I think I should have posted this here now instead of on shannon's discussion but anyway here it is...
just wanted to quickly add that looks do matter to females because of the following...
Im on one of those online dating sites, a popular one and I dont have my pic on there. I messaged a girl only later to see she isnt seeking anything but friendship and she got chatting to me. She then pushed to see my pic and eventually I said well you only want friendship so I can wait lol
She replied with how if im hot she may change her mind and go for a relationship.
Just an example of how looks matter to women. It was looks that made women go drooling over the beatles and its looks that make them run after Tom Jones, whom they used to throw their knickers/undergarments at in the 60s and its looks that make them drool over celebritites.
Very rarely does a comedian get known for having hordes of women even though his humour clearly would make them 'feel' strong emotions.
Its looks that made girls go for Prince William when he had hair, and once he lost it they started turning their attention to the ginger Harry who they never noticed before lol.
Its good looking men that the media hail as a potential bachelor and its the looks with whom females have casual flings and office flings with.
The ONLY time looks comes in 2nd, 3rd or 4th in my experience is when the guy is either rich or has some other status or the female herself isnt hot.
When I was a teen to early adult I had some good looks and saw how females responded to me more then and now that my looks have gone I dont get females even though inside me I dont see that im anything less than I was as a teen - clearly I am though lol
I just wanted to share this.
(08-20-2018, 06:14 PM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ] (08-20-2018, 05:24 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Ok well you get what I was hinting at: dress like however the f*ckbois do in your region. You must have seen some. Copy them.
I burn easily too and have a farmer's tan, but when I DO decide to work on the tan, I'm going to do it slowly, only like 30 mins at a time till my skin gets used to it. Remember: Rome wasn't built in a day. Which also means you might as well work on everything as soon as you can cause it can take a while.
"Get to know" is "friend zone". Don't do that (I learned this the hard way. In truth, women want a f*ck toy they eventually develop feelings for).
Finally, you are absolutely right that looks don't mean shit.
Check out this recent online convo between me and a girl who was the most forward I've ever had. And pay close attention to how I f*cked it up with shitty game:
Me:
You look like trouble 
Her:
Hahaha you guessed right
Me:
Takes one to know one what’s up?
Her:
Hopefully your cock
Me:
Yeah but it won’t do you much good over here
Her:
True
Me:
It’s a conundrum
Her:
And it’s really too bad that I’m in [area] on holiday
Me:
That is unfortunate
Her:
Text doesn’t quite cute it
Me:
Lemme guess you want video?
Her:
I was thinking more along the lines of getting in touch when I was back in town
Me:
Thank god, now I don’t think you’re a dude with a fake profile. When are you back?
Her:
Next Monday
Me:
Cool. I’ll come over. Got any more pics so I know for sure you’re legit?
Her:
*sends Safe-for-work pic*
Me:
Not bad
Her:
Thanks
Me:
What’s your number?
[no response]
/\ That should prove 100% that it matters more what you say than what you look like. This girl wanted me because of my looks, I lost her because of my lack of game (I was in a "just be myself" mood that day and look where it got me? Proof positive game matters)
Oh but congrats on the kisses. I've had trouble with kissing myself. Women would literally laugh after I kissed them. Puzzled me. But then I read a PUA article that said when kissing you have to let her lead a bit (as in, you kiss her but leave your mouth open and let her do what she will) and then you mirror what she does. I never did that before so I'ma try it the very next time.
@SargeMaximus What did you do wrong exactly though? She wanted you and you asked for her number and she went cold.
Here's the deal: a woman will not go cold if she's into you.
Therefore, if they go from hot to cold, you DEFINITELY did something wrong.
A PUA guy I know told me what I did wrong but I'd rather not share it. For now just meditate on that fact: If a girl goes from hot to cold YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG.
I sort of hesitated, and leaned backwards, with the kisses. Especially the first time, but she didn’t seem to care (she pulled me into her) - it was at a party that I got invited to.
It was an important milestone for me. I intentionally remember it regularly, to reinforce a new sexier self-identity.
One of my friends found a dating coach, and is nagging me to go, since it is a 10-hours free deal, and my friend says that it’s rare to see such a deal.
I reckon I’ll check it out.
My friend suggests that I do their weakpoints assessment session, and then decide whether to do the standard counselling sessions. They also offer group sessions and roleplay sessions.
The main dating coach is female, so she may offer some useful advice from a female POV.
Thanks for sharing the online conversation.
It seems good to me, but I’m a noob with online, so I don’t know exactly where you went wrong.
I can only guess that asking for her number freaked her out or something. I’ve read that women can freak out if things go to fast. But if online is all about hooking-up, then they should be used to it???
TBH, my dating profiles have been roughly thrown together. My last profile pics look kinda stoned.
My next profile will be much more calculated, planned and based on expert advice. I could probably do way better than “I’m just a dude who likes to chill out”.
I haven’t had that much chance to really practice online texting ‘in the wild’ yet. I’m guessing women get hundreds of guys messaging them, so I must seem like just another random guy that wants sex.
