(12-19-2025, 09:16 AM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote:

(12-19-2025, 04:02 AM)Frosted Wrote: Oh okay. Yeah to be honest I'm not too sure. It's kind of all a blur to me since I'm in a different emotional state than back then. I can't remember how I felt, I just know how bad it used to be even if I can't feel it in my memory anymore. I don't know for sure how much the rest of my trauma was based on attachment, but I'm certain I had severe attachment issues.

Interesting.  I can DEFINITELY still.feel hose kinds of thins in my memory, even though I'm feeling a lot better lately. I'm glad to see those emotions are such a distant me.ory for you. I think that just highlights progress you've made!

(12-19-2025, 02:06 PM)Frosted Wrote: I just discovered I might actually be an extraverted type. I've always struggled with what type I was. Was I an INFP or an INFJ? I even briefly considered INTJ, but it didn't really make sense. I was talking to Gemini (AI chatbot on par with ChatGPT) and it said I sounded like an ENTP after I had a long conversation with it. At first I blew it off (me, an extravert? Pfft impossible.).

But the more I considered it, the more everything seemed to suddenly fit into place. ENTPs are widely considered the most introverted extraverts, and my trauma explains why I need to recharge so often when around people. When I'm in social flow, I feel like I'm gaining energy, sort of like how an extraverted person is supposed to. But when I feel self conscious, socializing feels like its takes energy.

I recently just had a bunch of fun with friends. It feels like forever since I had that much fun socially. I usually always feel too logical and in my head. That taste of fun has me wishing I could be running WM3 right now... but oh well. That'll probably be for 2027. I'm thinking this year might be a dedicated healing year (PTSDRA + BROP) and after that I'll either continue healing, or move onto AM7 and see where things go from there.

(12-19-2025, 02:06 PM)Frosted Wrote: I just discovered I might actually be an extraverted type. I've always struggled with what type I was. Was I an INFP or an INFJ? I even briefly considered INTJ, but it didn't really make sense. I was talking to Gemini (AI chatbot on par with ChatGPT) and it said I sounded like an ENTP after I had a long conversation with it. At first I blew it off (me, an extravert? Pfft impossible.).

But the more I considered it, the more everything seemed to suddenly fit into place. ENTPs are widely considered the most introverted extraverts, and my trauma explains why I need to recharge so often when around people. When I'm in social flow, I feel like I'm gaining energy, sort of like how an extraverted person is supposed to. But when I feel self conscious, socializing feels like its takes energy.

I recently just had a bunch of fun with friends. It feels like forever since I had that much fun socially. I usually always feel too logical and in my head. That taste of fun has me wishing I could be running WM3 right now... but oh well. That'll probably be for 2027. I'm thinking this year might be a dedicated healing year (PTSDRA + BROP) and after that I'll either continue healing, or move onto AM7 and see where things go from there.

(12-22-2025, 02:17 AM)Frosted Wrote: After having an AI analyze my journals I realized I'm super focused on internal stuff. You know, I never really mentioned it, but at some point I started earning more money. It kinda just happened. It's nothing special, but I'll be saving a decent amount. I expect in 2 or more years I could start pursuing my goals more directly without worrying so much about my financial security. I kind of got hung up on only reporting the internal stuff. I kinda just realized I should stop worrying so much and accept the kind of person I am, and incorporate that into my overall plan. I'm going to save up while healing and go from there.

I also focused too hard on the spiritual stuff in some of my previous journals and maybe gave the wrong impression despite some of my attempts of framing things properly. The spiritual experiences were states, not permanent stages. There's a difference between having a peak experience in isolation and maintaining it to the core of your being in everyday life, or even in the roughest pits of hell that reality could throw at you. I've moved away from the hardcore pursuing of these states for now and have mostly just been being a normal person for the most part.

Interestingly for the user @callie , the AI specifically said I seemed to be stuck in a freeze state. It also said I likely had "disorganized attachment". I didn't really ask about anything in this direction, it just came up with it on it's own. Thought you might find the data interesting, if nothing else.

(12-22-2025, 05:42 AM)callie Wrote:

(12-22-2025, 02:17 AM)Frosted Wrote: After having an AI analyze my journals I realized I'm super focused on internal stuff. You know, I never really mentioned it, but at some point I started earning more money. It kinda just happened. It's nothing special, but I'll be saving a decent amount. I expect in 2 or more years I could start pursuing my goals more directly without worrying so much about my financial security. I kind of got hung up on only reporting the internal stuff. I kinda just realized I should stop worrying so much and accept the kind of person I am, and incorporate that into my overall plan. I'm going to save up while healing and go from there.

