Subliminal Talk

Full Version: Shannon's USLM2 Journal
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
Pages: 1 2
I am a little late to the game because of a serious infection that required MIR for my GF, which then spread to me. It is gone now, and was bested using only MIR, vitamins and colloidal silver (although I am currently unsure the "colloidal silver" I used had any effect, since it turned out to be a silver protein, which is worthless, even though the packaging specifies that it is only silver colloids and pure water; I will avoid Silver Wings brand in the future).

Anyway, last night was my second day (night) of using it.

There were several days of what I suspected were TID before hand, including emotional upheavals, and the day after my first 6 loops I was sure that those were indeed TID. I found my inner child crying and terrified when I awoke, and this wasn't the usual 4 year old part of me, this was my 2 year old self, who I haven't dealt with before. Apparently, FRM v2 went straight to the source and stirred some shit up.

It took me hours to calm down, and I used the method of talking to him, comforting him, imagining me holding him on my lap and explaining things to him, but at that age the comprehension is limited. Eventually I got him to calm down, but it wasn't fun. Was still not feeling great an hour later, when I went to a rock and gem show. That was so mind blowing that it distracted me sufficiently to calm me down.

At the rock and gem show, I saw many things I wanted to buy, but I would not allow myself to, being responsible with my money. There was one piece, however, a massive (in the sense of shape and size) piece of high grade larimar that is very beautiful. If you have never heard of larimar, that's because it's relatively rare, and good quality pieces are very rare indeed. A good quality piece, not top quality but good wuality piece an inch by half an inch by a few milimeters thck can go for hundreds of dollars. This piece weighs over a pound, but I haven't weighed it yet. It had one side sliced off and polished just below the crust to reveal the beautiful blue and white pattern underneath. I asked how much they wanted for it, and they said $125. I passed.

The rest of the gem show, I was repeatedly blown away. Fossilized coral, palm tree, sequoia; opalized wood; new types of gem that have only been discovered recently; uncut ruby crystals a pound in weight; and on and on and on. I only purchased a membership to the rock and gem club.

When I left, I could not stop thinking about that piece of larimar. It would not leave my mind. I couldn't figure out why. But over time, I realized that this response meant that some part of me was trying to communicate that I should buy it. I knew next to nothing about larimar, so it was a gamble, but the next day (last day of the show) I went back, and there it was, still waiting for me. I bought it immediately, and the woman who sold it to me started talking like it was a baby. "I's a type of volcanic glass," she told me. "Very delicate. I always take extra care when I handle it to make sure I don't drop it. Be very careful with it. And if you cut it, cut it sloooowly, because it's very delicate." and on and on.

I have been mesmerized by it ever since. It is sitting on my desk and I look at it frequently.

This morning I went on ebay to see what comparable pieces are worth. There were none. There were only slabs of rough, and all of them were low grade. My piece is probably AAB grade, which is mid grade. 2x3 inch slices of low grade are going for ~$20, unworked. I looked for pieces in the same grade I have and found only two pieces of jewelry that contained them. Both from the same seller, and both between $100 and $200+ for a polished 1" x 1/2" pendant that was wrapped in gold filled wire.

I'm estimating that my piece is worth, at present, if I were to cut it and polish it the same way, at least 10x what I paid for it, and since there is only one source of larimar in the world and it is almost mined out, waiting to cut and/or sell it will surely net me a lot more than that. I'd say that's a pretty good ROI, and it has to be USLM2. So is having found and joined the rock and gem club, since they have a lot of classes I am dying to take: wire wrapping, chainmaille, silversmithing, lost wax casting, vacuum casting, lampwork, making cabachons, faceting, and others.

Last night I stayed up a long time taking care of my GF, who is also dealing with emotional turmoil from FRM2, apparently. It prevents her from sleeping for the last few days, and I woke up last night shortly after I fell asleep to her softly crying, trying not to awaken me. But I can always feel when she needs me, and I spent some time comforting her. She has had a really damaging past Neither she nor I believes that she would still be alive if I hadn't entered her life, but together we seem to be helping one another heal and make great progress.

None of this would have been an issue if I could have slept as long as I liked this morning, but this morning was an important test of B17 which was scheduled last week. I couldn't back out. Unfortunately, because we were so tired it took me longer than usual to calculate the settings and we got to the test after it should have been over. It was a complete bust. It has to be done again.

So now we are exhausted, the test was a waste of time, and I have to do it again. Worse, I can't work today because of my exhaustion. I'm forcing us to stay awake with caffeine and the awakener to force myself back onto a good sleep schedule ASAP, but today is a bust. I feel, in spite of everything, like my eyes are going to melt out of my head. That usually only happens when I am seriously sleep deprived.

The good news is, today I do not feel bad emotionally as a result of FRMv2. Whatever it was doing that upset my 2 year old self, it is done doing it. That it hit my 2 year old self that hard that fast, and was done that fast, absolutely amazes me.

