(08-10-2011, 02:03 PM)Shannon Wrote: Are you applying standards to yourself and expectations which are too high to be reasonable out of some deeply held fear?

(08-11-2011, 09:08 PM)RainbowAbyss Wrote: Shannon your self control is admirable, in doing sex magnet are you consciously interested and/or willing to have more casual sex, or are you intending to still hold out until relationship material. It seems to me that there are some very healthy amazing women out their who are interested in getting laid as well.
Also immolation of lust is beautifully said lol burned alive by desire as the sacrifice to the feminine

(08-11-2011, 12:38 PM)mat422 Wrote:

(08-10-2011, 02:03 PM)Shannon Wrote: Are you applying standards to yourself and expectations which are too high to be reasonable out of some deeply held fear?

I think you hit the nail on the head. I'm definitely going to think about this for a while. Right off the bat I'm pretty sure I have a fear of being inadequate. Growing up as a kid with social anxiety made me feel like less of a person and "broken". I'm guessing the guilt is tied to my belief that something is wrong with me. The guilt I feel from using the subliminals is just negative programming playing in my head that I'm flawed because I have to use them. I think the worst part is that I hold myself accountable for the problems I faced as a kid and presently. Which also causes deep shame when I talk about it because I feel selfish and like my problems aren't even that significant. That alone I think is a problem, I am holding onto my past as my identity and it keeps manifesting itself into my life. No matter how much I improve I still feel that negativity inside that prevents me from expressing myself how I want to.

I'm still not sure though, I've pondered this over long sessions of thought. If I really do fear rejection or if I fear the idea of rejection. I used to read self help books when I was younger about confidence, and how confidence was the answer to everything. I've come to understand confidence is only one aspect, there is a lot more going on in the subconscious mind. I feel like I'm stuck in a feedback loop, it's this thing inside of me that I know is there, but I really have trouble identifying what it is or understanding it. All I know is that I hold onto things for a while consciously and I get stuck like a broken record playing it back over and over again. With that kind of behavior I would think a lot of things have been stored in my memory and I haven't forgiven or let go of them yet.

I also discover I project my own feelings onto others. This is most noticeable with strangers. I think every person seems to hate me and sometimes I have paranoid thoughts about my family and my friends. I know this is irrational behavior and I can identify how wrong it is, but I still feel it emotionally and it tears me up inside at times.

That being said removing this baggage is my primary goal now. I was thinking of using either forgive yourself and move on or disconnect from the negativity within. Forgive yourself and move on deals with regret, which I believe I've accumulated a lot of. Primarily because of the problems I had which led me to not live life to the fullest and then think negatively of myself. I believe my problems were out of my control, although it seems a little irresponsible to say that, at the time I really was powerless and confused as to why I behaved in that manner. I could only cope, I never was able to overcome anything and for that I was always deeply ashamed of myself and angry for not being stronger. [/b]

(08-12-2011, 10:45 AM)Shannon Wrote: I'd say those would be good choices. And after you use those and re-assess your positioning, we can take it from there. You may want to commission a custom. When I am doing them again, of course.

In any case, keep seeking yourself, and the progress will continue.

(08-12-2011, 04:20 PM)mat422 Wrote:

(08-12-2011, 10:45 AM)Shannon Wrote: I'd say those would be good choices. And after you use those and re-assess your positioning, we can take it from there. You may want to commission a custom. When I am doing them again, of course.

In any case, keep seeking yourself, and the progress will continue.

Thanks shannon, I'm going to start with Disconnect from negativity within. I figured it's general enough so it will possibly cover some of that baggage that I can't really identify with. Looking at the script it seems really simple and direct, which would help me more in releasing those negative beliefs. The fact is I don't really need to understand the problems, I just need to let go of them. I'll be curious to see how I'm affected because right now I'm unsure of just how much negativity I hold inside of me.

Also how much would a custom cost? Right now I'm trying to save my money for paying off student loans and it would be nice to know how much I'd need to spend on a custom. I'm definitely a plan ahead type of guy, so I tend to neglect my own needs at times. Maybe sorting out my mindset should be more of a priority than worrying about money right now.

Quote:IF you decide you need and want a custom, they are $400 each as of this writing. But you should run through the programs you mentioned first and then assess whether a custom is what you really want and need before worrying about it.

(08-12-2011, 10:51 PM)K-Train Wrote:

Quote:IF you decide you need and want a custom, they are $400 each as of this writing. But you should run through the programs you mentioned first and then assess whether a custom is what you really want and need before worrying about it.

Wait, so even name embeds cost 400 bucks now!? Holy cow!