I have a couple of days until I reach my first 32 days and all I can say is my last few days have been way better than my first few days. The things that were once rattling me, don't anymore, at least not as much. Though I've found that I still have a victim mentality and it's been interfering with my quality of life. Emotionally I feel like I'm in a better place emotionally but I know as soon as I get comfortable everything will start popping up.
I've been hating and loving this program. I've had days when I'm feeling bliss singing in my car like I don't care but after 20 mins of bliss I wake up from paradise and I feel anxiety, worry and guilt from all areas of my life. I've had some really good moments but afterwards the bs creeps up. I could be caring free one minute an then my mind reminds me of whatever to make me feel like shit. It sucks, just when I think I've finally reached the mountain top of my problems I come crashing down like Avalanche. The one thing I've realized that I need to work in is my emotional mastery. I've found that when something bugs me I can't ignore it and it keeps nagging me over and over. If I'm really tired then it's hard to ignore it. The hardest part of it all is trying to find peace of mind in the midst of chaos. More things keep popping up and sometimes the same old things but in new form.
For example, I was chilling and was on chill mode yesterday and then all of a sudden i got a message and it triggered a lot of emotional things that happened in the past. All of a sudden I felt out of step and my chillness was out of whack. I couldn't think, my mind was distracted and everything and it showed when talking with friends