Subliminal Talk

Hey guys,

I'm not a daily online journal kind of guy, but I wanted to at least create a thread to share from my written journal as I go through my journey with Overcoming Fear v.3.0

Spoiler:  I just passed the 3 month mark recently so this post will be a retroactive account of using the OF subliminal.

I’m a single guy in his late 40s, still slim and have a reasonably well paying tech job (that I have zero interest it).

***

My method of listening to the subs is in bed, with two speakers on either side my head, played through an MP3 player. 

My speakers are a pair of Audioengine A2 Plus 60W Powered Desktop Speakers - rated for 65Hz-22kHz ±2.0dB Freq. Response.  My Mp3 player is a SanDisk Clip Sport Plus MP3 Player playing MP3 format subs.

I prefer the masked Trickling Stream track.

My primary reason for choosing the Overcoming Fear sub is for social courage and general ease of living. 

I’m pretty isolated working from home, I moved to a small town where I know no one and I have zero Social Media presence.  I’ve never seen myself as someone with social anxiety - it’s more about social non-participation for me.  I’d like to get out and participate in life like I used to as a younger man.  Mostly, I’d like have a great woman in my life.  I’m no psychologist (not that they know anything) but I’m guessing fear is a big factor in my reluctance to “put myself out there”.

***

So, my personal Calendar/Journal shows that I started using the Subliminal on Aug 25th, and, as directed, I marked my usage pattern as:

Day 1 (1 loop)
Day 2 (1 loop)

Day 3 (OFF)
Day 4 (OFF)
Day 5 (OFF)

I repeated this pattern for over three weeks, and it felt just about right because I had shallow, troubled sleep, disturbing dreams and a lot of exhaustion during the day.

about a month and a half, I had moved up to:

Day 1 (2 loops)
Day 2 (2 loops)
Day 3 (2 loops)

Day 4 (OFF)
Day 5 (OFF)

My sleep was still not great.  Never felt truly rested even though I would drift off before the track was over.

As for my relationship with fear, apart from upsetting dreams about death of loved ones, altercations/fights, my waking life was unchanged. 

My written journal includes entries where I expressed:

- impatience at still not feeling the courage to ask a woman out on a date,

- frustration at catching myself still acting in (lame) approval seeking ways with random contractors working on my house

- disappointment that it’s another Saturday night and I’m going to bed bored and alone after pointless hours on YouTube, with ZERO desire to go out to socialize.  I honestly don’t even know what that would look like now. 

But, I also kept reminding myself I had just started the sub.  I’m in for 6 months and won’t allow myself to quit before then.

***

HOWEVER…there was ONE THING that is clearly the result of the subliminal!

I work from home as a freelancer doing tech/computer stuff.  Currently I’m booked for a long term, full time project and though I get requests from recruiters for availability and project-based job offers from LinkedIn, I politely decline the because…well, I have a full time job already and I’m really not the burn the candle from both ends kind of guy.

Well, one night I was lying in bed and thought, “Wait. Why not take another project…what the Hell??  Imagine the extra money.  It would be MORE than double.  And if you don’t like it or if it’s too stressful, JUST QUIT.”

It was one of those ‘eyes pop open - flash cut’ moments you see in movies.  A true lightbulb moment for me.

The next day, I responded to an inquiry and within a week I was booked on a second FULL TIME project.  The hours were going to be murder but the pay was astronomical.

I will admit, the next 3 weeks where I worked two full time jobs were the hardest I’ve ever experienced.  One day, I clocked in 20 hours at the computer.  My average for those three weeks was about 17 hours a day and I also worked the weekends to catch up.

At the end of that short contract I took on, I declined the extension and happily went back to working just one full time job.  Those three weeks nearly killed me but I made an Ungodly amount of money in that time and realized I can survive something like that (while never wanting to do it again).

Through it all though, I remember thinking, the subliminal hasn’t helped me get a date or stand up for myself, it hasn’t helped me feel comfortable in uncomfortable social scenarios.  BUT it almost certainly helped me  jump into a Kurosawa style battle scene of a work schedule and survived.

Looking over my journal for the weeks that followed, I was back to the wishing and wondering when I would see the behavioral changes that I was seeking.

By now, passing the third month mark, I’m freestyling the exposure patterns but it’s more or less like this:

Day 1 (1 loop Hybrid + 4 loops Silent)
Day 2 (1 loop Hybrid + 4 loops Silent)
Day 3 (1 loop Hybrid + 4 loops Silent)

Day 4 (OFF)
Day 5 (OFF)

And thankfully, at this point I’m now using the sub with no sleep problems and manageable energy fluctuations during the day.

I’ll keep posting (though infrequently) as I continue the OF sub.

