Quote:Appetite is extreme on this. I HATE this. I've already gained over 4 pounds...IN FOUR DAYS. This is going to be a constant struggle yet again to not get fat once more. I worked so hard years ago to use intermittent fasting to lose 65 pounds, I've been so proud of that. UMS was already giving me so much trouble. I've slowly crept up and up and up, now I'm up 17 pounds in total from that point I hit when I lost the 65. This is intolerable, I won't let that happen again. I'm never going back to 252 pounds again, that was outrageous and I felt terrible about myself. The program is continuing to source massive sums of calories...and then apparently doing nothing with them all. Why I don't know...I just know I'm never going back to that weight ever again, regardless. I know the sub needs "energy", which is great, but I'm not letting myself balloon up again, so maybe I'll get very extreme with food if something has to give. I just know I'm NEVER going back to that size...EVER again.

Quote:When listening to loops, I tend to get these sudden massive spikes of extreme exhaustion, where I have a lot of trouble keeping my eyes open. Then, many times, minutes later, my energy comes back fully. Very peculiar. And potentially...dangerous. I take caution to only listen when I'm stationary in my chair, or in my bed.

Quote:Got a lot of pain in my stomach area during listening on a loop. Lasted for about 30 minutes or so, then disappeared. Very strange, I did nothing otherwise to justify such pain. I'll report if any pain returns, that was a bit alarming.

Quote:Massive argument with my Mother over nothing.

(10-01-2019, 06:33 AM)Shannon Wrote:

Quote:Appetite is extreme on this. I HATE this. I've already gained over 4 pounds...IN FOUR DAYS. This is going to be a constant struggle yet again to not get fat once more. I worked so hard years ago to use intermittent fasting to lose 65 pounds, I've been so proud of that. UMS was already giving me so much trouble. I've slowly crept up and up and up, now I'm up 17 pounds in total from that point I hit when I lost the 65. This is intolerable, I won't let that happen again. I'm never going back to 252 pounds again, that was outrageous and I felt terrible about myself. The program is continuing to source massive sums of calories...and then apparently doing nothing with them all. Why I don't know...I just know I'm never going back to that weight ever again, regardless. I know the sub needs "energy", which is great, but I'm not letting myself balloon up again, so maybe I'll get very extreme with food if something has to give. I just know I'm NEVER going back to that size...EVER again.

Based on what's in the script this is absolutely positively a defense/manipulation tactic your subconscious is using to both "make you feel safe" (gain weight and use it as a shield, I never understood why the subconscious associates weight gain with safety), and to create conflict between your conscious mind and DMSI usage to try to get you to stop using it.  You absolutely cannot be ingesting calories and then storing them as weight if you are executing the script.  This is a fear response.

(10-01-2019, 06:42 AM)CatMan Wrote: Thanks a lot for the comments and subscribes, gents. I am very thankful, this is my first journal in quite awhile, eager to get back into it.

Hey Shannon!

What you've said is largely what I expected was the case, given what I've read about similar things here over time and your comments about them. Makes sense. The subconscious having such a tie to weight=security is indeed strange. I mean, I can see it's logic in your past situation where the woman was raped, so her mind decided if she was unattractive, then she wouldn't have that kind of sexual attention required to be at risk of being raped again. However...maybe it's similar here. I have fears about women and past treatment and pain. So, the subconscious may want to pile on weight, to make itself unattractive, so it isn't at "risk" of more pain and negative interactions. I'm not saying it's the "same" as rape at all, that is horrifying. But, just trying to figure out the logic. My case is just some bad binging urges that are very potent, not the horror she went through, different universes. In time, maybe this version can clean this up, we will see.

I added one more part, in an accidental quoted post above, that I have asked to be deleted since it's redundant. I edited the first post as I wanted to originally, with a part about pain in my head. I assume that's similar to the reason for the stomach pain? What about the dreams I posted? They seemed interesting to me, seems like somewhat obvious FRM work on women and my past etc.? Disappointing reaction from that one girl, but that was only day 1 of use I admit.

