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+--- Thread: Sean's AM Journal (/Thread-Sean-s-AM-Journal)
Workout illustrates nonreactiveness - Sean - 12-18-2012
Last night's gym session was instructive:
During my squats, I had a few poor form issues, which cost me a lot of energy. My next exercise was the overhead press. After the first set, I started the timer on my phone and set it down. I was very tired, and did not pay much attention to where I set it. During the second set, I lost a little balance and had to reset my feet. This is while the bar was loaded to 115lbs and overhead. When I brought the bar down, I clipped one of the uprights on the stand with the left side. The right side continued down uncontrolled, smashing my phone.
Because I did not clamp the weights, the right side unloaded it's 35lb plate before the left side landed on the rail. I unloaded the left side, put the bar back on the uprights, reloaded both sides, and continued with the exercise, finishing my sets.
Deadlifts went well. Then I was doing Lying Triceps Extensions, where I lay on the bench, press an ez-curl bar over my chest, and then rotate my elbows and shoulders back to drop the weight down behind my head. During the second set, I managed to hit myself square on the peak of the front of my forehead. I finished both remaining sets without drama.
The edifying part of this whole workout is that neither the crushing of the phone nor the self-headbutt changed a damn thing about my workout. The phone is an insured toy, so I'm not bothered; and the bar hit me in the strongest part of my skull, so I was uninjured. I just took care of business, doing what I had come to the gym to do. I ignored the "WTF" looks I got with the phone crush incident, and I couldn't tell you if anyone noticed the bar hit my head.
Before AM, the phone crushing would have derailed the entire workout, and likely I'd have not completed it. Last night, I just did what I came to do, and these minor annoyances were no cause for distress. Without actual cause to deviate from his plans, Alpha doesn't.
Another interesting point: I was about to type "only my ego was injured" but that's akin to saying that my toenail clippings were injured, because ego injuries don't hurt me now. For those of you who only lurk around here without journaling your progress, epiphanies like this are a great reason to do so. Had I not been journaling my progress, I'd have missed this important detail.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Shannon - 12-18-2012
Yeah, life is a lot smoother and more chill with AM.
Link from Mat's journal - Sean - 12-19-2012
(12-19-2012, 01:51 AM)Shannon Wrote: You also are doing something I have done a lot in the past, and that is trying to assume responsibility for everything, even if it's not yours. I used to get so upset because I thought I had to do everything perfectly, be perfect, be everything to everyone... and it was killing me. Then I had someone say to me, "Hey, Shannon, get over yourself. The world is not your responsibility. You're not perfect, and you never will be. And you cannot do a better job than the best you can do. Stop trying to be perfect, and be everything to everybody, and do everything perfectly. Perfection is a journey, not something you'll ever achieve in this life."
This strikes me as if written by my own hand. I've assumed full responsibility, and the attendant load of guilt, for so many things that have happened that one friend asked me if I also killed President Lincoln. I wrestle with this problem occasionally even today, though it is becoming less of a concern as AM5 progresses. I think OGFS and Forgive Yourself may be in my future. We'll see how much more of that is eliminated by WM2's scripts.
Shannon Wrote: Today I saw the power of AM 5.0 + OF.
Wow.
I was going to share what has me so wowed, but it's not really appropriate to kiss and tell.
Just... wow.
Seriously??? Shannon, you're killing me here. I've resisted the temptation to add anything to AM5 for four months, and the last thing I needed was more temptation to break my own advice to others about singletasking subs.
RE: Link from Mat's journal - K-Train - 12-19-2012
(12-19-2012, 09:49 AM)Sean Wrote:Shannon Wrote: Today I saw the power of AM 5.0 + OF.
Wow.
I was going to share what has me so wowed, but it's not really appropriate to kiss and tell.
Just... wow.
Seriously??? Shannon, you're killing me here. I've resisted the temptation to add anything to AM5 for four months, and the last thing I needed was more temptation to break my own advice to others about singletasking subs.