Thanks for reading.

You need to use the program enough loops, and the right formats, to get past sleep issues. Glad you're seeing that.

Still at it with OF sub. Averaging about 4 nights a week one (1 loop Hybrid + 4 loops Silent) and three nights off. I sleep with speakers on either side of my head - playing long enough that I hear it all through the night.

Also taking occasional breaks throughout the day to just sit, close my eyes and play one loop of Hybrid with high end Sony headphones. It's nice and restful but as for results, I'm basically the same place I was when I started in August.

My only change I can identify is that now I feel apathetic about virtually everything. Whereas before, I would stress about things, now I seem to default to a "who cares/what's the difference/why bother" internal response. Other than that, no difference in my behavior or actions.

I was really hoping for a shift towards proactive, action-oriented positivity in place of fear. Instead, I'm exactly where I was before I started the sub, except I don't care.

Pretty disappointed. It's been months and I wanted more from this sub

Any ideas on how to use the Hybrid/Silent tracks differently? When, how often, with what outputs? I've gone so long with the OF sub, I don't want to abandon it, but more and more I feel like any shift would have happened by now.

Thanks.

Today I realized this subliminal isn't working, hasn't worked to diminish fear in me.

I came home and instantly did a calculation on how long I've been listening to this subliminal. It's been about 5 1/2 months.

Here's what 5 1/2 months of this subliminal has done for me so far.

1) I decided to take an additional job on top of my current main job despite the scary prospect of crazy long days and high stress. For about a month, I was working 16 - 18 hour days. I got through it and decided I didn't want to do it anymore. I guess I overcame my fears to try that crazy work load. But weeks later, I recalled I've done double-dip jobs before so it's not unprecedented in my life.

2) Overall apathy instead of anxiety. I'm not an anxious person in general but when the prospect of doing something unnerving or risky presents itself, I freeze up and flee. So, after months of this OF subliminal, I still avoid and fail to do the thing I fear but instead observe myself thinking, "So what" "What difference would it make anyway?". Not what I was hoping for from this subliminal.

3) TODAY, I experienced the best example of how this subliminal has been a waste of time. I was at a store and noticed one cute girl, then another cute girl in a different aisle. I did my usual thing which is just avoid crossing paths with them so avoid seeming like the creepy guy who wants to talk to them but is too lame to start a conversation (the truth). I ended up in the same aisle with one and saw the other pass close by and both times I wanted so much to start a conversation but was completely paralyzed with FEAR. Just like every other time in my life.

So 5 1/5 months and that's my story. I'll ride it out to 6 months because that's what the instructions say, but what difference will it make at this point?

It's disheartening that not even a hint or a whisper of change happened in my relationship to fear. I mean after this long with the subliminal, shouldn't I have at least had some courage to TRY starting a conversation with an attractive woman in a store?

MGTOW, here I come.

From someone who's done most of the 6 months of OF, stick with it.
Most of the results came at the last 2 months.

Also, a tip for talking to women (results may vary), direct beats indirect. She knows why you're talking with her, and beating around the bush has always left me feeling shitty about it, because you box yourself in to a pleasant but placid conversation when asking her about the ice cream she's buying.

My go-to pickup line is "hey, can I meet you really quick?" (comes from John Anthony Lifestyles). She'll usually ask you to repeat, then when you do, she'll echo back "meet me?". Then you could say, "yeah, I thought you were cute, so I figured I'd introduce myself." Then exchange names and start asking questions about her, flirt a bit if you know how. Back off if she brings up any time or boyfriend objections.

Seeing that most women have made me repeat myself, I've substituted the line with "hey, can I introduce myself to you really quick?" and have found that I don't need to repeat myself.

After OF v.3, my approach anxiety is virtually zero (it's been a while, but probably still low). I do consider whether I'll embarrass her or create an awkward situation/scene in front of others, but it's coming from a different place. Keep at it!

I'm married, and I still have "approach anxiety." I don't need to approach, don't intend to approach, but I'll tell you what - two months into OF my car caught fire while I was driving. Fire up to the windows on both sides, no steering, no brakes. I jumped out. At 30 MPH.

It could be that I have kids, it could be a natural instinct to survive, I don't know. But I was also running OFv3.

Unfortunately, you didn't journal very much. That would have been nice to peruse through. Maybe some of us could have helped you see what you haven't. I'm not saying it should have worked for you, but we don't know, because you didn't keep a good record.

Oh, and while I ran OF, I was fearless investing money. I'm now making more than 500K US per year, thanks to doing what I was afraid of doing in the past. Sorry that you haven't had that kind of result, but personally, I attribute much of that to OFv3.

