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+--- Thread: DMSI 3.2 Magnus (/Thread-DMSI-3-2-Magnus)
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 12-03-2013
So I took a much needed break from subs. There was a few things I needed to work on and work through and I've found taking that break has allowed me to solidify and new comfort zone. What once seemed difficult is now not so. BY this I used to feel uncomfortable in houses and places that I hadn't spent a lot of time in, this is now no longer the case. I can feel at ease and at home in a lot of different places now.
I've started back on a refresher of NSFM and I must say I still very much enjoy how much more this puts me in a state of flow from a social point of view and in life in general. I realize that's not really the intended effect but it seems to have that effect on me.
I plan on continuing on NSFM till the new year at which time its a toss up between LTU and AM6. The main thing for me is that it includes OGFS which I do need to run as the more I look at it the more I see fear holds me and has always held me back in life.
I've also read a little about FEFT on here and while I never found any benefit from EFT in the past I thought I would give FEFT a go and see how it works for me.
That's about it for now. Time to get this growth moving again and move into the next phase of my life
RE: Journey to social greatness - Fonzy3 - 12-03-2013
Cool Jim, i'm currently finishing up my run with "Deep Gratitude and Appreciation" and the changes are going pretty deep. I can only imagine how great LTU will turn things in the future. Sounds like you're really receptive to subs to begin with, so i'm looking forward to hear your results this time around for NSFM. FEFT will definately help you out in terms of your fear and anything holding you back. Goodluck with your subjourney.
Thanks
Fonzy
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 12-11-2013
Thanks Fonzy, This sub in particular I seem to be very receptive to and it seems to put me into a nice state of flow. I found with AM I grew a lot but was hit with resistance the whole way through. I was riddled with anxiety most of the way through due to resisting through fear. WM wasn't so bad as that had OF in it which seemed to help me.
I had an experience in the weekend that on reflection showed how much I have changed over the last few years since I've been on this journey. On Friday night I headed out for our yearly work function and found myself quite easily being able to socialize with others around, My words and conversations were flowing and fitting in nicely with everything that was going on around me where as I quite often struggle with unintentionally interrupting as I think people have finished talking. So having finished the work function I bumped into a few friends at a bar we chatted away and decided to head off to another bar. Then one of my friends bumped into another girl that he knew. This was the sort of girl that all guys turn to look at, the girl that has guys fawning over her. So we got to talking as we are both smokers and were outside having a cigarette. She then asked if we could go out the front as we were smoking out the back.
her: "Lets go out front"
me: "Why?"
her: "I need someone to wait with me outside while my ride comes to pick me up"
me: "But I just got a drink and want to go inside to drink it"
her: "You know I always get what I want"
me: "oh yea"
her: "Are you single?"
me: "Yea"
her: "If you come outside with me i'll hook you up with one of my hot friend"
me: "No I want to drink my beer and catch up with mates"
her: "Come on" Grab my hand and start pulling me towards the door, then tries to put her arm around me
me: "I'm staying in here"
Eventually I get myself free and she disappears. The thing was here that I genuinely wanted to stay inside and have a drink with friends so I did just that. I wasn't thinking oh if I play hard to get she will want me, I just genuinely didn't care in a way. A few years back I would have said sure i'll come wait with you in the hope that she would give me more love and attention or maybe even if I was OH so lucky have sex with me. That for me is a testament to how much I have changed.
I also joined toastmasters this week. Went along for my first meeting tonight, was very nervous but at the same time I took action in the face of fear and I need to do this more and more.
Shannon I noticed you mentioned about EHPR in your journal. Got to say I'm excited about this one I have been hoping something similar would come out for a while now and there it is. Its also just been made the top of my subs to listen to list once it comes out
I was thinking would this not make a great precursor to AM for those who struggle with a lot of resistance?
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 01-12-2014
So started on Emotional pain relief and healing aid 3 days ago now. There has been some interesting dreams coming up so far, these dreams aren't showing my fears but have been showing me what life would be like without any fears or insecurity.
