+- Subliminal Talk (https://subliminal-talk.com)
+-- Forum: Men's Journals (18+ NSFW) (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals-18-NSFW)
+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: OSC 6G (/Thread-OSC-6G--11709)
RE: OSC 6G - User_000 - 03-15-2025
Indeed, i care less about others the more i keep with OSC, i just quit watching streamers, before it was entertaining but now i just get bored, it can be said the same for regular videos, i care more for the content rather than who is sharing it, lately i keep remembering my bad experiences dealing with people and my mood is not the best, sometimes i just want to see everything burn but that's just my anger, also i keep feeling tired for some reason, maybe something to do with my anger.
RE: OSC 6G - User_000 - 03-23-2025
I think i'm improving, one of my anxiety symptoms consisted on one congested nostril, getting tired and a bit dizzy, also feeling i can't breathe well, just a few days ago when i went out (which makes me feel anxious since unconsciously i believe on the possibility someone could kill me) i felt dizzy which was weird, since OFv3 i never got only dizzy again, then lately i've been feeling it with less intensity and my body gets tense but i only get dizzy nothing else, doesn't make feel like shit which is great.
For the past few days i've been dealing with my compulsive thoughts, same shit as usual, imagining getting killed by a sniper, someone attacks me with an axe, a piano falling on my head and whatever shit my mind comes with to make me feel fear, i just had enough and stopped thinking, don't know how but it worked this time, now i can consciously turn off my wandering thoughts and rest my mind, the first day was a weird feeling, like getting dizzy but comfortable at the same time, then today i just realized i never perceived other people as human beings, only as threats, some shadows roaming my mind and then i just put the image of persons on those shadows and noticed it, that threat was just another human being just like me, there was nothing special, even if it tries to kill me it won't be something from another world, even i could face another human being by myself, most likely this was a belief that was formed when a was a kid and everyone else seemed bigger than me, but now they are small, even a 2 meters guy seems small and fragile, there is nothing special about it, what a joke it was this shit, maybe i can start to relax.
RE: OSC 6G - Shannon - 03-23-2025
Fear is usually the belief in some imagined "threat" that isn't real, but responding to it as if it is real.
RE: OSC 6G - User_000 - 03-23-2025
Looks like the threat no longer exists, just a moment ago something happened that would have triggered my perfectionism and that would have made me feel like worthless shit but my mind is just like "i don't care" and to be honest i don't feel like caring about that mistake, what is so great about trying to do everything perfect? never thought i would think that in my life.
RE: OSC 6G - Shannon - 03-23-2025
(03-23-2025, 07:09 PM)User_000 Wrote: Looks like the threat no longer exists, just a moment ago something happened that would have triggered my perfectionism and that would have made me feel like worthless shit but my mind is just like "i don't care" and to be honest i don't feel like caring about that mistake, what is so great about trying to do everything perfect? never thought i would think that in my life.
I smell progress. Sounds good to me!
RE: OSC 6G - User_000 - 03-29-2025
Since last week my left gums have been hurting more than i'm used to, this is a rare anxiety symptom i had since OFv3 but is so uncommon that there was no need to get into details, so what happens is just that a part of my gums start hurting for a couple of hours and then pain disappear, always happens when i feel anxious as hell or like shit, but since last week started hurting more both up and down which is weird, one day i just took a painkiller and started feeling tired, then my head started hurting and i was getting dizzy but at least my gums were fine, since then they don't hurt as bad, only a bit, and at times i get dizzy as i stated before but at least i can breathe just fine.
RE: OSC 6G - Shannon - 03-29-2025
Fascinating. I wonder what triggers the location of the pain.
RE: OSC 6G - User_000 - 03-29-2025
Maybe has something to do when i went to the dentist as a kid, those were some of the most painful and horrible events of my life, sometimes pain took me down for the whole day, making my head hurt as hell as well as my gums, lots of anxiety, anger, fear. The pain i felt this week kind of reminded me of those times.
RE: OSC 6G - Shannon - 03-29-2025
(03-29-2025, 01:02 PM)User_000 Wrote: Maybe has something to do when i went to the dentist as a kid, those were some of the most painful and horrible events of my life, sometimes pain took me down for the whole day, making my head hurt as hell as well as my gums, lots of anxiety, anger, fear. The pain i felt this week kind of reminded me of those times.
Quite a valuable insight. Thank you.
RE: OSC 6G - User_000 - 04-01-2025
I just noticed something a few days ago when i was trying to sleep, everything was quiet, not only that day but before and after and didn't notice, i don't hear my tinnitus (the one that started when using OFv3), at most sometimes i can only hear a faint beep but aside from that everything else is silent.
RE: OSC 6G - Shannon - 04-02-2025
VERY interesting! A scrap of a clue about tinnitus... thank you for that.
RE: OSC 6G - User_000 - 04-02-2025
The only change i noticed was a decrease of my hyperactivity, as if my body couldn't stand still before, it was either put pressure on one of my muscles or put pressure on another part of my body, the same occurs when fear response is triggered, my body gets ready for running away (and puts pressure on my stomach for some reason) but now i can relax it without triggering more adrenaline which is very helpful.
RE: OSC 6G - User_000 - 04-05-2025
I wonder if this is helping me with my learned helplessness, probably not, right as my mind wanders to things i might like i just shut it down, why bothering? is it worth it? don't have enough drive to get myself to even try, everything will be easy as long as stay still, that's what i believe deep inside, i know that's shit but my emotional being is stuck right there, i've been more active this past month but guess i just stopped complaining.
RE: OSC 6G - User_000 - 04-09-2025
Looks like i'm getting more afraid from getting hurt by other people, thoughts like carrying a weapon and how to use it fast keep getting into my mind, even though i explain to my younger self that i'm not in danger, it's not like i personally feel like i'm in danger but feels like a lingering fear and some part of my mind wandering into those scenarios, there is something that's also bothering me, unconsciously i also get scared when thinking about harming others, i realized this when as a kid i couldn't land a punch practicing martial arts and instead started crying for whatever reason, consciously i don't have enough empathy for caring about hurting others but deep down there is something that's scared as hell, even i don't know what could be, perhaps i was sentenced to death in my previous life, jokes aside, this is getting annoying, i'm not planning to do shit unless provoked (let's hope nothing happens) maybe i need to try luck with OGSF, by the way it's already 2 months so the first run is complete, think i have done pretty well this time.