Subliminal Talk

I began running this late last week. For anyone who knows me fear , immaturity, and insecurity has cost me more than I ever imagined. The life I wanted but was too oblivious and unaware og at the time. A job I miss dearly that I could have excelled at but chose instead to turn it into a dramatic and chaotic mess that lead to me being let go. An apartment that I loved but chose to let my fear , anxiety, impulsivity, and immaturity run wild instead of just keeping my mouth shut, going to work every day and doing as much overtime as possible, and staying off the internet and social media so the FOMO I allowed to fester and destroy the life I had. 
I have spent the last year or so working hard on my mental and emotional maturity and although I feel it's an ongoing process I have entire days and moments where I don't recognize the person I was a couple of years ago let alone five , ten , fifteen, or twenty years ago. 
I forced myself to be an extrovert when in reality I am an introvert who just wants to do what needs to be done and be left alone
OFV3 5.75 has only added to the work I was already doing. After running a couple of loops for two days I felt myself relax and let go like I never have before.

In the past I always felt a heavy sense of obligation and need to try to make everyone happy or people please. That shit is too exhausting and if people don't like or want something they can do it themselves