I know someone who used the approach anxiety sub and it worked for him because he doesn't gets anxiety but still he can't approach women. Myself most of the time I don't have anxiety but same again I can't approach, it just doesn't feels right. I don't maybe also feelings of if other people watching me or it's right to approach women like that so what could be the reason?
I have the same issue, even after running am2011.
There's no quickfix, you just have to go up and do it. We learn by social experiment, the only way to overcome this lack of approach anxiety is to get up there and learn what's effective once you talk to a stranger. The AA that you're getting isn't really AA, since i assume you aren't nervous, but what I call it is that you haven't had enough experience learning exactly what to do/say when you do approach a woman.
I'll just throw my opinion in here. I'm not sure if you mean cold approaching, which is way more difficult because you are pretty much going in there blind. Consider this, if a woman is giving you signals then she wants you to come over. Knowing that just go about your day and be aware of who is giving you signs of interest and if anyone catches your eye just approach them.
You see when it comes to interactions between men and women, women will always have the final say in the matter. That's why it's better to know a woman is interested in you so you won't be wasting your time with someone that has no interest.
Also about it not feeling right, it might feel that way if you are just approaching random girls. Hang back a little and let the women show you they are interested before going over and approaching them. As most of us know women tend to be very indirect, most of the time to avoid rejection themselves. So if a girl gives you signs of interest, she is not going to reject you because she is already interested in you.
Mat is right...only approach those girls that show you signals that they are interested: eye contact, proximity, body language, etc.
It could be that he doesn't want to approach? Or it could be that he has other confidence issues and should run through Alpha Male. He may have to consciously push himself to approach since he hasn't done it much at all.
Ryan
(09-11-2011, 03:02 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]I'll just throw my opinion in here. I'm not sure if you mean cold approaching, which is way more difficult because you are pretty much going in there blind. Consider this, if a woman is giving you signals then she wants you to come over. Knowing that just go about your day and be aware of who is giving you signs of interest and if anyone catches your eye just approach them.
You see when it comes to interactions between men and women, women will always have the final say in the matter. That's why it's better to know a woman is interested in you so you won't be wasting your time with someone that has no interest.
Also about it not feeling right, it might feel that way if you are just approaching random girls. Hang back a little and let the women show you they are interested before going over and approaching them. As most of us know women tend to be very indirect, most of the time to avoid rejection themselves. So if a girl gives you signs of interest, she is not going to reject you because she is already interested in you.
What the hell? Maybe you guys are having the problem that you really believe that the woman has the final say in the matter. That would mean you're still trying to ask for her permission, which would in turn mean you've got it fundamentally backwards. You do your thing, and if she wants to come along, she can - with your permission - but otherwise, you do your thing, and the only person you need permission from is you.
Who cares what she thinks? When you don't NEED her, you are free to attract her BECAUSE you don't need her. Stop trying to make it a begging contest for her attention and interest, guys! Be your own man, do your own thing, and if you approach from not needing her for anything, you can approach in ways that mean you don't need her to like you, or respond positively, etc. Thus the "who cares what she thinks". Socializing is just a fun game. Anything beyond that is what it is, but needing it before the get-go means your ship has been sunk. And if you're thinking like that, go run alpha again until you don't.
We're not mice here, guys. We don't need to be afraid of women. They're just human, just like us. Repeat after me: she is just another person, and just like everyone else. Nothing special about her as a person to go talk to. Stop trying so hard and let it happen. Just approach without expectations. You're having trouble because you're afraid of being rejected, and you're afraid of being rejected because you aren't secure enough in yourself to not need what you want from her. She can sense it a mile away, and it screams low value male!
When you take away all risk, you take away all fear. When you don't need anything from her, or even much care what she does, there is no risk. When you are secure and able to fulfill your own needs, wants and desires, you don't need to worry how any woman responds to you - leaving you free to walk over and say something spontaneously, without worrying about what will happen or where it will go.
OP didn't say how long the program was used for, but I'd bet it was 32 days exactly. That program may take longer. Keep going until it works.
