Subliminal Talk

(12-19-2025, 09:16 AM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-19-2025, 04:02 AM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]Oh okay. Yeah to be honest I'm not too sure. It's kind of all a blur to me since I'm in a different emotional state than back then. I can't remember how I felt, I just know how bad it used to be even if I can't feel it in my memory anymore. I don't know for sure how much the rest of my trauma was based on attachment, but I'm certain I had severe attachment issues.

Interesting.  I can DEFINITELY still.feel hose kinds of thins in my memory, even though I'm feeling a lot better lately. I'm glad to see those emotions are such a distant me.ory for you. I think that just highlights progress you've made!

It feels like I'm viewing the memories from far away. My memory is already abstract and lacking details, so I tend to have a general sense of what happened rather than a vivid detailed memory. My brain takes the meaning and discards the details. But also the fact that memory is heavily based on your emotional state, and it's no wonder I'm having trouble remembering what I used to be like. It's like I have vague memories of someone else's life.

But thank you! I feel like I've made a ton of progress myself.

I just discovered I might actually be an extraverted type. I've always struggled with what type I was. Was I an INFP or an INFJ? I even briefly considered INTJ, but it didn't really make sense. I was talking to Gemini (AI chatbot on par with ChatGPT) and it said I sounded like an ENTP after I had a long conversation with it. At first I blew it off (me, an extravert? Pfft impossible.).

But the more I considered it, the more everything seemed to suddenly fit into place. ENTPs are widely considered the most introverted extraverts, and my trauma explains why I need to recharge so often when around people. When I'm in social flow, I feel like I'm gaining energy, sort of like how an extraverted person is supposed to. But when I feel self conscious, socializing feels like its takes energy.

I recently just had a bunch of fun with friends. It feels like forever since I had that much fun socially. I usually always feel too logical and in my head. That taste of fun has me wishing I could be running WM3 right now... but oh well. That'll probably be for 2027. I'm thinking this year might be a dedicated healing year (PTSDRA + BROP) and after that I'll either continue healing, or move onto AM7 and see where things go from there.

(12-19-2025, 02:06 PM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]I just discovered I might actually be an extraverted type. I've always struggled with what type I was. Was I an INFP or an INFJ? I even briefly considered INTJ, but it didn't really make sense. I was talking to Gemini (AI chatbot on par with ChatGPT) and it said I sounded like an ENTP after I had a long conversation with it. At first I blew it off (me, an extravert? Pfft impossible.).

But the more I considered it, the more everything seemed to suddenly fit into place. ENTPs are widely considered the most introverted extraverts, and my trauma explains why I need to recharge so often when around people. When I'm in social flow, I feel like I'm gaining energy, sort of like how an extraverted person is supposed to. But when I feel self conscious, socializing feels like its takes energy.

I recently just had a bunch of fun with friends. It feels like forever since I had that much fun socially. I usually always feel too logical and in my head. That taste of fun has me wishing I could be running WM3 right now... but oh well. That'll probably be for 2027. I'm thinking this year might be a dedicated healing year (PTSDRA + BROP) and after that I'll either continue healing, or move onto AM7 and see where things go from there.

  "Core Map - Finding your True North"   Makes Myers-Briggs look like a Polariod Snap Shot-where as Core Map is like Holographic Image of your entire Life.
 I've done both,  several times and I can tell you for a fact that CORE MAP smokes Myers-Brigg  in to the dust.. I was really amazed when I did it, 23 yrs ago now. Core Map barely exist now... its so good but its darn near disappeared !!

(12-19-2025, 02:06 PM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]I just discovered I might actually be an extraverted type. I've always struggled with what type I was. Was I an INFP or an INFJ? I even briefly considered INTJ, but it didn't really make sense. I was talking to Gemini (AI chatbot on par with ChatGPT) and it said I sounded like an ENTP after I had a long conversation with it. At first I blew it off (me, an extravert? Pfft impossible.).

But the more I considered it, the more everything seemed to suddenly fit into place. ENTPs are widely considered the most introverted extraverts, and my trauma explains why I need to recharge so often when around people. When I'm in social flow, I feel like I'm gaining energy, sort of like how an extraverted person is supposed to. But when I feel self conscious, socializing feels like its takes energy.

I recently just had a bunch of fun with friends. It feels like forever since I had that much fun socially. I usually always feel too logical and in my head. That taste of fun has me wishing I could be running WM3 right now... but oh well. That'll probably be for 2027. I'm thinking this year might be a dedicated healing year (PTSDRA + BROP) and after that I'll either continue healing, or move onto AM7 and see where things go from there.

