
Thats it ... wanna see whats gonna happen in next weeks.
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - stratos - 09-22-2013
I love how women getting angry at you - especially hot women calling you a jerk - is really often their sexual desire. I remember one girl I was ignoring who called me an arrogant asshole and then we were friends for years after that, we laugh about her initial attraction now and it's part of our friendship. They are not used to being ignored when they are 8+ or treated casually.
I read the other parts of your story - can I suggest 5-10 minutes a day of simple breathing meditation, listen to your breath and allow whatever thoughts/feelings to come up naturally without resisting them but not dwelling on them. Or tapping FEFT as others have mentioned here.
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - somebodynew - 09-22-2013
@stratos
I have tons of girls who are my friends and they all called me jerk ... i have 2 of them which i really love - and every time this 2 see me they would start conversation "Omg.. how much i hated you - but then u are the best guy i met"
Its one if biggest paradox in world
About meditation i am doing 15-20 min per day guided.
RE: Alpha male... exhausting :/ - stratos - 09-22-2013
Hate=you make me horny, angry, pissed, you are too great
a special kind of hate