Hey guys
I decided to journal my progress whilst listening to Alpha Male 2010.
I noticed a lot of people jumping to the Alpha Male program in the last two weeks. I started mid September (15th), probably same time around as Blueness and Ryan.
I will mostly be writing about new feelings that may have arisen, and my ponderings which will be swerling around in my head. I am still in experimental mode yet, as I test the effectiveness of subliminals.
18 days into Stage 1. Physically I have been having a light lethargy on most days. I have been sleeping the same amount of hours I would do normally, but have this kind of cloud over my brain.
Unexpected violent thoughts have been popping up in my head, as well a couple of times. A random though appeared whilst I was riding the bus to work last week. It was about how I would totally beat up anyone who ever tried to hijack the bus.
A bit of a strange thought, but we'll see where it goes.
That sounds like a good thought rather than a strange thought.. lol
just make sure he doesnt have a gun. if he has a knife be cautious.
Quote: 18 days into Stage 1. Physically I have been having a light lethargy on most days. I have been sleeping the same amount of hours I would do normally, but have this kind of cloud over my brain.
Hallmark of stage 1 for me: the "foggy" feeling as I like to call it. And yes, I felt lethargic during the entirety of stage 1. The reason why is that the subconscious is being bombarded heavily by the scripts.
I've noticed that during stage 2 that the "foggy" feeling is subsiding somewhat and I'm not as lethargic as I once was.
The wacky dreams continue on though!
@ Spiralout. The safety of the bus was the last of my concern. I just wanted to punch the would-be-hijacker's light out. Luckily this was a one off violent phase.
@ Ronatello. Yeah, foggy feeling is what would best describe it. How is your alpha male journey? It is always a pleasure reading your journeys to alpha-ness. I used to read your posts on Cory's forum, when I just got into affirmations.
Last two weeks I have been in a mood with a girl that sit opposite me at work. She is the PA to my financial manager at work. The best way of describing her would be a ditzy, cute, girly girl. I find some of the stuff she says cute and adorable. Even my two supervisors feel the same way.
Recently I have noticed, she is playing up to the stereotype girly girl image (like she has to keep up with the image), which I find really pointless and stupid. I heard conversations on the phone with her boyfriend of 10 years and she doesn't sound like someone whos image she is portraying. The voice tone is completely different.
The beginning of this week, I have found her more tolerable and even paid her a genuine compliment, but the two weeks before it was a whole different story. If she had disappeared of the planet, I wouldn't have battered an eyelid.
I was getting concerned that Alpha Male would be hardening my heart against cute girls. I don't think that was the case though. Just looking out for fakeness I guess. At the beginning of the week, I got a cute look from a girl on the bus. She keeps looking at me as I get on, so I sat next to her. Sadly I couldn't muster up a conversation.
Yea dude the truth is if you know to be indifferent towards women they love you. I only check out women when I know it's impossible for me to get caught lol. Now they are the ones checking me out. That's the difference with alpha male.. I'm letting the sub do the work and I'm just not expecting anything really. Women Magnet made me needy in a way. I always felt like it was going away but I was conciously trying to let go of it myself and that was always a challenge. It helped some but I was still feeling needy at my core.
If you're needy to begin with Woman Magnet won't kill that, as the alpha set will. In some cases, WM will deal with it, but for most, it's going to be a much better decision to use alpha to kill it first. Woman magnet didn't make you needy, it made you try to get to Point C from Point A without knowing what Point B was. That's why it's designed to be used after the alpha set (Point B).
@ Masterchief: one thing that the Alpha Male program does is it makes you much more aware if people are "frontin' " as in being fake. It is cute for a while but it gets old pretty quick. And the more alpha traits one develops, the more some people will qualify the heck out of themselves just so you can like them. lol
I'm a pretty tough customer and people that come to me acting fake and putting on a front turns me off bigtime. I don't have time for that BS and I deserve MUCH better!
I am 5 days from starting stage 2 of the alpha set. So far I have noticed the following changes:
My finance director at work is touching me more (she is female), since I started Stage one. I thought nothing of it, but there is cute Lebanese woman who also works in our office on a part time basis. She has starting touching my shoulder as well. Things like borrowing paper clips from my desk when she sits on a different cluster of desks. Asking to use my stapler, when there is one nearer to her.
