Subliminal Talk - Leonidas AM Journey

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If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger

Sums it up pretty well.

No matter what I do, I treat people with respect or I cut them down and directly tell them to do something, which would normally turn anyone off, regardless of anything, I am getting RESPECT and getting it from everybody, also, from the people I am not conversing with I am sub communicating that I am high value. I am so very humble and kind when I speak that sometimes I even surprise myself.

Friend: (slightly pushes me)
Me: Don't do that.
Friend: (pushes me again) Come on man.
Me: Don't you understand what I am saying, don't do that.
Friend: (pushes me harder) I'll do it.
Me: (leaving) Don't talk to me again.

...after some while

Friend: (comes running after me) Sorry (justifying himself).
Me: You better be, but if you this again...

My relationship with my parents is better than ever, it really complicates my mind when I think about that, because in no way I am treating them as they expect me to.

Me: I don't want listen to your BS, talk sense or get out of my room.
Mom: OK (she didn't get angry as usual and started talking things of purpose which really took me by surprise)

There are many more instances like that, I believe they are beginning to Trust and Respect me and at least agree with me on the subconscious level.

Does the early stages of sub encourage you to spend some time alone?

My socialization skills are all time low Huh

Most of my conversations go like this.

Friend: What are you doing? (or any other question for that matter)
Me: huh, what? (lost in my own world)
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Oh, nothing.
Friend: Did you came yesterday? (another question, most of the time)
Me: Yeah.
Friend: I didn't see you, really, did you? (and another question)
Me: Yeah, I did.
Friend: (gets nothing out of me, leaves)

As you can see I am not adding any value to the conversation, I don't want to, I am literally shouting in my head..

LEAVE ME ALONE.

It's like a pendulum, I am high value, I am low value, high again, low again, and it goes on..

I am not trying to consciously do anything, just going with flow..

I have been trying to stop masturbating, or delaying it once per 2 week/more, since one and a half year and I am failing again and again. I can't make it more than 3/4 days, only once in my life I held it for 2 weeks and that too with the help of hypnosis, the suggestion wore off and I started using subliminal, so can't use hypnosis again. I wish I could.

Unfortunately I didn't go out during that (2 week) period and couldn't notice how it had affected me, basically social skills, and how people are responding to me. The purpose is be BOLD and AGGRESSIVE, and transmute sexual energy to get better awareness of myself and my surroundings.

In short, I want to be the BEAST and aglow in sexual energy which I know will force me to do things I could never even imagine doing it normally.

I must have the discipline to do it now.

It was just another day, normal routine, but when I was about to leave the house for college someone punched in me sadness and unworthiness. I went from Smile

in an instant. I made the decision to stay at home at the last moment and slept, felt much relieved.

Also, used PSE Vol 3 last night, it went like this:

0:00 - 0:15 - Is anything even happening? Nah.
0:15 - 0:45 - OK, it's working, but still disappointed.
0:45 - 1:00 - STOP THIS RECORDING! I am going mad!

Last 15 minutes, the effects went into orbit, I got rock hard workout any simulation, started licking my biceps out of nowhere, moving uncontrollably, and what not, I wanted to fuck at that very moment, that too more than ever.

The effects faded away pretty quickly, 15 minutes? Most probably. I don't remember much, my brain went foggy and I was unable to think much expect sex.

It was definitely a worthwhile experience.

When PSE or TUW triggers, it can be literally torturous to be that aroused and not release. I've done a lot of self testing using TUW as a rapid prototyping environment for both itself and other technologies, and I have had days when nothing, and I do mean nothing, would relieve my arousal. PSE is actually the weakest aphrodisiac of what we offer, by far, which is why the price is so low.

(09-19-2013, 11:58 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]When PSE or TUW triggers, it can be literally torturous to be that aroused and not release. I've done a lot of self testing using TUW as a rapid prototyping environment for both itself and other technologies, and I have had days when nothing, and I do mean nothing, would relieve my arousal. PSE is actually the weakest aphrodisiac of what we offer, by far, which is why the price is so low.

Wow! This is amazing, I'd love to experiment with TUW someday, when I am out of my mind.

Very interesting things happening in my life:

I, without even giving a thought, went to the very edge of the second floor and stood there for 5 seconds, I don't know what made me do this, I always wanted to do it but was fearful to do so.

I am in the 'social mood' or extroverted after almost 2 months, I had an strong intuition that when I'll go to the college I would talk to people I never did before, and yes I did, but not the way I expected it due to some undeniable events.

Me: You seems to be the only one left here, where were you? ( I said it in a way like we were friends from the beginning)
Girl 1: Are you in my class? (This should give you the idea how unsocial I've been since using ASC and now, AM)
Me: (fuck you) I knew today is not a good day, anyways....
Girl 1: What's your name? (Does it get any worser Confused

)
Me: (I told my name to her)
Girl 1: I was always wondering who he was..
Me: ( Dodgy

)

Another conversation with another girl

Me: Hey, did you submitted the application?
Girl 2: No (some reason which happens to be the same as mine)
Girl 2: *high fives*

and that's it..