I also focused too hard on the spiritual stuff in some of my previous journals and maybe gave the wrong impression despite some of my attempts of framing things properly. The spiritual experiences were states, not permanent stages. There's a difference between having a peak experience in isolation and maintaining it to the core of your being in everyday life, or even in the roughest pits of hell that reality could throw at you. I've moved away from the hardcore pursuing of these states for now and have mostly just been being a normal person for the most part.

Interestingly for the user @callie , the AI specifically said I seemed to be stuck in a freeze state. It also said I likely had "disorganized attachment". I didn't really ask about anything in this direction, it just came up with it on it's own. Thought you might find the data interesting, if nothing else.

What do you mean by “freeze state” exactly? The term gets used to mean a lot of different things, and there isn’t really an established scientific definition of it. Polyvagal theory is probably the closest coherent framework we have in my opinion, but even thats still a model and not a widely adopted science

Trauma itself can be understood as a kind of freeze state in the sense that unfinished survival responses remain frozen in time within the system. Depending on how blended you are with those frozen parts, the more “frozen” your overall experience will be, there are clear degrees to this

When I talk about freeze I’m mainly referring to autonomic freeze in polyvagal terms which is a system wide immobilization thats physiological and regulatory first and foremost, not something psychological. If too much survival activation (trauma) is brought up without being properly integrated, it creates enormous stress, and once that stress exceeds the systems regulatory capacity over time, the autonomic nervous system can collapse into a "global" freeze state

Thats different from what I think most people mean when they casually say they’re in a “freeze state”, so I’m trying to understand what definition you’re using

(12-22-2025, 10:57 AM)Frosted Wrote:

(12-22-2025, 05:42 AM)callie Wrote: What do you mean by “freeze state” exactly? The term gets used to mean a lot of different things, and there isn’t really an established scientific definition of it. Polyvagal theory is probably the closest coherent framework we have in my opinion, but even thats still a model and not a widely adopted science

Trauma itself can be understood as a kind of freeze state in the sense that unfinished survival responses remain frozen in time within the system. Depending on how blended you are with those frozen parts, the more “frozen” your overall experience will be, there are clear degrees to this

When I talk about freeze I’m mainly referring to autonomic freeze in polyvagal terms which is a system wide immobilization thats physiological and regulatory first and foremost, not something psychological. If too much survival activation (trauma) is brought up without being properly integrated, it creates enormous stress, and once that stress exceeds the systems regulatory capacity over time, the autonomic nervous system can collapse into a "global" freeze state

Thats different from what I think most people mean when they casually say they’re in a “freeze state”, so I’m trying to understand what definition you’re using

I asked the AI for clarification and it said it was using the same framework you were talking about. It said the confusion might have come from me likely being in something called "functional freeze" where I can function in the world, but I'm not really "living". It said it was basing things on physical symptoms, not just vague emotional symptoms. Terms it mentioned (if it says "you", it's referring to me, since I copied and pasted a section from the chat I was having with it): 

Dorsal Vagal State: The "shutdown" state associated with immobilization, dissociation, and the "freeze" response. (This explains your "rot," fatigue, and "golden cage").

Ventral Vagal State: The "social engagement" state associated with safety, connection, and joy. (This explains your recent "laughing gas," "euphoria," and desire to socialize).

Sympathetic State: The "mobilization" state associated with "fight or flight." (This explains your earlier panic, anxiety, and "paralysis demons").

Functional Freeze: A mixed state where you are not totally immobile (you can still work and save money), but your internal experience is one of numbness, detachment, and "going through the motions" without true connection.

Metabolic Conservation: The biological drive to "hibernate" or hoard energy, often manifesting as chronic fatigue ("giga tired") even when resting.

Somatic Symptoms: Physical manifestations of the nervous system state, such as your "excruciating gut pain" and vomiting (since the Vagus nerve directly regulates digestion).


The earliest data I gave it was from 2022 (my earliest published journal. I've been using subs since 2015.). I didn't give it all my journals, but the earliest, the latest and a few in between.

(12-31-2025, 02:48 PM)Frosted Wrote: I've decided to continue with regular PTSD instructions until I hear back from Shannon. The instructions state different factors for the CPTSD like running it 4 months instead of 2 which made me think it might be a good idea to wait until this run is over before I overcomplicate things.

(01-03-2026, 01:15 PM)Shannon Wrote:

(12-31-2025, 02:48 PM)Frosted Wrote: I've decided to continue with regular PTSD instructions until I hear back from Shannon. The instructions state different factors for the CPTSD like running it 4 months instead of 2 which made me think it might be a good idea to wait until this run is over before I overcomplicate things.

Wise choice.  I suggest you get an official diagnosis before trying to run CPTSD settings, unless you can find strong evidence from verified sources (NOT a damned LLM!) that you actually have CPTSD.  LLMs are notorious for being factually questionable, even after you specifically prompt them for accuracy.