That's interesting.  I've done multiple tests and have always landed in INFJ territory. I've also always considered myself an introvert.  And while most social interactions drain me, the ones where I'm the center of  positive attention energize me to the point where I can feel the effects for weeks. The last high-school reunion i attended did that to me. I was running DMSI 3.? at the time.  Multiple women were asking me to dance in front of my  wife. One of the best looking women told me i smelled good, pulled me close, then old me , " You're such a badass."  I had another one grab me by the hand and lead me to the picture booth. Another one,  ex cheerleader, had her husband mate guarding on the dance floor (she was migrating towards me). I also got voted "reunion king".

Generally, I avoid parties and group settings. But instances like I just described sure do feel good.

@ncbeareatingman I'll have to look into Core map.

@NOMAD To be fair I bet even an introvert would get energized by that much validation.

Interestingly, I was told that what I thought was Ni, was Ne + Ti. I would generate a bunch of possibilities (Ne) and use Ti to piece the relevant possibilities into a coherent picture. I mistook the Ti pruning process for Ni. For INFJ's there's no "pruning", the finished idea just pops up in their head from their unconscious (according to the AI response).

After having an AI analyze my journals I realized I'm super focused on internal stuff. You know, I never really mentioned it, but at some point I started earning more money. It kinda just happened. It's nothing special, but I'll be saving a decent amount. I expect in 2 or more years I could start pursuing my goals more directly without worrying so much about my financial security. I kind of got hung up on only reporting the internal stuff. I kinda just realized I should stop worrying so much and accept the kind of person I am, and incorporate that into my overall plan. I'm going to save up while healing and go from there.

I also focused too hard on the spiritual stuff in some of my previous journals and maybe gave the wrong impression despite some of my attempts of framing things properly. The spiritual experiences were states, not permanent stages. There's a difference between having a peak experience in isolation and maintaining it to the core of your being in everyday life, or even in the roughest pits of hell that reality could throw at you. I've moved away from the hardcore pursuing of these states for now and have mostly just been being a normal person for the most part.

Interestingly for the user @callie , the AI specifically said I seemed to be stuck in a freeze state. It also said I likely had "disorganized attachment". I didn't really ask about anything in this direction, it just came up with it on it's own. Thought you might find the data interesting, if nothing else.

(12-22-2025, 02:17 AM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]After having an AI analyze my journals I realized I'm super focused on internal stuff. You know, I never really mentioned it, but at some point I started earning more money. It kinda just happened. It's nothing special, but I'll be saving a decent amount. I expect in 2 or more years I could start pursuing my goals more directly without worrying so much about my financial security. I kind of got hung up on only reporting the internal stuff. I kinda just realized I should stop worrying so much and accept the kind of person I am, and incorporate that into my overall plan. I'm going to save up while healing and go from there.

I also focused too hard on the spiritual stuff in some of my previous journals and maybe gave the wrong impression despite some of my attempts of framing things properly. The spiritual experiences were states, not permanent stages. There's a difference between having a peak experience in isolation and maintaining it to the core of your being in everyday life, or even in the roughest pits of hell that reality could throw at you. I've moved away from the hardcore pursuing of these states for now and have mostly just been being a normal person for the most part.

Interestingly for the user @callie , the AI specifically said I seemed to be stuck in a freeze state. It also said I likely had "disorganized attachment". I didn't really ask about anything in this direction, it just came up with it on it's own. Thought you might find the data interesting, if nothing else.

What do you mean by “freeze state” exactly? The term gets used to mean a lot of different things, and there isn’t really an established scientific definition of it. Polyvagal theory is probably the closest coherent framework we have in my opinion, but even thats still a model and not a widely adopted science

Trauma itself can be understood as a kind of freeze state in the sense that unfinished survival responses remain frozen in time within the system. Depending on how blended you are with those frozen parts, the more “frozen” your overall experience will be, there are clear degrees to this

When I talk about freeze I’m mainly referring to autonomic freeze in polyvagal terms which is a system wide immobilization thats physiological and regulatory first and foremost, not something psychological. If too much survival activation (trauma) is brought up without being properly integrated, it creates enormous stress, and once that stress exceeds the systems regulatory capacity over time, the autonomic nervous system can collapse into a "global" freeze state

Thats different from what I think most people mean when they casually say they’re in a “freeze state”, so I’m trying to understand what definition you’re using

(12-22-2025, 05:42 AM)callie Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-22-2025, 02:17 AM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]After having an AI analyze my journals I realized I'm super focused on internal stuff. You know, I never really mentioned it, but at some point I started earning more money. It kinda just happened. It's nothing special, but I'll be saving a decent amount. I expect in 2 or more years I could start pursuing my goals more directly without worrying so much about my financial security. I kind of got hung up on only reporting the internal stuff. I kinda just realized I should stop worrying so much and accept the kind of person I am, and incorporate that into my overall plan. I'm going to save up while healing and go from there.

