This make remember I once exposed one my sex friend to the ultrasonic version of the X24 or X124 I don't remember which and instantly after that she started to have a big pain in her back.
I'm not sure the events are related but the coincidence was crazy as I never saw her having back pain before or after that. It was a real back pain as far as I saw.
The subconscious has some very different "logic" than the conscious mind does. That it is nearly impossible to implement a simple "if-then" logic statement effectively should be a testament to that.
The subconscious may resist what seems like blatant common sense to the conscious mind for reasons that seem completely ridiculous to the conscious mind. I have yet to see a situation where it does not eventually boil down to some sort of fear though.
Fear holding you back from being fully healthy sounds like a subconscious effort to give you an excuse for not being active, responsible or successful in some direction.
everybody wants to be healthy, but I see loads of people not eating healthy.....
everybody wants to be healthy, but I see loads of people not working out......
everybody wants to be healthy, but I see loads of people sitting still for hours on end.....
everybody wants to be healthy, but I see loads of people smoking......
everybody wants to be healthy, but I see loads of people eating sugar.....
people don't have the best mindset even though they want to be healthy
so i think it's natural for a lot of people that they would resist.
i am not saying you are one of these people but there are loads of these habits and thoughts.
Day 12
Nothing new to report really. Still listening to my loops as I go to sleep. Still having hunger problems throughout the day. Feeling tired as well but with a strict work schedule, hard to get more sleep. Hopefully I can survive to the weekend and then pass out. The only thing I'm worried about right now is that with all the food I'm eating, I'll get fatter but meh, I seem to be staying at about my same weight (which is unfortunately overweight).
Day 13
Hunger is no longer ravenous and more of just an increased need for food. I also felt like I needed to pee a lot today. On a different note, started feeling pain in my right thigh. Reminds me of a pain I've had before in my past. This is a much more real pain than the ghostly pain from my back before. Strangely it feels like I'm going through all my old pains again. Hard to tell if it's on purpose to heal it, resistance, or I just have been using my leg wrong and it has caused me pain. Also, tired and have had a low head pressure that hasn't evolved into a headache that's been here for at least the afternoon but only really noticeable when I focus on it. The tiredness is also making me feel kind of ragged. Hope this isn't a hint that I'm coming down with what my mother has/had sickness wise.
Otherwise, life is going on. Although I kind of really want to run DMSI 3.1 based on what people say but considering how much I seem to be resisting this, no idea how long that'll take to actually be effective. Doesn't really matter though. I figure I'll do 28 days of this, wait about a week or 2 and then jump onto the DMSI fun. I should be healthier and better by then, as well.
Day 14
Weird cycling of pain continues. First while I was trying to sleep, my left foot which I've hurt, somehow, before began to hurt. I had to actually use a cane to walk before. Unfortunately it was not an awesome came but it helped during that time none the less. This morning it was my upper chest and lung type area. That one had more to do with past breathing issues when I was young and had a mild case of asthma (mild enough I grew out of it).
Two other things: 1. I seem to still be peeing more than normal but less than yesterday. 2. I seem to be having some random moments of dread and fear. Not a full fight or flight, fear response but that sense that something is wrong or going to happen. One time occurred while I was looking into DMSI 3.1 journals and upon reflection seems to indicate certain underlying fears I have that may explain why I didn't get much with regards to results with DMSI 3.0.1A as my naturally resistant personality seemed to have combined with those fears to prevent some of the results. It's possible this dread is from the leftovers of my run with DMSI since I jumped into MHS without a break but the random moments of dread beyond that confuses me. None of the fear that I was reflecting upon had anything to do with MHS and being healthy. So I don't what type of fear I'd have that would cause such resistance to it.
Hopefully this will be resolved over the next couple of days because it is annoying to have that feeling of mild dread sitting on me at times without any real context.