I'll be documenting a lot more about my dreams rather than just what appears outwardly as I suspect this sub will be doing some heavy inner lifting and changes
The first dream that I had was around my ex. I expected this would crop up as even though I have been through events that most other people would consider a lot more traumatic, this for me was the most traumatic time of my life. In the dream me and a friend were out in town clubbing but weren't feeling it that night so decided to leave he drove off with me in the passenger seat we ended up at my ex girlfriends place, I was really nervous and scared going there but once I arrived there I got into this mood of I don't care anymore I didn't feel any fear or anxiety or insecurity at all I just genuinely didn't care. Then we ended up hooking up, it felt fun and exciting but at the same time like I had let go of all attachment and expectations. She told me she was hooking up with another one of her ex's and that he was better than me, It didn't phase me in the slightest. This whole time she was getting feistier and feistier, she just couldn't seem to get enough of me. For me a whole load of my insecurities, fears and anxieties just didn't exist anymore.
The second dream wasn't quite so vivid. I was over at a friends house and outside were a group of guys that I would generally find very intimidating. When I went to leave they started making fun of me and being a bit threatening. Again I didn't care I ended up poking a bit of fun at myself and at them and laughing with them for a while and having a good chat.
So far very interesting. I've been feeling a little down but I've been sick so can't tell whether its from the sub or not.
The rest of my life is going well. I seem to be able to connect with people more so than ever having made good friends with my flat mates and generally being a bit more comfortable around other people. Work just keeps improving year on year now, I'm getting more responsibilities again this year including co-running annual reviews on 15 staff that I help manage and running the largest projects in the company. So there's bound to be another good payrise again this year so more money to buy subs
The improvements at work have been really consistent ever since I used AM2011, not just work but productivity in general.That about sums it up. I'll add some more later on but I have to say for someone who's sick and just back at work after the holidays I'm in a very good space.
RE: Journey to social greatness - Fonzy3 - 01-12-2014
Hey Jim, sounds like your consistent success with subliminals comes from following your instincts as well as consciously the direction you want to go, no matter what resistance or issues come in your way. That balance has done your mind wonders. Keep up with the posts and looking forward to see your progress. You sounded quite fearless in those dreams, let's focus on having our next step stronger than the last.
Thanks
Fonzy
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 01-15-2014
Thanks Fonzy. Most of the time while doing subs in the past its only been looking back in retrospect that I have been able to see that any changes have been made, in the moment I'm usually to racked with anxiety and resistance.
So the last couple of days I've been feeling really positive about my life for no particular reason at all. Its just a feeling that everything is OK in my life and as it should be. I've noticed myself starting to free up a little more in social situations and in life in general. I've found myself almost getting pulled towards emotional release techniques like FEFT, i'm thinking this may be OE2 in play.
I've switched to listening during the day lately so I can allow myself to rest and get over this cold at night. While doing this I've noticed the night time dreams have stopped.
That is all for now.
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 01-16-2014
So I got struck by a heavy bout of anxiety yesterday and a need for validation which lead to me trolling dating websites with no objective other than trying to get validation. The anxiety I faced was the worst I've had since the beginning stages of WM2 last year so I knew something deep was being worked on.
I woke up today in a very different space, feeling a great sense of freedom and an ability to connect with others that I haven't felt for a long time. I noticed I was a lot more chatty and the usual insecurity and stutter that is in my voice was gone. Feeling very positive again.
Another interesting thing I noticed was that a few people have been talking to me about the emotional traumas they have faced in their lives which lead the way for me to talk about the traumas I have faced in my life. Could this be yet another instance of OE2 working its magic, if it is it's very freaking cool to say the least. I've also found the yearning to learn faster EFT has increased and find myself watching the youtube videos every morning and evening on the bus as well as tapping whenever I get a chance. I can't say I've noticed a huge difference from FEFT yet but will continue and see how it goes.
