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+--- Thread: DMSI V3.3.1 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal PART 1(Closed) (/Thread-DMSI-V3-3-1-5-5G-Shadow-s-Awesome-Journal-PART-1-Closed)
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 12-14-2018
(12-14-2018, 07:06 AM)Shannon Wrote: Do you realize how beta you make yourself sound in these posts? One gets the impression that you live to serve and please this dancer girl.
There is some truth to what your saying, There were some events in her life that kind of left her out in the cold so to speak. Which sure at the end of the day is on her I had to step up and help her out since in the posts with out going into a lot of detail is pretty bad, basically I had to take care of her because of situations that went on who's fault wasn't her own. So on the surface it looks like I'm doing everything for her but I keep a lot of the stuff out of the public cause didn't want all of it out there.
The good news that lately thanks to your program and thanks to me getting her back on her feet it's much less of a codependent relationship or one which she uses me. It's more I feel sorry for her.
This sub has finally enabled me to comfortable walk away if I choose to and know I could easily find someone else and it be ok. So many times I don't mention it as much as I should but a lot of girls are popping up and will replace dancer and these other host of friends I've been putting up with. So I give credit where it's do for making like you said the best sub's in the world
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 12-15-2018
Day 9
(Mourning)
Did my early mourning workout at the gym. There was a group if black girls working out they just happened to stop in front if me and chat among them selves. They seemed to be into me I was kind of a hurry to get done, plus I like really wasn't,t attracted to them, only their attention on me so I moved on to the next workout machine. They had some other girls that kept trying to sneak looks at me, or funniest they thought by looking st me I was going to get scared and look away, I stared this girls down with unshakeable eye contact.
Later went and had breakfast and her friend and her daughter, I,ll call her tall girl. I would stayed with them for dance practice but since my boss got issues with me going off and showing up at other people's events we thought it might be better to hold off for now. I had grown up with tall girl back in the say so she knows me pretty well. She seemed pretty into me as well so you never know might be potential there. As tall girl made effort to try to talk me. Well see how things go if I hang out with them more.
(Afternoon)
Stopping in the burgerking across the street to get some change, they had a group of about 4-5 black girls and 1 guy with them. I always in there they was like all eyes on me as a group, despite the guy there. I wasn't really attractive to them, but nice to get noticed. Other that pretty much noticed my self just feeling over all confident while I was out doing my errands and stuff. Moving forward
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 12-16-2018
Day 10
(mourning)
Had my weekly meeting. Pretty quiet had a increased boost in confidence and more a willing to open up and by myself. Also becoming more indifferent to people in general where they like me or not. Most of the girls in my weekly meeting are older crowd so very little attraction from any to them. Nurse and singer girl are they only exception but at the moment feeling like I could careless what they think or felt. I am thinking about making some changes in how the setup is with dancer, which I have planned on doing but never really felt strong enough to do. Anyway moving forward.
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 12-17-2018
Day 11
Average day more or less today. The main thing of note After work I was at the store had a couple of black girls doing some shopping they kept running into, always past me extra slow clearly into. I wasn't so much attracted to them. Only attracted to their liking me. So of course I'm indifferent to them. I have noticed that a lot many times ok looking girls be attracted to me, and I just like the fact they are attracted to me. So far only been a few cases where I felt enough attraction for a random girl that it cause me to act or try to make something happen. Seems like most girls just going to only do so much to start things. Haven't seen any direct obviously signs of interest that she's ready. Also only very few times where I thought the girl was really attractive enough to warrant ether me doing something or letting something happen. I mean I want sex but also have to have some kind of standards. Not just going to be with any old thing that comes along. My confidence and sex drive have continued to increase. I feeling noticed and important able to stand my group in interactions more. Feeling less trying to make something happen wanting them to make the first move. All good stuff. Also my desire and the effect of porn has had a much less effect on me usually getting bored with it and wanted to be a real woman. So progress is differently being made. Of course like I've said in all the previous version od dmsi I want more. More actually people initiating sex or in a way I can tell that's what they trying to. I'm going to have more of that
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 12-20-2018
Day 12-14
Took my days off break and running running it again. More or less minor improvements.
The major improvement I can see for the most part and it has been increasing is through my co-workers reactions to me. Been seeing reactions to me whether hey have a boy fired or not. That being said we are going to see how much of this is real attraction or them being nice. The other thing I'm noticing other then getting noticed where ever I go is the fact that co-workers just been having the knack of wanted to be up in my personal space a lot more. As strange as it would sound taking me a while to get used to that cause it's a good thing just still getting comfortable with it.
