04-25-2015, 07:28 AM
Another volume of my journey. No. I didn't finish my first AM run (with AM5, stopped at stage 5) and my second AM run (with AM6, stopped at stage 6).
I completely done with SM 3.0 stage 1 and I can tell exactly what stage 1 has done to me. When doing SM 3.0 I am pumping my head with at least 18 hours/day. My tiredness is on a whole new level and I easily attract the attention of people (with how straightforward I am).
As time goes on, I got a call. Deep within me I want achievement, no, I beg for it. Doing SM 3.0 won't help me in achieving what I want. That moment woke me up. From the lust driven men, into goal-oriented towards achievement and actualization.
"Not this" I cried. SO I stopped everything in my life. Compiling what I've learned (opening my old notes and diaries). I am aware now. Maturity might be a fit term for me. I write, and coincidentally an editor took an interest in my work (which I made years ago). Thanks to my friend
Looking back, I am desperate in proving my worth with trivial matters (women and social influence).
I do another AM6 run now, stage 1 and how different my experience is. No end-goal, but only self-improvement. How far can I expand my potential?
My style of writing (in my native language) has changed into more philosophical with sex's jokes; although, still expressing my high degree of choleric temperament and provocative phrases.
Sometimes I shared my POV regarding the needs of self-improvement and, yes, my friends neglect it. Quite sad. I'm getting this anxiety that when we do reunion I'll be the one living the life and I do hope one of them mention "how fortunate you are!" so I can respond accordingly
An obvious things that happened is women are attracted to me and getting physical with me. Nice.
Sometimes I almost turn into asexual, because of how unneedey I am. I don't plan on doing SM 3.0, might be WM or 1 week rest then AM again. In the first stage of SM I become an approach machine, but that's not how I play. Rather than fishing one by one, why not all? Through the net (AKA social circles).
The more the merrier. Man!! MY ENTP blood is rising. Few days ago I researched and assessed my whole personality. Some are: ENTP, Choleric Sanguine blend, Enneagram Type 7 The Thrillist (sexual variant, social variant). I need social life, and not in this huge scale that I already built but in the grand-er scale
I completely done with SM 3.0 stage 1 and I can tell exactly what stage 1 has done to me. When doing SM 3.0 I am pumping my head with at least 18 hours/day. My tiredness is on a whole new level and I easily attract the attention of people (with how straightforward I am).
As time goes on, I got a call. Deep within me I want achievement, no, I beg for it. Doing SM 3.0 won't help me in achieving what I want. That moment woke me up. From the lust driven men, into goal-oriented towards achievement and actualization.
"Not this" I cried. SO I stopped everything in my life. Compiling what I've learned (opening my old notes and diaries). I am aware now. Maturity might be a fit term for me. I write, and coincidentally an editor took an interest in my work (which I made years ago). Thanks to my friend
Looking back, I am desperate in proving my worth with trivial matters (women and social influence).
I do another AM6 run now, stage 1 and how different my experience is. No end-goal, but only self-improvement. How far can I expand my potential?
My style of writing (in my native language) has changed into more philosophical with sex's jokes; although, still expressing my high degree of choleric temperament and provocative phrases.
Sometimes I shared my POV regarding the needs of self-improvement and, yes, my friends neglect it. Quite sad. I'm getting this anxiety that when we do reunion I'll be the one living the life and I do hope one of them mention "how fortunate you are!" so I can respond accordingly
An obvious things that happened is women are attracted to me and getting physical with me. Nice.
Sometimes I almost turn into asexual, because of how unneedey I am. I don't plan on doing SM 3.0, might be WM or 1 week rest then AM again. In the first stage of SM I become an approach machine, but that's not how I play. Rather than fishing one by one, why not all? Through the net (AKA social circles).
The more the merrier. Man!! MY ENTP blood is rising. Few days ago I researched and assessed my whole personality. Some are: ENTP, Choleric Sanguine blend, Enneagram Type 7 The Thrillist (sexual variant, social variant). I need social life, and not in this huge scale that I already built but in the grand-er scale