I am now at the 3 week mark of Stage 2. Not much to report, other than I am getting things to take action. Which before I felt there was need to change thing but didn't know how to go about it. However, it seems like every week there is something I can take action on that gets me closer to my goals. Plus, I feel like something is going to happen in regards to my goals, it is a deep feeling I have had for about 2 weeks now.
Last night I woke up at least four times, every time I went back to sleep I had some weird dream. From the bits and pieces that I can remember, the dreams I had all pointed to me not knowing what direction to take in my current life. Which is true, I want to make some drastic changes but for now my hands are tied as to being able to make any physical changes. I am taking small steps towards making changes, but as far as taking big steps, I am not there yet. Plus, today I just felt emotionally sluggish where I just had no energy to do or want to do anything.
Well I have seven days left of Stage 2. So far, I have to say that things I need to get to where I want to be, have been presenting themselves. What I mean is that, if I need help in a certain area, then a few days later I get some sort of action to take. Either by hearing someone talk about that subject, or I get directed to a certain product. So, it seems that I am getting quite a few synchronicities happening towards the end of Stage 2, which didn't happen the first time around.
I am starting stage 3 today. I have to say not much is happening on the surface but I feel a lot of things happening internally. I feel the faith in myself and abilities are getting stronger which the first time around I doubted a lot. Plus, I am starting to learn how to control my emotions unlike the first time around I would go all postal on people when there was some kind of disagreement on views etc.
In someways, it sort of feels like I am on the verge of figuring out what to do and where to go with my life. The one major change in my life I need to make is my employment. That right now is one of my top priorities to deal with and I feel like once I get that handled, everything else will fall into place. So, now I will see what stage 3 brings this time around.
Well I am three days into stage 3. Today I had my evaluation (progress report basically) and I was surprised how it went. Usually when I have these things, I am nervous, palms sweaty etc. This time I was completely calm, my emotions were in check and I was able to speak my mind about problems I have been having with management lately. I did it in a respectful manner but made my position very clear how I felt about things. Plus, the boss agreed with me on a few things, and actually allowed me to voice my concerns about how things are going, even though it was on the negative side. The reason I say that is because management doesn't like people giving negative feedback, if it isn't positive feedback they don't want to hear it.
So, what I can tell this time around with stage 3 is, that I am now keeping my composer where before I would lose it at times. Also, I am making more direct eye contact with people to where they look away first.