(09-12-2011, 06:31 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (09-11-2011, 03:02 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]I'll just throw my opinion in here. I'm not sure if you mean cold approaching, which is way more difficult because you are pretty much going in there blind. Consider this, if a woman is giving you signals then she wants you to come over. Knowing that just go about your day and be aware of who is giving you signs of interest and if anyone catches your eye just approach them.
You see when it comes to interactions between men and women, women will always have the final say in the matter. That's why it's better to know a woman is interested in you so you won't be wasting your time with someone that has no interest.
Also about it not feeling right, it might feel that way if you are just approaching random girls. Hang back a little and let the women show you they are interested before going over and approaching them. As most of us know women tend to be very indirect, most of the time to avoid rejection themselves. So if a girl gives you signs of interest, she is not going to reject you because she is already interested in you.
What the hell? Maybe you guys are having the problem that you really believe that the woman has the final say in the matter. That would mean you're still trying to ask for her permission, which would in turn mean you've got it fundamentally backwards. You do your thing, and if she wants to come along, she can - with your permission - but otherwise, you do your thing, and the only person you need permission from is you.
Who cares what she thinks? When you don't NEED her, you are free to attract her BECAUSE you don't need her. Stop trying to make it a begging contest for her attention and interest, guys! Be your own man, do your own thing, and if you approach from not needing her for anything, you can approach in ways that mean you don't need her to like you, or respond positively, etc. Thus the "who cares what she thinks". Socializing is just a fun game. Anything beyond that is what it is, but needing it before the get-go means your ship has been sunk. And if you're thinking like that, go run alpha again until you don't.
We're not mice here, guys. We don't need to be afraid of women. They're just human, just like us. Repeat after me: she is just another person, and just like everyone else. Nothing special about her as a person to go talk to. Stop trying so hard and let it happen. Just approach without expectations. You're having trouble because you're afraid of being rejected, and you're afraid of being rejected because you aren't secure enough in yourself to not need what you want from her. She can sense it a mile away, and it screams low value male!
When you take away all risk, you take away all fear. When you don't need anything from her, or even much care what she does, there is no risk. When you are secure and able to fulfill your own needs, wants and desires, you don't need to worry how any woman responds to you - leaving you free to walk over and say something spontaneously, without worrying about what will happen or where it will go.
OP didn't say how long the program was used for, but I'd bet it was 32 days exactly. That program may take longer. Keep going until it works.
I see I stirred up a bit of a response in you Shannon. Perhaps my wording was a little off. What I mean by "Women will have the final say in the matter" is if she isn't interested, then no amount of charming her or trying to woo her will change that. If that is the case and a guy likes a girl it's important that he realizes that it is wasted effort.
But having said that I see how it's the wrong mentality and it is reflective of needing something from her. Also most guys here are probably above that neediness.
Now I'm seeing something else that wasn't apparent. Approaching a woman without seeing signals of interest from her shouldn't be something for me to worry about, but it is. So back to the alpha male it is for me. Looks like I was using tactics to see interest so I knew I couldn't be rejected, but that completely goes against the idea of being indifferent to the outcome.
No more advice giving for me until I sort out this mindset! I apologize for the confusion OP and anybody else that might be reading this. Also Shannon thanks for stepping in and setting things straight.
(09-12-2011, 03:43 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ] (09-12-2011, 06:31 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (09-11-2011, 03:02 PM)mat422 Wrote: [ -> ]I'll just throw my opinion in here. I'm not sure if you mean cold approaching, which is way more difficult because you are pretty much going in there blind. Consider this, if a woman is giving you signals then she wants you to come over. Knowing that just go about your day and be aware of who is giving you signs of interest and if anyone catches your eye just approach them.
You see when it comes to interactions between men and women, women will always have the final say in the matter. That's why it's better to know a woman is interested in you so you won't be wasting your time with someone that has no interest.
Also about it not feeling right, it might feel that way if you are just approaching random girls. Hang back a little and let the women show you they are interested before going over and approaching them. As most of us know women tend to be very indirect, most of the time to avoid rejection themselves. So if a girl gives you signs of interest, she is not going to reject you because she is already interested in you.
