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+--- Thread: AbyssRockstarXXX (/Thread-AbyssRockstarXXX)
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - Spiral - 03-01-2012
What is your blog rainbow?
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - RainbowAbyss - 03-01-2012
no blog yet-the last few days I
have just been researching how to get started with all this things
I am also brainstorming ideas. It would be 'self-improvement' related
but more like a mix of practical modern philosophy/spirituality both to life and more age relevant and modern situations and as applied
to simple enjoying and expanding one's own subjective experience. I just want to open the doors at least to perspectives and possibilities that others might not be aware of. Another big thing I want to talk about is resolving or at least living with paradox. A kind of distilled and condensed version of topics, credit due always where it is due, and subjects that have always helped me and some of my friends.
I have always wanted to do it but never thought I was at the point in my own life where I was consistently successful enough/happy enough to write anything-but that is just my own resistance bs-I'd rather just put it out there with the disclaimer that I am still in development and hope it is useful, or at least motivational/expanding, to some-and as my life gets more and more where I want it to be-where it would objectively seem like something to learn from/inspirational I will change the format to be a launching platform for an ebook related business.
In any case its obviously more of a journey blog than an authoritative source but I intend to present material that is more contextual than content oriented and will always allow the reader to have their own authority and experience be ultimate, rather than change anything in particular based on my advice,- hopefully their experience will be enhanced with anything they learn.
The blog is also a way for me to become more accountable in the world
In any case the blog will be more oriented towards men and some things I want to cover
1. Routines to reorient out of sleeping through your whole life
2. Developing internal awareness to map out a personal issues-creating anchor-images and words for recognizing those patterns and then realizing their message and then flipping them.
3. Formulas for keeping life in long term movement through present moment focus(grossly simplified):aim, know what you don't know, immersion, action in small chunking and momentum building-keep cycling.
4. Trait development through exercises both solo and in the world-self trust, willingness, indifference with the right kind of caring, intensity and intentionality etc.
5. How to make modern socializing a spiritual activity-
6. Enlightened Narcissism
Any way I have a lot of organizing and my goal is to create an incredibly detailed map of self development that integrates various models of my understanding and then will discuss each aspects more from metaphysically to detail oriented, I am doing it as much for me as anyone else and it just seems like a fun thing
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - Spiral - 03-01-2012
Wow that's really detailed and deep thinking right there. I've also had a blog on my mind and it keeps coming up when I think of money making ideas. I may get the writing sub from Shannon in the future but that's distant future. Right now though I have a goal set to write 5 blog entries in my new blog. It's for me to reflect on and hopefully other people get something out of it. I'd like to integrate it with my youtube channel as well. In the mean time I'm still thinking up new money making ideas.
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - RainbowAbyss - 03-02-2012
check out the Rich Dad's CASHFLOW Quadrant: Rich Dad's Guide to Financial Freedom by Robert T. Kiyosaki
It is totally changing my understanding of what making money is really about.
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - RainbowAbyss - 03-02-2012
one woman who asked for my number, after 2 minutes of meeting her,texted me 3 times this week and I told her where I was going but I was not going to be there long-she texted she was in a cab heading there..I really did not want to see her that night and when we met up she invited me back to her place-and when I said I was going home-tried to come with me-I basically just sent her in a cab back home-I almost felt bad for her..she is cute but she is just not what I am interested in right now and I was not feeling it.
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - RainbowAbyss - 03-05-2012
Feeling really down the last couple of days.
I seem to have had/have a minor cold and am walking up feeling not just physically but emotionally
awful as well. Things seem to be recovering so we'll see.
The set is getting very weird in general. What is most obviously the manifestation aspect is happening more and more as of late but I seem to be attracting people I am not really interested in-. What I mean by obviously manifestation is that these woman either follow me, approach me-OBVIOUSLY-while talking to me and/or ask me to go places with them and/or downright asking propositioning for sex. The last two woman who did this I wasn't particularly interested in.
Although another thing that seemed like a manifestation the was pretty cool was when I was at this house music concert at a club in NYC I turned around and bumped into one of the 'hottest' woman I have seen, in a while-without thinking we both just kind of start dancing and making out-with some minor but surprisingly interesting talking in between.
Literally third week into stage 4 my standards for who I was willing to sleep with just shot through the roof over night.
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - RainbowAbyss - 03-06-2012
Healthy again,
My life and the way I feel seems
to be literally re-enacting the exact same emotional
patterns and insecurities related to woman, and relating to woman, that have plagued me in the past. On top of it all there is an ok-ness and a sense of my self deserving more
with life and woman that is growing and growing.
The pattern I seem to be enacting now is-
a form of contented hopelessness. I feel ok with myself and attractive woman come across as goddess. I am struggling to act out of my own intentions and looking for sighns and cues of permission for everything again. I feel uncomftorable around woman I am attracted to in general-unless I am physical moving, introduced to them, or approaching (which is the last thing I want to do now-not of anxiety-just don't want to do it-kind of like stage 5 alpha).
My mindset doesn't feel very attractive or magnetic but below it all there seems to be a complete indifference-although it bothers me superficially.
