11-16-2011, 11:46 AM
hey guys,
I'm new here. I'm a INTJ personality type looking to completely change. INTJ is a very good classification of my personality and mannerism and I do quite like some of the traits that comes as an INTJ. The wiki link I provided basically is a summary of my personality. It's quite surprising how accurate the myer briggs classification is!
However, I do not like the introversion aspect, which has quite hampered me socially. I can be social and make friends fine, it's not an extreme case of introversion, but I always feel worn out after socializing too much(I prefer peace and quiet) and have difficulty approaching people I don't know. I come as cool and reserved and naturally I don't feel inclined to socialized. I only socialize out of others expectations and to not seem different(not many people are INTJs). Unlike an alpha male, I do care about what other perceive of me. I'm also very analytical, great for work and such but horrible in relationships, another not alpha like characteristic.
As with any personality types, there are flaws and superior traits. I want to believe that AM2011 is my solution for ridding myself of flaws while keeping my better traits intact. After all, it seems that INTJ's only weakness is in social interactions. My goal is to become capable of gaining energy in social environments all the while being a leader to others. At the same time I want to change my romance life. In most cases of my life, I have always been the one chasing, and it never worked out well. I relied on the concept that I can get a girl to like me by interacting with them often and giving subtle attempts of affection. And that once I get some form of reciprocation, I would increase level of affection and eventually precipitate into a relationship.
After reading the suggested books, and through many failures, I have realized that the above procedure is useless and puts me at the mercy of girls. It's up to them to decide if they like me, whereas I should let them want me to choose them.Unfortunately this mentality would get me nowhere with my present self. I do not have a persona that attracts others and naturally girls don't become attracted. With AM2011 perhaps I can change this. So this journal will keep track of my observations and at the same time as a way to make sure that I'm on track. My end goal is to become an ENTP or at least an ENTJ. The biggest hurdle is the transition for introverted to extrovert.
So does the above seem like a good plan?
Wish me luck!
Day 1:
The first night I was a bit restless in my sleep, I put the volume at 25 and I could hear a bit of it when I position my ears facing the speaker. The sound eventually disappeared. Nothing too much to note the next day, I feel that my reading of the books, I was motivated to change and to act as described in the book, but my personality still held much of that off.
Day 2:
A better night of sleep. I got on a train today since I was going to the city to buy some new clothes. I was on the bike train and had an empty seat next to me. A girl in her mid 20's(I'm 20) approach me and asked to sit next to me, most likely cause that was the most convenient seat for her bike. I was in the middle of enjoying the view outside and was taken a back. So I quietly consented, avoiding eye contact and looked away.
She sat down next to me and we both remained quiet. In my mind I wanted to start a conversation, just because it was slightly awkward and also I wanted to step forward and practice doing this kind of thing. But I delayed too much, and eventually I felt that I've waited too long and that I've past the stage of appropriateness to initiate a conversation. That was the end of that.
At the mall, I was walking around and approached by a woman in her late 20's trying to sell me something. She was an exceptional salesman and led me around by the nose and caught me off guard. But my INTJ senses caught in her BS subtly and also kept my logical senses in check. After 30mins of talking with her and some serious deliberation, I decided to refuse buying. I left feeling glad that I refused, and that it was very alpha of me to not let her decide whats good for me. But still I was very close to succumbing to her suggestions, it was only my frugality and logic that saved me, not my sense that she has no right to decide my lifestyle.
So still, nothing alpha about me.
Day 3:
Spent the day reclusive for the most part and enjoying the sunday by myself.
Day4-6:
work, cubicle work is very quiet and has few interactions. After work I prefer to go straight back home, cook dinner and spend the rest of it online.
last night I recall vaguely of a dream where I was feeling alpha and acted alpha. It's unclear exactly what I was doing, but I felt that I came off somewhat like a jerk. There are 2 factors that could be influencing this, one is the audio tape, the other is my research these past days on AM2011 and reading of other journals that created these expectations.
It could be a combo of both, I don't know.
That's all so far, nearing the first week and so far alpha traits are still being repressed for the most part, even though my conscious mind desires for change. I realize that stage 1 is exactly for erasing these mentalities, but as you see, my mind is extremely critical, logical. I wonder if stage 1 would be enough to take down the walls of my subconscious?
