Subliminal Talk

A little bit of a reduction in physical effects (by which I mean, obviously - boners). I was experiencing actual physical pain, this time on the right side of my chest, right under the pectorals, which got unpleasant enough that it actually had me cussing out loud, lol. Then the tension "burst" after I had some sleep and now I am releasing unpleasant thoughts and emotions by listening to angry songs.

I am also quite involved in the process of dissolving pretty much all internalized authority because up to date, all "masters" (in the "master-student" sense, not in the "master-slave" sense, but that too - long story) as well as all ideologies, beliefs and such have ultimately failed me and led to a big fat nothing. So I'm tearing down all illusions and such until there's nothing left but me. Apart maybe from my analyst, but I'm, like, paying her for that, lololo (I also kind want to do dirty things to her, hahaha, "Dangerous Method" style but the other way around.) Also that "expert through experience" course I've enrolled in is actually quite taxing on the 'ol nerves.

Frankly I'd really enjoy some relief from negative emotionality and I'll probably switch on to the new EPHRA should it come out because I'm tired of putting myself through the wringer. I'll think on it.

Here's an angry song from my repertoire today, hadn't posted one in a long time! It's in Polish so that you guys won't know what it's about, haha.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqOZPa3-Bs0

I went to sleep for a bit and had a pretty vivid sex dream with an accompanying erection, so there's that. Feeling slightly less emotional today, got back to doing translation work and I can focus on it pretty efficiently without having to invoke willpower to focus, so to speak, heh.

On another note, I've plateaued a bit in my proverbial "weight-loss journey" (I appear to be stuck at around 100 kg, and I want to get it down to 90 kg or lower. The lowest I ever weighed as a grown adult was 88 kg), so I decided to spend some of my hard earned monies on a technological contraption that's supposed to expedite matters a little bit (and, from the reasearch I've done, should technically work, especially coupled with a caloric deficit). So I should be getting it sometime in January and I'll be trying it out.

After considerable deliberation I have elected not to purchase any more programs offered by Indigo Mind Labs until they go through actual empirical, supervised, scientific testing and receive FDA approval (or its psychiatric equivalent, if one even exists in the US) and I would strongly advise everyone else to do so as well.

This, of course, is a symptom of "subconscious resistance" because these programs are too powerful and work too well.

Clearly you are frustrated with a lack of results. I mean you already paid for it and you’ve only run it for 1 month, why not continue? I don’t think you have anything to lose. The worst thing that happens is nothing.

Edit: Also if you want a refund running it longer will let you get your money back if it continues to not work.