Both girls were not giving me anything to work upon and were quite disinterested, there's a long way to go...

One thing I have noticed that anytime I feel extroverted I feel less Masculine, less Alpha, especially my voice tone, it gets weak.

Though I am happy being in the "mood", I am feeling like all the effects have faded into nothingness..

Also, I failed with my delay masturbation challenge, Day 3, going to start again. It's more of a personal challenge to me, more than anything else, I don't care about the positives/negatives of it as I only care about achieving it now. 21 days, that's it.

I do not want to live with my parents anymore, they want to control every f@#^*%g aspect of my life, and I do not like it, not at all. And, not only my parents but any other person who tries to control me or manipulate me in whatever way, I can't hold back. I don't want to.

My Attitude: It's my life and I will do whatever I wish, who are you to decide for me? You can't even decide what is and what isn't right for yourself.

I am having problems with my seniors and generally with people who are older than me, they are like, 'You are just a newborn, what do you know about life'. I just smile, because any response from my side would certainly mean 'War ON'.

On the lighter side of things, I am much more emotionally stable now and clearly noticing the changes, unless someone try to alpha up on me.
I need to learn to calibrate my response.

This is just the beginning..

(09-15-2013, 07:47 PM)Leonidas Wrote: [ -> ]NEEEEEED....

Last year I felt a very strong urge to start a business, somehow my parents convinced me not to do so. They are the reasons they gave to me:-

1. You are too young, complete your graduation first.
2. Focus only on your studies, that only matters now
3. No one will listen to you..you are young..

I took that BS and didn't act on my urges.

Now, I think the sub is forcing me to be independent, especially financially, and now the desire is stronger than ever, I am just itching to begin my journey.

I am not worried about fitting in, and being good with women, which I was before starting the sub, all my focus is on myself and how can I be truly independent. I have started gathering the bits and pieces of how to start my journey, let's see how it goes..

My parents tell me the same thing almost like 3 days a week. I get you.

(09-21-2013, 09:38 PM)Leonidas Wrote: [ -> ]I do not want to live with my parents anymore, they want to control every f@#^*%g aspect of my life, and I do not like it, not at all. And, not only my parents but any other person who tries to control me or manipulate me in whatever way, I can't hold back. I don't want to.

My Attitude: It's my life and I will do whatever I wish, who are you to decide for me? You can't even decide what is and what isn't right for yourself.

I am having problems with my seniors and generally with people who are older than me, they are like, 'You are just a newborn, what do you know about life'. I just smile, because any response from my side would certainly mean 'War ON'.

On the lighter side of things, I am much more emotionally stable now and clearly noticing the changes, unless someone try to alpha up on me.
I need to learn to calibrate my response.

This is just the beginning..

I'm glad you don't go into WAR ON mode when your seniors tell you "'You are just a newborn, what do you know about life'. I remember my parents used to tell me that. There's really point in getting into WAR ON. The thing I would want to be able to do is simply speak my mind and express my feelings/emotions regardless of what they think.
I love how you want to live your life the way you want to live it. AM is making you independent. That's something I'm working on too.

(09-21-2013, 09:38 PM)Leonidas Wrote: [ -> ]I do not want to live with my parents anymore, they want to control every f@#^*%g aspect of my life, and I do not like it, not at all. And, not only my parents but any other person who tries to control me or manipulate me in whatever way, I can't hold back. I don't want to.

My Attitude: It's my life and I will do whatever I wish, who are you to decide for me? You can't even decide what is and what isn't right for yourself.

I am having problems with my seniors and generally with people who are older than me, they are like, 'You are just a newborn, what do you know about life'. I just smile, because any response from my side would certainly mean 'War ON'.

On the lighter side of things, I am much more emotionally stable now and clearly noticing the changes, unless someone try to alpha up on me.
I need to learn to calibrate my response.

This is just the beginning..

You have to have respect for anyone at any age thats the universal rule. You are squandering you gifts if you act negative towards a person.

I too am going through changes and my parents realize i am becoming more independent but you have to trust in the way you act because it's a learning experience for them too. At the end of the day if you trust in yourself you can't do no wrong. The worst mistakes are the best lessons.

Thanks

Fonzy

(09-22-2013, 09:20 AM)rayrocanaldo Wrote: [ -> ]I'm glad you don't go into WAR ON mode when your seniors tell you "'You are just a newborn, what do you know about life'. I remember my parents used to tell me that. There's really point in getting into WAR ON. The thing I would want to be able to do is simply speak my mind and express my feelings/emotions regardless of what they think.
I love how you want to live your life the way you want to live it. AM is making you independent. That's something I'm working on too.

Yes Ray, more than anything else AM is making me independence, this has been my highlight since I have started using these subs. And, you hold on there and you'll do great.

(09-22-2013, 04:38 PM)Fonzy3 Wrote: [ -> ]You have to have respect for anyone at any age that's the universal rule. You are squandering you gifts if you act negative towards a person.

You get me thinking Fonzy, I've been harsh on people lately for the slightest of reasons. Thank You.

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