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I titled this The Real E2 Review because I posted a review on E2 just three days into its use. If only I had known the amount of crap and glory past Bookstacks would be dragged through back then :P

My time with E2 was massively life changing.

I started E2 on April 22nd and ran it until about August 22nd when I decided to discontinue E2 in favor of DMSI.

What E2 did for me:

For the last few years of my life I've lived with constant anxiety, panic attacks and depression due to a terrible living situation and feeling unable to leave it due to my mental health and financial concerns.

Because of my poor mental state I became extremely socially isolated, staying in my room for days at a time, reading books on self-development with an obsessive interest, trying everything from hypnosis to psychedelic drugs to "cure" myself of my disorder.

Before starting E2 I dwelled daily on how best to kill myself because I felt the pain was too great. I was too blinded by pain and past failure to see at all what my options were in my life.

About 2 weeks into E2 my mother filed a restraining order against my father.

My panic attacks lessened and I began planning on finally leaving my terrible home situation, as I finally had a sense of clarity about what was going on.

My mother withdrew her restraining order case, lying to me about it and allowed my father back into the home, so I took a restraining order case out against my father.

My mother and older sister ended up siding with my father. I was removed from the home, lost my car and most of my money had been borrowed to my mom to help her.

I ended up sleeping on a friends floor until my parents realized where I was and began coming over daily to harass me.

I eventually ended up homeless, and lost my case against my father.

I was in a deep emotional hole as I quit my antidepressants cold turkey out of anger and was barely able to function.

There was a stretch of a few days where absolutely everything seemed unbearable. I had to choose between where I was staying and my mental health, because to do one would be to do without the other.

And then, slowly but surely, things began to turn around radically.

Out of guilt or shame my dad decided to give me his car and continue paying for it.

I gained admission into a Transitional Living Program aimed at helping homeless youth. I was set up with my own apartment and two room mates, and can live here for up to 24 months, rent free.

I got a job. I applied for financial aid and described my circumstances and was able to receive full aid. I applied for food stamps so I could get groceries.

I made several new and interesting friends and put myself into many different situations that allowed me to expand and become better.

I manifested a woman who I was able to share many of my challenges with and feel support from, a woman who I only had to be myself for to keep attracted. The more I continued on my path, the more attracted she became. This allowed me to tackle a ton of beliefs about myself and sexuality.

Just this last Monday I attended class and for the first time I didn't have a panic attack during the lesson.

I've dropped out 3 times and deferred my first semester of college due to my poor mental health.

It's simply a pleasure to be able to sit in a classroom and listen to an instructor and not worry about being anxious.

And I'm not fully healed. I have a long way to go towards that, but I've changed everything in my life so drastically in just 4 months.

So many things are still hard for me.

I felt I had to repress a lot of things and not deal with them because I simply didn't have time or energy to deal with them.

My room mate was asked to leave the program and I saw another group of people kicked out as well. I felt that I would be next and had to put all my energy into making sure I wouldn't be homeless, again. I couldn't sleep and my anxiety and paranoia skyrocketed.

After speaking to the woman I manifested, completely honestly about my last few months, something I hadn't been able to do, I had a mental breakdown where I couldn't tell the difference between reality and what was in my head.

Even after all the success I had I decided to make several decisions that would have terminated my stay at the program and taken me from my little sister and older brother, forever.

When I came back to the program the next day, expecting to be told to move out and kicked to the curb, the staff showed me a genuine understanding and love that I've never experienced before, not even from my own parents.

I've been looking for the perfect words to wrap up my E2 review for quite a while and I believe I've found them:

Everything that I thought was impossible before I started E2 became possible and stayed.
(09-03-2016, 11:41 AM)Bookstacks DC737 Wrote: [ -> ]I titled this The Real E2 Review because I posted a review on E2 just three days into its use. If only I had known the amount of crap and glory past Bookstacks would be dragged through back then Tongue

My time with E2 was massively life changing.

I started E2 on April 22nd and ran it until about August 22nd when I decided to discontinue E2 in favor of DMSI.

What E2 did for me:

For the last few years of my life I've lived with constant anxiety, panic attacks and depression due to a terrible living situation and feeling unable to leave it due to my mental health and financial concerns.

Because of my poor mental state I became extremely socially isolated, staying in my room for days at a time, reading books on self-development with an obsessive interest, trying everything from hypnosis to psychedelic drugs to "cure" myself of my disorder.

Before starting E2 I dwelled daily on how best to kill myself because I felt the pain was too great. I was too blinded by pain and past failure to see at all what my options were in my life.