No more dreams but I think this is due to the fact that I am using it during the day instead of the night at the moment. Will see what happens when I switch over to night time use this weekend.
All in all been very impressed with the results from Emotional Pain Relief and I've only been on it 7 days so far.
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 01-20-2014
The dreams that I've had the last couple of nights have been some of the weirdest I have ever had while on subs.
The first dream was that I was being spooned by another guy. I felt a great deal of comfort and assurance but felt no sexual feelings what so ever, I can't say who the guy is here because it's a public forum but no the less very weird. I woke up feeling a bit disgusted in myself. I don't know what this relates to but it was definitely touching on something.
Last night I had a few dreams where I was very angry and yelling at anyone and everyone that got in my path. I know I've always had issues with not expressing anger so this one was no surprise. The expressing anger was helped a lot by AM but obviously still has a fair way to go before its handled.
I've been feeling a little flat and almost depressed the last 2 days but this may well be due to the fact I was out late on Saturday night and started early on Monday morning. I have still been noticing that people are becoming more and more open about talking about the trauma and emotional pain they have suffered in their lives which leads the way for me to also talk about the trauma I have faced. Have had a few feelings about my ex resurfacing to be dealt with. It still amazes me that things that I am so sure I have dealt with resurface again just on a different level.
EPRHA is hitting on some heavy stuff, can't wait to see what life is like after a few months on this
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 01-22-2014
Something very deep is being worked on at the moment. I don't know what it is but it feels like its shaking me down to the core of who I am, it's unlike any feeling I've ever had before even on other subs.
Its left me feeling a little depressed but at the same time OK with it. In the past I've always felt anxiety when something deep was being worked on but this time there is none.
I will have to wait and see where this leads to, one thing I do know is that wherever that is it will leave me a completely different person to where I was when I started this.
I've noticed less fear when confronting certain situations, in the past I would push through but now there is nothing to push through. I think back to the past and I can remember but can't relate to a lot of the situations that occurred. It's odd remembering but not being able to relate, I know it was me but it doesn't feel like it was me.
That is all for now
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 01-23-2014
So I can feel a drive starting to build a drive to move outside of what I consider safe and in my comfort zone and to expand on that.
I woke up this morning and had a drive to get a good morning routine going, this is something I've been missing for many months now and it seems a great way to start my day. I've noticed a change in the last to days where I won't put up with my own excuses, I've realized the last 6 months I've been living comfortable but while that's easy its not growing me and moving me forward to who I want to become.
RE: Journey to social greatness - K-Train - 01-23-2014
Hey Jim, when you tested P18 did you notice any build up effect? Like when you exposed someone to it constantly did it make results better?
On topic: Your progress is pretty fricking impressive. It reminds me of when I did ASC except with ASC there was some fear but I felt confident enough to push through it. If you're doing this sub there's a good chance that some of your prior programming like WM and AM might begin to become more and more prominent since there's less crap to cover it up so I wouldn't be surprised if you started seeing a surge in interest from women.
By the way, the dream about the guy spooning you probably had to deal with some sort of shame and/or guilt. Homophobia is really prominent in certain parts of the US and I know growing up at my school that people who were thought to be gay got teased and picked on relentlessly. Even guys who weren't gay became so fearful of being called guy that it they would be extra careful to not do anything that might make them seem gay to avoid the teasing. So maybe the dream has to do with your subconscious giving a big middle finger to all the fear, guilt and shaming programming and allowing you to leave freely?
Either way, good to hear from you man, good luck and keep us posted. How long you planning on running EPRHA?
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 01-28-2014
Hey K-Train. I've never really had the chance to expose someone to it constantly as most of the girls I have been with have been one night stands. What I have noticed is that some girls will react quicker than others and some will shy away when higher volumes are used and others get turned on more. The girl from the story in your thread for example took about all of 15 minutes before she was trying to get me to f**k her. On other occasions it has taken 1-2 hours. I generally find that they are around the 45m - 1.5h mark though.