Day 15-16
Nothing new to report. Hunger seems to be dying down to just more than normal (hopefully I'm not just feeling remnants and overeating like I fear to some degree). Peeing more than I originally was but that's down compared to previous days. Don't remember noticing any pains the last 2 days either. Slightly more tired than normal. Will probably be more tired tomorrow due to switching to daylight savings and losing the hour. Still have minor head pressure when I think about it, which is rarely.
Other than that, still keeping with the masked track. Going to stay with it and see the results as the hybrid led to massive acid (probably resistance) and ultrasonic by itself causes me problems.
Day 17-19
Not sure if sickness or resistance but not feeling as well as I could be after last night. Acid issues in the night and feeling like shit. Ironically, I don't get paid until tomorrow, so I can't get MIS until tomorrow, even if I wanted to. Kind of coughing with lungs, hard to tell if damage or illness. Then again, I have that feeling of being ill but I've had that before with nothing really wrong. I'll grab MIS if it gets a little worse. Kind of frustrating when only a little more than a week for the 28 days I was going to do. Also sucks is that I'm at a new job and don't get paid sick leave until 90 days in, which is around May.
Day 20
Feeling a lot better than yesterday. I kind of wonder if the healing helped with whatever I had going on, it was resistance, or I just fought off whatever was wrong. Also, I'm pretty sure I only did about 2 or 3 loops last night instead of 5 because my laptop seems to have crashed in the middle of the night because I remember waking up, looking at the time, not hearing anything (ie: not hearing the trickling stream) and then going back to sleep. Based off time, it should have been somewhere in either the 3rd loop or near the beginning of the 4th loop. Hopefully won't have too much effect.
Back to nothing of note other than didn't seem that hungry today, almost back to my pre-MHS level of hunger. Which means I'll need to watch how much I eat because I do need to lose weight by cutting back on how much I eat.
Day 21-24
Nothing much has been happening the last few days and that's bothering me a bit. Hunger is down to around pre-sub levels (maybe just a little more) and I still have mild pains occasionally that I've had for awhile and the other issues. Not sure if resistance or what but thinking of switching back to the hybrid to see what happens for the last week I'm listening to MHS for a while. Then I'll move onto DMSI 3.1 for a few months and come back to MHS for a second run.
Day 25/26
Ugh, not much happened yesterday other than starting to feel slightly tired and a weird feeling of needing to eat more while my body told me it was full.
Today however I feel real tired and extremely hungry. I guess that period of nothing feeling like it was happening WAS resistance. Either that or my body just prioritized healing something much bigger that requires more energy.
I'm finding that MHS is doing things I can't necessarily follow easily myself, but it is certainly working on something at all times. I get the impression different tasks have very different necessary energies, energy requirements and goals, and when I can't easily tell what is going on it;s just working on something that uses its directions in a different way.
Day 27-28
Not much to say. Tonight will be last night I listen before I wait the week until the beginning of the next month and switch to DMSI. It's siren call has been calling, even if upon reflection while listening to MHS, I realized it's going to be hell with massive resistance from 2 different sources of fear. Neither of which explained my resistance for MHS. TBH, I think I'd probably need another month at least before I'd be fully healed. I'll probably come back after 3 months of DMSI to continue the healing but I'm going to follow my original plan and switch. I told myself 28 days of MHS and here I am.
Effects of MHS, my external hemerrhoid seems to be bleeding less overall but is not cured and I do occasionally still have a heavier bleed. Still have problems with my arms every once in a while, especially if too much on the computer. The one instance that was surprising was some of the healing done on my lip. Originally if I put heavy pressure on the one side it would cause me some pain. This was the result of a very difficult surgery to remove the wisdom tooth on that side. Now, it's only the discomfort one gets from putting pressure on ones lips. Still has a slight loss in feeling but is better.
Well, if anything happens in the next week, I'll post it but otherwise this journal is probably closed. On the fence on whether I should do one for DMSI 3.1. I know that's going to be hell, but at least I know to use masked instead of hybrid, which seemed to work better for me on this run.