What the hell? Maybe you guys are having the problem that you really believe that the woman has the final say in the matter. That would mean you're still trying to ask for her permission, which would in turn mean you've got it fundamentally backwards. You do your thing, and if she wants to come along, she can - with your permission - but otherwise, you do your thing, and the only person you need permission from is you.
Who cares what she thinks? When you don't NEED her, you are free to attract her BECAUSE you don't need her. Stop trying to make it a begging contest for her attention and interest, guys! Be your own man, do your own thing, and if you approach from not needing her for anything, you can approach in ways that mean you don't need her to like you, or respond positively, etc. Thus the "who cares what she thinks". Socializing is just a fun game. Anything beyond that is what it is, but needing it before the get-go means your ship has been sunk. And if you're thinking like that, go run alpha again until you don't.
We're not mice here, guys. We don't need to be afraid of women. They're just human, just like us. Repeat after me: she is just another person, and just like everyone else. Nothing special about her as a person to go talk to. Stop trying so hard and let it happen. Just approach without expectations. You're having trouble because you're afraid of being rejected, and you're afraid of being rejected because you aren't secure enough in yourself to not need what you want from her. She can sense it a mile away, and it screams low value male!
When you take away all risk, you take away all fear. When you don't need anything from her, or even much care what she does, there is no risk. When you are secure and able to fulfill your own needs, wants and desires, you don't need to worry how any woman responds to you - leaving you free to walk over and say something spontaneously, without worrying about what will happen or where it will go.
OP didn't say how long the program was used for, but I'd bet it was 32 days exactly. That program may take longer. Keep going until it works.
I see I stirred up a bit of a response in you Shannon. Perhaps my wording was a little off. What I mean by "Women will have the final say in the matter" is if she isn't interested, then no amount of charming her or trying to woo her will change that. If that is the case and a guy likes a girl it's important that he realizes that it is wasted effort.
But having said that I see how it's the wrong mentality and it is reflective of needing something from her. Also most guys here are probably above that neediness.
Now I'm seeing something else that wasn't apparent. Approaching a woman without seeing signals of interest from her shouldn't be something for me to worry about, but it is. So back to the alpha male it is for me. Looks like I was using tactics to see interest so I knew I couldn't be rejected, but that completely goes against the idea of being indifferent to the outcome.
No more advice giving for me until I sort out this mindset! I apologize for the confusion OP and anybody else that might be reading this. Also Shannon thanks for stepping in and setting things straight.
Shannon is referring to talking to everyone including women just for fun, like you would socialize with people when you're out and about. I'm acquiring that mindset with little need to pursue anything but... yes by noticing subtle signs of interest and acting upon them is going to spark some great sexual chemistry.
Ryan
I'm referring to removing the importance of talking to any particular person because of one's perception of them, Ryan. We build others up to be more important than they are, and presume we should be nervous about it. At least that's part of the problem. Socializing for fun is part of my solution.
(09-10-2011, 04:53 PM)Hypnoticeyes Wrote: [ -> ]I know someone who used the approach anxiety sub and it worked for him because he doesn't gets anxiety but still he can't approach women. Myself most of the time I don't have anxiety but same again I can't approach, it just doesn't feels right. I don't maybe also feelings of if other people watching me or it's right to approach women like that so what could be the reason?
That doesn't make sense. He has no approach anxiety but can't approach?
If he has no Approach Anxiety and he is not approaching, then it must be because he does not WANT to approach, not because he can't.
Why can't he? Can't implies that he desires to but is unable to. The fact that it is even an issue to talk about for this guy must mean that he wants to meet women and if he wants to meet women and it's an issue that can't approach then he must be afraid of approaching.
Either that or he simply does not want to.
It sounds like you might want to get to the heart of what is really going on here, because to say that he has no anxiety on approaching but then to say that he can't in my mind really means that he just doesn't want to. Or it means that he's scared to. It's one or the other.
This is interesting here. I notice that my anxiety is directly related to that feeling of HAVING to do something. If I just walk around and talk to the girls that I encounter or that come to me on my travels, no matter how hot they are, I have no anxiety dealing with them at all. I wonder if approaching is simply unnatural.