(10-01-2019, 06:57 AM)ichigo Wrote:

(10-01-2019, 06:33 AM)Shannon Wrote:

Quote:Appetite is extreme on this. I HATE this. I've already gained over 4 pounds...IN FOUR DAYS. This is going to be a constant struggle yet again to not get fat once more. I worked so hard years ago to use intermittent fasting to lose 65 pounds, I've been so proud of that. UMS was already giving me so much trouble. I've slowly crept up and up and up, now I'm up 17 pounds in total from that point I hit when I lost the 65. This is intolerable, I won't let that happen again. I'm never going back to 252 pounds again, that was outrageous and I felt terrible about myself. The program is continuing to source massive sums of calories...and then apparently doing nothing with them all. Why I don't know...I just know I'm never going back to that weight ever again, regardless. I know the sub needs "energy", which is great, but I'm not letting myself balloon up again, so maybe I'll get very extreme with food if something has to give. I just know I'm NEVER going back to that size...EVER again.

Based on what's in the script this is absolutely positively a defense/manipulation tactic your subconscious is using to both "make you feel safe" (gain weight and use it as a shield, I never understood why the subconscious associates weight gain with safety), and to create conflict between your conscious mind and DMSI usage to try to get you to stop using it.  You absolutely cannot be ingesting calories and then storing them as weight if you are executing the script.  This is a fear response.

I get the rationale behind this, but I think it's because the feeling of hunger DMSI produces makes you eat more than you otherwise would. If DMSI is using an additional 100+ calories per day to power itself for example, it doesn't help to offset the additional 500+ calories that are getting consumed because the feelings of hunger are leading to binge eating. That's my problem when running DMSI and I suspect Catman's too.

Not sure if there's a fix, other than adding appetite supression into the script?

(10-01-2019, 08:14 AM)Shannon Wrote: I have found that in general, certain personality types tend to associate physical weight/body fat with "security".  There does not need to be any particular association beyond that - no rape necessary, for example.  As to exactly why this is, I have only a theory that perhaps this part of the awareness associates the sensations created by extra weight with security because it is more like being in utero, or perhaps because it enhances the sensation of "being physical".  Maybe it reminds the subconscious of being hugged?  Sort of like a thunder sweater for dogs.

Quote:Now, the next thing in the subconscious mind, and probably the most important part of it is our protective mind.  It must protect us against danger real OR imagined.  You see something imagined by the subconscious mind is just as if it was actually happening, it can’t tell the difference.  And it must protect us against danger.

A quick example, about a year ago a woman came into see me, she was five foot one, she weighed very close, just a few pounds away from 300 pounds.  She sat in the chair and told me about how she had an eating problem, but years of experience told me she didn’t have an eating problem.  I knew that an event in her past caused her subconscious mind to protect her by making her heavy.  Briefly, what happened with this particular woman was, and she could not recall this with her conscious mind, when she was just a little six year old girl, her step-father abused her, she told her mother and her mother didn’t believe her.  She felt guilty, as if she was doing something wrong.  But she didn’t get heavy at that point.

 

            When she was in high school in the fifties, she felt as if she was a little bit more promiscuous than she felt good to herself about.  She felt the boys in high school were just trying to hurt her.  That didn’t cause her to become heavy either.  But when she was twenty four years old and she married the “white knight”, the man who could do no wrong.  On their honeymoon, the second day they were married, they were having dinner in the Bahamas and he decided to cleanse his soul and show her how much he loved her.  He told her that when he was just a young guy, 18, 19 years old and in the Air Force, he use to pick up women and just use them and throw them away.  Well, you can imagine what the subconscious mind felt about this one man that this woman felt she could trust above every other man in the world would actually do this to a woman.

 

            The subconscious mind then went back into its memory banks and into its computer information and said, “The step-father hurt you very badly, the boys in high school were trying to hurt you very badly and now this one man you could trust above every other man says he could do this to a woman, then he certainly has the capability of doing this to you.  And instantly it made this decision, men hurt women, therefore, I must protect you against men. Now, it can’t teach her karate, can’t buy her a gun, so it protected her in the only way it could and this woman began gaining weight rapidly.  So very soon she became very fat and certainly men no longer had an interest in her and she was protected.  That is how the subconscious protects us sometimes, in a way that we would prefer it didn’t, but protection is its primary job.

