So, DMSI was a short run. Fears were rampant, had to switch over to OFv3. It became unbearable.
Nothing to do with DMSI, but more with life in general.
Day 5
Running 2 loops of US right now. Couple of days ago I experienced a shift. I felt clean energy wise, present. As if I never ran any subs, as if the past never was. From thereon, execution of subs has become a turning point. No resistance, nothing. My whole demeanor has changed.
I changed to OF3 due to a fear lock. Swinging constantly on the spectrum. One moment I was fine, next moment it was doom and ruin. Doom and gloom, desperation, sheer terror and hopelessness. Instead of living, it was coping, coping, and more coping. Couple that with freeze response, avoidance and procrastination, it was time to run this sub again.
Fear is clearly way more dimished. The first time I re-started OFv3, I felt zen, chilled out. The effects kicking in as soon as my loop was finished. Started out with hybrid. This "afterglow" kept building.
At work, OF shines. Its similar to AM6, but being even more fearless. Clear communication, smoothness in vocal use, calling out people. I notice im seeking the edges in an almost teasing agressive fearless way. I know but IDGAF.
I do notice self image coming up, self worth, perception, and what not, translating and escalating itself in depression because of validation seeking behaviour not bding met in expectations. Spiralling quick into negativity. Yeah, lots of things are coming up. Retention might also play a factor as im no longer numbing myself out.
Also, another thing is that im meditating more often. I came across a youtube channel called edward art, who is basically releasing content from the teachings of neville goddard. Resonates and lines up with hermetic principles and alchemical principles. Very cool. Way better to grasp then, lets say, abraham hicks imo.
Thats it, im freaking done with all this bs going on. I want these fears to be over with once and for all. I lm fed up lmao.
OF gives me my sense of "in control" back. Not in the sense of "I need to be in control" but more of a centredness. Groundedness. Not necessarily content, but more of an optimistic "all is well" translating itself into options and having vision. My sleep has been absolute shit. Going to sleep at 2AM, waking up at 7 AM. Probably due to adrenaline.
Yeah, envy...due to past choices that I made ( which I can rectify ) its almost like im envious towards others who live a, well, more stable life, with less worries and having the basics covered? Last couple of weeks I felt as if the universe conspired against me, and roadblocks kept manifesting themselves. Now I see its oppurtunity to deal with them instead of coping, the whole as within, so without, so the conspiring is just bollocks, but man, having atleast some sort of peace of mind and no worry would be welcome.
It is a very good practice to adjust your point of view and framing to make your experiences a positive, as you seem to have started doing by seeing them as an opportunity instead of a hindrance. See if you can find other directions where you can do that as well. Also, are you thinking your sleep is being degraded by OFv3? And if so, when are you listening to your loops?
(09-02-2023, 12:06 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]It is a very good practice to adjust your point of view and framing to make your experiences a positive, as you seem to have started doing by seeing them as an opportunity instead of a hindrance. See if you can find other directions where you can do that as well. Also, are you thinking your sleep is being degraded by OFv3? And if so, when are you listening to your loops?
No,sleep seems to be more about fear itself then the sub. Prior to running OF ,fear kept me up/awake till 2AM. I had to consciously make the decision to actually go to sleep. Its one of the reasons of why I decided to run OFv3 as it became ridiculous. OF has brought back the discipline to say "ok, time to go to sleep" and actually stick with the decision. Very direct, very linear. OFv3 gives me great sleep. I really missed OF. Cant go wromg with it.
Yeah, the reframing, it reminds me of my former runs with this sub. Its almost like external manifestation. Which brought on more fear/stress/hopelessness. So I was like "wait a minute..." Im actually optimistic now. I purely following intuition right now, which has coined 8 loops US. Im running the sub when fears come up and im getting the green lights to do so. Ive had days since im running the sub in which I played it in the morning/daytime for example.
Let me know if you need help.
In the mean time, go get 'em!
Ran a loop hybrid today and while I was running it, I had a very profound realisation. My trauma stems from shame. Think about it, when you get bullied, its 9/10 shaming tactics. Not guilt or anything, but shame. I wonder what happens would I run the newest OGSF. since this realisation, changes seem to be more grotesque, bigger. As if the lid has popped and a huge upswing can take place now.
Very cool. Just 1 loop of hybrid over my samsung s9 speakers. Tons of things make sense now, as if im getting insight in some sort of blueprint of my personality structure.
Love it.
My usage is 2 days on, 2 days off.
Obviously im executing on OF, and it feels like a mix between DMSI and UMS. makes sense as they both relate to our base needs. ums for financial security and dmsi for sex. Both deal with our primal nature.
Its a classical as within so without. The external being a reflection of the internal, like a mirror.
At the gym women flock ( having barely any fear in your energy field, if you know it or not, doesnt matter really ) to me. At the checkout for gas, this woman was really polite, somewhat on the conservative side, feminine, pleasant. My subconscious basically said "woman that polite are wealthy, have their stuff together, are pleasant and higher quality". I run with it, because of the law of assumption, and thus will my reality be so. Apply the law of assumption even further and TID makes sense. Basically executing before you press play with any sub, which will checkmate any perceived resistance.
Life is good.
No loops today.
Im extremely confident in my sexuality, almost full present. 0 shame. The difference is night and day. Full acceptance.
Been a while since I journalled and I need to get this off my chest.
Im very active on social media and Im aware what kind of content I release. In turn it attracts several responses. From people trying to win favors, to straight up brats, which comes with the territory. This is an indirect result of OF as im very uninhibited, flirty, and what not. I always theorized OF dealing with our very primal nature, and therefore there can be DMSI like effects. Seeing my follower base aswell as my progress in personal interest, I can say im right. I might run OF all night tonight due to experiencing pre AM6 levels of fear. Im having waves of anger stemming from fear of hurting people ( fear of loss ) and setting boundaries. Im avoiding my platform right now like a pu$$y. Like dude... wtf. In my day to day life I experience almost 0 fear and have 0 problems setting boundaries ( social media gives my brain wiggleroom for doubt through thinkjng instead of direct action, similar to what I see with texting, the whole measuring of my response )
Im counting on OF to work this out tonight. I just dont feel good having this type of fear. I can atleast pinpoint it through vent-posting this way.
To add to my last post;
With OFv3 I seem to dive deeper in understanding my own nature. Its almost sterile in the sense of how things are separated, such as sadism vs persecution stemming from trauma. Its highly fascinating to my psychology interested brain. It almost feels like profiling.
Edit: I should journal more like this. Im hugely benefitting from it. Im also letting go of the expectation of feedback as a secundary agenda. This is purely selfcare. It lines things up and I gain control over my belief system such as "im communicating directly" "im communicating clearly" a huge shift away from my negative selftalk and actually moving more in the direction of positive selftalk and self support. Picking that what improves myself and (mental) wellbeing.
Appreciating this one. Thank you for sharing
Hey Kol
You had many run throughs of DMSI and even an interesting journal of DAOS
Can you summarize the results of these subliminals?
Why did you feel the need of using OF
Thank you!