USLM2 was NOT pleasant that first day, and I'm not sure how long it will take to get to where it is pleasant, but GF says that she's sold over $125 worth of stuff on eBay since we started using it, which is in stark contrast to the $13 worth of stuff she sold during the previous month. She's convinced that's USLM2, and insists that we keep going.

So here we are on Day 2.

I have tried to make v3 of FRM many times faster acting, more powerful and more comfortable to use than v2. Let's hope.
Hi Shannon,

How much work would it be to build a version of USLMax with FRM v3?
(10-22-2018, 09:42 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I am a little late to the game because of a serious infection that required MIR for my GF, which then spread to me. It is gone now, and was bested using only MIR, vitamins and colloidal silver (although I am currently unsure the "colloidal silver" I used had any effect, since it turned out to be a silver protein, which is worthless, even though the packaging specifies that it is only silver colloids and pure water; I will avoid Silver Wings brand in the future).

Anyway, last night was my second day (night) of using it.

There were several days of what I suspected were TID before hand, including emotional upheavals, and the day after my first 6 loops I was sure that those were indeed TID. I found my inner child crying and terrified when I awoke, and this wasn't the usual 4 year old part of me, this was my 2 year old self, who I haven't dealt with before. Apparently, FRM v2 went straight to the source and stirred some shit up.

It took me hours to calm down, and I used the method of talking to him, comforting him, imagining me holding him on my lap and explaining things to him, but at that age the comprehension is limited. Eventually I got him to calm down, but it wasn't fun. Was still not feeling great an hour later, when I went to a rock and gem show. That was so mind blowing that it distracted me sufficiently to calm me down.

At the rock and gem show, I saw many things I wanted to buy, but I would not allow myself to, being responsible with my money. There was one piece, however, a massive (in the sense of shape and size) piece of high grade larimar that is very beautiful. If you have never heard of larimar, that's because it's relatively rare, and good quality pieces are very rare indeed. A good quality piece, not top quality but good wuality piece an inch by half an inch by a few milimeters thck can go for hundreds of dollars. This piece weighs over a pound, but I haven't weighed it yet. It had one side sliced off and polished just below the crust to reveal the beautiful blue and white pattern underneath. I asked how much they wanted for it, and they said $125. I passed.

The rest of the gem show, I was repeatedly blown away. Fossilized coral, palm tree, sequoia; opalized wood; new types of gem that have only been discovered recently; uncut ruby crystals a pound in weight; and on and on and on. I only purchased a membership to the rock and gem club.

When I left, I could not stop thinking about that piece of larimar. It would not leave my mind. I couldn't figure out why. But over time, I realized that this response meant that some part of me was trying to communicate that I should buy it. I knew next to nothing about larimar, so it was a gamble, but the next day (last day of the show) I went back, and there it was, still waiting for me. I bought it immediately, and the woman who sold it to me started talking like it was a baby. "I's a type of volcanic glass," she told me. "Very delicate. I always take extra care when I handle it to make sure I don't drop it. Be very careful with it. And if you cut it, cut it sloooowly, because it's very delicate." and on and on.

I have been mesmerized by it ever since. It is sitting on my desk and I look at it frequently.

This morning I went on ebay to see what comparable pieces are worth. There were none. There were only slabs of rough, and all of them were low grade. My piece is probably AAB grade, which is mid grade. 2x3 inch slices of low grade are going for ~$20, unworked. I looked for pieces in the same grade I have and found only two pieces of jewelry that contained them. Both from the same seller, and both between $100 and $200+ for a polished 1" x 1/2" pendant that was wrapped in gold filled wire.

I'm estimating that my piece is worth, at present, if I were to cut it and polish it the same way, at least 10x what I paid for it, and since there is only one source of larimar in the world and it is almost mined out, waiting to cut and/or sell it will surely net me a lot more than that. I'd say that's a pretty good ROI, and it has to be USLM2. So is having found and joined the rock and gem club, since they have a lot of classes I am dying to take: wire wrapping, chainmaille, silversmithing, lost wax casting, vacuum casting, lampwork, making cabachons, faceting, and others.

Last night I stayed up a long time taking care of my GF, who is also dealing with emotional turmoil from FRM2, apparently. It prevents her from sleeping for the last few days, and I woke up last night shortly after I fell asleep to her softly crying, trying not to awaken me. But I can always feel when she needs me, and I spent some time comforting her. She has had a really damaging past Neither she nor I believes that she would still be alive if I hadn't entered her life, but together we seem to be helping one another heal and make great progress.

None of this would have been an issue if I could have slept as long as I liked this morning, but this morning was an important test of B17 which was scheduled last week. I couldn't back out. Unfortunately, because we were so tired it took me longer than usual to calculate the settings and we got to the test after it should have been over. It was a complete bust. It has to be done again.

