I'm through stage 1 and I feel terrible emotionally, just in the darkness and its starting to scare me a little. Basically, I feel like a low life scum bag that doesn't deserve sh*t and isn't worth a squirt of piss. I really, really hope this doesn't persist.
A little background about myself; I'm a 34 yr old engineer, never loved, never been loved (and not a virgin). I found my way here after reading The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, and realized that I wanted to bolster and embrace my masculinity and sexuality, as it was described in that text. I was raised in a Christian household, and went to private Catholic schools, which is not conducive of helping boys become men. As fate would have it, I believe in evolution, and I realize that my upbringing was full of bullsh*t. So, long story short, I've commandeered the ship and am now in control, so to speak.
Subs I have used thus far have been Extreme Self Esteem (had little impact), Alpha Male 5.0 (had tremendous impact), Absolute Self Confidence (50 days had little if any impact), and now through stage 1 of SM 2.0 (I'm F'd up)!
Can any other SM 2.0 users give me any insight into their experiences?
I would say just keep going and see where it takes you. Don't turn back. Other people have reported roughness and then got through it.
Hey neurotica,
I'm sure you are aware the subs bring up limiting beliefs you have about yourself and sometimes it feels like you have to deal with it and endure the pain.. but you can fix that.
You will experience low points because you are feeding new things into your brain and all without having to go through certain life experiences. Subs will put that in overdrive for you and it is no surprise your subconscious is confused as hell.
BUT REMEMBER these subs bring up your limiting beliefs in front of your face and force you to be honest with yourself. Majority of people have no discipline and let this slide and remain the same for the rest of their lives (unless something clicks in their brains). Take what you are feeling and what you are hearing in your head and learn from it. Decide what you can do about it to change it. Always start with asking why. "Why am I a low life scum bag that doesn't deserve shit?"
It's a tough question but that's what you need to ask yourself and answer it truthfully and honestly. From there positive change begins.
I wish you the best man. We're here to support each other.
Shouldn't the subs be enough to make the changes on their own? I mean, assuming these new beliefs begin to pile up, you should experience the "click" regardless, right?
Yes. But without some sort of action that can take alot longer.
And I think I miscommunicated something in my last post. People who use subs will change regardless because they find out why they were the way the were before. People who do not use the subs never bother asking the questions and looking at the bigger picture. Some people who have never touched a subliminal in their lives are privileged to have a sound upbringing and are very solid in mind body and spirit but there aren't many.
Ah I see, that's a relief. lol.
(10-05-2013, 08:42 PM)neurotica Wrote: [ -> ]I'm through stage 1 and I feel terrible emotionally, just in the darkness and its starting to scare me a little. Basically, I feel like a low life scum bag that doesn't deserve sh*t and isn't worth a squirt of piss. I really, really hope this doesn't persist.
A little background about myself; I'm a 34 yr old engineer, never loved, never been loved (and not a virgin). I found my way here after reading The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, and realized that I wanted to bolster and embrace my masculinity and sexuality, as it was described in that text. I was raised in a Christian household, and went to private Catholic schools, which is not conducive of helping boys become men. As fate would have it, I believe in evolution, and I realize that my upbringing was full of bullsh*t. So, long story short, I've commandeered the ship and am now in control, so to speak.
Subs I have used thus far have been Extreme Self Esteem (had little impact), Alpha Male 5.0 (had tremendous impact), Absolute Self Confidence (50 days had little if any impact), and now through stage 1 of SM 2.0 (I'm F'd up)!
Can any other SM 2.0 users give me any insight into their experiences?
Just because you have taken conscious control does not mean you've finished comandeering the subconscious part yet. It's very likely that your negative response is your subconscious fighting the new programming. It's likely based in guilt, fear and shame. Depression is usually either an emotional traumatic response or a sublimated frustration or anger that cannot be dealt with outwardly, or any other way, for some reason. It is possible that the program is forcing a part of you to deal with fears that you have been long held back by, which makes that part of you feel afraid and hopeless, at the same time. It will eventually be outweighed by the new programming, which will make things much easier.
Thanks for the advice gents! Much appreciated.
It did feel like the program was forcing me to learn something about myself, or break down, as you put it, limiting beliefs. I have a feeling that will come back again.
For the most part, stage 1 seemed to be about being happier and more comfortable in my own skin. I went into the darkness for a few days, but I'm out of it, for now. I have a feeling that SM will be more like a roller coaster ride, whereas AM was like I was shedding skin.
A few positives I've noticed thus far: I feel that same kind of joie de vivre I had as a 16-17 year old, which is nice. I used to be really judgmental about myself when it came to socializing, that seems to be on the wane, I feel much free'er to socialize now. And, I get a kick out of flirting, where I used to feel embarrassed.