@Shannon-what exactly is occuring with stage 4 and why do I get increasingly negative and depressed the last week or two of stage these stages but feel so great in the begining?-
Anyway in general I am doing very ok and feel more capable than ever-forget results-I just thought at this point in the set I'd FEEL and THINK very differently about the subject matter of the set-and this thinking would translate into different behavior and desires-but right now I feel very little desires outside of quenching this subtle angst and anti-social patterns lol.
When I push myself to go out at night consistently I build momentum very quickly and great stuff happens ,at least half the time, but thats always been the case with me- just going about my life nothing seems to different-I'm not even getting much interest from woman-which is whatever-blah lol-I'm a little concern the set is no longer effecting me. Actually one way it is definitely effecting me is that most guys, that I don't know, annoy the fxxxking shxxt out of me.
What I want is to be confident in this area, to talk to woman I am interested in and/or have them come talk to me-to relate in a way that is man to woman and feels really fun-exciting-connected and sexual-I want to feel emotionally non-needy, which is the case mentally for me but not exactly emotionally. I want to feel and see in real world that who I am being is enough and that I am the kind of person who just ends up with awesome woman everywhere I go. Whether its just a great connection, sexual, or committed girlfriend. Right now this feels further pretty far out of my reality-but writing it down is inspiring me.
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - RainbowAbyss - 03-08-2012
and my intentions have come true..
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - K-Train - 03-08-2012
(03-08-2012, 10:42 AM)RainbowAbyss Wrote: and my intentions have come true..
Really Rainbow??? You can't just leave us hanging man! What intentions?
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - RainbowAbyss - 03-09-2012
(03-08-2012, 05:41 PM)K-Train Wrote:(03-08-2012, 10:42 AM)RainbowAbyss Wrote: and my intentions have come true..
Really Rainbow??? You can't just leave us hanging man! What intentions?
well I appreciate your curiosity
but I thought it was an obvious reference to the post above the ones I mentioned earlier:
"What I want is to be confident in this area, to talk to woman I am interested in and/or have them come talk to me-to relate in a way that is man to woman and feels really fun-exciting-connected and sexual-I want to feel emotionally non-needy, which is the case mentally for me but not exactly emotionally. I want to feel and see in real world that who I am being is enough and that I am the kind of person who just ends up with awesome woman everywhere I go."
that is how I started feeling after I wrote that post-ask and thy shall receive.
and that night one lovely woman, the bartender, invited me to a party this weekend, and another lovely woman, a patron, gave me her contact information to hang out again if we didn't see each other at the bar again. Honestly any results like this are secondary to how I feel-but I was feeling the way I wanted to feel-and the being the person I wanted to be- so that was my intention.
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - RainbowAbyss - 03-09-2012
I feel like I am dreaming all the time
I feel like my life is a dream-a distant dream
Me and my friend are testing out ingredients for
desighning our own energy drink
We mixed some caffeine, panax ginseng, ginko bilboa
choline bitetrate, DMAE, and Rhodiola, I felt
amazing for like an hour and then exhuasted, I took
a nap and had a lucid dream! I remember completely being aware I was sleeping
and controlling the main character, I had to make jump out of a wooden tower on a mountain
before some bomb went off after kung fuing and shooting the gaurds-I jumped out and then made a hang glider
appear-it was amazing! It felt like such a rush-then my hang glider broke-but I had a parachute and landed on some
emerald green hills with sheep lol.
Last night I had a semi lucid dream where I was at a mega fancy house party that was really a front for an assassination war
between two clans of mutant ninja. My job was to assassinate the female members but I kept sleeping with them and leaving them alive. Finally the head of my clan got really upset and gave me a slow burning cigarette that was really a giant bomb-I had to smoke it with one the female members and then blow their headquarters up-but I just ended up sleeping with her instead and somehow she disarmed the cigarette bomb during sex. REALLY WEIRD haha.
I am so ADD these days its scary
I think its just mental exhaustion from the sub.
Would some brain wave entertainment, i.e. holosync help with this or
increase it?
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - K-Train - 03-09-2012
If you have the Core States of Awareness Kit use the Beta track twice a day (except late at night). I used it myself to aid me in the same situation.
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - Spiral - 03-09-2012
I have had some add very recently too since starting the alpha set. it's on and off but that sounds awesome with those dreams and feeling like in a dream when you are awake. I kind of get that feeling. It's like a cloudy feeling but when you engage people you are just intune with them and listening and enjoying yourself. at least that's how I feel most of the time these days.
RE: AbyssRockstarXXX - RainbowAbyss - 03-11-2012
Last night was super fun
this British girl came up to me at the end of the night
looking for an after party
I told her we could get some beer and chill in my dad's old studio
which was in the neighborhood. She got her friend who ditched some dude she was with,
I kind of felt bad for him, and we all went back to the studio-played some house music and took
turns hooking up.
Tonight I went out to the spot where my friends girlfriend works and it was kind of awesome in the beginning and then I had to much red-bull and alcohol and was being way to crazy. I have a date with a really sexy philosophy major, yes!, but got 'rejected' pretty badly a couple times too lol. Club scene is another world-unless I'm dealing with a really chill chick with some heart-there really is not much room for 'error'. Some of the woman there looked simply amazing-my next intention is to interact with those kind of woman in that kind of scene in the way I envision my best self would.