Today one of my co-workers I'll call feisty girl, who I can still has some attraction to me but dose have a bf also. I worked with her pretty much most of the day and she was completely ok with being all up and close and personal with me. In one of the backrooms we had to go in putting up freight, I was thinking we alone never been so close in proximity to a girl like this and not have sex or something happen. I mean I kind of like a situation where in order to get the items out the back closet we had to play a game of twister or something not quite touching per say but so close if someone made a wrong move something would of happened. We'll see how this goes cause. I was remembering to myself this hasn't happened like that before
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 12-22-2018
Day 15-16
Little to report, other than yesterday at work "fire girl" was helping and got so close to me I got distracted and banged my head on one of the racks. I got to stay focused. Today dancer wants to go hang out but this time she bringing her best friend "tall girl" along and daughter. Which for her is a big change. Most of the time she wants to keep her relationship with me a secret for the most part and I'm like that as well. Dancer dose trust tall girl with everything so I'm assuming she knows all about me. Tall dose know me If anything has happened with this new version is the whole deal with dancer fall in. You never know this might be things get's started with someone else. We'll see how this goes. Anything can happen in just one night.
Things went ok with dancer and "tall girl" I will say this even though I and dancer disagree on a lot of things "tall girl" did seem to get get extra close and seemed to get very comfortable with me and made some effort to talk to me. So all in all not a bad time. Might as well see if there's anything to this. Something tells me if nothing else we will be seeing a lot more of "tall girl"
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 01-02-2019
Day 28
Today At work I was feeling confident, It was seeming a lot of people where trying to intimidate me and I was totally unaffected by it. Even though one of my coworkers has a bf she was giving off atraction signals even though. She has mood issues so even though she's cute not really wanting to have much to do with her.
Outside of work I've made a goal of being a lot more social which in 3.2 I was wanting to do I got stopped by fear when I went out and tried it. Today although it was a few times I froze up and couldn't talk to a girl unless she gave me a few signs. There was quiet a few times I pushed through fear and at least said hi to some passing girls people on the bus etc. Which is a great start.
I was out running some errands and came across a girl I used to work with who was totally into me, although she was pregnant at the time. And do to fear and inexperience with girls back on 3.1 or so nothing much happened and she moved on. Today she popped back in had another kid, and totally made a effort to try to talk to me and was going well. At the end I still had some fear for asking for her number, got to remember to do that next time
In 2019 things are going to change, although as everyone knows I still talk to dancer and it was through dmsi that I got her in a since. But this year I'm put myself out there a lot more in being social get more numbers and dates etc. As well as any results the girls try to make happen. Cause something has got to change. Also The no flap thing has helped a lot. Much better than 3.2.
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 01-09-2019
Day 34
On my break period before going back to it again. been having a crazy time to say the least. last few days been really trying to push my comfort zone a lot by being more social and approaching girls a bit doing day game more or less when out doing errands and things.
I ran into a girl that just moved here from out of town and she didn't have a place to stay so i let her crash at my place. of course we ending up having sex. She has a lot of issues per say so it's not something that going to work long term but i did let stay for a 2 days till her sister came and got her.
Yesterday Meet 2 girls in the store close by where i live, and of course both of them where from out of town. Was going to have them over, but wasn't sure if other girl was still going to be there so i just got the number instead.
I'm supposed to go tomorrow for a job interview dancer supposed to give me a ride out there to it she works there so she put in a good word for me. Although it's at night time i'd rather have day shift but it pays good and since dancer is going that way it be convenient. Although i'd rather not get a place where i have to relie on her so much. With all this day game and overcoming fears i'm quickly forgetting all about dancer and moving on to other girls.
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 01-15-2019
Day 40
Things have been progressing at s good rate. A lot of my success so far had come from the anti fear mod. In that through I've been able to expand my comfort zone quite a bit with a lot less fear than ever before. For example I,very been doing day game if you want to call it that mainly just being social to e everybody. Taking time each day doing 30 minutes or so just out talking to people etc so when I need to I can open a girl I like. Just like working out at the gym. Although in day game I,m still a newbie mainly working on getting ok overcoming fear. Combined with sniper aura effects girls are a lot more open to meeting me giving out their number. So for the first time getting past fear to take action to change things. Good stuff.
On the success side of things I was chatting with a new girl while waiting for work at temp work place. After a chat for a bit I got her number. Latter that day when I gave her a call I came over to her house to hang out. We watched a movie then ended up having sex. then went to go get Chinese food. So made another sex friend. That other one I made last week went off back with her bf after we had sex, but still friends. And at work got the number some girl she offered me a ride after work I seriously thought about going home with her and hanging out of course probley having sex.things are looking up. On top of that been getting calls from old fings checking in me from Facebook etc. One thing I will say It's great making new friends. I'm going to have to work on getting higher quality girls these 2 are ok being on the rebound or from out of town so it worked out> i'm going to Try for higher quality girls. This is a good start though.
