(09-04-2023, 09:06 AM)User_000 Wrote: [ -> ]Since taking days off i always remember that the 3rd day is the one when the symptoms gets worse then the next day is fine but is always the 3rd for whatever reason.
How many times have you done a complete cycle of 7 days on/6 days off yet? How many days off maximum have you done, if less than one?
I wasn't talking about specifically of this program but every fear related that has at least more than 3 days off.
(09-04-2023, 12:33 PM)User_000 Wrote: [ -> ]I wasn't talking about specifically of this program but every fear related that has at least more than 3 days off.
Don't presume it will be the same with this one, if that's what you were thinking. We need to see how it plays out, because 5.11G is very different than previous generations.
Speaking of resistance, starting the second cycle i had a relapse with fears i barely remembered and others very common that almost didn't showed up lately (the ones that makes me feel disgusted). Yesterday i was having a hell of a time dealing with apparently anxiety burning in my chest, dizziness, tiredness, headaches and after that my throat was killing me almost to the point i couldn't swallow for a few moments, then i turned on the program and after my symptoms trying to get worse for the first 20 minutes it started to calm down. Now i wonder what is that which makes feel disgusted.
What I'm going to say might sounds weird but today looks like both masculine and feminine are no longer in conflict. I can just describe it as that based on the experiences i lived today to remember both of them and is weird for both to be okay with each other and actually accept each other. But far from weird is soothing and my first impression was the image of yin and yang. Actually what was weird was how my symptoms were giving me a hard time to deal with but then this happened and now they're gone.
And i'm not referring to man and women but something energetic as far as i can tell.
It appears i need to use the program for more days since my resistance comes back on days off to hit me hard, it also hit me hard on days on but it's easier to deal with.
I suggest that as long as you're through the first full cycle of use according to the instructions, that in order to solve this, you reduce the days off instead of adding days on. How many days off do you go before you notice this issue?
The first day i get depressed, i don't know if that counts as resistance, usually my symptoms start at the second day then one specific random day they become stronger and bug me all day and after that it calms down enough to bear or keeps bugging me but maybe that depends on how much is trying to resist. Since yesterday i'm having stomach aches at night which is weird since i don't eat before that time but usually i get very stressed at that time so maybe is related to that or maybe i'm finally executing enough to overcome a very deep fear.
I'm starting to notice that my compulsive thoughts are gone, i just hope my negative and depressive thoughts be gone as well but maybe that's more suitable with E6, also it appears my subconscious is telling me to dissociate from certain stimulus that trigger fear.
(09-23-2023, 09:50 PM)User_000 Wrote: [ -> ]The first day i get depressed, i don't know if that counts as resistance, usually my symptoms start at the second day then one specific random day they become stronger and bug me all day and after that it calms down enough to bear or keeps bugging me but maybe that depends on how much is trying to resist. Since yesterday i'm having stomach aches at night which is weird since i don't eat before that time but usually i get very stressed at that time so maybe is related to that or maybe i'm finally executing enough to overcome a very deep fear.
I'm starting to notice that my compulsive thoughts are gone, i just hope my negative and depressive thoughts be gone as well but maybe that's more suitable with E6, also it appears my subconscious is telling me to dissociate from certain stimulus that trigger fear.
I need to understand more specifically... for example, on the first day off you get depressed. On the second day off, symptoms (which ones?) start... then on day X you have stomach cramps... I need to know how many days it takes to get to each response.
Sounds like you've got a lot to work through here with responses like these even on the first day off. How is it while you're doing "on" days?
Let's see... plenty of the symptoms are very random but not the situation i am when it happens, they always show up in social enviroments and it could be dizziness, left side chest's pain, tiredness, headaches and sometimes the throat (only one or two at most at the same time). Regarding days off the timing is random as well, I get depressed on day 1 then in day 2 my chest could be hurting and feeling very anxious, dizzy and tired or it could be day 3 and not show bigger symptoms on day 2, what i know is that the day after my symptoms are too intense my body remains calm and after that they show up ocassionally but i don't feel like dying but that happens the first 3 days off, after that they keep showing up sometimes (the same as mentioned before) and if i'm in social enviroments then they show up regardless of days on and off, if not then they might show up at times when my body tends to get stressed (i don't know why) but usually at waking up, 3 pm and 8-10 pm (the sames symptoms mentioned above).
And about my stomach cramps it just recently happened 2 days ago so i need to see how it works.
What a surprise, yesterday i thought it will be a good idea to run USLM for dealing with some stuff in my life and today i woke up feeling successful (not that i realised about that at the time but i feel in a very good mood) and what surprised me the most was that i'm feeling motivated and not sabotaging myself (usually when i feel motivated it only last for a couple of hours and then fades or start feeling down because i perceive my life as shit) and what's even strange is that my symptoms didn't show up since i woke up and even when i failed at some task it didn't feel as a failure (also i remain motivated).
I think i get what's happening, i was using OF programs and forth as an excuse to do nothing to change my life just as people who focus on healing too much and avoid executing DMSI (not that it wasn't working but maybe i got stagnated between my depression and the symptoms). I'm pretty sure i'm getting TID from USLM since many things changed over the past days:
1. Not feeling in the mood for watching most of youtube videos i used to watch and also anime (which i use to evade reality but not games since i'm the one doing the deed instead of only watch and feel accomplishment from doing so).
2. My prejudices are starting to fade and i'm no longer judging others based on my standards.
3. I'm willing to try new things and my mental laziness is fading as well.
4. Stop sabotaging me thinking is imposible and not losing motivation.
5. Getting rid of childish thoughts which i use to lie to myself.
6. The social part of myself is trying to get out (good job going through all that shame, i'm rooting for it).
I will give it a try and also need to say i still have access to the streaming files of OGSFv2 after canceling the subscription and passed more than one month.
I've appreciated your informative posting so far. It's stood out because it appeared you were in an especially deep hole, and yet OGSF v2 managed to bring you dramatic improvements quickly. FWIW I would not be changing anything yet if I were you. Stay with it and cement those gains. Life is long and there is plenty of time for you once you get yourself physically and mentally healthy.
I'm still in the deep hole thanks to my depression and many negative beliefs that doesn't involve fear, shame and guilt but rather something that prevents me from changing to my ideal self (familiar, social and cultural beliefs) but is true that since running OFv1's remake i made improvements I may have forgotten now but i haven't forgotten the reason why i started using it (my fears were becoming so nasty i was afraid of sleeping and my mental health was getting worse by the day). i still don't know how i survived the time with OFv3, luckily covid helped me by making me staying at home since i could have collapsed outside. It has been a long journey and it's far from ending but i promise i will get rid of those pathological fears, shame and guilt if not today when 6G version comes out (that would be the end).
So i wouldn't call this quickly, most likely digging deep after getting stagnated with the previous versions. As far as i can tell i been doing it for 3 years already so i agree that life is long.