Hello guys!
Javier here. I created this new journal to have a new fresh start on things especially since I'm listening now to AM 5.0
I am already on the Stage 3 of AM 5.0 and in a few days time I will move to Stage 4. Ever since I first listened to Stage 1, it has been a hell of a ride. The ups and downs were at its limits.
First off I really notice there is a change in me. I am becoming really aggressive as of late. Last weekend there's this salesperson who is bugging me so I told him to fuck off. When he didn't went away I gave him two middle fingers and I'm ready to fight him. Good thing my dad was there to told me to calm down and the guy doesn't really want to fight. He also seems defenseless as I am a bit bigger than him. After a while asked for an apology and he seems to reluctantly accept it.
Next is that my girlfriend left me. I am devastated as such because I was a bit shocked on her decision. She told me that she just wants to be friends from now on. It's because she said that she cannot anymore repay all the good things that I have done. This is quite weird because I am never really like a nice guy towards her. Probably she's just letting me off easily. Of course I told her that I cannot be friends with somebody I have strong feelings with. I didn't anymore contacted her again since our last meeting. Hopefully my decision was for the best. As of right now, I don't want to think of it anymore and I am moving on. It's the best thing that I can do, I think. Even though it really hurts so much. She's my first girlfriend so yeah.
Now my biggest problem is overcoming porn addiction and masturbating. I can't go past 3-4 days without watching porn and masturbating. I am doing my best but still it's like I'm so addicted to it. My brain goes "just one more fap" or "just take a single peek of porn, surely it won't hurt". My porn addiction is bad in a way that I have been having problems "getting it up" without any porn so I really need to quit this. I have been looking at
http://yourbrainonporn.com/ and surely they are cases of erectile dysfunction due to watching too much porn.
For a little bit of good news, I have been trying to learn a new instrument. Guitar specifically. I already have the Learn Any Musical Instrument Faster & More Easily (3G – Type B). I want to use it however, I don't know if I can use it in conjunction with Alpha Male 5.0
I'm still on my job and it is pretty much okay. The work isn't really stressful so I can do business from the side.
I have full faith that Alpha Male 5.0 will help me reach my goals. Even though the journey has been rough lately.
Great day to all!
I'm currently on Alpha Male 5.0 Stage 5. Yes changes were indeed felt. However what seems to bother me is that I still can't let go of watching porn. I sometimes fap when watching them as well. It's like a need that I have to do. Or else sometimes it's hard to sleep or I feel a lot hornier. Are these withdrawal symptoms? I really want to quit watching porn. Is Alpha Male 5.0 helping or not?
(12-25-2013, 09:31 PM)Javier Gerardo Wrote: [ -> ]I'm currently on Alpha Male 5.0 Stage 5. Yes changes were indeed felt. However what seems to bother me is that I still can't let go of watching porn. I sometimes fap when watching them as well. It's like a need that I have to do. Or else sometimes it's hard to sleep or I feel a lot hornier. Are these withdrawal symptoms? I really want to quit watching porn. Is Alpha Male 5.0 helping or not?
It will definitely help you with your discipline.
I am currently reading a book on male sexuality (it is called
The Multi-Orgasmic Man by
Mantak Chia) and there is a lot about managing, storing and circulating you sexual energy (horniness). Maybe it will help you out. Are you having problems with masturbation as well or only porn?
(12-26-2013, 09:50 AM)MadTheReaper Wrote: [ -> ] (12-25-2013, 09:31 PM)Javier Gerardo Wrote: [ -> ]I'm currently on Alpha Male 5.0 Stage 5. Yes changes were indeed felt. However what seems to bother me is that I still can't let go of watching porn. I sometimes fap when watching them as well. It's like a need that I have to do. Or else sometimes it's hard to sleep or I feel a lot hornier. Are these withdrawal symptoms? I really want to quit watching porn. Is Alpha Male 5.0 helping or not?
It will definitely help you with your discipline.
I am currently reading a book on male sexuality (it is called The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia) and there is a lot about managing, storing and circulating you sexual energy (horniness). Maybe it will help you out. Are you having problems with masturbation as well or only porn?
Yes I also have problems with masturbation. I tried no fap for a month before but during that time I was still watching porn.
Shit is hard nowadays especially since I am single again.
Thanks for the advice and I will definitely check that book out. Will reading that book help me with my willpower and self-discipline issues>
This book's main purpose is to teach you techniques about having multiple orgasms. In the beggining the writer claims that you will be taught how to have power over your sexual feelings.I don't think willpower and self-discipline are brought up. To be honest, I haven't finished it yet. Maybe some googling will find you a more appropriate book. Or someone else might have something to recommend.
Good luck with everything.
Ok thanks a lot man. Good luck with you as well.
Update on Alpha Male 5.0 Stage 5:
- I'm still trying hard to fight against my addiction to masturbation and porn. I hope I can go on and stop watching porn once and for all.
