Subliminal Talk

I've been away for a while. Events in my life have propelled me into facing the issues that I wrote at length about in the past. I'm ready to make serious life changes in the interest of my own happiness. Listening to my fears in exchange for a false sense of comfort is no longer sufficient or acceptable. This conscious effort has stirred up a lot of shit that I buried or avoided for years. I've been experiencing some intense emotional responses, which demonstrate how fiercely I've been protecting myself.

I'm not here to run ASC or emotional healing. For now I'm going to deal with this the old fashioned way. But one thing I need to get a handle on is PE, and I was one of the people that harassed Shannon about doing OPE in 5G. Not many journals on this, but I really hope to see results. Ars0n1st wrote about how it bolstered his sexual confidence, which is something I sorely need. I need to break my dry spell, and then continue to get laid on the regular. This is something that's creating a huge imbalance in my life.

Majority of my listening will be US while I sleep. I'll try to get in 1-2 plays via TS during the day. It's a single stage, 30m sub, which works with my life right now. I see myself averaging 6-7h a day, which is 12-14 listens. Not the 8h ideal, but I'll be running this on repeat for months.

I wish you luck, Dubls. You've only got one life to live, so happiness should be your top priority. And if that means OPE, then go for it!

As you said, this might be a deep rooted subconscious issue. I think a run of DMSI-A would be greatly beneficial for you, not only lifting your limiting beliefs in this area, but may also help you break your dry spell. Then you could go full time OPE 5G. That's only my opinion

Whoa.

It's only been 4 or 5 days but this morning I woke up with some serious anxiety. Haven't felt it that bad in a while. I was also quite tired and ended up sleeping like four more hours until noon. Then, I got up and ate, hung out for a little, and napped for a few more hours! I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I felt like a useless piece of shit.

The anxiety could be resistance, and the need for all that extra sleep could be the 5G attacking my brain, but is that possible so soon? I've only had around 30h of exposure. Could it be that it's kicking in faster because the audio is only 30m, and therefore I'm being exposed to the whole script twice per hour?

8 hours a day isn't the ideal for 5G, it's the minimum.

5G doesn't "attack" your brain. It exercises it. And your brain will respond by adapting. If that was what you are experiencing, you'd have experienced it on days 1 - 4 and see it lessening by now. The pattern you describe deals with resistance responses and dealing with deep processing of whatever is holding you back.

5G is not weak. It can kick in in just minutes depending on what the goal of the program is. In this case, it took some days to build up enough momentum to seriously agitate whatever it is you have holding you back. All you need to do is keep going.

(06-27-2018, 07:31 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]All you need to do is keep going.

@Shannon That I will.

07.02

I'm experiencing the side effect of needing more sleep as well as continued anxiety—majority of which is in the morning.

To date I've completed 67 hours. Now there was some talk about the effect of the program during self-pleasure vs with a partner. As far as I know it's designed for the latter. I haven't had sex yet while being on OPE, but in the past week or so while watching porn I've noticed that my arousal response is different. Erection quality is the same, but it takes a little longer to get to the point of no return. A couple of times I've noticed myself getting really aroused and then it's like something kicks in and the arousal drops down from like a 7 or 8 to a 5 or 6.

Other than the obvious desired result of gaining complete control over when I orgasm, I'm interested in this program's ability to uncover how much of my PE is mental (I suspect it's the majority of the problem) vs how much is physical—is my penis more sensitive than most for example.

Continuing on my last observation, I'm noticing that it's gotten a little easier to focus on my breathing, which sort of grounds my arousal response. Now I did start meditating again recently, but I don't practise the 'follow your breath' style of meditation, rather it's a catch and release style of noticing sensations and letting them go.

Another thing I'm noticing is that because I'm not used to lasting for an extended period [extended being a relative term] of time, I find myself feeling a little impatient when I do. This is a mental shift that'll take time to cement—learning to simply moderate and enjoy sexual pleasure indefinitely.

(07-12-2018, 08:37 AM)Dubls Wrote: [ -> ]Another thing I'm noticing is that because I'm not used to lasting for an extended period [extended being a relative term] of time, I find myself feeling a little impatient when I do. This is a mental shift that'll take time to cement—learning to simply moderate and enjoy sexual pleasure indefinitely.

U mean to say that u can now last longer but u feel frustrated? Something like that?