Oh thank goodness SOMEONE pointed this out. He had me hanging on the edge of my seat and then he pulls a batman and just vanishes refusing to tell the whole story. You're killing me Shannon, you're killing me!
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Yuri - 12-19-2012
yup same here.
oh btw does anybody know if moving a sub to itunes then to iphone affect sub value? i just need to be sure because i want to start using headphones more.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Tiesto - 12-19-2012
(12-19-2012, 04:26 PM)Yuri Wrote: yup same here.
oh btw does anybody know if moving a sub to itunes then to iphone affect sub value? i just need to be sure because i want to start using headphones more.
I think it's fine, because that's what I do as well. I used to use my iphone, but since it's broken, now I use my ipod, and with AM 5.0 I strictly use earbuds only (8 hours/night) attached to my ipod, and it is having strong effects on me.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Shannon - 12-19-2012
A gentleman does not kiss and tell. Suffice it to say that I really enjoyed the outcome. But I will say this. I started using OF because I saw myself succumbing to some fears about doing things I needed to do to advance further into my growing success, and OF has freed me of the fears that were holding me back. It, and Stage 6 of AM, are together making me utterly fearless with women and it's getting ridiculous in the last couple days how easy it is becoming.
Tonight I was at trivia and a waitress I saw 7 months ago and was admiring, showed up out of the blue. Last time, I wanted to say something, but I had no idea what to say, how to open, blah blah blah. This time, I saw her, and I was already mid-conversation before I even realized it. "Oh, hey, Amber, I haven't seen you in a long time, where ya been?" As if we had been long lost buds forever. It happened without a second thought, and she stopped working instantly to sit and talk with me. Which she did for several minutes. And then I gave her my number and she was off to work again.
Now whether or not she'll call me, I don't know. But, regardless, this interaction was just as natural and completely uninhibited as last night's... and I am loving this.
I waited to Stage 6 to add OF for a reason, by the way, and I added it specifically to continue advancing toward my goals in success. But you are going to be able to use OF during Stage 6 also, I can see.
I'm not sure where I would start it in AM 6.0, yet.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 12-20-2012
(12-19-2012, 09:45 PM)Shannon Wrote: A gentleman does not kiss and tell. Suffice it to say that I really enjoyed the outcome. But I will say this. I started using OF because I saw myself succumbing to some fears about doing things I needed to do to advance further into my growing success, and OF has freed me of the fears that were holding me back. It, and Stage 6 of AM, are together making me utterly fearless with women and it's getting ridiculous in the last couple days how easy it is becoming.
I waited to Stage 6 to add OF for a reason, by the way, and I added it specifically to continue advancing toward my goals in success. But you are going to be able to use OF during Stage 6 also, I can see.
I'm not sure where I would start it in AM 6.0, yet.
My question was targeted more at the combination of OF and AM5: your romps are none of my business beyond what you choose to share. If K-Train or Yuri want to know what happened, that's their business.
Why did you choose to wait until Stage 6?
Is this a recommendation to me (as opposed to Yuri or K-Train) to use OF with Stage 6 of AM5?
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Spiritman - 12-20-2012
What does OF stand for?
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 12-20-2012
(12-20-2012, 02:19 PM)spiritman Wrote: What does OF stand for?
Overcoming Fear
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Spiritman - 12-20-2012
(12-20-2012, 02:21 PM)Sean Wrote:(12-20-2012, 02:19 PM)spiritman Wrote: What does OF stand for?
Overcoming Fear
Oh yeah duh lol Thanks
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Shannon - 12-21-2012
(12-20-2012, 09:51 AM)Sean Wrote:(12-19-2012, 09:45 PM)Shannon Wrote: A gentleman does not kiss and tell. Suffice it to say that I really enjoyed the outcome. But I will say this. I started using OF because I saw myself succumbing to some fears about doing things I needed to do to advance further into my growing success, and OF has freed me of the fears that were holding me back. It, and Stage 6 of AM, are together making me utterly fearless with women and it's getting ridiculous in the last couple days how easy it is becoming.