She wanted sex to. She mentioned my dick. Lol yeah you’ve got a lot to learn. I’d stay away from a female dating coach. The golden rule is: take advice from people who have the results you want, and no one else.
It is beneficial to have a "I'll get every girl" mindset because you won't BS yourself when you're messing up. It's too easy to say "oh it wasn't a mutual attraction" as a cop out when you fail with a girl.
In sales I do the same thing, my goal is to get everyone. Of course that's not possible, but it forces me to keep improving and keep doing the best I can.
(08-21-2018, 06:48 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]It is beneficial to have a "I'll get every girl" mindset because you won't BS yourself when you're messing up. It's too easy to say "oh it wasn't a mutual attraction" as a cop out when you fail with a girl.
In sales I do the same thing, my goal is to get everyone. Of course that's not possible, but it forces me to keep improving and keep doing the best I can.
Agreed!
(08-21-2018, 06:48 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]It is beneficial to have a "I'll get every girl" mindset because you won't BS yourself when you're messing up. It's too easy to say "oh it wasn't a mutual attraction" as a cop out when you fail with a girl.
In sales I do the same thing, my goal is to get everyone. Of course that's not possible, but it forces me to keep improving and keep doing the best I can.
As long as it's not a desperate "I have to get every girl, if one is not into me then my whole world collapses" mindset it's ok.
More an abundance mindset "if she chooses differently then she misses out, not me. I can also get the next one." But it has to really be abundance and not an excuse to not go for that girl. You will feel the difference when you are alone at home. Do you feel bad alone? Scarcity mindset. Do you feel good and enjoy also your time alone because you know this is not always? Then it's abundance.
(08-21-2018, 08:54 AM)AriGold Wrote: [ -> ] (08-21-2018, 06:48 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]It is beneficial to have a "I'll get every girl" mindset because you won't BS yourself when you're messing up. It's too easy to say "oh it wasn't a mutual attraction" as a cop out when you fail with a girl.
In sales I do the same thing, my goal is to get everyone. Of course that's not possible, but it forces me to keep improving and keep doing the best I can.
As long as it's not a desperate "I have to get every girl, if one is not into me then my whole world collapses" mindset it's ok.
Obviously.
(08-21-2018, 08:54 AM)AriGold Wrote: [ -> ]More an abundance mindset "if she chooses differently then she misses out, not me. I can also get the next one." But it has to really be abundance and not an excuse to not go for that girl. You will feel the difference when you are alone at home. Do you feel bad alone? Scarcity mindset. Do you feel good and enjoy also your time alone because you know this is not always? Then it's abundance.
Forget all that. Abundance, scarcity, throw that stuff in the metaphysical trash.
All that matters are results. Are you getting them or not? Then be unafraid to admit the truth to yourself and courageous enough to meet the challenge.
One day we're all gonna be dead. All that matters is if you had the life YOU wanted, not if you felt abundance or not.
(08-21-2018, 09:59 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (08-21-2018, 08:54 AM)AriGold Wrote: [ -> ] (08-21-2018, 06:48 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]It is beneficial to have a "I'll get every girl" mindset because you won't BS yourself when you're messing up. It's too easy to say "oh it wasn't a mutual attraction" as a cop out when you fail with a girl.
In sales I do the same thing, my goal is to get everyone. Of course that's not possible, but it forces me to keep improving and keep doing the best I can.
As long as it's not a desperate "I have to get every girl, if one is not into me then my whole world collapses" mindset it's ok.
Obviously.
(08-21-2018, 08:54 AM)AriGold Wrote: [ -> ]More an abundance mindset "if she chooses differently then she misses out, not me. I can also get the next one." But it has to really be abundance and not an excuse to not go for that girl. You will feel the difference when you are alone at home. Do you feel bad alone? Scarcity mindset. Do you feel good and enjoy also your time alone because you know this is not always? Then it's abundance.
Forget all that. Abundance, scarcity, throw that stuff in the metaphysical trash.
All that matters are results. Are you getting them or not? Then be unafraid to admit the truth to yourself and courageous enough to meet the challenge.
One day we're all gonna be dead. All that matters is if you had the life YOU wanted, not if you felt abundance or not.
Couldn't agree more! You are evolving in your thinking. I am starting to think that there is WAYYY too much information on the subject of the law of attraction and most of that information is written by people who have never even tried it ( I am starting to believe ). There is also too much information on dating. And it seems like taking action, working and saying you want something ( rather than believing you already have it and waiting for it to appear into your life ) is taboo and a major sin. Like you cant do that. I am starting to believe that is bull but I cant simply assert that it is, I have to go out and try it to see the results for myself.
(08-21-2018, 09:59 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (08-21-2018, 08:54 AM)AriGold Wrote: [ -> ] (08-21-2018, 06:48 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]It is beneficial to have a "I'll get every girl" mindset because you won't BS yourself when you're messing up. It's too easy to say "oh it wasn't a mutual attraction" as a cop out when you fail with a girl.