I have noticed attraction signals before, but there is more touching going on since the subs started. I thought stage 1 had nothing to do with the attraction side of the things.
Another example, today I walked home from work, instead of catching the bus. I was in my own world, as I saw a girl walking toward me, looking strange and playing with her scarf. I was thinking this girl was a little strange, then it hit me she was attracted, as she went past. She had a half smile, nervous look. It's funny how you notice these things, when you get out of your head. Unforunately my mind was a 100 miles away.
Physiologically I feel as if I am walking with a straighter back. The foggy feeling is more on/off. Some days I am more tired than others.
Mentally, I still have bursts of anger that I keep under control. There are slight feelings of depression at times, which I hardly had for a while but have started mid-way stage 1. They seem to be going now, but they were a conern as I hardly get depressed.
At work I have doubts creeping in my mind as well. Sometimes I wonder whether my office collegues are pissed of at me or not. I crack some jokes, and know everything is OK, but feelings of doubt come in. Especially if I am competent at my job or not.
I did try the Procrastination sub, before the alpha. I am expreiencing less strange dreams with the alpha. I have only had one dream, where a fly kept circling my head and wouldn't leave. With the procrastination one, I had many strange dreams like fighting with my dad, zombies attacking a village and schoolchildren and all sorts of other weirdness.
Quote: I have noticed attraction signals before, but there is more touching going on since the subs started. I thought stage 1 had nothing to do with the attraction side of the things.
Probably because since your confidence is getting worked on, you're projecting less nervousness, are more laid back, and therefore present much less of a "threat" (for lack of a better way of putting it, lol) so therefore, more touching. Naturally when negativity gets cleaned out, one's confidence will begin to rise somewhat.
We're just getting started here... much bigger fish to fry are coming quick!
Quote:I am 5 days from starting stage 2 of the alpha set. So far I have noticed the following changes:
My finance director at work is touching me more (she is female), since I started Stage one. I thought nothing of it, but there is cute Lebanese woman who also works in our office on a part time basis. She has starting touching my shoulder as well. Things like borrowing paper clips from my desk when she sits on a different cluster of desks. Asking to use my stapler, when there is one nearer to her.
I have noticed attraction signals before, but there is more touching going on since the subs started. I thought stage 1 had nothing to do with the attraction side of the things.
Stage 1 deals with clearing and foundation building, but it also kicks off basic alpha training. If you are properly receptive, you'll sometimes be able to tip the scale to obvious for women who were already somewhat interested.
Quote:Another example, today I walked home from work, instead of catching the bus. I was in my own world, as I saw a girl walking toward me, looking strange and playing with her scarf. I was thinking this girl was a little strange, then it hit me she was attracted, as she went past. She had a half smile, nervous look. It's funny how you notice these things, when you get out of your head. Unforunately my mind was a 100 miles away.
Attraction is a natural side effect of the body language and attitude of the alpha training. You are giving good examples of how that is experienced, and nicely quick too.
Quote:Physiologically I feel as if I am walking with a straighter back. The foggy feeling is more on/off. Some days I am more tired than others.
Mentally, I still have bursts of anger that I keep under control. There are slight feelings of depression at times, which I hardly had for a while but have started mid-way stage 1. They seem to be going now, but they were a conern as I hardly get depressed.
Depression can be the result of repressed anger. If there's something you are angry with, but for whatever reason you don't feel you can allow yourself to express it, or you don't know how, it can become depression. Not saying that's what's happening with you, but it's food for thought.
Quote:At work I have doubts creeping in my mind as well. Sometimes I wonder whether my office collegues are weeweed of at me or not. I crack some jokes, and know everything is OK, but feelings of doubt come in. Especially if I am competent at my job or not.
Doubts are the fear response as you are being pushed forward into the leadership position. They will pass as you integrate the sub's effects and learn how to deal with them.
Quote:I did try the Procrastination sub, before the alpha. I am expreiencing less strange dreams with the alpha. I have only had one dream, where a fly kept circling my head and wouldn't leave. With the procrastination one, I had many strange dreams like fighting with my dad, zombies attacking a village and schoolchildren and all sorts of other weirdness.
