+- Subliminal Talk (https://subliminal-talk.com)
+-- Forum: Men's Journals (18+ NSFW) (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals-18-NSFW)
+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! (/Thread-tianshiz-AM-2011-journal-to-a-new-self)
tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - tianshiz - 11-16-2011
hey guys,
I'm new here. I'm a INTJ personality type looking to completely change. INTJ is a very good classification of my personality and mannerism and I do quite like some of the traits that comes as an INTJ. The wiki link I provided basically is a summary of my personality. It's quite surprising how accurate the myer briggs classification is!
However, I do not like the introversion aspect, which has quite hampered me socially. I can be social and make friends fine, it's not an extreme case of introversion, but I always feel worn out after socializing too much(I prefer peace and quiet) and have difficulty approaching people I don't know. I come as cool and reserved and naturally I don't feel inclined to socialized. I only socialize out of others expectations and to not seem different(not many people are INTJs). Unlike an alpha male, I do care about what other perceive of me. I'm also very analytical, great for work and such but horrible in relationships, another not alpha like characteristic.
As with any personality types, there are flaws and superior traits. I want to believe that AM2011 is my solution for ridding myself of flaws while keeping my better traits intact. After all, it seems that INTJ's only weakness is in social interactions. My goal is to become capable of gaining energy in social environments all the while being a leader to others. At the same time I want to change my romance life. In most cases of my life, I have always been the one chasing, and it never worked out well. I relied on the concept that I can get a girl to like me by interacting with them often and giving subtle attempts of affection. And that once I get some form of reciprocation, I would increase level of affection and eventually precipitate into a relationship.
After reading the suggested books, and through many failures, I have realized that the above procedure is useless and puts me at the mercy of girls. It's up to them to decide if they like me, whereas I should let them want me to choose them.Unfortunately this mentality would get me nowhere with my present self. I do not have a persona that attracts others and naturally girls don't become attracted. With AM2011 perhaps I can change this. So this journal will keep track of my observations and at the same time as a way to make sure that I'm on track. My end goal is to become an ENTP or at least an ENTJ. The biggest hurdle is the transition for introverted to extrovert.
So does the above seem like a good plan?
Wish me luck!
Day 1:
The first night I was a bit restless in my sleep, I put the volume at 25 and I could hear a bit of it when I position my ears facing the speaker. The sound eventually disappeared. Nothing too much to note the next day, I feel that my reading of the books, I was motivated to change and to act as described in the book, but my personality still held much of that off.
Day 2:
A better night of sleep. I got on a train today since I was going to the city to buy some new clothes. I was on the bike train and had an empty seat next to me. A girl in her mid 20's(I'm 20) approach me and asked to sit next to me, most likely cause that was the most convenient seat for her bike. I was in the middle of enjoying the view outside and was taken a back. So I quietly consented, avoiding eye contact and looked away.
She sat down next to me and we both remained quiet. In my mind I wanted to start a conversation, just because it was slightly awkward and also I wanted to step forward and practice doing this kind of thing. But I delayed too much, and eventually I felt that I've waited too long and that I've past the stage of appropriateness to initiate a conversation. That was the end of that.
At the mall, I was walking around and approached by a woman in her late 20's trying to sell me something. She was an exceptional salesman and led me around by the nose and caught me off guard. But my INTJ senses caught in her BS subtly and also kept my logical senses in check. After 30mins of talking with her and some serious deliberation, I decided to refuse buying. I left feeling glad that I refused, and that it was very alpha of me to not let her decide whats good for me. But still I was very close to succumbing to her suggestions, it was only my frugality and logic that saved me, not my sense that she has no right to decide my lifestyle.
So still, nothing alpha about me.
Day 3:
Spent the day reclusive for the most part and enjoying the sunday by myself.
Day4-6:
work, cubicle work is very quiet and has few interactions. After work I prefer to go straight back home, cook dinner and spend the rest of it online.
last night I recall vaguely of a dream where I was feeling alpha and acted alpha. It's unclear exactly what I was doing, but I felt that I came off somewhat like a jerk. There are 2 factors that could be influencing this, one is the audio tape, the other is my research these past days on AM2011 and reading of other journals that created these expectations.
It could be a combo of both, I don't know.
That's all so far, nearing the first week and so far alpha traits are still being repressed for the most part, even though my conscious mind desires for change. I realize that stage 1 is exactly for erasing these mentalities, but as you see, my mind is extremely critical, logical. I wonder if stage 1 would be enough to take down the walls of my subconscious?
Thanks again for reading this long intro post
-tianshiz
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - Ryan - 11-16-2011
Awesome man! You should definitely get Sex Magnet afterward, to take you to an even higher level. I was more confident and bold to go after women, but I think Sex Magnet is going to put the cherry on top of it all. Good luck!
BTW, weird coincidence. I never looked into those personality types until I met a woman with a INTJ type last night... I see myself more of a ENFP after doing Alpha and SM.
Ryan
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - tianshiz - 11-16-2011
cool! I don't think I've ever met INTJ girls, usually just some IXXX variant. They aren't easy to deal with are they?
what was your personality type before Alpha may I ask?
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - Ryan - 11-16-2011
I feel I used to be more of ISFJ or ISFP
ISFJ
Quiet, kind, and conscientious. Can be depended on to follow through. Usually puts the needs of others above their own needs. Stable and practical, they value security and traditions. Well-developed sense of space and function. Rich inner world of observations about people. Extremely perceptive of other's feelings. Interested in serving others.