About 2 weeks into E2 my mother filed a restraining order against my father.

My panic attacks lessened and I began planning on finally leaving my terrible home situation, as I finally had a sense of clarity about what was going on.

My mother withdrew her restraining order case, lying to me about it and allowed my father back into the home, so I took a restraining order case out against my father.

My mother and older sister ended up siding with my father. I was removed from the home, lost my car and most of my money had been borrowed to my mom to help her.

I ended up sleeping on a friends floor until my parents realized where I was and began coming over daily to harass me.

I eventually ended up homeless, and lost my case against my father.

I was in a deep emotional hole as I quit my antidepressants cold turkey out of anger and was barely able to function.

There was a stretch of a few days where absolutely everything seemed unbearable. I had to choose between where I was staying and my mental health, because to do one would be to do without the other.

And then, slowly but surely, things began to turn around radically.

Out of guilt or shame my dad decided to give me his car and continue paying for it.

I gained admission into a Transitional Living Program aimed at helping homeless youth. I was set up with my own apartment and two room mates, and can live here for up to 24 months, rent free.

I got a job. I applied for financial aid and described my circumstances and was able to receive full aid. I applied for food stamps so I could get groceries.

I made several new and interesting friends and put myself into many different situations that allowed me to expand and become better.

I manifested a woman who I was able to share many of my challenges with and feel support from, a woman who I only had to be myself for to keep attracted. The more I continued on my path, the more attracted she became. This allowed me to tackle a ton of beliefs about myself and sexuality.

Just this last Monday I attended class and for the first time I didn't have a panic attack during the lesson.

I've dropped out 3 times and deferred my first semester of college due to my poor mental health.

It's simply a pleasure to be able to sit in a classroom and listen to an instructor and not worry about being anxious.

And I'm not fully healed. I have a long way to go towards that, but I've changed everything in my life so drastically in just 4 months.

So many things are still hard for me.

I felt I had to repress a lot of things and not deal with them because I simply didn't have time or energy to deal with them.

My room mate was asked to leave the program and I saw another group of people kicked out as well. I felt that I would be next and had to put all my energy into making sure I wouldn't be homeless, again. I couldn't sleep and my anxiety and paranoia skyrocketed.

After speaking to the woman I manifested, completely honestly about my last few months, something I hadn't been able to do, I had a mental breakdown where I couldn't tell the difference between reality and what was in my head.

Even after all the success I had I decided to make several decisions that would have terminated my stay at the program and taken me from my little sister and older brother, forever.

When I came back to the program the next day, expecting to be told to move out and kicked to the curb, the staff showed me a genuine understanding and love that I've never experienced before, not even from my own parents.

I've been looking for the perfect words to wrap up my E2 review for quite a while and I believe I've found them:

Everything that I thought was impossible before I started E2 became possible and stayed.
Sounds like a Wonderful Testimony. A Gradual progress; Be Proud of yourself; It's Challenging to make changes. Glad you are working your way into a better life Big Grin
What a jolt to my reality. You have my respect. To pay tribute to you and your journey, I will today express to my family my love for them. To my children I will express my love for their mother, my wife. I will tell them about you and your struggles. They will know that my expression of love to them is as a gift from you and is in honor of your accomplishments.

I will continue to tell them of your progress and triumphs. You will be in their thoughts. As you accomplish, they will accomplish.

I wish I could do more

Thanks for this gift.

AwesomeYoungDude
It's not an easy path, but it is a path to change for the better. Much respect.

There is a secret that my advisor taught me, a long time ago, when I was still suicidally depressed, and it really helped me get past that depression and avoid doing something stupid to myself. That secret is:

Quote:If you feel hopeless, then you're looking at it from the wrong scale.

In other words, when we focus too much in the "now", and things are not going well, we lose sight of the fact that everything happens in cycles and that change is the only constant.

No matter how bad things are, not only will they change, but we have a new opportunity to change them for the better every single second of every single day!

And when you consider that life is measured in decades, not days or months or hours, and you realize that change really is the only constant... well, it really starts to put things in perspective.

Back when I was suicidally depressed, from ages 16 through 23, I didn't understand that. Once I understood that, even the worst of my depressive episodes could not get me to try to hurt myself. I realized that not only would I be hurting my mother and family and friends, but that I would be wasting all of my potential for doing good in the world and making the world a better place.

In many cases, those people who make the biggest contributions and biggest changes to the world are people who had to experience their own private hell in order to understand and be motivated to produce those changes. Now look at me, I'm building programs like E2 (and later, E3) which help people help themselves with depression and give them another way to grow past their pain and hurt. I couldn't have done that if I had not spent those years suffering that hell.