I also focused too hard on the spiritual stuff in some of my previous journals and maybe gave the wrong impression despite some of my attempts of framing things properly. The spiritual experiences were states, not permanent stages. There's a difference between having a peak experience in isolation and maintaining it to the core of your being in everyday life, or even in the roughest pits of hell that reality could throw at you. I've moved away from the hardcore pursuing of these states for now and have mostly just been being a normal person for the most part.

Interestingly for the user @callie , the AI specifically said I seemed to be stuck in a freeze state. It also said I likely had "disorganized attachment". I didn't really ask about anything in this direction, it just came up with it on it's own. Thought you might find the data interesting, if nothing else.

What do you mean by “freeze state” exactly? The term gets used to mean a lot of different things, and there isn’t really an established scientific definition of it. Polyvagal theory is probably the closest coherent framework we have in my opinion, but even thats still a model and not a widely adopted science

Trauma itself can be understood as a kind of freeze state in the sense that unfinished survival responses remain frozen in time within the system. Depending on how blended you are with those frozen parts, the more “frozen” your overall experience will be, there are clear degrees to this

When I talk about freeze I’m mainly referring to autonomic freeze in polyvagal terms which is a system wide immobilization thats physiological and regulatory first and foremost, not something psychological. If too much survival activation (trauma) is brought up without being properly integrated, it creates enormous stress, and once that stress exceeds the systems regulatory capacity over time, the autonomic nervous system can collapse into a "global" freeze state

Thats different from what I think most people mean when they casually say they’re in a “freeze state”, so I’m trying to understand what definition you’re using

I asked the AI for clarification and it said it was using the same framework you were talking about. It said the confusion might have come from me likely being in something called "functional freeze" where I can function in the world, but I'm not really "living". It said it was basing things on physical symptoms, not just vague emotional symptoms. Terms it mentioned (if it says "you", it's referring to me, since I copied and pasted a section from the chat I was having with it): 

Dorsal Vagal State: The "shutdown" state associated with immobilization, dissociation, and the "freeze" response. (This explains your "rot," fatigue, and "golden cage").

Ventral Vagal State: The "social engagement" state associated with safety, connection, and joy. (This explains your recent "laughing gas," "euphoria," and desire to socialize).

Sympathetic State: The "mobilization" state associated with "fight or flight." (This explains your earlier panic, anxiety, and "paralysis demons").

Functional Freeze: A mixed state where you are not totally immobile (you can still work and save money), but your internal experience is one of numbness, detachment, and "going through the motions" without true connection.

Metabolic Conservation: The biological drive to "hibernate" or hoard energy, often manifesting as chronic fatigue ("giga tired") even when resting.

Somatic Symptoms: Physical manifestations of the nervous system state, such as your "excruciating gut pain" and vomiting (since the Vagus nerve directly regulates digestion).


The earliest data I gave it was from 2022 (my earliest published journal. I've been using subs since 2015.). I didn't give it all my journals, but the earliest, the latest and a few in between.

(12-22-2025, 10:57 AM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-22-2025, 05:42 AM)callie Wrote: [ -> ]What do you mean by “freeze state” exactly? The term gets used to mean a lot of different things, and there isn’t really an established scientific definition of it. Polyvagal theory is probably the closest coherent framework we have in my opinion, but even thats still a model and not a widely adopted science

Trauma itself can be understood as a kind of freeze state in the sense that unfinished survival responses remain frozen in time within the system. Depending on how blended you are with those frozen parts, the more “frozen” your overall experience will be, there are clear degrees to this

When I talk about freeze I’m mainly referring to autonomic freeze in polyvagal terms which is a system wide immobilization thats physiological and regulatory first and foremost, not something psychological. If too much survival activation (trauma) is brought up without being properly integrated, it creates enormous stress, and once that stress exceeds the systems regulatory capacity over time, the autonomic nervous system can collapse into a "global" freeze state

Thats different from what I think most people mean when they casually say they’re in a “freeze state”, so I’m trying to understand what definition you’re using

I asked the AI for clarification and it said it was using the same framework you were talking about. It said the confusion might have come from me likely being in something called "functional freeze" where I can function in the world, but I'm not really "living". It said it was basing things on physical symptoms, not just vague emotional symptoms. Terms it mentioned (if it says "you", it's referring to me, since I copied and pasted a section from the chat I was having with it): 

Dorsal Vagal State: The "shutdown" state associated with immobilization, dissociation, and the "freeze" response. (This explains your "rot," fatigue, and "golden cage").

