Subliminal Talk

Work day. Worked today in the check cashing center of the store. Had some people transfer to another store so I had to plunge into things as a replacement and of course I rode it to the maximum. With Celebrity effect all girls where checking me out and having a longing for me to make something happen. I think I'm just getting used to a lot of the effect of the sub, the attention, stares, random chicks stopping in front of me, the caressing and holding my hands as I give change money back. The one thing different is that I've just got a lot more conformable with the whole thing. I had this one co-worker that was so into and open for me. We was sitting there watching TV during break time and she had all these urges to want to chat. Nothing new there it that now I was feeling such calm I could notice she was shaking she was so scared she didn't know what to say or do so she just like froze. I did tried to ease her into some conversation and help her out. I was like I did my best tried to give her a chance to talk to me. I realized that how I must of been long ago when I wanted to talk to a hot girl and how it must of been so hard to watch when someone has this throbbing desire to be with yea and a hard firm feeling of fear that's stopping them for anything happen. Even though had she got more open and relaxed it would of been fine. I've come along way.

Off day again. This is the last day of the full 32 days of Version B. I'm going to switch back to A for another 32 days and see how that goes. Overall I'd say that version B was stronger than A in the amount of attention I was getting. Also on Version B I had the effects of stronger confidence and aggressiveness also a feeling of carelessness that really changed me in how I talk to people and relate to them. So all in all another great addition form Shannon. I'm sure there's more great things ahead in the next version.

Back on A again. Same effect as before. I did have my usually boss girl that seems to always suddenly straddle up against me in trying to get by me. She always has a urge to ease herself around me. Had the girl that the antisniper had pushed away back today. She had such a naughty longing for me and he was really open for me. We'll see if she get herself together enough for her desire to be with me to happen. One thing that was out of the ordinary I was straddling a big load of items trying to plunge my way and release my load out at the self checkout. I was trying hard to fast and do it quickie however I caressed up against something and some of the items started to flow out of fingers and on to the floor. I did try to go down low and grab them. I was throbbing fast back and forth to get it in again. There was a older girl that noticing me from a ways out. She forced herself into my space and reached down and picked up all stuff and put it back in the holes that they had slid out. I was surprised, usually at work it's my job to load things for people etc. That was the first time for me random girl just walked up and helped me with my needs. Nice way to start off 1st day back on version A.

Another work day. Last few days things have just been in a state of celebrity effect the stand way I roll. One thing I have noticed for most of the time I've been using the sub I've got my appetite full just begin a high demand head cock guy whether that be at work or other social settings. In almost every setting there's just multiple girls that have a longing for me to be around them, flirt with. or they convince themselves to bump or straddle up next to me in my personal space. Always having a urge to plant themselves in front of me or thrust themselves angled my direct. Constant giving naughty looks like I'm a piece of meat. So I've eased myself into a state of that's just normal way I roll. The changes of late is that i'm beginning to lose all desire to even watch to see if they are checking me or notice me at all just a given. Also starting to just have a feeling that it just there job to chase after me try to hook up with me etc. I feel like this is just the last plateau before they really start making moves on me. Ether in this version or the next it's going to happen. One last thing just become or getting over fears of all kinds and being more conformable standing out and being myself. Things are more laid back on version A. B is much more aggressive.

Off day again. One of the major shifts that I've been saying been happening> Is of course girls been attracted to me in all. Would I be ok with it if something did happen? I guess that's the question as things keep pickup up slowly I've kind of had to stop myself for something did happen more than a few times after some of the stuff girls were doing to get me to notice them. As Shannon has been saying it's getting much harder for me to resist letting go and letting something happen.

Had my weekly meeting again. Been getting back to the feel of version A again. Been on B for a month prior. B has a much different feel to it. This week people just seemed to getting more comfortable been by me or in my space. Nothing new there I think I've been getting more and more eased in the way I'm allowing them to. Basically a lot less trying to defend my self after they have penetrated my space. Back to more healing.

Things are continuing to improve slowly on A. With the increased loops have been seeing a lot of internal changes like being ok with expressing myself increased confidence and just being comfortable in my own skin. Updates are a lot slower as in I waned to have something to report before keep posting. I did have a guys night out even with a couple of friends went to a most of the places did have a lot of girls there. I would say I'm having a minor effect on a lot of them and my reaction to them is shifting more to I'm already good enough without them kind of vibe. I might switch back to B again to see how it goes the second time around.

Had a 2 week 16 run back on B and I did see a increased effects of people noticing me I/e ioi's. After a while it seemed to stall out in the fact that yes I was getting noticed but very little was coming of it. On the last run of A things with varies females in my social circle was starting to advance slowly but I could see things improving. So perhaps more healing is needed. On a side note the Effect of my second run of high number loops 8+ of B was much stronger than my first run of 2 loops a day. So the higher number of loops is making things go faster perhaps it's something in me is still resisting things. I'm looking forward to 3.2.

