I was wondering what some of the less obvious side effects of having very high self esteem would be?
Like for example, if someone hated working, would having higher self esteem make them enjoy work more because they are internally at peace and feel better about themselves then when they had low self esteem.
(01-08-2018, 09:02 AM)Raykon Wrote: [ -> ]I was wondering what some of the less obvious side effects of having very high self esteem would be?
Like for example, if someone hated working, would having higher self esteem make them enjoy work more because they are internally at peace and feel better about themselves then when they had low self esteem.
Pumping up one's self esteem still wouldn't change how they feel about their job. Self esteem is how one feels about their self. It might make them tolerate their job better because they have an emotional buffer to their perceived suffering but I don't think they'd enjoy their work more.
In Nathaniel Brandon's "6 pillars of self esteem" he outlines the difference between high self esteem and optimal self esteem.
In essence; high self esteem or too high self esteem can sometimes be detrimental to a person's well being (think of a narcissist). Conversely, optimal (or healthy self esteem) is fundamental to a person's well being.
Too high self esteem has unintended side effects. Beyond narcissism, in the same way you feel pain when you step on something sharp, acknowledging hurtful emotions is necessary for growth. Inflating one's own self esteem to nullify the pain of the world would be the same as taking a drug or drinking alcohol. Just because you don't feel it, doesn't mean it isn't there.
Same would apply to socialising. You could behave like a complete dick because you were riding a self esteem high and begin to lose empathy for people who have lower self esteem.
(01-08-2018, 09:16 AM)Determined Wrote: [ -> ] (01-08-2018, 09:02 AM)Raykon Wrote: [ -> ]I was wondering what some of the less obvious side effects of having very high self esteem would be?
Like for example, if someone hated working, would having higher self esteem make them enjoy work more because they are internally at peace and feel better about themselves then when they had low self esteem.
Pumping up one's self esteem still wouldn't change how they feel about their job. Self esteem is how one feels about their self. It might make them tolerate their job better because they have an emotional buffer to their perceived suffering but I don't think they'd enjoy their work more.
In Nathaniel Brandon's "6 pillars of self esteem" he outlines the difference between high self esteem and optimal self esteem.
In essence; high self esteem or too high self esteem can sometimes be detrimental to a person's well being (think of a narcissist). Conversely, optimal (or healthy self esteem) is fundamental to a person's well being.
Too high self esteem has unintended side effects. Beyond narcissism, in the same way you feel pain when you step on something sharp, acknowledging hurtful emotions is necessary for growth. Inflating one's own self esteem to nullify the pain of the world would be the same as taking a drug or drinking alcohol. Just because you don't feel it, doesn't mean it isn't there.
Same would apply to socialising. You could behave like a complete dick because you were riding a self esteem high and begin to lose empathy for people who have lower self esteem.
That's what I mean though, the "buffer" would make work seem more enjoyable because of less suffering. I imagine that's true.
I don't know much about narcissism to add any input there but I can say one thing for sure. At the end you mention I might lose empathy towards people with low self esteem. My two best friends are extremely low self esteem and i'm constantly trying to motivate and inspire them to better themselves, through self development, gym and subliminals and by giving them advice CONSTANTLY.
Because i'm so passionate about them and my self esteem is higher then it's ever been I can assume that for me personally high self esteem does not make me lose empathy but if anything even more empathetic because I want people to feel as good as I do because I had low self esteem myself.
Narcissism isn't a result of self esteem, no matter how much of it you have. It's a result of too much false ego, too much focus on oneself and a state of confusion/delusion about what is and is not real concerning one's personal value as compared to the value of others.
False ego is based in insecurity and fear. Focus on oneself to a high degree is usually based in feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Narcissism, then, is a state of delusion based in feelings of inferiority and insecurity as to one's actual value, which is used to hide the self from those facts as well as hide them from others.
Self esteem is not about those things. With self esteem, narcissism would dissolve because self esteem kills the feelings of insecurity and inferiority and replaces them with something positive and genuine instead. Without that sense of inferiority and the insecurity it generates and is based in, there is no need to focus on the self to the exclusion of others, nor constantly reassure the self of how wonderful it is, neither delude the self into believing that it is better than everyone else around.
A Narcissist always blame others for his mistake, I have been around some narcissist for a while, It's not great and most people doesn't notice.
It's hard to actually noticed it even if you are warned before you actually meet the person.
Some narcissist are so into themselves that they never consider that it could them who did the mistake. And they believe it so much that people think it's true. They are actually very good at convincing others that what they think it's true because for them what others think doesn't even exist.
I agree with Shannon about the false ego thing, but those guys really believe strongly that they are literally making the rules of life, and at the same time it's paradoxical because they are full of insecurities, which they will often use as way to prove that they are right.
I often study them and i'm always amazed by how far they will go while others think it's completely legitimate. What's worse is that they are often in leadership role, CEO.
And beware they are more narcissists around you than you may think.
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