A while back shannon encouraged that got too complacent in my arrangement with dancer that over time got tamed to the point I was doing everything for her and getting little un return for it. Allt if it was just the fear of not having a girl. It had me in s bad space and she knew. Now however she had gotten the clue that yes I,m going to talking to lots of other people I could careless if she don,t respond, and she should invite out to meet her friends etc if she wants to be helpful. She did help me out trying to get a job at her place although not really like the hours she could take me very convenient. That being said as things move forward it,s going to be more and more clear that nothing or no person us going to hold me back from being the person i was always supposed to be. Something tells me all the stories and attention from other girls is ether going to make so I have no time for dancer or just have way to options to have much to do with. Being a few months ago would if been unthinkable
Another thing going on I have this boss that's really trying to control what other meeting places we can go on our off time. It,s pretty lame and petty in the since has nothing about anything, but trying to control people in their free time, because he has issues with every other boss in town. For my skills to grow with my music and for my social game I need to be out practicing with lots if girls and musically need to get around playing with lots of people for my skills to grow. Before all this, dancer had encouraged me to branch out on 3,2 I was too scared off my boss I never would risk it or as shannon would say too betazied to risk losing her by talking to other girls. Now with 3.3 she knows i talk to other girls. although i'm sensing she really don't want me to branching out to other girls even though she says she's ok with it. Plus i'm getting strong enough I can accept taking risks and moving on. Been feeling like boss and dancer holding me back. No thing or no person is going to stop me for being what i'm supposed to be.
it's taking it's time but the anti-fear mod has helped. Slowly but it is very strong much stronger than healing or clearing. Everything from my eye contact , bodly language all much better The main thing 4.1 anti fear mod did is help with me being ok with taking risks more which is coming from fear getting weaker. still there but much less a issue So i more likely like to take action. in both of the cases where i got a sex friend or lay i had to take risks even though they was into me i was still uncomfortable taking the lead and making it happen even with the quote easy girls, still had to challenge fear and take action. I'm glad i did but it was scary as i've never really did anything like that before. I was always in my comfort zone so much they never had a chance to be with me without being super forward or aggressive which still happens, now i'm just getting more comfortable with at least taking half way and risking making it happen i;e getting a number asking to hang our and going for sex. A lot less of waiting for her do everything, which is mainly girls in my circle already that know me. Which is cool at this time in my life i needed to take a lot of action as i was stuck with few options. Dancer knew that and kinda of took advantage of that fact. Which nothing wrong with her in a sense cause i let myself get tamed like that. I knew something had to change, and action had to be took to change it
I'm anti-fear mod 4.5-4.5 i'm taking things to the next level.
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 01-22-2019
Day 46[/font]
slowly thiggs continue to improve. Slowly king more action begin social day game still a newbie in it though. Over all just noticing myself being more comfortable doing what I want
This has made big changes in my relationship family friends. When you start doing thi gs fir you making waves people din,t seem to like it so much. They are cool keep the way things are ir have been. With the anti fear slots of changes in that area.
Dancer my main girl persay evegn though we both have other people e she has changed how she responding to me since now she very much knows I,m out meeting new people. So now she,s trying to look sexy and dress up to get attention. Never bothered until I started changing things. Also my boss man trying to control me, try as he might theres no stopping
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 01-23-2019
Day 1
Went strait into this new version. Stupid mp3 player ran out of power and stopped at 6 loops had to switch players and finish the rest of the loops. Funny thing in some old fings started back massaging me out of blue after loops done crazy a coincidence perhaps. My last new sex friend started acted crazy, it,s doubtful if I,m a keep her as i know i got better options on the way.
RE: DMSI V3.3 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - blth - 01-23-2019
What she did?
RE: DMSI V3.3.1 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 01-29-2019
(01-23-2019, 05:12 AM)blth Wrote: What she did?One girl was on the rebound and went back to her boy friend but ending up breaking up with him again she kinda has a drug problem and I don,t really feel like putting up with her issues, plus she stole a roll of quarters was gone Both the girls had some issues I,m really not trying to deal with. But sex did happen so not a total lost. They are like ome night stands persay with day game but this still all new to me. To make a long story short with other St Louis girl. The girl started talking crazy, she had a few beers and thought I was just going to back down and say she was right just because we was going to have sex. Needless to say we didn't,he e sex that night cause thanks to these new sub there is no backing down. So j got my stuff and left, she did walk me to the. But I think she knows dhe messed up. Even though I was horney I wasn,t going to walked over just fir sex. In the past I,d sucked up to her just to get some, that,s not happening
RE: DMSI V3.3.1 D 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal - Shadow2200 - 01-29-2019
Day 7 DMSI 3.3.1D
Already a week in . Pretty close to the old 3.3 just the effects are much stronger. Plus this I,feel been improving my social skills to boost and the effects are much greater. As well as a mega increase in confidence and indifference to negative emotions etc. Just more motivated in general. Also I think the main thing g I can tell it doing just getting more relaxed bring myself saying what I want. And seem to be completely against people trying to control me. Eye contact has good up quite a bit. But at the same time a cool laid back vibe. Getting noticed alot more with smiles this time around where before it was just stares. Those are just some of the major self effects