Not bad for 20 days; I'm on Alpha Male Stage 3, and I'm having those exact same conflicts.
The truth is, once you work through that, women will want all the letters of your alphabet (including the 4th one).
Sex is such a weird fucking topic; it makes people all messed up and neurotic. Your resistance means that your previous beliefs are making a stand (yadda yadda you know what I'm going to say).
Best of luck!
More and more resistance coming up. Arrrrrrrgh.
I'm keeping a list of all the limiting/negative beliefs that are coming to surface lately, but I'm starting to question the usefulness of this practice, beside having an historical value for me (like, a way to track my progress and go, "Can you believe I used to think THIS?")
Maybe you guys who practice EFT can chime in on this, about beliefs actually being sourced out of negative emotions, without which they cannot exist for long.
If that were true, it would make more sense to not even pay attention to whatever belief comes up, by simply dismissing it and instead focusing/tapping/letting go of what's "behind"/"below" it?
Ugh, I don't even know what it is that I'm asking right now, I'm quite confused.
Back to the lab
I've discovered that in my subjectivity there's a curious connection between feeling "alpha" and "complete" (that is, non-needy) and feeling full of energy.
When I feel tired or drained, my emotional and mental state gets completely f*cked up: it's like feeling alpha and sexy and maintaining a strong aura requires a lot of energy, and whenever I find myself short on physical strenght and endurance, not only I feel totally unsexy and "not in the zone", but I go into despair about it, like I've been completely cut off from anything good in life.
The only thing left at that point would be to get some rest or go to sleep, as I can't do anything productive while I'm in that state.
This thought occured to me tonight, after taking a massive shot of vitamin B12 during an intense night out:
"If I can sustain the state, I can be (one of) the the most alpha guy(s) around"
It seems that at this point in my life it's not so hard to be the "alpha" - I think I already have a pretty good psychological foundation for that; the main issue is wanting to invest a large part of my available energy into building that state, and making it my permanent condition.
This in turn makes me wonder what happens when you're already the alpha, sexy guy, but you're pretty tired and don't really feel it.
Do other people, and women specifically, still see you in the same way?
Also, probably for the first time in my life, I've felt complete and non-needy without the presence of female/attention interest.
Paradoxically, feeling that way seems to attract female interest
This could send me on a tangent on how for most of my life I was seeking feminine approval, instead of genuine interest.
Meaning, I was hoping for women to validate and approve of me, instead of actually like me (and/or f*ck me).
This seems pretty clear to me right now, but it took a while to clear my mind about the topic.
For those of you into this, the second chakra is tied into these matters; a powerful affirmation would be
"I am enough".
Finally, let me repost a wonderful statement found on this very forum, maybe on Ryan's journal:
I have no feelings of desperation or neediness.
I have my life, I'm sexy, so I really don't care.