ISFP
Quiet, serious, sensitive and kind. Do not like conflict, and not likely to do things which may generate conflict. Loyal and faithful. Extremely well-developed senses, and aesthetic appreciation for beauty. Not interested in leading or controlling others. Flexible and open-minded. Likely to be original and creative. Enjoy the present moment.
More-so me now:
ENFP
Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.
I've only been talking to her for a few hours, she's hard-headed sometimes it seems but by leading her, she tends to go along with it.
Ryan
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - woceyes - 11-16-2011
welcome to the forums tianshiz
Have fun on Alpha Male.My personality type says i am an ENTP (the inventor) and i bounce sometimes to ESTP (the promoter) which is a really strange one for me. Any ways good luck dude.
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - mat422 - 11-16-2011
INTJ also here man, and I can relate to what you posted. About feeling drained with social interactions, it might be because of all the analyzing and thoughts about what others think of you. Do you have anxiety at all? Even if you don't, having thoughts about what others think of you can lead to a lot of stress.
That being said, on your journey to becoming an alpha male you will learn a lot more about yourself. I prefer to think of introversion as deriving happiness and contentment from being alone. I don't really think that it's social interactions that drain introverts, rather their habit of constantly analyzing themselves and putting their focus inwards instead of outwards. Once you get rid of those habits being an introvert definitely has it's perks, especially when you don't need others and can be content on your own. But it's good to have a mix of introversion and extroversion, I prefer to avoid black and white thinking. I find it easier to just avoid labels all together and just do what you want to do.
Anyway, enjoy your journey!
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - tianshiz - 11-16-2011
thanks for the welcome guys!
and mat, you make a good point, I definitely like being able to enjoy solitude and I don't want to lose that just so I can gain extroversion.
Did you go through AM2011 yet? Just curious if it helped you past some of the issues of an INTJ.
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - mat422 - 11-17-2011
(11-16-2011, 08:18 PM)tianshiz Wrote: thanks for the welcome guys!
and mat, you make a good point, I definitely like being able to enjoy solitude and I don't want to lose that just so I can gain extroversion.
Did you go through AM2011 yet? Just curious if it helped you past some of the issues of an INTJ.
Yeah I'm actually on my second run through right now. My first run through I had an issue with the volume too low so it kind of hindered my results. But even with that, I made a lot of progress from where I was. It definitely helped me with some issues, but I knew one run through wasn't going to be enough to sort things out.
Also something to note is that my experience is a result of an intense fear that I have over change. You may progress a lot more than I did if you don't have this internal fear. From person to person we each respond in a different way to subliminals. So some of us advance faster than others. Keeping a journal is a really good way of tracking the subtle changes that occur.
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - tianshiz - 11-18-2011
how do you tell if the volume is too low? I usually have my volume at 20%, when playing the stream, I hear it fine, so I assume that the ultrasonic should be good as well.
and yea I do think that a lot of this is dependent on how willing my unconscious is to change.
I'll be sure to go through your journal! thanks!
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - mat422 - 11-18-2011
(11-18-2011, 01:11 AM)tianshiz Wrote: how do you tell if the volume is too low? I usually have my volume at 20%, when playing the stream, I hear it fine, so I assume that the ultrasonic should be good as well.
and yea I do think that a lot of this is dependent on how willing my unconscious is to change.
I'll be sure to go through your journal! thanks!
As long as you hear it fine when you play the stream and then that's the volume you leave it at you are all good. My problem was after I calibrated with the stream I lowered the volume on the ultrasonic because it made me anxious. It was resistance to the subliminal that I should have fought through instead of lowering the volume. But you should be good so don't worry about it.
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - Spiral - 11-19-2011
Mat, it is recommended that you find a comfortable volume for the masked or streamed (not too loud or too soft), then you turn the volume down a notch for the ultra sonic. you must have knocked yours down a good bit if you think your results have been hindered.
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - tianshiz - 11-20-2011
just a bit of updates.... not much changes so far but I've become more conscious of my non-alpha behaviors, though this is probably due to my focus on this issue. I've since began to keep a notepad on me to record any observation about my behavior and reflect on my mistakes, this lets me make observations right after the event without risks of forgetting details. I also use this for dream note taking and idea note taking.
and mat, I too've noticed is that I get a bit restless from AM2011, I just feel that I don't sleep as deeply anymore. This could be like you said that I'm resisting. When streaming right in front of me, 20% is a bit uncomfortably loud, farther away is better, but would definitely tire me out after a while. I'm gonna drop down to 15% and see how that works, maybe I'll get some better sleep.
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - woceyes - 11-20-2011
wow that is low volume. I keep mine running off my laptop which have harman/kardon speakers at 46. its the most comfortable for me while still giving my sub conscious the old 1.. 2.. but that just me
I did the same thing with a notepad, with a few exceptions. I like to keep track of what i was feeling and why. useally with questions that i look for the answer. I would also write myself a letter of what I had accomplish out of the program. if you do something like that or Brent's story's keep it in positive and present tense.
RE: tianshiz-AM 2011 journal to a new self! - tianshiz - 11-20-2011
haha tell me about it. when i put on my earbuds, i usually put the volume down to 6% or else my eardrums would explode haha.
thanks for the tips