All in all, I feel pretty good.
I'm through stage 3 now, a week into stage 4. I felt like stage three was all about facing and overcoming my fears/apprehension, towards women, mainly in approaching and starting conversations, which I didn't do a very good job with such. It seemed as though I had multiple opportunities to learn and grow in those areas but I just ended up falling back upon old habits.
My MBTI is INTP, I'm heavily introverted, so small talk just bores me to death and I have very little drive to "get after it," so to speak. I'm ordinarily a very observant and patient person, however, this program seems to bring about an "in the moment" state of mind, which is very conflicting to me.
For example; whenever I soak in the jacuzzi at Lifetime after my workout, the lifeguard, whom is very attractive, always gets out of her lifeguard chair to walk past me and give me very deep and prolonged eye contact. This has happened like clockwork for the past three days. I've always felt that type of eye contact to be very aggressive/dominant, almost to the point of being rude, like the other person is trying to say "don't even think about it." However, now I'm starting to see that as a signal to "get off your lazy ass, and come talk to me." Cognitive dissonance to the max, Jack!
I'm to the point where, I think, the program is piquing my curiosity about approaching and meeting new babes, but the core of my personality is reminding me of the comfort of familiar territory.
Any thoughts?
It seems to me you are just learning the ropes. You said it yourself that you were raised in a strict school environment. They taught you to see things the way they wanted. That's why you thought of that eye contact as rude. People generally make eye contact to figure each other out. When women do this it's a signal to engage in some convo or make a move. They also do this to assess you. Both men and women can tell a lot about each other by just seeing each other. That's the purpose. To assess the other person. If the person is not worth assessing they won't care to make any eye contact. If something's not worth figuring out we don't give a shit about it. Right?
(12-15-2013, 07:36 AM)neurotica Wrote: [ -> ]For example; whenever I soak in the jacuzzi at Lifetime after my workout, the lifeguard, whom is very attractive, always gets out of her lifeguard chair to walk past me and give me very deep and prolonged eye contact. This has happened like clockwork for the past three days. I've always felt that type of eye contact to be very aggressive/dominant, almost to the point of being rude, like the other person is trying to say "don't even think about it." However, now I'm starting to see that as a signal to "get off your lazy ass, and come talk to me." Cognitive dissonance to the max, Jack!
Well, the way I'm developing myself to take stuff like this is to assume they are relying on you to do everything (which means they are desperate) but forcing them to do something by calling them out on it. What I'd do with this situation is this:
As she walks past looking at me, I'd look her over (if I felt like it of course, it's very important to do what feels right for YOU) then I'd say "Well, what do you want?"
Then it's on her.
I did this once actually, and it seemed to get a good result.
I was at work and there were lots of different companies there because it was a big site.
Anyhow, I'm walking and I see a woman. I was attracted to her but I was particularly angry how I had to do everything and initiate everything. So as I get closer I blurt out, in a very pissed off tone "Good morning!" (Kinda in a way that said "Say something damnit! I'm not going to do everything for you you lazy b*tch")
Anyhow, she LIT UP! Smiled HUGE and was like "Good MORNING!"
Afterwards, I noticed she followed me around to a few places but I ignored her.
I don't know why, but whenever I'm in a bad mood, women respond well to me, and whenever I'm in a good mood, they respond negatively. One of life's little ironies.
Anyhow, develop what you want.
You're the king of the mountain. The local villagers send you their women as tribute and you pick whoever you like. Imagine you're in the royal jacuzzi and a woman walks past. What would you do? Imagine she responded negatively, would you care? Would you have respect for her? Would you even WANT her anymore?
Try it out.
My 2 cents.
Hey neurotica, it sounds like you are on the brink of breaking through to obtaining some life changing results. I know that when I was pursuing women and held eye contact with them it gave me great comfort and confidence to take it to the next step with women. I like how you're actively putting your attention to attracting women and noticing your steps for further activity with a person.
Think about it, your ideas prior to becoming a sex magnet were different from what the sub is attempting to make your brain do now. A couple run throughs of this program and you'll be the definition of SM whenever you choose. Take the power and use what you have to make the approach to women. I like the way you wrote about experiences in your journal post and i'm sure you're on the right track. Most women don't even need to be spoken to for too long before you can take it t something physical or get the number. Keep in mind your self image when you're approaching women. You went out of your way to talk to this one female so expect results and know that you left some repor. Anyways if you have any questions we are here for you.
Thanks
Fonzy
Thanks for the input, guys.
Sarge, I like the way you think brotha!
(12-15-2013, 02:52 PM)neurotica Wrote: [ -> ]Sarge, I like the way you think brotha!
So do I.