- I have vivid dreams wherein I am fighting some of the a**holes I know in high school. I also have dreams wherein I seem to be aggressive.
- I already have been in multiple arguments against my family members.
- I am still always aggressive. A few months ago I almost initiated a fight.
- I'm still working out as hard as I can (for almost two years now) I've been making muscle gains but progress is still slow. But progress is still progress as I am now leaner and more muscular than my skinny self back then.
Happy New Year to all!
Alpha Male 5.0 does indeed helped me in becoming a more attractive man. There are girls that are attracted to me. The signs are there. It is probably only a matter of choice as to what goes next. Yes, I came from a breakup just around a couple of months ago. I still care for her on some level but yeah what's great is that I am slowly getting over it.
Me exercising and on the path to having a better body has helped as well. I have become more confident in myself, my body and the clothes that I wear. It is showing on my body language.
I am still fighting hard not to masturbate and watch porn. But there are just some nights that I simply cannot get past it. I do believe that if I really wanted to be on the path of the man I wanted to be, I need to stop watching porn.
Happy new year to you too, hope it's good. Just wondering why you want to stop watching porn and jerking off, r u overdoing it? Goodluck.
Thanks
Fonzy
(01-01-2014, 04:29 AM)Javier Gerardo Wrote: [ -> ]I am still fighting hard not to masturbate and watch porn. But there are just some nights that I simply cannot get past it. I do believe that if I really wanted to be on the path of the man I wanted to be, I need to stop watching porn.
What are you doing to stop? I hope its not just will power? I stopped about 40 days ago after doing it for 1/2 my life and i don't even think about it when I see ads on the internet.
I will post the affirmations i used and how i used them, maybe it will help
Happy New Year too
(12-29-2013, 09:09 PM)Javier Gerardo Wrote: [ -> ]- I have vivid dreams wherein I am fighting some of the a**holes I know in high school. I also have dreams wherein I seem to be aggressive.
They the best, I always used to dream I was running away, from police, animals, people etc now i just stand and fight, it a great feeling waking up in the morning knowing you just kicked some arse the whole night, where as before you would have woke up in cold sweats.
(01-01-2014, 04:51 AM)Fonzy3 Wrote: [ -> ]Happy new year to you too, hope it's good. Just wondering why you want to stop watching porn and jerking off, r u overdoing it? Goodluck.
Thanks
Fonzy
Thanks for the greet man.
Yeah I do believe I have been overdoing it. I have been watching porn ever since I was like 15 or so. I have watch video clips from
http://yourbrainonporn.com/ and it has awaken me.
First off, porn has desensitize me. I posted in my journal before that I have been having problems getting hard when I am having sex with my gf (now my ex-gf). Aside from that, I have developed weird fetishes that I am embarrassed to even discuss it here. There are more reasons I believe but these two alone are enough reasons for me to quit watching porn, masturbating and orgasm.
Anyway, is that your gf you and your gf on your avatar? She's cute man. You also look cute together.
Thanks man, yeah she is. In that case I say confront your issue and release negative emotions towards it with Faster EFT or another emotional healing method you like. I know some people masturbate during the day because they are constantly busy so it keeps them relaxed but i'm sure with the resources available you'll overcome it.
Thanks
Fonzy
(01-01-2014, 06:10 AM)Dee Wrote: [ -> ] (01-01-2014, 04:29 AM)Javier Gerardo Wrote: [ -> ]I am still fighting hard not to masturbate and watch porn. But there are just some nights that I simply cannot get past it. I do believe that if I really wanted to be on the path of the man I wanted to be, I need to stop watching porn.
What are you doing to stop? I hope its not just will power? I stopped about 40 days ago after doing it for 1/2 my life and i don't even think about it when I see ads on the internet. I will post the affirmations i used and how i used them, maybe it will help
Happy New Year too
I'm trying to do a reboot as stated in
http://yourbrainonporn.com/ and also willpower. What are the affirmations you are using? Thanks man.
(01-01-2014, 06:12 AM)Dee Wrote: [ -> ] (12-29-2013, 09:09 PM)Javier Gerardo Wrote: [ -> ]- I have vivid dreams wherein I am fighting some of the a**holes I know in high school. I also have dreams wherein I seem to be aggressive.
They the best, I always used to dream I was running away, from police, animals, people etc now i just stand and fight, it a great feeling waking up in the morning knowing you just kicked some arse the whole night, where as before you would have woke up in cold sweats.
Well I experienced another dream wherein I was fighting zombies and at the same time trying to rescue a coworker whom I like. It's great but the scene was so weird with different settings and so on.
(01-03-2014, 01:29 AM)Fonzy3 Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks man, yeah she is. In that case I say confront your issue and release negative emotions towards it with Faster EFT or another emotional healing method you like. I know some people masturbate during the day because they are constantly busy so it keeps them relaxed but i'm sure with the resources available you'll overcome it.
Thanks
Fonzy
Actually I haven't tried any EFT method or any other emotional healing methods. It is the one wherein you watch videos?