Subliminal Talk

The forum is exploding with threads, nice! I'll add my small corner for notes as well.

I'm coming in from 2+ months of PRA. Like others have noted, it was very good. I was tired a lot. Really liked the aura of love side and that helped me in day to day family life. Towards the end my work productivity actually skyrocketed because I somehow got back that excited way of approaching the core of my job. There are obstacles to this but I'm trying to nourish it.

On to AM then. I started off with a plan to run one month but changed to the full plan very soon. It's day 6 now.

Went to the gym on day 1-2. Felt more that motivation or spark that I've been lacking there on PRA. DMSI gave me plenty of workout motivation. Got horny also and went for a PMO release. Not feeling it too much since then.

Dreams gave been very strong. Started very Bondesque: I literally saw D. Craig for a moment there. Maybe that was me, not sure. There was a super hot Bond-girl like woman who seduced me and we spent the night together. Then the next day (in the dream), I was feeling self conscious because she was too hot, like pretty sure she won't even want to talk to me anymore or that that she'd start wanting to but I'd quickly expose myself as non-interesting now. Other dreams had some sort of cinematic Narcos stuff going on, felt very interesting. In another dream a day or two ago, there was some situation with coworkers where every had their turn to say something and on my turn I started singing and put a lot of emotion to it and everyone loved it. That's breaking barriers in expression for sure.

Might be having a flu now so not feeling the best. Good luck to you all AM comrades!

Welcome aboard! Good to see you again after all this time. I agree, all the journals popping up are so beautiful, it could make one manly tear run down my cheek.

Cubic, of course.

Day 9

I was glad to start the loops again after the first break, was missing them. I don't remember the dreams so well anymore though one could've been training for socializing or being awkward and still there.

I'm not sleeping as well as before. Feels like my mind is racing. Couple nights back I got out of the bed and went on the sofa to read from 4 to 6.30 or so, then the alarm rang less then an hour later. Been functioning ok still. So far I've been playing the sub in the mornings.

I'm holding myself back less. Maybe even a bit too rash if I get BS behavior, though that could be the reduced sleep and other things. I could have one cup less coffee also... nah, I won't.

Day 13

One dream I remember: some a-holes were trying to start a fight and they were calling in some big angry dude, kind "I'll get my dad and he'll beat you up" style. Then some big psycho dude appeared frothing at the mouth and I went into a desperate all-out max damage mode. I think it ended there.

Today twice I was feeling really content. And what's special was that I wasn't alone either time. Feeling good about stage 0. Tiredness is real though; some days are feeling really long.

Third time's the charm with PayPal: managed to buy this stage finally.

Just a quick mention that I too noticed already a while ago I'm maybe a bit sharper at work and was thinking it's like Brain Optimizer but thought it's not in AM so must be US or some focusing effect. But now we know it's likely BO, nice!

That was actually one of the reasons I was hesitant on committing to this long AM/AAMTS run: I've never tried Brain Optimizer and thought it could be good for me.

Day 18

Had a couple interesting dreams last night. In the last one, i was in some tribal setting and there was a person (or just a head, I dunno) and there were these peeking holes like short pipes to the brain with a glass panel in the middle going in a horizontal circle all around the head. Then starting from one point, coffee was poured in the pipe so that one could not see though it and I started looking in at that point, then going around the head looking in at the pipes and each pipe has less and less coffee and was offering more visibility until supposedly after a full turn I could see clearly inside the head. But I couldn't just move quickly, I needed to be able to somehow make sure I can handle the different sensation (increasing clarity) of each pipe. I'm thinking it was about clearing brain fog, brain optimizer stuff.

Other than that, feeling good today after getting a good night's sleep finally. I'm more confident in my endurance socially and concentration wise.