So now we are exhausted, the test was a waste of time, and I have to do it again. Worse, I can't work today because of my exhaustion. I'm forcing us to stay awake with caffeine and the awakener to force myself back onto a good sleep schedule ASAP, but today is a bust. I feel, in spite of everything, like my eyes are going to melt out of my head. That usually only happens when I am seriously sleep deprived.

The good news is, today I do not feel bad emotionally as a result of FRMv2. Whatever it was doing that upset my 2 year old self, it is done doing it. That it hit my 2 year old self that hard that fast, and was done that fast, absolutely amazes me.

USLM2 was NOT pleasant that first day, and I'm not sure how long it will take to get to where it is pleasant, but GF says that she's sold over $125 worth of stuff on eBay since we started using it, which is in stark contrast to the $13 worth of stuff she sold during the previous month. She's convinced that's USLM2, and insists that we keep going.

So here we are on Day 2.

I have tried to make v3 of FRM many times faster acting, more powerful and more comfortable to use than v2. Let's hope.
@Shannon
This program is definitely very heavy hitting early on than USLM1. I think you are onto something with regards to FRM. I am eagerly anticipating to see how FRM develops over the next few programs.

it sounds like your GF is having a hard time with FRM. Does she have severe issues with fear and other emotional issues?
Hi Shannon,

Out of curiosity since you’re planning on creating USLM2-A after 3.3 comes out- would it be possible for you to include the updated FRM and H&C (along with anything new you learn from the response to 3.3) into USLM2-A?
Guys, unless they're related to Shannon's entries, please post your questions to the discussion journal.
(10-22-2018, 10:20 AM)THolt Wrote: [ -> ][snip]
@Shannon
This program is definitely very heavy hitting early on than USLM1. I think you are onto something with regards to FRM. I am eagerly anticipating to see how FRM develops over the next few programs.

it sounds like your GF is having a hard time with FRM. Does she have severe issues with fear and other emotional issues?

She's a very sensitive emotional type personality focus, and fear is a natural consequence for such personalities if they have a difficult childhood. But she is serving as a way for me to learn how to deal with fear and resistance. I can observe her almost 24/7 if I want to, and she helps me test new ideas frequently and rapidly.

She is having a hard time with FRMv2, but it is driving her healing and growth to record speeds, and driving my development of FRM too. The faster and more completely I understand how it works and what it does, the faster I can develop it.

This is something she recognizes as being good for her, though, and last night when I suggested we stop and use E2 instead, she would not hear it.
(10-22-2018, 10:19 AM)DMSIuser78 Wrote: [ -> ]Hi Shannon,

How much work would it be to build a version of USLMax with FRM v3?

The same amount it was to build the version with V2.
(10-22-2018, 10:28 AM)KingDavid93 Wrote: [ -> ]Hi Shannon,

Out of curiosity since you’re planning on creating USLM2-A after 3.3 comes out- would it be possible for you to include the updated FRM and H&C (along with anything new you learn from the response to 3.3) into USLM2-A?

If I use V3 of FRM in USLM2-A, then we don't have 2-A, we have 3-A. And then I need to rebuild B and possibly make a C and D - a version with H&C, no H&C, no H&C + FRM, and H&C + FRM. Unless we figure out what is best in the models.

It seems apparent that you guys like what FRM v2 is doing, but it needs adjustment.

We will consider how to advance USLM and UMOP with the FRM when DMSI 3.3 is finished.
----
For the time being, I'm only posting in this thread because I'm sleep deprived. But this thread is my journal for USLM2, so ladies and gentlemen, please keep comments on that topic, and I'll get back to answering posts on the journal discussion thread tomorrow.
(10-22-2018, 09:42 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]"I's a type of volcanic glass," she told me. "Very delicate. I always take extra care when I handle it to make sure I don't drop it. Be very careful with it. And if you cut it, cut it sloooowly, because it's very delicate." and on and on.

Congrats on getting your hands on such a nice piece, Shannon. Given it's rarity it should increase in value over time. Only one little detail where I just can't bite my tongue: larimar is not a volcanic glass. It's a mineral.

Cutting and polishing good minerals like this yourself can be fun and very meditative. And its easy and cheap Wink

Enjoy it.
(10-23-2018, 02:26 AM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-22-2018, 09:42 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]"I's a type of volcanic glass," she told me. "Very delicate. I always take extra care when I handle it to make sure I don't drop it. Be very careful with it. And if you cut it, cut it sloooowly, because it's very delicate." and on and on.

Congrats on getting your hands on such a nice piece, Shannon. Given it's rarity it should increase in value over time. Only one little detail where I just can't bite my tongue: larimar is not a volcanic glass. It's a mineral.

