Subliminal Talk

Day 7 (Thursday)

I just remembered my other dream I had, there was a cut girl looking at me in the distance. I looked at her, to check for any IOIs so I could approach. She smiled(even though I had some approach anxiety) and I went for it. I walked up to her, and sat beside her. We talked, even though I didn't say much with words. It went well, I woke up thinking this must be some auto training at work.

I feel more comfortable about approachs, I intended to give it a try this weekend.

Anyways the rest of the day, I choose to give myself an optional day(no worry, no goals, no working on self improvement, no expectations).

I didn't spend the doing much but that was the point. No junk food today, even though others around were eating them.

Now I'm in my bed relaxing, going to watch some tv before my loops. And, my bed feels way more comfortable than yesterday. I can almost fall asleep right now, I feel at peace.

Not much head pressure to report today. But, I know once healing clears one thing it's not long before it starts on something new.

Day 9 (Saturday)
I went out for my brothers birthday at a sushi all you can eat. I didn't over gorge, no real IOIs (not worried) they well come soon. I only had 3h30 sleep, I put on my loops before bed. I woke up once they finished, I just couldn't get back to sleep.

Day 10 (Sunday)

I haven't been keeping up with mine and others journal. I haven't been looking for changes from running DMSI. I haven't had a drink in 2 days, or PMO. I slept 8h+ last night, finally got some sleep.

First day of snow, took the truck out to find some empty lots. I spent a good time doing donuts and drifts. Finally winter is here my favourite time of the year.

Day 11-27(Wednesday)

So, it's been a while over 2 weeks. Let's me sum up what has been going on. First week I got into a new game called Ark that just came to ps4. I'm play with my two brothers, we started off as noobs. Now I'm the co-leader of the alpha tribe (even though u feel like I am the alpha of the tribe) on the hardest game mode they have. For the first week I missed 2 days of DMSI, I'm back on it without missing a day.

Some positives are, when I go in to a store I feel no anxiety anymore or fear. I just feel like hot shit, and for some reason I've been feeling taller lately. I have cut back my drink to at least half of what it was. I have been a lot more alpha lately, without even thinking about it. I well do something and I'll think after that was the alpha thing to do. Me and my family took a picture in a studio as a gift for my grandmother. And, I remember thinking when I saw it "dam, I'm look good". I've been a lot less approve seeking also.

Things I'm looking to improve on, cleaning my room, going to the gym (I got a year gym membership for Christmas), cuting back more on drinking, and more confidence.

Day 28- 55(Thursday)

So, not much has change till last couple days. I'm taking showers daily like before this restitance hit.
Not more upper head pressure after last night. I turned down the volume last night after reading a post. I slept 12 hours last night because I listen tot loops at night.

I went to the mall to do a return of Christmas presents. I came out the change room I got some big IOIs from one of the cute customers. She wouldn't stop starring, feels good to get my IOIs back. It's time for the next resistance to pop up. So, I can take it out.