I waited to Stage 6 to add OF for a reason, by the way, and I added it specifically to continue advancing toward my goals in success. But you are going to be able to use OF during Stage 6 also, I can see.
I'm not sure where I would start it in AM 6.0, yet.
My question was targeted more at the combination of OF and AM5: your romps are none of my business beyond what you choose to share. If K-Train or Yuri want to know what happened, that's their business.
Why did you choose to wait until Stage 6?
Is this a recommendation to me (as opposed to Yuri or K-Train) to use OF with Stage 6 of AM5?
Stage 6 is a polishing and finalizing stage. Most of the changes have been made, and they're just being set and polished in Stage 6. So there's little chance of de-railing anything from introducing something like OF.
My experience has been good: if you wish to follow my lead, feel free.
RE: Sean's AM Journal - Sean - 12-21-2012
(12-21-2012, 09:11 PM)Shannon Wrote: Stage 6 is a polishing and finalizing stage. Most of the changes have been made, and they're just being set and polished in Stage 6. So there's little chance of de-railing anything from introducing something like OF.
My experience has been good: if you wish to follow my lead, feel free.
I'm totally up for it.
Holidays - Sean - 12-26-2012
Stage 5, Day 19 in progress
It seems like holidays in the latter half of the year represent a time when barriers are thin. For Halloween, tradition holds it is a thinning of the veil between life and the afterlife. Christmas seems to be a time when internal barriers wear thin. I see this evidenced by the "holiday blues"* which affects many. For me, I feel a lot is changing, and the barriers between feelings and logic have been very thin. I notice a great deal of what I feel is lacking in my life; while feelings are treacherous indicators, my Christmas pattern is jolting. I get to spend Christmas Eve with my family: my children, my parents, and whichever relatives are in town. Christmas Day is typically spent with my partner, and this year I have none. I don't like it.
I had planned to go to my parents' place for Christmas Day, but I ate a lot of foods with gluten in them, and I've been abstaining from those for several months. This gave me a tremendous headache, and my stomach has been uncomfortable. I spent the day in my room, eating little and drinking water to allow my system to clear. I also spent a lot of time sleeping, which is why I'm up at 2:30am.
I know better than to eat like that, and I've never broken my eating pattern to this extent before. I'm paying for it. I chose to indulge a momentary pleasure which I knew was not in my best long-term interests, which isn't how I want to live. I believe an alpha consistently makes good choices for his own health.
This is where it gets tough, and I think that Shannon's suggestion of OF is going to help during Stage 6. I feel like I've backslid on my progress, and I have a fear that I haven't "made it", so I worry about starting WM2 in February. I'm filled with doubts, which have shown themselves in the posts I've made here in the past few weeks. Shannon's guidance on the matter has been not been substantial enough for me to feel like I know the criteria for making the right decision, which seems to be a clue in and of itself: an alpha would know, right? He'd be certain. I'm not: not right now. That's why I tell myself I'll make the decision in February.
tl;dr version:
And as I type this out, I had a minor epiphany: this is exactly the kind of self-doubt instilled by the Ego in Revolver. I have my very own Iago, and he's in my head. This lends credence to Shannon's suggestion to use OF during Stage 6. I want to start sooner, because I want to banish fear from my life.
Shannon: during what stages of AM5 is it OK to use OF or OGSF?
What should my daily exposure be to each product maximize efficiency?
I tried searching for this information, and found a secondary source which said it was OK to use OF during stages 4, 5, & 6, but finding AM-specific timing yielded nothing to my search skills. I plan to take the answer you provide and make it a FAQ-worthy post in the Men's Product Questions area, and if the information applies equally to the AF product, I can make a duplicate post in the Women's product area as well.