(10-01-2019, 08:14 AM)Shannon Wrote:

(10-01-2019, 06:42 AM)CatMan Wrote: Thanks a lot for the comments and subscribes, gents. I am very thankful, this is my first journal in quite awhile, eager to get back into it.

Hey Shannon!

What you've said is largely what I expected was the case, given what I've read about similar things here over time and your comments about them. Makes sense. The subconscious having such a tie to weight=security is indeed strange. I mean, I can see it's logic in your past situation where the woman was raped, so her mind decided if she was unattractive, then she wouldn't have that kind of sexual attention required to be at risk of being raped again. However...maybe it's similar here. I have fears about women and past treatment and pain. So, the subconscious may want to pile on weight, to make itself unattractive, so it isn't at "risk" of more pain and negative interactions. I'm not saying it's the "same" as rape at all, that is horrifying. But, just trying to figure out the logic. My case is just some bad binging urges that are very potent, not the horror she went through, different universes. In time, maybe this version can clean this up, we will see.

I added one more part, in an accidental quoted post above, that I have asked to be deleted since it's redundant. I edited the first post as I wanted to originally, with a part about pain in my head. I assume that's similar to the reason for the stomach pain? What about the dreams I posted? They seemed interesting to me, seems like somewhat obvious FRM work on women and my past etc.? Disappointing reaction from that one girl, but that was only day 1 of use I admit.

I have found that in general, certain personality types tend to associate physical weight/body fat with "security".  There does not need to be any particular association beyond that - no rape necessary, for example.  As to exactly why this is, I have only a theory that perhaps this part of the awareness associates the sensations created by extra weight with security because it is more like being in utero, or perhaps because it enhances the sensation of "being physical".  Maybe it reminds the subconscious of being hugged?  Sort of like a thunder sweater for dogs.

(10-01-2019, 06:33 AM)Shannon Wrote:

Quote:Appetite is extreme on this. I HATE this. I've already gained over 4 pounds...IN FOUR DAYS. This is going to be a constant struggle yet again to not get fat once more. I worked so hard years ago to use intermittent fasting to lose 65 pounds, I've been so proud of that. UMS was already giving me so much trouble. I've slowly crept up and up and up, now I'm up 17 pounds in total from that point I hit when I lost the 65. This is intolerable, I won't let that happen again. I'm never going back to 252 pounds again, that was outrageous and I felt terrible about myself. The program is continuing to source massive sums of calories...and then apparently doing nothing with them all. Why I don't know...I just know I'm never going back to that weight ever again, regardless. I know the sub needs "energy", which is great, but I'm not letting myself balloon up again, so maybe I'll get very extreme with food if something has to give. I just know I'm NEVER going back to that size...EVER again.

Based on what's in the script this is absolutely positively a defense/manipulation tactic your subconscious is using to both "make you feel safe" (gain weight and use it as a shield, I never understood why the subconscious associates weight gain with safety), and to create conflict between your conscious mind and DMSI usage to try to get you to stop using it.  You absolutely cannot be ingesting calories and then storing them as weight if you are executing the script.  This is a fear response.

Quote:When listening to loops, I tend to get these sudden massive spikes of extreme exhaustion, where I have a lot of trouble keeping my eyes open. Then, many times, minutes later, my energy comes back fully. Very peculiar. And potentially...dangerous. I take caution to only listen when I'm stationary in my chair, or in my bed.

We have learned that such a thing is an internal struggle within you between the cooperative parts and the non-cooperative parts.  When they are struggling, it creates a lot of exhaustion.  What you're describing here is a prime example of an extreme case of this.

Quote:Got a lot of pain in my stomach area during listening on a loop. Lasted for about 30 minutes or so, then disappeared. Very strange, I did nothing otherwise to justify such pain. I'll report if any pain returns, that was a bit alarming.

This is almost certainly a response to fear.  It also can't be happening if you're executing the script.  So it would appear that you are executing parts of the script and fighting the execution of others, which also isn't possible if you're executing the script.  

Quote:Massive argument with my Mother over nothing.

This naturally could be "just normal" or it might have to do with your subconscious fighting the program.

In any case, over time, you should notice changes that lead more and more to executing more and more.