Cutting and polishing good minerals like this yourself can be fun and very meditative. And its easy and cheap Wink

Enjoy it.

I've spent quite a bit of time researching it, and that became apparent very quickly. Bit thank you for pointing me to the facts.

I joined the rock and gem club to learn how to work with, cut and polish minerals.

Although given how fragile larimar seems to be, it'll be a bit before I even think about trying to cut this baby. Then again, maybe I will just leave it alone and wait for pieces of this size and quality to become insanely rare and valuable.
(10-23-2018, 06:09 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I joined the rock and gem club to learn how to work with, cut and polish minerals.

Although given how fragile larimar seems to be, it'll be a bit before I even think about trying to cut this baby.

Larimar is generally a bit higher on the Mohs scale than other pectolite. But you are right, to train the whole process of cutting and polishing (to perfection) it's not the best mineral to start with. Agate is a very rewarding and easy to work with mineral for giving you a good learning curve.

I wish you a lot of fun with it.
Last night, GF was worried that even though she was becoming sleep deprived, that she would not be able to sleep. I sensed a subconscious resistance to sleep for some reason, so I adjusted my USLM2 playlist to start with v6 of the Sleep Induction Aid in 5.5G. That program has already been tested and rejected for release to the public, but it was worth a shot. And it worked: we both fell asleep within 10 minutes, and we slept for more than 10 hours.

We are both still tired - haven't caught up fully yet - but this is much better than before.

I feel fine emotionally today. No signs of fear or resistance or upset at all. She has been expressing interest in doing certain things suddenly, like learning to knit. And I have been for the last few days spontaneously discovering how to improve things, sometimes in surprising ways.

I can feel FRM still working, but consciously I feel nothing negative. Just calm.
Since the last post, I have been generally calm, except for one situation in which I got to worrying about something in particular and felt a lot of fear about it because it seemed to be an impossible situation. The more I tried to find a way out, the more upset it got me, because I couldn't see one. Then I got quiet, which usually indicates that something is wrong, and GF noted this and asked what was wrong.

I proceeded to rant out my fears and frustrations to her, and her response, bless her heart, was to show me that my fears were based on having forgotten a couple of things, and that everything was going to be okay. That woman is pure gold.

Today she and I went to a wire wrapping class that we signed up for with the local rock and gem club, and we made wire wrap bracelets for ourselves during the first class. Simple, but very interesting. I made mine from brass wire, and she hers from copper wire. She took longer to make hers than I did because she was having trouble getting some aspects right, but the instructor was very good with her and patiently showed her what she needed to understand and encouraged her. In fact she did exactly what I was thinking I would have to do, which pleased me a great deal, because most people don't teach my GF the way she needs to be taught.

We ended up with finished wire wrap bracelets, and GF was very pleased with having succeeded in doing this. She came from a family who always tore her down. I have been trying to show her that she can do anything, and this was certainly helpful evidence for my case.

At dinner, she told me that she can see USLM2 working in the fact that she responded completely differently to the experience that she had trying to make the bracelet than she normally would have. She said that normally, she would feel hopeless and give up in frustration quickly because she felt that it needed to be perfect, immediately, regardless of how much practice, skill or understanding she had. This time, she accepted it as being okay to be and do less than perfection, and continued on.

That is big.

Today, we had one of the best days I can remember. Then, at the gym, she started having random sharp pains in her foot that prevented her from working out, even though she tried for about 10 minutes to work out regardless. I was not really interested in working out for the remaining 40 minutes while she sat around bored out of her skull, so I just ended the session and we came home. This has her significantly upset; she believes that this is subconscious self sabotage, because recently she has been through a series of really weird, random events that have forced her to stop doing what she was doing to get to success. Everything from strange allergic reactions to unexplained infections. I don't know what to think, but I can definitely see that USLM2 is having a very positive effect on her, on me and on our relationship.

I am significantly tempted to build USLM with v3 of FRM in it, but I have decided that I am going to resist that temptation and instead continue working on DMSI. I have been making a lot of very important progress lately. Have been taking some things from B17 that constitute very advanced, very powerful ASS/ART modules and optimizing them even further and then adding them to the skeleton script of DMSI 3.3. I think this will make a noticeable difference.

There are only a couple more such statements that I want to add, and then I am going to start working on the auric modulation scripting for a while. After that I will be adding from the list of things to add again, and at the current pace I am working, we should have a significant upgrade in 3.3.

Overall, USLM2 has me feeling positive and steadily so. There are things that I am apparently working on, but the predominant result is positivity and success based actions. I even started talking today about cleaning and de-cluttering my house, which is almost unheard of for me!

Would be nice if I was having money show up as a result, too. Wink
Haha, I noticed having a similar idea pop up about cleaning my house (and I hate cleaning. "It is beneath me" Wink ) after finishing my work for the week.
Pages: 1 2