Ventral Vagal State: The "social engagement" state associated with safety, connection, and joy. (This explains your recent "laughing gas," "euphoria," and desire to socialize).

Sympathetic State: The "mobilization" state associated with "fight or flight." (This explains your earlier panic, anxiety, and "paralysis demons").

Functional Freeze: A mixed state where you are not totally immobile (you can still work and save money), but your internal experience is one of numbness, detachment, and "going through the motions" without true connection.

Metabolic Conservation: The biological drive to "hibernate" or hoard energy, often manifesting as chronic fatigue ("giga tired") even when resting.

Somatic Symptoms: Physical manifestations of the nervous system state, such as your "excruciating gut pain" and vomiting (since the Vagus nerve directly regulates digestion).


The earliest data I gave it was from 2022 (my earliest published journal. I've been using subs since 2015.). I didn't give it all my journals, but the earliest, the latest and a few in between.

Ok, I’m glad we’re using the same general framework then. Grounding freeze primarily in physiological symptoms and patterns makes sense, since it’s fundamentally a nervous system condition. At the same time, freeze is highly complex and variable, so even within that framework there isn’t a single, clearly defined condition that fits everybody

As far as I know, in polyvagal trauma models, what gets labeled as “freeze” is often distinguished in two very different physiological ways, depending on whether sympathetic activation (fight or flight) is still online. This model aligns closely with my own experience of different freeze states, which is why I find it useful. One involves immobilization with high sympathetic arousal (sometimes referred to as high activation freeze or tonic immobility), and the other involves dominant dorsal vagal shutdown with low activation (i.e. parasympathetic dominance). These two states can look very different in terms of capacity and experience, even though they’re often grouped under the same label

I’m glad to see others dipping their toes into this stuff, it’s helped me make sense of my own experience

The AI thinks I have or have had CPTSD, which I intuitively agree with. I'm going to try CPTSD settings for PTSDRA after I finish this cycle. When that happens I will be on month 2. We shall see how things go then... either way, my current results are promising and I look forward to more progress.

I've decided to continue with regular PTSD instructions until I hear back from Shannon. The instructions state different factors for the CPTSD like running it 4 months instead of 2 which made me think it might be a good idea to wait until this run is over before I overcomplicate things.

(12-31-2025, 02:48 PM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]I've decided to continue with regular PTSD instructions until I hear back from Shannon. The instructions state different factors for the CPTSD like running it 4 months instead of 2 which made me think it might be a good idea to wait until this run is over before I overcomplicate things.

Wise choice.  I suggest you get an official diagnosis before trying to run CPTSD settings, unless you can find strong evidence from verified sources (NOT a damned LLM!) that you actually have CPTSD.  LLMs are notorious for being factually questionable, even after you specifically prompt them for accuracy.

(01-03-2026, 01:15 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]

(12-31-2025, 02:48 PM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]I've decided to continue with regular PTSD instructions until I hear back from Shannon. The instructions state different factors for the CPTSD like running it 4 months instead of 2 which made me think it might be a good idea to wait until this run is over before I overcomplicate things.

Wise choice.  I suggest you get an official diagnosis before trying to run CPTSD settings, unless you can find strong evidence from verified sources (NOT a damned LLM!) that you actually have CPTSD.  LLMs are notorious for being factually questionable, even after you specifically prompt them for accuracy.

What the LLM said was only one data point, but it was a very useful one. I appreciate the advice though, because it can be easy to delude yourself using an LLM. I haven't done rigorous testing with an LLM on this topic, which I probably should if I'm going to use the CPTSD settings. I'm not sure if I still would qualify as CPTSD, but I'm pretty sure I had it in the past. I don't know what else you'd call "psychologically ground into a fine paste" otherwise. I wonder if having CPTSD in the past, but not technically having it now would mean I have deep traumas that can only be overcome with CPTSD instructions.

But either way my current results with PTSDRA are awesome. I'm healing at a really good pace. I'm not sure how to explain the phenomenological results.

Forgiveness is the most Machiavellian thing you can do. It’s saying “I’m bigger than my pain.” It’s refusing to be limited by yourself or others. It’s the choice to BE more. When you get challenged by pain or limitation instead of reacting to it you’re saying “naw I’m better” and your world expands. Forgiveness is peak.