To cut a long story short - many years back when I was a heavy drug user (crack cocaine) I use to experience severe panic attacks. When I stopped using drugs altogether the panic attacks faded off and it seemed as though I had got over them - until now. I finished AM6 at the start of December, had a 1 week break, and then moved onto healthy knees and anger management. Now I am starting to experience severe panic attacks again, I'm not sure if I've hit a "sweet spot" in my subconscious that I need to push through, or if I need to stop using subs for a while, or lastly if I should carry on with subs but get treatment on the side too (hypnotherapy) . Last night I had a panic attack just before I managed to drift off to sleep which completely woke me up and kept me up more or less all night (in a broken on/off sleep). When I get them I get a numbness in my left arm and a tight chest & back, there is an association between this being a problem with my heart which seems to fuel the panic attack (there is nothing wrong it though - I've been checked out and am in GREAT health, it is something I have completely made up).
I'm really not sure what to do, Shannon you're input would be much appreciated on this....
Thanks....
The thing is, on a conscious level I totally understand panic attacks are harmless and total BS. I just need to get it subconsciously....
How much time did you use anger management ? I can't believe healthy knees would do that so.
Have you think about running EPHRA?
I'm thinking it's anger management related. I listen to HK for 8 hours whilst I'm a sleep and AM for 4 hours (whilst awake). I'd run EPHRA but for what it's worth I'd rather just re run AM6 (which I'm planning to).
I've had two days off subs now to gather my thoughts. I'm thinking of just pushing through.
Anger is a cocktail of fear and aggression. In order to deal with anger you have to deal with fear. A negative emotion can be released only if it rises from the depths of the subconscious to the surface. This is when you "feel it" before it is released.
Check out the OGSF/OF journals. A lot of users went through hell.
If it is too intense for you then go for EPRHA. It has a soft approach towards fear.
This reminds me of a famous quote
:
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
- Yoda
I've always been a high-strung kind of person and could feel my heart beat fast when adrenaline would kick in in certain situations. I tried to get into the (US) army when I was 18 but during the physical, my heart was beating at 100bpm, because I was nervous, and the doctors told me I had something wrong with my heart (which now I know is BS). I smoked weed a few days later, and had my first panic attack when I was under the influence. I wanted my friends to take me to the hospital and I started praying. After that, the panic attacks would come a few times per week without any weed. I thought I was having heart attacks and had the shortness of breath, arm tingling, and chest pain. This happened for a few years and caused me much psychological torture and paranoia. I even went to the ER one time...for obvious reasons. I had EKGs, MRIs, X-rays, and an ultrasound on my heart, all were fine...but it was still hard for me to believe the doctors. I saw two different psychologists over the years, which were of no help whatsoever.
One day during an attack, I just said to myself "Fuck it, I know this is just a panic attack and is all in my head(even though it felt so damn real). And if for some reason this is truly a heart attack and I die, oh well, I'd rather die than live my life constantly in fear the next panic attack." I just grabbed my guitar, even though I was shaking and panicking, and just started to play it to distract my mind. Fast forward to now, and I haven't had a panic in 3 years. Maybe I just grew out of it, or maybe I cured myself. I guess what you should try to do is just embrace them when they come and maybe you'll get over them.
I'll note that I rarely smoke weed now a days, because I'm afraid it might trigger another attack. I only do it if I've had a few drinks and am loosened up, and when I have done it, I still get the feeling of shortness of breath, but it's not an attack. And I've never bought weed in my life, I only take a hit if someone offers and I'm feeling courageous, so maybe you should stay off of any kind of drug too? I don't know each and every drug affects you of course, so that's obviously your choice.
There's more to my story, but it's too long as it is already, so I left a lot of stuff out. But I have wondered if increasing confidence or getting the full affects of AM6 (which I am currently on my second run-through of) can help chill me out so my heart doesn't beat so fast and hard. For example, when I'm about to be handed an exam back in school, I can feel my heart racing, that can't be good, and am hoping I can change my unconscious response to "high stressful" situations. I don't know if the subs can help with things like that, or if I'm just growing out of it, because it has gotten better lately.
Thanks for your input guys
. I've decided that I'm going to push through with a "f*ck-it" attitude. The last thing I want is to develop an association between listening to subs and panic attacks (which I think I'm doing). I need to push though this and over come it, I know I'll be thanking myself later.