Yea dude it hasn't been without its downsides of course, I've had some really strong resistance in the way of making every excuse in the book not to listen to it. It's very off and on at the moment but one thing that it is working on is my ability to talk in groups, which is something I've always had an issue with. I've been finding myself becoming more and more honest as well. This comes from self validation I think, I'm not so worried about what people will think of me if I say this or that. I'm hoping it does help improve my programming from WM and AM but I gotta say I've actually been noticing less interest from women since I've started running EPRHA.
Been running it for 19 days so far. Although its been very haphazard, I've been missing 1-2 days a week on average at the moment due to being out and about and not having anything to listen on so I need to get that one sorted.
That's interesting about the guy spooning while being gay is generally accepted and Homophobia isn't a big thing where I live it was back when I was younger it was a big thing. I remember people teasing me when I was younger and changing my last name to Gay. So it's quite possible its dealing with some of the teasing I received when I was younger.
Anyway I plan on running EPRHA for at least 3 months and I'm hoping it will deal with a lot of the crap before I ran AM again leading to a bit of a smoother ride this time round
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 02-04-2014
I've had 3-4 days of very heavy resistance but I can feel the walls starting to crumble and its making way for a clearer mind and a greater inner peace. The last 3-4 days before this I was exhausted, couldn't concentrate, depressed and just felt like hiding away from the world. I was one step away from stopping yesterday.
Today has been quite the contrast I've felt free and happy, a sense that everything is OK in my world. I've started to notice more and more people opening up to me. Strangers which in the past would have scared me have become easy to talk to even people who physically would have intimidated me. I've felt more love for everyone around me and this has lead me to become a nicer person while to being able to set down boundaries and be assertive.
Women have started taking a bit more of an interest as well. Last Weekend there was a few people visiting my flatmates at my house, I had never met them before but I found the girl very easy to talk to even though I found her attractive. In this instance I had not had a single drink, This has never happened before. In the past I would have clammed up and not been able to talk through fear unless I had had a few drinks. This alone is a major breakthrough for me.
Plenty of other experiences happening like this. Like last Saturday night I was out for a stag do and we ended up at a strip club and it was near the end of the night and one of the last strippers was on. I had a couple of dollars left so I went up and gave it to her. She leaned down to kiss me on the check and I lent in and started hooking up with her, she went along with it as well. Afterwards I was a little shocked at what I had done as even on AM I wouldn't have been able to take that bold of an action with a stripper at a strip club. In retrospect I probably should have asked what she was up to after her shift and invited her along with us but oh well.
Plenty more stuff going on but that is about all I have time for right now
RE: Journey to social greatness - Magnus - 02-19-2014
Lately I've been having days when I am at a place of complete peace and acceptance within myself. I've felt a lot of the old crap that I used to hold onto being ripped away from me. Its swinging backwards and forwards at the moment some days are amazing and others are almost the opposite but I know for me this is just an adjustment period while I let go and move on.
I've noticed that self validation is starting to rise lately. Its coming through in stopping of approval seeking and doing and saying what I want to. This self validation has been a lot stronger and more genuine than anything I had felt during AM. For me I just needed to work through a lot of my past and let go of a lot of fear and shame. Before I could take on some of the qualities that were attempting to be instilled through AM.
Shame is almost non existent these days but I still have a fair way to go when it comes to fear but that is all just a matter of time.
One thing that has become apparent to me over the last week is how much less angry I am internally. In the past I would have constant judgement about myself and others running through my head which caused me a great amount of anger which was never expressed. These days there are very few that come up. Again this comes back to self acceptance.
People are wanting to be around me more and more and I've had to start saying "No" a lot more from stopping myself getting burnt out due to going out to much but on the flip side of the coin I don't feel the need to go out so much, I enjoy my own time.