Subliminal Talk

Late, but might as well bring my thoughts onto the screen.
I pirated AM a while back when I felt myself losing control of my life. Obsessions of Pot, Porn, and self deprecation.
Id pity myself for just laying in bed all day, wishing I just didnt have the option to be such a lazy fuck. I didnt know where to start: All I did was read self help, cannabis studies, and brain chemistry. Ive come to the conclusion that most of this shit is worthless paradoxes that end up at dead ends. I feel like I know a lot of things that could make someone a super human if given the chance, but at the same time, I feel the exact opposite, doing everything "perfectly" from study to study. I think the term of my state is called Monk Dick. Anyways. Enough useless chatter.

Stage 1 I felt kind of good. I think it was mainly placebo, mixed with the programming. no resistance.

Stage 2 was similar, but still nothing noticable

Stage 3 I started having realizations of this wasting of time, so i spent more time looking into how to chemically make myself stronger. I was scared because i thought that i was a shizoid, and thats what made me socially awkward. Ive had girlfriends, but it was mainly because of my appearance. I was Beta boy, and they were infatuated like crazy, but after so many months, they all turned to shit. One making me feel like committing suicide, and the next, i took for complete advantage, as i didnt really like the girl, i honestly just wanted someone to love. Fucking pitiful. Even now as I look back at messages sent to these women, i feel embarrassed as hell. Prince charming my ass.

Stage 4, i kept having reoccuring issues where i felt like i was doing everything wrong. I hated myself for knowing from the beginning that i stole from Shannon something that he had spent such a long time working on. I Absolutely wanted to pay him from the very beginning, but i had no drive (which is slowly building now), and knew that Id have to beg my parents for money since i dont even have a job. Eventually, however, i cracked, and borrowed money for the program to work completely. I know now that all i can do is place all my trust in this program and that things will work out perfectly, and i can jumpstart my life, since i was born from a place of stability, money, antisociability, videogaming, and overall, wasting my life, which i didnt give a fuck about till now.

Stage 5 now. I now own this program officially, and feel more obligated to get around 14-16 hours exposure a day. Using it during the day however, i feel even more antisocial. The words just dont flow into my head, and I think thats just a sign that my mind is working hard to process all this information going in. I feel a slight depression as well, and it makes me feel even more beta. I feel left out, and alone.

I thought id feel depressed much earlier on. Im wondering if the pirated version i stole wasnt stolen correctly. Hopefully i didnt waste all those months. Irreguardless all i can do is move forward with what i have.

I dumped my last girlfriend last month due to a feeling of being un-appreciated, and knowledge of my beta behavior not being completely gone, i knew itd mess with the chance of a LTR. It hurts to know that we will never be together again, but at the same time, i know that ill be polygamus at the end of this program. It only seems fair to myself.

Workingout, self-help, Inner game, Reddit-red pill, Subliminals, occasional research binges, and trying to become a better conversationalist are my current go to's. Hopefully this makes me more of an extrovert in the end. Thats kind of all i wanted in the beginning other than being 100% in control of my actions.

Anyways. Thats an end to my journal for now. I dont really expect any
responses since AM5 isnt the main hype atm, and i wrote a shit load, but im still gonna keep to it.

Ciao fuckers

Welcome, it's not he main hype but it's still pretty powerful. You can relax about the pirate stuff, it won't hinder your success

Good luck with it, it will get a lot better over time. Idea, success, motivation will appear naturally after long exposure.

newfag humor I see

Wow, another AM journal...
It's nice to look people transforming into their new personality...

I thought you weren't supposed to listen to am 5.0 for more than 12 hours a day?

Im still finding it weird that im finding so much resistance mainly from stage 5, rather than experiencing it in earlier stages that were pirated. Is this normal?
Hopefully Shannon will get to here when he isnt busy; see what he can analyze.

the depression is weird; not a heavy feeling all over my body, that im so used to, with tears, but my heart hurts and I feel lethargic instead. ehh

You can experience some resistance in every stage, not only in the early ones.

feeling more reactive than proactive now, as well as brain fog -.-"

From what I've read there is protection in the subliminal which stops it working if it is pirated. Thats maybe why you are not experiencing the fullness of each stage.

Good luck on your journey and I hope to read more of your journal

When I ran this program several months ago I had the same experiences as you. I never really felt much of anything in Stages 1 & 2, and then as I ventured further into stages 3, 4, and 5, I felt more and more angry, hostile, upset, depressed, everything else negative--you name it. I decided to stop halfway through stage 5.

Turns out I had a ton of emotional blockage left from various old wounds that I had never really faced and healed. After running almost 90 days of the free Emotional Pain Healing Aid and Relief sub, I've just started re-running Stage 1 of this program and I can tell you that it's like I've been running a completely different program. I feel GREAT so far. Been noticing girls checking me out a lot more, feel totally carefree and relaxed around people and their opinions/thoughts about me. I have this total reaffirming unshakeable belief in myself that I've already got after running this program for only 2 days.

If you're having problems with this program, your brain might be resisting too much and you may not even realize it. I'd suggest running the EPRHA program for 2-3 months, maybe even more than that if you feel you need it, and then try running this program again. I know that 2-3 months sounds like a lot to run a sub that you probably don't feel you really need, but I felt the same way at the beginning of this period, and having just finished running it for almost 3 months, I can definitely say that it's helped me receive much better results from AM 5.0 so far... by a mile.

missed last night. Phone died (wtf)

still feeling asocial. Gonna cycle inositol later on this week to try and fix that. used to obsessively listen to music, dab, and smoke cigarettes, so my d2 receptors are probably whats been fucked up. No drugs, and no fap now

just told my ex I dont want anything to do with her, and feeling jealous of her successes (wtf is going on? ._.)

im contemplating quitting and running the free confidence sub, or the socializing is just a game, and charisma sub. maybe the emotional pain relief so theres less resistance.

scratch that. it hurts cause its working. just need to keep reminding myself thats how it works

can i just jump back to stage 3? i feel unbalanced now. not necissarily depressed now, but not ready in a sense. maybe i needed more exposure from that section and 4.

Use it as it is prescribe in the instruction, not in any other way. 32 days per stage and then the next.
If you didn't get enough exposure to one stage add a day or 2 if needed. If you already started the next stage don't come back.

Follow the instructions strictly, all the info you need is there. You can't just hop off AM because you're going through a ruff patch. Stick it out - ditch that idea altogether.