In sales I do the same thing, my goal is to get everyone. Of course that's not possible, but it forces me to keep improving and keep doing the best I can.
As long as it's not a desperate "I have to get every girl, if one is not into me then my whole world collapses" mindset it's ok.
Obviously.
(08-21-2018, 08:54 AM)AriGold Wrote: [ -> ]More an abundance mindset "if she chooses differently then she misses out, not me. I can also get the next one." But it has to really be abundance and not an excuse to not go for that girl. You will feel the difference when you are alone at home. Do you feel bad alone? Scarcity mindset. Do you feel good and enjoy also your time alone because you know this is not always? Then it's abundance.
Forget all that. Abundance, scarcity, throw that stuff in the metaphysical trash.
All that matters are results. Are you getting them or not? Then be unafraid to admit the truth to yourself and courageous enough to meet the challenge.
One day we're all gonna be dead. All that matters is if you had the life YOU wanted, not if you felt abundance or not.
Just because you don't understand it, does not mean it is trash. It is about mindset. Is mindset also trash? Is everything trash that is not written in your PUA books?
If you live the life you want, you feel abundance.
It is more to be outcome independent and see beyond that. I mean if you get results on the outside or not, you still should be positive about your future expectations. When I read your journal it is mostly like "oh, I got IOIs, it is working, I am a god" and the next day "no woman looked at me, I do everything wrong". You are focusing upon the results only. That reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Lisa showed Homer a stone and told him that stone drives lions away. Homer was not sure to believe that. She said "do you see a lion?" He looks around... No lion. So that stone must be working and he then wants to buy that stone...
(08-21-2018, 11:04 AM)AriGold Wrote: [ -> ] (08-21-2018, 09:59 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (08-21-2018, 08:54 AM)AriGold Wrote: [ -> ] (08-21-2018, 06:48 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]It is beneficial to have a "I'll get every girl" mindset because you won't BS yourself when you're messing up. It's too easy to say "oh it wasn't a mutual attraction" as a cop out when you fail with a girl.
In sales I do the same thing, my goal is to get everyone. Of course that's not possible, but it forces me to keep improving and keep doing the best I can.
As long as it's not a desperate "I have to get every girl, if one is not into me then my whole world collapses" mindset it's ok.
Obviously.
(08-21-2018, 08:54 AM)AriGold Wrote: [ -> ]More an abundance mindset "if she chooses differently then she misses out, not me. I can also get the next one." But it has to really be abundance and not an excuse to not go for that girl. You will feel the difference when you are alone at home. Do you feel bad alone? Scarcity mindset. Do you feel good and enjoy also your time alone because you know this is not always? Then it's abundance.
Forget all that. Abundance, scarcity, throw that stuff in the metaphysical trash.
All that matters are results. Are you getting them or not? Then be unafraid to admit the truth to yourself and courageous enough to meet the challenge.
One day we're all gonna be dead. All that matters is if you had the life YOU wanted, not if you felt abundance or not.
Just because you don't understand it, does not mean it is trash. It is about mindset. Is mindset also trash? Is everything trash that is not written in your PUA books?
If you live the life you want, you feel abundance.
It is more to be outcome independent and see beyond that. I mean if you get results on the outside or not, you still should be positive about your future expectations. When I read your journal it is mostly like "oh, I got IOIs, it is working, I am a god" and the next day "no woman looked at me, I do everything wrong". You are focusing upon the results only. That reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Lisa showed Homer a stone and told him that stone drives lions away. Homer was not sure to believe that. She said "do you see a lion?" He looks around... No lion. So that stone must be working and he then wants to buy that stone...
Just because he called it trash does not mean he doesn't understand it. I am sure he does, I mean who doesn't here.
That is shallow stuff. And if you follow shallow stuff you will get shallow people with whom you will have shallow relationships.
If you are looking to become satisfied with your life on a deeper lever, look elsewhere.
Hunting for validation (which ultimately status-seeking behavior is) is a game with no end, and with just temporary emotional rewards.
Its all about the energy/vibe. Status, looks, money, etc. bring about certain energies/vibes, subconscious actions (actions, tonality, body language, eye contact, etc.)
We all know of the person (or heard of him) who has status/power/money/looks, but yet no beautiful women want him because he is a creep.
If you dont believe me, you either have bad info floating in your brain or simply have not been fked enough by beautiful women "outside your league." Most likely latter.
(08-21-2018, 11:42 AM)Leo1990 Wrote: [ -> ]Its all about the energy/vibe. Status, looks, money, etc. bring about certain energies/vibes, subconscious actions (actions, tonality, body language, eye contact, etc.)
We all know of the person (or heard of him) who has status/power/money/looks, but yet no beautiful women want him because he is a creep.
If you dont believe me, you either have bad info floating in your brain or simply have not been fked enough by beautiful women "outside your league." Most likely latter.
Yes it's all about energies/vibes and I would add beliefs as well.