Tonight was the first day of a 3 day evening meeting I have yearly. Back on Version A again. Had lots of hit ioi's from younger girls so I know its working plus my usually social circle etc. Had this one younger girl just keep putting her self around me pretty much tailing me although out the meeting or just standing looking at me deer in the headlights like. Gotten used to stuff like that. I had some drama with another girl and her boyfriend a while back so her and her friend are all acting strange around me. Like waiting to come talk to me but can't. So they just look/stare at a distance. My issue is and I've have said many times. Sure I could easily try to push things forward with helping them out by chasing after them. The thing is every time I there something like this going on ioi's I feel like I have to make it happen. So it's a mexican stand off they want me to chase them their supposed to chase me. The funny thing is one girl did case after me although she wasn't what I was looking for but she did make a effort so that was good. Need more of that. Have 2 more days to see how this goes.

Day 2 of my 3 day meeting. I had got there early so had some time to set up my gear for the rest of the time I was there. My dancer friend ask me to help her carry things in. Still feeling guilty being around cause she has man and it looks bad being around her so much without her man. The one thing about being back on A it makes things move forward at least with girls I already know etc. I mean version B get's me noticed faster but little else comes of it. The sister of my band member had being going with another guy in the group and she has this thing for me and constantly want to be up in my face all the time and I guess it pissed her bf off. So her and her girl friends act all awkward around me silent treatment etc. I'm ok with drama but it's like they wanted to talk me so bad and sitting up under me. I guess it'd piss off some of their friends so they act like they don't want to say anything, but it's a total joke. On the last note it might be something going on the the anti sniper thing. It very well could be a lot of girls I'm currently around aren't really stable or would be bad matches for me. That's happened in the past where girls that been in to me and had issues and things would of been a lot worse if I've had got with her. Would've had more problems.

Had my last day of my 3 day meet and it went to be expected. I will say that every girl that had some kind of attraction for me in the past was giving me ioi's, nothing new there. Had a lot these single mom types at the meeting. They constantly kept themselves in front of me or trying to get me to chase after them. I think what I've been running into a lot of girls I'm around just not that into. So of course I have no motivation to talk to them. They usually try to move things forward on there own by continually getting in my space eye contact etc. Basically the more I listen to version A get to the point where sure sex would be nice but a lot of these girls are messed up and would cause problems more than help. That's why I thinking the anti sniper thing has been kicking on a lot. Granted like in my meeting there's lots of available girls , single moms, or girls of of my age range that I could easily settle with. Of course I'd just be settling for something just have have something and there'll be none of that.

Like in previous post things are advancing slowly but steady. My dancer girl I've been talking about continues to get a lot more conformable being around me. She'd asked me to again to help her carry some stuff to her car again she seems to be all straddled up next to me. We was all close and person for a season time this week., but got interrupted. Also one of my girl co-workers have putting in some effort to be next to me help her with her work. In short at least what some girls I know pretty well had made some effort to try to be around me or make excuses to be closer to me. Seems a small thing but a very big step for me. Girl making some effort to move things along. That's what I'd like to see more of in the next version. Girl chasing guy.

Taking a break preparing for new version. I will say that i 've been using the program for quite a while. I've made a lot of progress with self effects and inner changes, great stuff. Looking forward to see what the next version brings.

After being done with the break from DMSI for a while and waiting for the new version. Been feeling the urge to meet more girls try some cold approaches see how that goes. I have some friends and they are very social with effortlessly tease and banter with the waitress every time we go out. Most times while I'm on dmsi I'm very laid back having no desire to chase after girls. Normally I prefer to focus on girls that already like me or that are in my social circle. While on DMSI it had strong effect on girls around me, although I still need a bit more work to ether stop resisting or escaping to take things to the next level.
One thing I will say that despite the fact that some of my friends are much more social I'm much stronger emotionally and is diffidently due to the fact of all that healing and clearing I've been doing. In that when they flirt banter they feel great if it goes well if the girl stops responding or it goes bad they are so let down and really feel bad about it or they hate the girls cause she wasn't into it.
There is a upcoming trip in a few weeks where I'll get a chance to go to St Louis for a bit stay a few nights. On my last trip to Wichita even though I was on break from dmsi went awesome. I had to chance to spend time with my dancer friend mostly uninterrupted. I had a chance to snuggle up next to her for a bit on the ride down and back. We were in view of others most of time so it was hard to escalate things physically, even though she was into it.I'm diffidently going to have to get comfortable escalating and kino cause it diffidently seems to have a effect.