Thanks again for reading this long intro post
-tianshiz
I'm new here. I'm a INTJ personality type looking to completely change. INTJ is a very good classification of my personality and mannerism and I do quite like some of the traits that comes as an INTJ. The wiki link I provided basically is a summary of my personality. It's quite surprising how accurate the myer briggs classification is!
However, I do not like the introversion aspect, which has quite hampered me socially. I can be social and make friends fine, it's not an extreme case of introversion, but I always feel worn out after socializing too much(I prefer peace and quiet) and have difficulty approaching people I don't know. I come as cool and reserved and naturally I don't feel inclined to socialized. I only socialize out of others expectations and to not seem different(not many people are INTJs). Unlike an alpha male, I do care about what other perceive of me. I'm also very analytical, great for work and such but horrible in relationships, another not alpha like characteristic.
As with any personality types, there are flaws and superior traits. I want to believe that AM2011 is my solution for ridding myself of flaws while keeping my better traits intact. After all, it seems that INTJ's only weakness is in social interactions. My goal is to become capable of gaining energy in social environments all the while being a leader to others. At the same time I want to change my romance life. In most cases of my life, I have always been the one chasing, and it never worked out well. I relied on the concept that I can get a girl to like me by interacting with them often and giving subtle attempts of affection. And that once I get some form of reciprocation, I would increase level of affection and eventually precipitate into a relationship.
After reading the suggested books, and through many failures, I have realized that the above procedure is useless and puts me at the mercy of girls. It's up to them to decide if they like me, whereas I should let them want me to choose them.Unfortunately this mentality would get me nowhere with my present self. I do not have a persona that attracts others and naturally girls don't become attracted. With AM2011 perhaps I can change this. So this journal will keep track of my observations and at the same time as a way to make sure that I'm on track. My end goal is to become an ENTP or at least an ENTJ. The biggest hurdle is the transition for introverted to extrovert.
So does the above seem like a good plan?
Wish me luck!
Day 1:
The first night I was a bit restless in my sleep, I put the volume at 25 and I could hear a bit of it when I position my ears facing the speaker. The sound eventually disappeared. Nothing too much to note the next day, I feel that my reading of the books, I was motivated to change and to act as described in the book, but my personality still held much of that off.
Day 2:
A better night of sleep. I got on a train today since I was going to the city to buy some new clothes. I was on the bike train and had an empty seat next to me. A girl in her mid 20's(I'm 20) approach me and asked to sit next to me, most likely cause that was the most convenient seat for her bike. I was in the middle of enjoying the view outside and was taken a back. So I quietly consented, avoiding eye contact and looked away.
She sat down next to me and we both remained quiet. In my mind I wanted to start a conversation, just because it was slightly awkward and also I wanted to step forward and practice doing this kind of thing. But I delayed too much, and eventually I felt that I've waited too long and that I've past the stage of appropriateness to initiate a conversation. That was the end of that.
At the mall, I was walking around and approached by a woman in her late 20's trying to sell me something. She was an exceptional salesman and led me around by the nose and caught me off guard. But my INTJ senses caught in her BS subtly and also kept my logical senses in check. After 30mins of talking with her and some serious deliberation, I decided to refuse buying. I left feeling glad that I refused, and that it was very alpha of me to not let her decide whats good for me. But still I was very close to succumbing to her suggestions, it was only my frugality and logic that saved me, not my sense that she has no right to decide my lifestyle.
So still, nothing alpha about me.
Day 3:
Spent the day reclusive for the most part and enjoying the sunday by myself.
Day4-6:
work, cubicle work is very quiet and has few interactions. After work I prefer to go straight back home, cook dinner and spend the rest of it online.
last night I recall vaguely of a dream where I was feeling alpha and acted alpha. It's unclear exactly what I was doing, but I felt that I came off somewhat like a jerk. There are 2 factors that could be influencing this, one is the audio tape, the other is my research these past days on AM2011 and reading of other journals that created these expectations.
It could be a combo of both, I don't know.
That's all so far, nearing the first week and so far alpha traits are still being repressed for the most part, even though my conscious mind desires for change. I realize that stage 1 is exactly for erasing these mentalities, but as you see, my mind is extremely critical, logical. I wonder if stage 1 would be enough to take down the walls of my subconscious?
Thanks again for reading this long intro post
-tianshiz
Have fun on Alpha Male.