Strange dreams... meh... I got nothing.
Many thanks for the feedback Shannon.
Ok, Stage 1 is finished now, so Stage 2 commenses tonight, on 18th Oct.
I was ok, mostly throughout this stage. Random bouts of violent thoughts, and slight moments of depression. They have passed now, but during the last 3 days of stage one, I have been feeling a sense of hopelessness.
I have more determination when I want to do something and see it through (sometimes). For example I was shopping around for a dslr camera over the weekend. I spoke to a lady about which camera would be suitable for my needs. She just didn't seem congruent with the info she was giving. Not being satisfied, I looked around for another salesperson. I saw a guy who was quite relaxed and chatting to another customer, who did look like he knew what he was talking about. Thanks to him, I got excellent information which would help me choose the right camera.
I find myself thinking more about when I was 18. Especially the darker periods, when I got my first and second romantic rejection. I also failed my A-levels, which I thought would be the end of my life. It wasn't the happiest period of my life.
Not sure if any guys doing the alpha, are experiencing any reactions from animals. I wouldn't bring something "out there" like this, unless it really got my attention. I usually have my neighbours cat, that will just jump on my lap and go to sleep or snuggle up and ignore everyone else. Whilst I was walking home from the mall, a different neighbours cat started walking beside me and got in front of me and started rubbing its body against my leg. It wouldn't let me pass, I thought I'd stroke it and then I'd be on my way. As I made my way, it kept getting in my way, it wouldn't let me pass. I stroked it a little more whilst making my way. It went inside its house as I passed it.
Quite a weird experience, not sure if there are any cat owners who can make heads or tails of this situation. I started to think maybe this cat was rabid lol. I had more female attention whilst I was in the mall, especially what society would call a hot girl, so I must have had an alpha aura during the day, who knows.
Quote: I was ok, mostly throughout this stage. Random bouts of violent thoughts, and slight moments of depression. They have passed now, but during the last 3 days of stage one, I have been feeling a sense of hopelessness.
Bingo! I felt the same way. The last 3 days my mood took a nosedive but aside from that, people still conversed with me, and I was certainly not in the mood to do so (dis so anyway as to not be rude). Stage 1 for me wasn't that bad. I just felt drained and had a feeling of detachment on most days.
Quote:Not sure if any guys doing the alpha, are experiencing any reactions from animals. I wouldn't bring something "out there" like this, unless it really got my attention. I usually have my neighbours cat, that will just jump on my lap and go to sleep or snuggle up and ignore everyone else. Whilst I was walking home from the mall, a different neighbours cat started walking beside me and got in front of me and started rubbing its body against my leg. It wouldn't let me pass, I thought I'd stroke it and then I'd be on my way. As I made my way, it kept getting in my way, it wouldn't let me pass. I stroked it a little more whilst making my way. It went inside its house as I passed it.
My mom has a kitten that is very shy around strangers. However I was sitting on the front porch of her mother's house and the cat came up and started rubbing itself on me. So much for the cat being shy around strangers! lol.
She said, that's not normal, unless the cat knows you're ignoring it.
Uh-huh! Bingo!
It's rather funny how cats and women act very similar.
Of course when I say "ignore" doesn't mean totally ignore the woman. What I mean is, acknowledge that she's there and go on about your business.
(10-18-2010, 02:59 PM)Masterchief Wrote: [ -> ]Not sure if any guys doing the alpha, are experiencing any reactions from animals. I wouldn't bring something "out there" like this, unless it really got my attention. I usually have my neighbours cat, that will just jump on my lap and go to sleep or snuggle up and ignore everyone else. Whilst I was walking home from the mall, a different neighbours cat started walking beside me and got in front of me and started rubbing its body against my leg. It wouldn't let me pass, I thought I'd stroke it and then I'd be on my way. As I made my way, it kept getting in my way, it wouldn't let me pass. I stroked it a little more whilst making my way. It went inside its house as I passed it.
I noticed when I built my confidence, self-esteem, and everything else over the year, my male dog loves me now. He used to stay away from me, now he always runs to me.