(07-12-2018, 11:48 AM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]

(07-12-2018, 08:37 AM)Dubls Wrote: [ -> ]Another thing I'm noticing is that because I'm not used to lasting for an extended period [extended being a relative term] of time, I find myself feeling a little impatient when I do. This is a mental shift that'll take time to cement—learning to simply moderate and enjoy sexual pleasure indefinitely.

U mean to say that u can now last longer but u feel frustrated? Something like that?

It's too early to say that I'm experiencing any concrete results. I'm just describing what I notice as I go. We'll see where the dust settles.

Update - 2 months
I still haven't broken my dry spell aka had sex so I don't know yet whether the program is having its intended effect. I get 90% of my exposure from US while I'm sleeping, combined with the odd trickling stream during waking hours. I average 7h of sleep per night and the method of exposure hasn't changed since the days of AM3:

Logitech Z623 2.1 Speaker System. L and R speaker, positioned on the L and R sides of the bed, respectively. Each speaker is on a stand, with height adjusted so that the L and R speakers point directly (i.e. in a straight line) at my L and R ears, respectively. For reference, the set up is done with me lying in the middle of the bed on my back. I periodically use FrequenSee to check that the volume at each speaker is hovering around -27 dB.

And even with all these measures, as well as my experience/results with six-stage subs, I still have reservations about US because I can't consciously hear it. It leaves doubt in my mind. But I don't sleep well with OS or TS running.

I just wanted to put that out there.

What I'm going to say next has nothing to do with my thoughts about US. I'm thinking about switching to ASC. Self confidence is something I've cultivated over the past decade — much of which had to do with transforming my body. If you've read any of my old journals, you know that I discuss self-confidence (or lack thereof) time and again. I've come a long way [that's an understatement] and I continue to recognize—especially now that I'm near the peak of my attractiveness—that I should have way more self-confidence. It's a root-level issue. I imagine @Shannon has thought deeply about root-level issues vs satellite issues during sub development, and I have been thinking more about this lately.

PE is a complex issue in itself. Instead of writing another paragraph or two trying to explain my understanding of my own PE, it is my opinion that a high level of self-confidence will have a positive impact on my PE, both psychologically and physically i.e. more frequent results with women equals consistent exposure to stimulation.

The two most important facets of self-development to me at this point in my life are confidence and sexuality. I want high-level and sustainable* self-confidence. I also feel that I need to do a lot of fucking in order to correct the imbalance in my life from being begrudgingly celibate (which was intimately but not exclusively tied to confidence issues). It's more than that though. I need to develop a sexual identity / define myself as a sexual creature. I look forward to the shifts in mind and mood that come with this.

But what bout guilt, shame and fear? Root-level issues aren't mutually exclusive. In my case I would swap out guilt for doubt. Certainly DSF are tied to confidence and sexuality. I'm more inclined to double down on confidence than focus strictly on healing/repairing.

Ok, I've talked a lot. So that's where I'm at.

Close to the 3 month mark with OPE aka the point where one should start to see results with a single stage program (mind you I've averaged less than the recommended 8h a day, but planned to offset this by running the program for much longer), yet I'm contemplating this change.

I've been doing ASC for about 2 weeks. It's what I need right now, and for the foreseeable future. I need to build up my confidence every way that I can.

Some of the best moments of AM and SM were the surges of confidence. What I've felt so far from ASC is a more balanced confidence. I've noticed a short term effect from listening to the trickling stream track, so I try to do that 1 or more times a day. Also playing ultrasonic at night.

Update: I've been doing ASC for just over a month and a half. I run US at night and listen to TS with headphones once a day. Probably not meeting the daily minimum requirement of 8h, but I need to live my life. Plus I'm no worried because I'm in it for the long term.

I do believe the program is starting to take effect. I've had to make some difficult decisions lately; and I've also been dealing with inner conflict over a relationship gone south. When I started listening to ASC, I noticed that it functioned as a sort of upper in the midst of those things. It made me feel better, but it was a band-aid at best. Then I hit a rough patch of shit feelings/moods. ASC didn't seem to make a difference. I questioned whether it was worth continuing.

But recently I've been feeling empowered and I've noticed that my mind is moving into new ways of thinking about things that used to get me down. Do I feel like a walking example of the the bullet points on the product page? No. But there is a change, and it's refreshing.

I think I've been putting out confident energy that's more powerful than what I actually feel. Can the program do that? I've noticed heightened attention from women that's actually caught me off guard a few times. It's like they can smell it.