I’m not sure that combining formats is a good choice. You need to find the format that you respond best to and hammer on that. And secondly, what volume were you listening to?
If I were to run OF again, I would run it at much higher volumes than I did.

(02-06-2022, 05:56 PM)Ampersnd Wrote: [ -> ]From someone who's done most of the 6 months of OF, stick with it.
Most of the results came at the last 2 months.

Also, a tip for talking to women (results may vary), direct beats indirect. She knows why you're talking with her, and beating around the bush has always left me feeling shitty about it, because you box yourself in to a pleasant but placid conversation when asking her about the ice cream she's buying.

My go-to pickup line is "hey, can I meet you really quick?" (comes from John Anthony Lifestyles). She'll usually ask you to repeat, then when you do, she'll echo back "meet me?". Then you could say, "yeah, I thought you were cute, so I figured I'd introduce myself." Then exchange names and start asking questions about her, flirt a bit if you know how. Back off if she brings up any time or boyfriend objections.

Seeing that most women have made me repeat myself, I've substituted the line with "hey, can I introduce myself to you really quick?" and have found that I don't need to repeat myself.

After OF v.3, my approach anxiety is virtually zero (it's been a while, but probably still low). I do consider whether I'll embarrass her or create an awkward situation/scene in front of others, but it's coming from a different place. Keep at it!

Thanks for the reply.  At what point did you experience a big shift in approach anxiety?

(02-06-2022, 07:27 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]I'm married, and I still have "approach anxiety."  I don't need to approach, don't intend to approach, but I'll tell you what - two months into OF my car caught fire while I was driving.  Fire up to the windows on both sides, no steering, no brakes.  I jumped out.  At 30 MPH.  

It could be that I have kids, it could be a natural instinct to survive, I don't know.  But I was also running OFv3.  

Unfortunately, you didn't journal very much.  That would have been nice to peruse through.    Maybe some of us could have helped you see what you haven't.  I'm not saying it should have worked for you, but we don't know, because you didn't keep a good record.

Oh, and while I ran OF, I was fearless investing money.  I'm now making more than 500K US per year, thanks to doing what I was afraid of doing in the past.  Sorry that you haven't had that kind of result, but personally, I attribute much of that to OFv3.

Whoah, what a story!  Jumping out of burning cars and bringing in half a Mil a year.  Incredible.  Reading your post cheered me up.  Thanks for sharing. 

I still feel like the guy who got left behind; after all these months I have virtually nothing to report from the Sub.  I'm really happy for your success!

(02-07-2022, 06:58 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ]And secondly, what volume were you listening to?

Pretty high volume.  I can hear the sounds from the other room if I wake up and walk away.

Too high a volume, or too much perceptory pressure, will result in shutdown or stonewalling. Your response of apathy? That's shutdown response. It means that you're pushing the fearful parts of yourself too hard or too fast. Basically, you have to find the format and volume that gives those parts of you enough push to do something, but not so much push that they're terrified into survival mode. That's why the course is 6 months per run through. Slow and steady wins the race.

If you're using Hybrid, and/or using too a high volume, then I see why you would have had little to no no good results.

I recommend using a volume of 12 or 13 out of 15 on an android phone, 13 or 14 out of 16 on an iPhone or 24 to 16 on a Google phone, and using ultrasonic format. But if you're getting bad results, or no results, then you may want to try something different. The settings have to match your unique needs, which is why I try to make the AutoConfig module work.

So it seems you need something that triggers your fearful self less, which would be lower volume on Ultrasonic or using Masked.

I didn't see your earlier posts or I would have said something. Sorry for that, it's hard to keep up with everything I have to do and read everything on the forum.

(02-07-2022, 02:03 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Too high a volume, or too much perceptory pressure, will result in shutdown or stonewalling.  Your response of apathy?  That's shutdown response.  It means that you're pushing the fearful parts of yourself too hard or too fast.  Basically, you have to find the format and volume that gives those parts of you enough push to do something, but not so much push that they're terrified into survival mode.  That's why the course is 6 months per run through.  Slow and steady wins the race.

If you're using Hybrid, and/or using too a high volume, then I see why you would have had little to no no good results.

I recommend using a volume of 12 or 13 out of 15 on an android phone, 13 or 14 out of 16 on an iPhone or 24 to 16 on a Google phone, and using ultrasonic format.  But if you're getting bad results, or no results, then you may want to try something different.  The settings have to match your unique needs, which is why I try to make the AutoConfig module work.  

So it seems you need something that triggers your fearful self less, which would be lower volume on Ultrasonic or using Masked.

I didn't see your earlier posts or I would have said something.  Sorry for that, it's hard to keep up with everything I have to do and read everything on the forum.

Thanks for the response, Shannon.  Very helpful.