So now you are dealing with something similar. Now you are understanding this pain and suffering, and when you have finished coming to understand it, you can become someone who turns around and makes a positive difference for others who are going through it. You can help save someone else from having to suffer the way you did, and that makes your suffering worth having been through.

Remember this. You can achieve anything you choose to achieve. The question is, are you willing to try?

E2. Keep going. Smile
(09-03-2016, 11:41 AM)Bookstacks DC737 Wrote: [ -> ]I titled this The Real E2 Review because I posted a review on E2 just three days into its use. If only I had known the amount of crap and glory past Bookstacks would be dragged through back then Tongue

My time with E2 was massively life changing.

I started E2 on April 22nd and ran it until about August 22nd when I decided to discontinue E2 in favor of DMSI.

What E2 did for me:

For the last few years of my life I've lived with constant anxiety, panic attacks and depression due to a terrible living situation and feeling unable to leave it due to my mental health and financial concerns.

Because of my poor mental state I became extremely socially isolated, staying in my room for days at a time, reading books on self-development with an obsessive interest, trying everything from hypnosis to psychedelic drugs to "cure" myself of my disorder.

Before starting E2 I dwelled daily on how best to kill myself because I felt the pain was too great. I was too blinded by pain and past failure to see at all what my options were in my life.

About 2 weeks into E2 my mother filed a restraining order against my father.

My panic attacks lessened and I began planning on finally leaving my terrible home situation, as I finally had a sense of clarity about what was going on.

My mother withdrew her restraining order case, lying to me about it and allowed my father back into the home, so I took a restraining order case out against my father.

My mother and older sister ended up siding with my father. I was removed from the home, lost my car and most of my money had been borrowed to my mom to help her.

I ended up sleeping on a friends floor until my parents realized where I was and began coming over daily to harass me.

I eventually ended up homeless, and lost my case against my father.

I was in a deep emotional hole as I quit my antidepressants cold turkey out of anger and was barely able to function.

There was a stretch of a few days where absolutely everything seemed unbearable. I had to choose between where I was staying and my mental health, because to do one would be to do without the other.

And then, slowly but surely, things began to turn around radically.

Out of guilt or shame my dad decided to give me his car and continue paying for it.

I gained admission into a Transitional Living Program aimed at helping homeless youth. I was set up with my own apartment and two room mates, and can live here for up to 24 months, rent free.

I got a job. I applied for financial aid and described my circumstances and was able to receive full aid. I applied for food stamps so I could get groceries.

I made several new and interesting friends and put myself into many different situations that allowed me to expand and become better.

I manifested a woman who I was able to share many of my challenges with and feel support from, a woman who I only had to be myself for to keep attracted. The more I continued on my path, the more attracted she became. This allowed me to tackle a ton of beliefs about myself and sexuality.

Just this last Monday I attended class and for the first time I didn't have a panic attack during the lesson.

I've dropped out 3 times and deferred my first semester of college due to my poor mental health.

It's simply a pleasure to be able to sit in a classroom and listen to an instructor and not worry about being anxious.

And I'm not fully healed. I have a long way to go towards that, but I've changed everything in my life so drastically in just 4 months.

So many things are still hard for me.

I felt I had to repress a lot of things and not deal with them because I simply didn't have time or energy to deal with them.

My room mate was asked to leave the program and I saw another group of people kicked out as well. I felt that I would be next and had to put all my energy into making sure I wouldn't be homeless, again. I couldn't sleep and my anxiety and paranoia skyrocketed.

After speaking to the woman I manifested, completely honestly about my last few months, something I hadn't been able to do, I had a mental breakdown where I couldn't tell the difference between reality and what was in my head.

Even after all the success I had I decided to make several decisions that would have terminated my stay at the program and taken me from my little sister and older brother, forever.

When I came back to the program the next day, expecting to be told to move out and kicked to the curb, the staff showed me a genuine understanding and love that I've never experienced before, not even from my own parents.

I've been looking for the perfect words to wrap up my E2 review for quite a while and I believe I've found them:

Everything that I thought was impossible before I started E2 became possible and stayed.


In many ways I can relate to you and your experiences. You empowered yourself by listening to E2 and the positive progress you've made in your life is inspiring to read. I hope that I will see positive changes in my life in time, after listening to E2 as well.
You are such a strong person. I have my own story and I know the strength it takes to get through stuff like this, not everyone can access it, be proud of yourself.